So that’s when I got the idea.
It was bad, probably. Something I shouldn’t have done without first talking to Grey about it.
But I also knew Grey. And I knew deeply that if I told Grey about this idea I had, he probably would shoot it down as fast as he possibly could.
So I had to act now, while he was resting. I gently let go of his hand, which had been laced in mine, and he stirred slightly, rearranging on the couch, but kept snoozing. I slowly stood up from the couch and walked down the dim hallway a little bit, out of earshot but so that I could still see Grey.
I pulled out my phone, scrolled through my contacts until I reached Mom, and dialed the number, already feeling the tension rising in my bones.
“Adam,” she answered, voice cool and detached as ever.
“Mom,” I said.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of a call from you?” she said, and I heard her shuffling papers in the background.
“Well, I have a request, actually.”
“Interesting. And what’s your request?”
I took a deep breath, my heart feeling like it was going to burst out of my chest. “I… I want my money.”
“Hah,” she said, a quick, sharp startling laugh that made me jump a little. “Your money. You finally want it, all of a sudden?”
“I do.”
She laughed again, a little quieter this time. “Oh, Adam. I’ve been waiting for the day you finally called to ask me this. Truthfully I couldn’t stand the thought of you out there working your odd jobs for petty cash when your father left you a perfectly reasonable amount of money. Maybe you’ll finally go back and get a degree?”
“Mom. I’m not going to get a degree,” I said, trying to keep my voice even. “Something’s come up, and I’m not going to talk about it with you, but I just need my money.”
“Hm,” she hummed. “Well, you’re not going to hear any argument from me. My financial advisor will be thrilled you’ve finally come to your senses. Adam, maybe you can finally live a normal life. Get yourself together. Quit it with all those meditation retreats and luthiery classes… are you planning to buy a house?”
“Listen, can you just tell the advisor to transfer me the funds? I already have the credit card. I’ve never once used it.”
“I’ll call him tonight, Adam. Consider it done. Though I do hope this is the first step of many steps where you’ll finally come to your senses. We still have many properties here in New Mexico, you could move right on in.”
I paused for a moment, my blood boiling, knowing I shouldn’t say what I was about to say.
But I was too angry. I couldn’t do it. So I did something stupid, and said it.
“Sure, mom,” I said, each word a bitter dagger. “I’ll come back to live in New Mexico, find a husband, and come every year to Christmas so I can hear you denigrate our lifestyle behind my fucking back. Thanks, but no thanks.”
There was a pause, and I heard her sigh into the phone. “Adam,” she said. “I don’t know why you push me like this.” For a moment her voice faltered, and I thought I might have finally broken through, gotten to a soft side of her, made her realize that I was never going to be what she wanted me to be.
But I hadn’t.
“I don’t agree with your lifestyle, that is true, and it isn’t going to change. But New Mexico is your home, and you know it—”
“It’s not my home,” I said, my voice haggard. “Nothing about it is home. My home is here, now, mom.” My heart dropped in my chest, and I stared out the window at the end of the hallway, watching as what was left of the sun fade dimly behind the dark clouds. “I just need the money.”
“Consider it done,” she said, and I hung up the phone.
I was dumbstruck. I should have known she’d act the way she did—it was no surprise, and I’d always known my mother’s opinions about hating the fact that I was gay. But paradoxically she had always wanted me to take my father’s money—she seemed to think it would be some sort of stepping stone to get me to come back to the “family” and live my life how she wanted me to live it. Of course, that would never happen, but somehow I’d thought maybe if I finally took the money, it could form a bridge between us, and she would give me a little leeway. Lighten up a little bit.
But it hadn’t worked like that at all. She was perfectly fine giving me the cash, but completely unable to accept me as a person. It almost felt like I was another development project of hers—something she could throw money at and hope for improvement.
It was disgusting.
And that’s why I still wasn’t going to spend a dime of the money on myself. I couldn’t. There wouldn’t be any way I could live with myself if I did.
But I could spend the money on Grey.
There was no way he would be able to pay for even more hospital and ambulance bills on top of what he already had. No guarantee he’d find a high-paying job in Portland. And there was no one more deserving of the money than him.
I knew he’d never accept it, of course—which is why I snuck past him, as he slept there on the couch, and made my way to the financial desk in the lobby of the hospital. I had to wait for two other patients in line ahead of me, and some small part of me worried that they wouldn’t let me pay for Ms. Foster’s bills—since I had no relation to her and had no idea how hospital bills even worked. But when I got to the front of the line, it was shockingly easy.
They asked for her name. Located her records. They certainly seemed surprised that I wanted to pay for all of the bills up-front, since apparently it’s very uncommon, but they happily accepted my credit card information.
I told them that I was Grey’s partner, to make it easier. And at the end of the transaction they told me that Ms. Foster was lucky to “have a son-in-law like me,” which sent a jolt through me that I couldn’t even quite place.
But that was it. It wasn’t even difficult, and all of Ms. Foster’s hospital bills were taken care of.
I felt strange, like I’d somehow done something sneaky but also like I’d done the right thing. As I walked slowly back toward the main waiting area where Grey was sleeping, I was barely aware of my surroundings, wandering past the open hospital doors.
“Hey,” I heard, a whisper coming from inside one of the hospital rooms. And when I looked in, I realized that it was Grey’s mom. I was right outside her door, and I hadn’t even realized it.
“Oh, sorry—I’m not a nurse—” I said, starting to walk away.
“I know who you are, get in here,” she said, waving me in but keeping her voice low. I took a few steps into her room. “He’s still sleeping, right?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I said, looking over my shoulder, “He’s fast asleep.”
“Good,” she said, smiling at me. His mother was beautiful—she certainly had seen better days, and her hair was pretty unkempt from the hospital stay, but her eyes were an even clearer blue than Grey’s were, like the brightest blue of the sky but deep set around the edges.
“Hi Ms. Foster, I’m Adam,” I said, reaching out a hand to her.
“I’ve heard a lot about you,” she said, shaking my hand. “You’re the neighbor, huh?”
I nodded. “Yep. And the dog walker.”
“And are you somebody famous?” she said, squinting her eyes at me.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Not really, not anymore,” I said. “But I was in the band 5*Star back in the late 90s and early 2000s.”
“Hm,” she said. “Haven’t heard of them, but that’s certainly interesting.”
“Do you know Chandler Price?”
“Oh! Chandler Price! Of course! He was in that movie a couple years back—the one with the dancing—”
“Yup,” I said with a grin, “Sun Comes Up. He said he had fun filming that one. Chandler was in 5*Star with me. I also grew up with him in New Mexico.”
“Oh, wow,” she said, her eyes going wide as she took in the information. “So you really were pretty famous, weren’t you.
”
I shrugged noncommittally.
“Well you certainly are handsome,” she said. “Would you like any cheese crackers? Or a granola bar?” she asked, reaching over to a snack basket on the table next to her bed.
“No thanks, I appreciate it though,” I said, trying not to smile at how cute she was being.
“The doctors gave me this snack basket, supposed to be full of heart-healthy stuff, but to be honest I hate those damn granola bars.”
“Yeah, they’re not great, are they?” I said.
“They’re frickin’ awful,” she said with a quick laugh. There was a short pause, and as she looked at me I had no idea what she was thinking. I felt strangely comfortable around her, though—already I could see that she was a likable person, even in her current state in a hospital bed.
“So you brought Grey here?”
“Yeah,” I said, “I got him here as fast as humanly possible.”
She nodded slowly. “I’m glad you’re helping Grey out, Adam,” she said, her tone becoming a little more serious. “He’s…. dealt with a lot in his life, and he’s such a good kid, but he stresses himself out sometimes, y’know?”
“I know,” I said. “I think it’s been a real help to him having me walk Chewy lately.”
“But not just Chewy,” she said, shaking her head and staring into the middle distance. “He’s been different, since he’s become friends with you. He’s happier. I can see it. He’s needed a good friend for so long. It’s a shame he’s planning to move away….”
I took in a breath. “I know, it is kind of a shame. But… it’s what he wants. And I’m happy he’s finally following that dream.”
She nodded, and was silent for a few moments before fixing her eyes on me again. “What brought you to Fox Hollow? Not really the kind of place that attracts celebrities.”
“Grey has asked me the same question,” I said, shaking my head a little. “Truthfully, it was sort of… random. I was aimless, searching for a place to settle. I knew I liked the Pacific Northwest, and I had a friend in the area. And I ended up in Fox Hollow.”
“You like it?”
“I love it,” I said, kind of surprising even myself with my answer. “It just feels right being here.”
She puffed out a short laugh. “Howcome?”
I knew what the most obvious answer to that question was. Grey. But I hadn’t missed the fact that his mom had called us “friends,” and I knew that Grey had never come out to her, so of course I wasn’t going to say that. How could I tell her how much her son had come to mean to me? All the gifts he’d brought me, the nights we’d spent together, or how my hand just felt at home on the small of his back when we slow danced?
So instead, I told her the more superficial reasons I enjoyed Fox Hollow. “I love the atmosphere here,” I said. “I grew up in the desert, and the evergreens and rain around here are gorgeous to me. And the people all sure seem to be kind, too.”
“I do love the people,” she said, eyeing me as if she finally decided that she trusted me. “Hey Adam, do you think you could do me a favor?”
“Sure thing, Ms. Foster. You want some water or something?”
She shook her head and then reached over to the side table again, rummaging in her purse and extracting a small piece of paper. “Actually… it’s something a little more fun than that.”
She folded up the piece of paper and handed it to me. “This morning, before you guys got here, there was another guy in this room with me,” she said, gesturing over to the other unoccupied bed in the room. “He’s in for surgery on his knee, but…” she dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “…we really hit it off, Adam,” she said. “I’d never tell Grey this, because he’d think it was weird, or something. He never liked it when I used to date. But… could you give this note to Mr. Borneil down the hall? They moved him over there because they thought we’d enjoy the privacy, but… I already miss him, to be honest with you.”
I couldn’t contain the smile that was spreading across my face. I clutched the folded up piece of paper in my hand. “Sure thing, Ms. Foster, I can give it to him right away.”
“We were talking all morning about our kids, about how we both love watching Survivor, and cooking in our free time. He even gardens, can you believe that?”
“Sounds like a pretty awesome dude, to be honest,” I said. I could practically feel my heart filling up with how adorable this all was.
“And don’t tell Grey, okay?” she said with a wink. “I’ll only tell him if we actually go out on a real date once we’re outta here.”
“I sure hope you do get to go on a date with him,” I said. “Sounds like a budding romance to me.”
She crossed her fingers and gave me a grin. “Thanks again, Adam. I can see why Grey likes you so much.”
I left her room, practically beaming, and walked down the hallway. Most of the rooms were empty or had women or people inside who couldn’t possibly be Mr. Borneil. Finally I gently knocked on the doorframe of the room down the hall where an older man with salt and pepper hair was sitting in the hospital bed, reading the newspaper with glasses halfway down the bridge of his nose. “Evening,” he said, in a Texas drawl.
“Hello,” I said, “Are you Mr. Borneil, by chance?”
“That’s me, alright,” he said. “Is it already time for my x-ray?”
“Ah—no—I don’t work here, actually, but… I have a delivery for you,” I said, slipping him the note. “It’s from Ms. Foster down the hall. She says hello.”
A smile spread wide across his face. “Well I’ll be damned. I was hoping this morning wouldn’t be the last time I saw her.”
“She says she was very glad to get to know you,” I said.
“I was glad to meet her, too,” he said with a huge smile. “Thank you.”
“No problem,” I said, giving him a quick wave. “Have a great night.”
I slipped out of the room and back down the hallway to Grey. He was still sleeping, and I was sure he’d be out for hours, but when I sat next to him, he stirred slightly, lifting his head and putting it against my thigh.
“Missed you,” he mumbled, most likely still completely asleep, but the small gesture was enough to make my heart dance in my chest. I sighed, looking down at him as his breathing evened out again, sleeping soundly, and I gently stroked my hand over his always downy-soft hair.
And despite the chaos of the day, despite all the shitty things that had led us to that night, that moment seemed perfect. I had helped Grey. Helped his mom. And now I was sitting with Grey’s head in my lap, feeling his gentle warmth against me, and there was nowhere else I would have preferred to be.
Fourteen
Grey
I had been going back and forth between the hospital, Freezy Sweet, and the shelter so much that I’d forgotten there was anywhere else to go. For the next two days I essentially only stopped at home to sleep and shower, and the only small comfort was that I could share the bed with Adam.
And God, did Adam ever pick up the slack. He helped with Chewy, every morning, afternoon and night, and stayed back with her when I spent all my free time at the hospital with my mom.
It soon became obvious that it was kind of unnecessary—my mom seemed completely normal, and after they started her on a blood pressure medication, it had been stable for the full two days. My mom held court in her hospital room, and she’d seemed to have made at least two new friends—an older man with a Texas accent from down the hall who came to visit and a middle-aged woman who had brought in cookies my mom was strictly forbidden to eat, but snuck in anyway.
Overall, she seemed to be doing better than ever. She asked about Adam more than I would have expected, which was a little strange. At the end of the second night, the doctor told me that they’d keep her for one more day, just to make sure the medication wasn’t causing any long-term side effects, and then they would let her go.
At around 11 p.m. I finally headed home. I’d been taki
ng the bus to and from the hospital, feeling too guilty or proud to ask Adam to shuffle me back and forth every single time, though I’m sure he would have offered.
Because Adam was preternaturally nice. Kind, and giving, and willing to drop everything to help me and my mom. I still kind of couldn’t believe it, and as I stared at the fogged-up bus windows on my way home, I tried to think of what I could do to repay Adam for all the help he’d been. My little terrariums and mangoes weren’t going to cut it anymore. I needed to give him something better, I just didn’t know what.
When I got back to my house I saw that the light was on inside, and I knew that meant Adam would be there. I unlocked the door and opened it to find Adam sleeping on the couch with a book resting on his chest, Chewy lying on his lap. It was such a beautiful moment, but was quickly gone when Adam sat up, waking up from his slumber, which made the book slide off him onto the floor. Chewy also sprang into action, leaping off the couch and bounding toward me in greeting.
“Hey,” Adam said, his voice a little groggy with sleep.
“Hi,” I said with a deep sigh. “They’re making her stay one more night. Probably for the better, I guess.” I crossed the room and sat on the couch next to Adam, sinking my body against him almost involuntarily.
“Alright,” he said, standing up and holding out a hand. “You’re gonna lie face down on the bed, and I’m gonna massage you.”
“Adam, I’m so tired—”
“I promise this isn’t me trying to get you into bed and fuck. Although if you end up wanting that, I sure as hell won’t say no.”
I snorted.
“Seriously,” he said. “I just want to help you be less tense. It’s been a hell of a few days.”
“It really has,” I said, standing up and crossing over to my bed. I lay face down and let him begin working out the knots in my shoulders. “Jesus, that feels so fucking good,” I said.
“You say that every time I massage you,” Adam said.
Wild Star: Under the Stars Book 3 Page 17