by Chelle Bliss
Derek tipped his beer in my direction and watched me as he raised it to his lips. “Why aren’t you taken?” he asked from behind the brown bottle.
I shrugged. “Looking for the right one.” The martini sloshed the glass as I brought it to my lips too quickly. One drink and a shot and I didn’t give a fuck that some of it splashed on my breasts. Tears stung my eyes as I gulped the martini and hoped that it would put my brain in a temporary haze. The feel of a hand touching my breast caused me to jerk, sending the last bit of raspberry heaven to the floor. “What the fuck?” I said, looking down to see Derek’s hand move away from my breast.
“Sorry.” He grinned. “Just thought I’d help you with that little spill.” He sucked on his fingers as he stared at my chest.
I snarled as I put my face close to his. “No matter how drunk I am, you don’t touch me without asking. Am I clear?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, raising his hand to salute me.
What a cocksucker. Poking him in the chest, I spoke very slowly. “I mean it, smartass. Do. Not. Touch. Me.” Turning away, I looked in the mirror and saw the red dress still sitting on City’s lap, and my fingernails dug into the wooden bar.
“Okay, Suzy. Let me make it up to you, since I made you spill your drink. Let me buy you another?”
I closed my eyes, rubbing the bridge of my nose, before turning my attention back to Derek. “I don’t think so, Derek. Will you just take me home?”
“One more, Suzy. I swear I’ll keep my hands to myself. I don’t want the night to end like this. Please.”
I studied his face, and he looked genuine, with a sad smile and pleading eyes. I held up my index finger to him. “One more and then I want to go.”
“Excellent.” He raised his hand in the air and snapped his fingers, grabbing the attention of the bartender.
As I leaned against the bar, my eyes kept wandering back to the mirror. The third martini was easier to drink; my legs felt weak and the bar became necessary to keep me from tipping over. Derek chattered in my ear and kept his distance as we polished off our third drinks.
“Ready?” he asked as he set the empty bottle on the counter.
“Are you okay to drive?” I asked. I may be drunk, but I knew enough to ask.
“Yeah, I can handle more than three beers, babe.”
Hearing the word “babe” come out his mouth when he spoke made me want to throw up on his shoes. Everything about him made me crazy, and I knew that I’d never go on another date with Derek. On paper he seemed right, but in person he was a creepy mess that revolted me and did nothing for my libido.
“Okay, let’s go.” I grabbed my purse and walked on unsteady legs toward the door, leaving Derek to walk behind me.
“You want to hold my hand?”
“Why?” I stopped and turned to face him, almost falling over. I’d had too much to drink and didn’t realize it until now.
“Because you’re walking funny. Just hold on to my arm until we get to the car.” He held out his hand and waited for me to take it.
He didn’t grin or smile, and I believed he was sincere in his offer. Clearly the alcohol had made my brain fuzzy. I didn’t hold his hand, but snaked my arm through his and leaned on his body as I swayed through the parking lot, thankful when we made it to his car.
Leaning against the car, I waited for him to open the door. I closed my eyes and soaked in the feel of the cool air against my warm, clammy skin. The air inside the club had felt stagnant. My anger and hurt over City made my body feel flushed and caused me to sweat. I had done this. I pushed City away. I had been an idiot, and I knew it when I saw him with her in his arms.
Derek’s lips were on mine before I could react. I pushed at him, hitting his chest as he trapped me between him and the car. My arms felt like jelly, and I couldn’t gauge how hard I was hitting him as the beat of my heart filled my ears. “Stop,” I mumbled between breaks in the kiss, but he didn’t stop crushing his body against mine harder. His lips moved over my cheek to my neck as he grabbed my breast and squeezed. “Derek, stop, damn it!” I yelled, hitting him in the ribs.
“You know you want it, Suzy,” he said against my neck.
“I don’t! Stop!” I pushed against him again, but his weight was too much. I swung and connected with his face with a loud smack. My hand stung from the contact.
His face moved away from my neck, and he looked me in the eyes. He glared at me with his mouth set in a firm line. “You hit me. What the fuck? I’m just giving you what you want, baby.”
Clearly I had sent the wrong signals, or he was just a dumbass. “Get the fuck off me.”
“You’re such a prick tease in this outfit tonight. You can deny it all you want, but I know you want me.”
“I do—”
His lips were on me again before I could stop him. I struggled against him, bending my knee up to make contact with his balls, but hit nothing as his body flew backward.
City held Derek by the throat, bringing him to eye level. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size, motherfucker?” City said with a look of pure hatred.
“This has nothing to do with you, man,” Derek spat. “This is between the lady and me.” Derek clawed at City’s hands, trying to escape his grip.
City turned toward me. “He your boyfriend?” His eyes moved over my body, taking in my outfit. I shook my head, my hands gripping the car, not moving. “You want him to touch you?” He looked at Derek and back to me.
Derek’s face had turned a deep shade of red, on the verge of purple, as City’s grip increased. “No! I told him to stop!” I said. “But I work with the scumbag. Don’t hurt him.”
City growled; his chest heaved with rough breaths while deciding his next action. “Fuck,” he muttered before dropping Derek to the ground.
Derek gasped for air as he tried to stand, but collapsed on his hands and knees. Air filled my lungs, and I realized I had held my breath, waiting for City to beat the hell out of Derek before my eyes. Did he deserve it? Hell yes, but I didn’t want to witness it or deal with the aftermath.
City stood in front of me, his hands clenched at his side as he stared at me. The hard features of his face looked more pronounced by his anger. His cheeks flexed, his nostrils flaring as he studied me. “What the fuck, Suzy? I called you and you don’t fucking answer and then you’re here with this fucking prick and almost let him maul you in a parking lot.” Running his fingers through his hair, he turned and looked at Derek before returning his attention back to me.
“I’m sorr-ry.” I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t have an excuse. “I didn’t know I had to answer to you. You seemed to have your hands full inside, anyway.” I snarled as I spoke.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Brunette, red dress, almost dry-humping you on the couch. Ring any bells?” Who the fuck was he to question my actions?
“Fuck.” His arms flexed as he clenched his hands into a hard fist at his sides. “Kaylee means nothing to me.”
“Neither do I, I suppose.”
“Woman, you have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about.” He stepped closer, and my body instantly registered his nearness, moisture pooling between my legs.
I swallowed, the dryness in my mouth making it hard to move anything down my throat. “I saw your hands on her ass as she kissed you. How the hell do you explain that? It seems women have no value to you.”
“Shut your mouth, Suzy. I followed you out here because I saw you stumbling out of here with someone I didn’t know. I came here to check on you. Kaylee is no one, hear me now, no one. I didn’t come here with her or ask her to sit on my lap. I was trying to be nice to her.”
“Well, if nice means you feel her up, I’d say you were very kind to her.”
“Suzy, listen to me. I called you and asked you back out. You blew me off. What was I supposed to do? Sit home and wait for you to call?”
Breath escaped me as he closed the small space between u
s.
Tears began to stream down my cheeks as I took in the enormity of the situation. If City hadn’t stopped Derek, would I have been able to get away from him? He just saved me, and I was being a total bitch. The sob tore through my chest as I broke down. City wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. He felt so right against my body. I felt safe and comfortable with him, no matter how much we didn’t seem to fit on paper. He said nothing, but made sounds to calm me as I buried my face into the soft material of his t-shirt. My fingers found the piercing on his nipple as I toyed with it and tried to catch my breath.
“Can I take you home, sugar?” he asked with his face buried in my hair.
“Yes,” I whimpered, clinging to him like a lifeline.
Without speaking, he drew me into his arms, carrying me across the parking lot. I melted into him, resting my head against his shoulder. The thought of Kaylee still stung, but I couldn’t be mad at him anymore. He saved me from a totally fucked-up night, and for that he’d earned my forgiveness. The jostling movement as he placed my bottom on the cool seat of his bike made my stomach churn. I said nothing as he put the helmet on my head and fastened the harness against my chin. He had the right mix of pissed-off male and swoon-worthy alpha to make any girl’s heart go pitter-patter.
“Can you hold on?” he asked as he held my chin between his fingertips.
“Yes.” My tone was breathy and betrayed me with the sound of need.
He climbed on the bike, scooting his ass between my legs and gripping the handlebars. I molded my torso against his and interlaced my fingers. The usual jitters I felt anticipating the ride ahead didn’t register.
“Hold on, sugar.” He throttled the engine and took off for the short drive to my house. The cool air whipped my hair around as I nuzzled against his warm back. My mind grew blank with the movement of the bike and the roar of the engine. I allowed myself to get lost in the moment and the sensation of the vibrations from the bike—and the feel of City between my legs.
Lost in the City coma, I didn’t notice as we pulled into my development and weaved through the winding streets to my house. Maybe I’d drifted off, but I wanted to stay like this forever—wrapped around his body, in a stress-free haze of contentment. I mumbled against his shirt as he turned off the bike, placing his feet on the ground, securing it and tapping my hands. “Sugar, we’re here.”
“Mm hmm,” I said into his back before raising my head and looking through blurry eyes at my house. I sat up, letting go of his chest before wiping the drool off my lips. “Thanks, City. I don’t know what would’ve happen tonight if it weren’t for you.” I started to climb off the bike but didn’t have the energy, and plopped back against the seat with an “oomph.”
City laughed as he climbed off, pulling me off the bike, cradling me in his arms. “Can I come in?” he asked, brushing his nose against my cheek.
“Depends. You mad at me?” I asked, praying he said no.
“I’m not mad. We gotta talk, Suzy.” His eyes begged me to let him in as his brow furrowed.
“Okay.” I rested my head against his hard chest and rubbed my palm against his pec.
I handed him the keys as we approached the door. Anger was no longer visible, but the tilted grin I’d grown accustomed to had vanished. He kicked off his boots before he walked across my white carpet, placing me on the couch. The couch dipped from his weight, but I couldn’t look him in the eye. I fiddled with my fingers as the silence became deafening. The alcohol-induced haze had started to wear off, and I felt a small buzz.
“Why the hell didn’t you call me today? I thought we made plans. What the fuck did I do wrong?” His words made me cringe; sadness was evident in his voice.
“I wanted to put distance between us. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I shook my head, meeting his eyes.
“Distance? What for?” His eyebrows drew together as the skin wrinkled in between.
“I just don’t think we’ll work out.” I shrugged.
“Woman, you think too damn much, and it’s fucked up. Blew my ass off for that douchebag tonight, and how’d that shit turn out for you?” He paused before continuing. “What makes you think we don’t have a shot?”
I looked away from him, unable to look him in the eyes. “We’re just so different, City. I don’t see a future between us, and at my age, I’m looking forward. I don’t live life by the seat of my pants like you. We have nothing in common and we run in different worlds.” Water clouded my vision as I stared at the wall across the room. I blinked, trying to clear the tears from my eyes.
Sighing, he reached for my face, touching my cheek and pulling my face in his directions. “Look at me, sugar.” His eyes moved around my face. “I don’t know how you think I live, and you sure as hell don’t know who I am. We’re getting to know each other, but you shut me out without a reason. You said it yourself, Sophia and Kayden are opposites but they work. Why couldn’t we?”
I drew in a shaky breath, his words making my heart ache. “I know I said that, but I don’t know, City.”
“What don’t you know? Talk to me.” His hand closed over my fist in my lap as he stroked his thumb across my sensitive skin.
“I like you a lot. So much that it scares me, and I don’t know if I could deal with the heartbreak when you walk out of my life.” A tear slid down my cheek as I spoke.
“You never gave us a chance to see if we could work.” His finger slid across my skin, wiping the tear away.
“You’re not a one-woman man. I could tell that about you, and I don’t work that way. I don’t want to share you.”
“Suzy, I’m not a whore. Since I met you last week I haven’t been with anyone else. I don’t want anyone else, just you.”
“I’d like to believe that, but you looked a little too cozy with Karen tonight.”
“Kaylee, not Karen. I’ll be totally honest with you about her. I had sex with her twice in my life. Not my proudest moment, but she offered and I accepted. She wants to be my girlfriend, and I’ve told her no. I’m very clear with her that she and I are nothing and never will be. Should I have pushed her ass on the floor when she sat on my lap?”
“No, I guess not.” I didn’t want to think about the visual I had of another woman sitting on him and fawning.
“I wanted to be with you tonight. You blew me off. We had such a nice time last night, and as soon as I brought you home, you shut down.”
“I don’t know, City,” I said.
“Joey.”
“Joey, I watched Kayden and Sophia all night. They reminded me of what I want someday. I want someone that’s going to love me and be mine alone. I want to be important to someone,” I said, staring into his eyes without blinking, worried another tear would slip down my cheek.
“It’s what everyone wants—”
“Let me finish.” I shook my head. “I like you, Joey. No one has ever made me feel the way you do, but I can’t risk falling for you. I can’t have my heart broken.” I bit my lip, trying to focus on pain instead of sadness. I didn’t want tears to flow freely. “I think it’s best if we stop now. The time we’ve spent together has been amazing, but I can’t do it anymore. I can’t lie to myself.”
“May I speak now?” He smiled at me, but it was a sad smile.
“Yes.”
“Do you think I’m incapable of love?” He stared at me, waiting for an answer, his mouth set in a firm line.
“No, I just don’t think it’s who you are now, and I can’t wait around for that part of you. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”
“Suzette.” Formal names always meant something serious. “I never allowed myself to think of a future with anyone, but last night I saw a world of possibilities. I realized what I was missing out on—I want what Kayden and Sophia have.” He squeezed my fingers, and I watched his thumb rub the back of my hand. “Look at me. I’ve never allowed myself to get close to anyone in years, but your innocence and sweetness have pierced my heart.”
“Oh,” I said, my eyes growing wide with surprise.
“I didn’t want to rush into anything with you. I don’t want to ruin anything, but you need to understand where I’m coming from. You need to know my past.” His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed before continuing. “I have been in love before. I had a fiancée and I thought my entire life was made. Plans don’t always work out exactly as we think.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, breaking a hand free from his grip, touching his cheek, running my thumb across the rough stubble.
“It was a long time ago. We were in college and her name was Joni. We were high school sweethearts.” He closed his eyes, and I could see the pain on his beautiful features. “I loved her more than anything in the world, and she was ripped from my life.”
My heart skipped with the thought that anyone could break his heart.
“A fucking drunk driver hit her on her way home from work and she was killed instantly.” He hung his head, hiding his face from my view. I could only imagine the pain that he’d felt losing his love that day in such a brutal manner. “I’ve never allowed myself to get that close to anyone after she died. It fuckin’ wrecked me, and I didn’t know if I’d ever fully heal.”
“I’m sorry, Joey.” I kissed his cheek, allowing him the time to gather his thoughts and hide a small part of himself.
His eyes rose to meet mine. “You remind me a lot of Joni…your kindness and playful nature. It’s infectious. You two would’ve been good friends. She was my light, and I couldn’t remember life without her until the day she died. I thought the heartbreak would kill me, Suzy. I’ve been so scared to open myself to anyone again, but you made me want to try. Don’t shut me out. I can’t promise forever, yet, but I want you to be mine, Suzy.”
My breath caught. “What do you mean?”
“Woman, I swear sometimes I have to spell shit out to you. For a smart girl, sometimes you amaze me.” He chuckled. “I want you to be my girlfriend. Mine and only mine. I’d planned to ask you tonight before you blew me off.”
Yes, yes, yes! “What about you?” I asked. Would he see other girls? My heart couldn’t take that.