Lord help me.
There was no way he wouldn’t be an amazing lover, giving and controlling in equal measure. Surely, he wouldn’t be like any lover I’d ever had. Which, by the way, I could’ve counted on one hand.
He also wasn’t wrong about the cobwebs.
A plethora of them blanketed my most private parts.
“You need to quiet your racing mind,” Aiken interrupted my brewing panic.
“Is it that obvious?”
“Still your crazy head.”
“Gah, I’m a grown woman who is nervous as hell about you walking me to the door.”
He gave me a quick side glance. “Richards, there’s no walking you to the door. I’m walking you right in the door and straight up to your bedroom, where I’m going to take your dress off slowly. Very slowly. Then I’m going to spend some time staring at your gorgeous body in only a bra and, hopefully, a thong, from what I can tell, before I take those off too and lay you down on the bed and…”
“Oh…”
“Unless you’re not ready, in which case, I’ll give you a little peck good night at the back door after you let Smitty out.”
I swallowed twice—the first time was pure fear, the second was one hundred percent lust.
“No, I’m ready.”
He maneuvered his truck in front of his house and calmly walked around the front to open my passenger door. With my hand in his, he helped me down.
“Whoa, Claire, you’re shaking like a leaf.” He gathered me in his arms and squeezed me tight.
My eyelids fell shut. “I’m fine.” It was spoken softly and a lie.
“Shhh.” His lips grazed my forehead. “I was mostly kidding about stripping you down. I want to, but it’s not required.”
My head tilted, and I found his gaze. “I want that. I meant it. It’s been a while. A while for all that. A while since I’ve had such an enjoyable night. All of it. I’m overwhelmed.”
He bent, his lips meeting mine, mine answering his unspoken request to open up. Our mouths moved in sync. His tongue entered my mouth, brushing against mine, one stroke, two…I lost count. Our chests beat together, air in and out to the same tune. My hand found his rear, and his palm cupped mine.
This was how we stayed for a while, on our street, in plain view for anyone to witness. There was no rushing, no dismissing what we were doing.
“Claire.” My name was a whisper from his throat. “That’s what I want, you to be relaxed, happy, do things you haven’t done in a long time.”
Nodding against his chest, I said, “Let’s go inside.”
He took my hand and walked me down my driveway, snatched my key, and opened the door, holding it open for Smitty, ushering him outside, rushing him through his business, before kicking the door closed and stealing me upstairs.
“We’ll take it slow. When it’s too much, you just say so.” His hand slid around the back of my neck, gathering my mouth close to his. His words tickled my lips, his scruff burned my chin, his breath warmed my cheek.
His mouth devoured mine, while his other hand—the one that wasn’t holding on to my neck like his life depended on it—unzipped my dress. A wisp of black fabric pooled at my feet, surrounding my strappy heels.
“Gorgeous,” he muttered, his rougher-than-I’d-ever-experienced hand now coursing down my side, catching on my bra for a moment or three.
He didn’t wait…he pulled the top of my bra down with his teeth and nipped and sucked. A feverish sensation burned through my veins.
With my head thrown back, eyes closed, I felt Aiken settle my back against the wall. The cool plaster was a welcome relief against my flaming skin.
He worked his way to my other breast, unhooking my bra and throwing it on the floor along the way. The first one he assaulted was tender and ripe from his loving when he started in on the other.
Then I heard the thud of his shoes—nicer brown boots, not shitkickers—and I looked down.
He was on his knees, still in his jeans, slipping my thong down my legs, staring at the apex of my thighs like it was better than Sunday football.
He inhaled, running his face up the length of my leg. “Can’t lie. Been thinking about this for a long, long time. Really been thinking about what it would feel like, taste like…”
His lips grazed my calf on their descent, next my ankle, then my ankle lifted, and my poor excuse for underwear was gone.
His palm caressed my thigh, making its way to between my legs, where I was primed and ready. Embarrassment flooded me like a young girl about to give up her virginity. My only excuse was it had been a while.
“I don’t shave it all…or wax, or whatever you may be used to.”
“You’re perfect.” He traced my landing strip with a finger. Up and down, down and up, bringing my every single sense to life. Nothing remained dormant. It was a foreign feeling.
One finger slipped inside me, then another. His tongue found all of my warm and long-unfound spots.
I’d been married, given birth, and yet, I’d never felt this intimate with anyone.
Technically, I shouldn’t have been embarrassed or ashamed.
My mind swirled with lust. I was feeling. Feeling anything I damn well pleased. For the first time in a very long time. It was mind-blowing.
This guy…where did he come from? Sensitive, commanding, sweet, mature beyond his age—he was perfect.
Ripples of sensation began to flow up my spine. My legs tingled, and my hand found its way to the top of his head, curling in his hair, keeping his face where it was planted.
When did I become a wanton fool?
Apparently, I didn’t mind.
My climax washed over me in waves, not stopping until he slowed his pace. His mouth back on mine, he tasted like me, and I couldn’t get over the fact that I liked it. My head raced to keep up with my body, which was now on its back, flat on top of my bed.
Aiken was in front of me, shedding his clothes, pulling a condom from his pocket, guiding it onto his length in mere seconds, before he was back on top of me. He kissed me foolish, his length rubbing against my softness, until he asked, “Is it okay?”
I nodded, and he was inside me. All the way inside me.
A coffee and a few glasses of wine, and he was inside my body.
Maybe even inside my heart.
He slid slowly in and out of me, never taking his eyes off mine.
I felt my eyelids close. He thumbed my cheek. “Stay with me.”
I did, not wanting to miss a second of this.
He picked up the pace, his one hand grasping my hip, the other holding his weight off of me.
The ripples came back in earnest. Aiken took long, slow, drawn-out pulls, and I watched his face savor each one. It was a high like I’d never felt before.
I was literally on cloud nine.
We fell together, pleasure radiating off both of us, until we fell into a heap, intertwined, body parts tangled on top of my covers.
“Best night ever,” I mumbled.
“Oh, there’s more. Let me take care of this condom, be right back. Remember, I’m young enough to be your student. I can go all night long.” He winked, smirked, and disappeared into my bathroom.
Sorry not sorry, but a small smile covered my face.
I woke the next morning, my body aching, my muscles sore, as though I’d run a half-marathon.
Nope, I’d only had sex multiple times with my gorgeous neighbor.
I’d never felt more alive.
As soon as the feeling came to me, shame rained down over me.
Abby was dead, and I was reveling in some post-sex haze.
“Morning.” The hot-blooded man next to me stirred, his head propped up on his palm, his elbow digging into the pillow.
As I turned on my side, all the words got stuck in my throat. Nothing came out.
“Hey.” He brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. “Last night was incredible,” he said.
I only nodded.
�
��I don’t know what’s happening,” he said. “You, all of this, it’s taking me by surprise, but I like it.”
“Me too.” It came out hushed like a secret.
A lone tear fell down my cheek. We watched it plop on the pillow like a raindrop.
“What’s wrong?”
My eyes closed, and I allowed myself to feel him caress my arm—up and down and back up again.
“I’m good,” was all I was able to push out of my mouth. “Overwhelmed. Abby’s not here, and all of a sudden, this feels wrong.”
His lips found my temple. “It’s not, Claire. You’re alive, and for the rest of my life, I’ll be sorry for your loss. But that doesn’t mean you can’t live.”
He brought me even closer and nuzzled my cheek to his chest, his chin on the top of my head, his skin wet from my tears. He continued to hold me, not trying to talk me out of my fit, only holding me tight.
Later, he snuck away and returned with coffee, propping me up on pillows and burrowing his arm back underneath me.
“Thanks for a great night,” I told him, and I meant it.
“Better than great. All of it. Every second. From the moment I picked you up.”
“It was. The best,” I admitted.
That didn’t mean I was absolved from guilt.
Claire
“Wanna go for a boat ride?” Aiken hollered over the fence when I returned from my run.
He’d promised to leave me alone for the day…
“I thought you said you were going to let me get stuff done today?”
“I changed my mind. I let you run, have some time to your thoughts. Now I want to go on a boat ride. With you.”
“A boat ride? What the heck? Where?”
“I’ll show you…go get changed. We’ll take Smitty. Hurry.” He winked.
With my head cocked, hand on my hip, I tried to look formidable.
“It’s Sunday. You can get stuff done on Monday when you go to your office. Let’s go have fun.”
Sweat dripped down my cleavage and the backs of my knees. “I need a shower, and I have to grade papers.”
“Bring ’em. Come on, the clock’s ticking.”
Aiken sat on his back stoop, coffee mug next to his thigh, no shirt on, those beat-up flip-flops on his feet. Lord, help me, he was no match for my wavering mind. Not to mention my quickening libido.
Oh, and his running shorts sat low on his hips. I was a goner.
“You have an answer for everything.” I leaned against my side of the fence, still pretending to put up a fight. I’d capitulated moments ago.
“You’re not changed…either.”
He jumped up, snatching his mug. “Race ya.” And he disappeared into his house.
Smitty lapped at his water bowl as soon as we made it inside, and I grabbed a cold water from the fridge.
“Yep, my sentiments exactly. Gotta cool off after seeing that guy.”
Before I struck up an entire conversation with my dog, I stripped while walking up the stairs and jumped in the shower.
“Boo—”
“Eeek.” I jumped two feet in the air while toweling off. “Holy shit, Aiken, you scared me.”
“I’m ready.”
“What are you doing in here? How the hell did you get in here?” I clenched the towel tight to my chest.
“I’ve seen it all, Richards, and I like it quite a bit. No need to cover up.”
“Where did you come from?”
“The hidey key,” he said with a smirk, looking edible in a white T-shirt and khaki cargo shorts, bare feet. “You should really hide it better.”
“Tell me about it. Is this a Midwestern thing? Using other people’s hidden keys?”
“Nope, there we just walk in. No one bothers to lock their door.”
“Well, here we lock our doors for a reason.”
“Noted. Now, are you almost ready?” He sloughed off my protest, and I didn’t care enough to argue. I hadn’t had someone check on me for a long time.
“Do I look ready? Let me clue you in, buddy, it takes a while to get this,” I flung my free hand up and down my body, “ready.”
“I doubt that. Come on, I want to go.”
“Go wait with Smitty.”
I shooed him out, partially dried my hair in messy waves, put on some makeup and lip gloss, shimmied into jean shorts and a tank, grabbed flip-flops, and ran down the steps like a kid on Christmas morning. And thinking that didn’t even bother me.
Settled in his pickup truck, Smitty in the backseat, I asked, “Where are we heading?”
“Bald Eagle State Park.”
“Oh, that’s right, they have boat rentals there. Abby went once for a birthday party. Cried the whole time because her new light-up shoes got wet.”
“That’s the worst. Legitimately. No one wants their new shoes to get wet…they freaking smell forever, then, especially the light-up variety.”
“Glad to see you understand light-up shoes.”
“All about the shoes.”
“I can tell, especially when you wear those shitkickers.”
He gave me a deep laugh, one that felt exclusive to me, and I dreamed of ways to make him do it again.
I should’ve felt bad, laughing with Aiken, chatting about Abby so nonchalantly, but it felt the exact opposite. Refreshing.
“Here we are.” He parked at the far end of the lot and opened the door for Smitty, letting him jump out of the cab before leashing him. I jumped down on my own and looked up at the sky.
“Gorgeous.”
“Oh, that you are…”
“Stop.” I faux-punched him in the bicep, and he pulled me against him, placing a small chaste kiss on my nose.
“Come on.” He took my hand in his and kept the leash in the other.
“Are you stealing my dog?”
“Allow me to let you in on a secret…when a man has a good thing, he never leaves. Hence, Smitty is yours.”
“That’s not what my ex said.”
“Well, he’s not a man. He’s a pussy.”
My mouth opened.
“Don’t even think about arguing with me.”
Aiken walked up to a small shed and gave his name, and soon we were sailing away in a pontoon boat.
“So, I was a sure thing when you asked me on a boat ride?”
“Definitely. I called as soon as I beat you back from a run. You really have to work on your speed.”
“You better behave, or I’m going to push you overboard.”
“You couldn’t move me if you tried.”
That was pretty much how we spent the next hour, Smitty with two paws on the back bench looking out at the water, and Aiken and I joking, making easy conversation.
On the way back toward the boathouse, I asked Aiken about his mom.
“This is all hearsay,” he explained. “Bruce, the dairy farmer, said my mom had to be bailed out of jail a few times during college for some sort of protest. Shortly after’s when she got involved with the church. That’s when she must’ve met my dad.”
“At the Bible study?”
He nodded.
“Fast-forward…my grandparents passed away a while back, but before they did, they seemed relieved that my mom had left. Again, according to Bruce. No one knew where she’d gone, but my grandparents didn’t seem too bothered.”
“Hope you find her. I really do…I wonder if she had a nickname or something. Maybe she’s on Facebook with a nickname?”
“I don’t know. I finished with the dairy farm’s site, but I can ask Bruce.”
“If she went to the college, maybe they have some records. You should go by the registrar’s office.”
“That’s not a bad idea, and guess what? I can take my hot professor for lunch when I do.”
“Your hot professor?”
“Damn straight. You better not be anyone else’s hottie teacher.”
“Oh God, you’re making me regret this day.”
“Nah...by the way, those sh
orts do things to your legs. Makes my mind wander.”
I thought the same of his light hair reflecting the sunlight, his skin a deep bronze.
After we docked the boat, he pulled me in tight. “Wasn’t this nice? You shouldn’t spend all day Sunday locked up with your papers.”
“It was nice, but when we get back, I really have to work.”
“Can we make out at your back door?”
He didn’t give me a chance to answer. His lips met mine in a closemouthed kiss, leaving me wanting more.
The whole car ride back home, I regretted saying I had work to do.
“Well, now you can go inside and let your mind wander away,” I said as we pulled up in front of our houses. “My legs and I are going to get comfy in my chair with a glass of wine and a million papers waiting to be graded.”
It was an extremely poor attempt at flirting.
Obviously, I needed practice, because Aiken let me do just what I said I was going to do.
Aiken
Coming out of the registrar’s office, I pulled my cap low on my forehead, needing a few minutes to digest what I’d learned. My brain felt like one of those pinball machines—a million thoughts zigzagging through my mess of a head.
My mom hadn’t finished school. She’d also been dismissed for disturbing the peace more than once, until finally they refused to reinstate her as a student.
All it took were a few flashes of my farm-boy baby blues, and the woman behind the desk spilled my mom’s file in front of me. Arrested outside an African-American studies program, removed from a sit-in during a football game, caught harassing people at a Greek Life event. My momma had been a wild one—certainly not the church-going, God-loving woman my dad made her out to be.
I wondered if he knew she was a bona fide badass with the reputation to back it up. I couldn’t seem to reconcile what I’d learned with the little I remembered and from what my dad told me.
By the time I walked across the quad to the Frable building, I narrowly managed to shove it all out of mind. My woman was waiting for me on the other side of the door, and damn, if that didn’t feel fucking great. I hadn’t expected to get sidetracked from my quest for my mom when I’d moved here, but I wasn’t going to argue with fate.
Heart Stronger Page 9