“It’s my decision.”
Savannah stepped past her and laid the card on the tombstone.
“You’re right, Lilly. These are your choices to make. But I think you’re also choosing to go it alone. It doesn’t have to be that way. There are people like me who want to help you.”
Savannah tightened her scarf as the wind picked up, and turned, the helpless resignation in her eyes tearing a hole in Lilly’s soul. Lilly picked up the card and tucked it in her pocket.
Lilly wasn’t sure if it was the appearance of Savannah or the weeks she’d spent mulling over the pregnancy, but she found herself driving to Kadin’s office. Replaying her meeting with Savannah consumed her thoughts, and too soon for comfort, she was parked in front of his medical building.
There’d been an announcement in the press two days ago about the questioning of Dr. Drake Maguire concerning his possible involvement in the rapes of several local women. Her ob-gyn, Melanie Wells, encouraged Lilly to find another practice. Since Drake was free, she thought it better for Lilly’s peace of mind to avoid any possible confrontation at the office. Why was Lilly’s life so affected when Drake was the criminal? Lilly hoped Kadin would be in disagreement with his partner and refuse to turn her away. She didn’t know if she could face another person, a stranger, knowing any of these details.
Lilly stomped the snow from her shoes as she entered. She headed toward the elevator and pressed the button for Kadin’s floor. According to Nathan, Drake had shaken his police tail and disappeared, likely left the city. She had called the OB unit and learned Melanie was there and had two women ready to deliver. With Melanie tied up for hours, she should be unable to interrupt this visit Lilly had been putting off with Kadin. Still, Lilly’s stomach flopped nervously. And the baby echoed her trepidation.
There was also this ache within her, a desperation to connect with him, maybe to connect with anyone. Kadin was the only one, other than Dana, who knew her whole story. She’d been dreaming of Gabe, her mysterious ER visitor, over the last several nights. Never having been exposed to a religious upbringing, the whole concept of prayer was foreign to her.
Is there really a God who created all there was and ever would be? Does this God care for me, as an individual? Doesn’t he have more important affairs: war, famine, and disease? What is my life, really, to him in the end? What is worth praying over? A parking spot? A cancer diagnosis? Needing a kidney?
A child conceived during a sexual assault?
How do I say the words? What are the right words?
As she entered Kadin’s medical office, Lilly found the reception area empty. The door automatically closed behind her, hitting her in the back and nudging her forward. She stood there, not knowing how many minutes passed, when Kadin walked through the lobby with several patient files in his hands. His mouth gaped open.
Chapter 30
KADIN FELT UNSURE about trusting Detective Long. On Christmas Eve, there had been a news report, albeit short and not the leading story, that Drake had been questioned in relation to the string of rapes that had plagued their city. It likely wasn’t the leading story because they didn’t have any photos of Drake in handcuffs, and no one could find him.
This announcement sent seismic ripples through the office their next business day. He’d been forced to place Drake on a paid leave of absence. Several of Drake’s patients cancelled their appointments, and the remaining few Kadin volunteered to work into his schedule as Melanie had agreed to cover Drake’s call that night.
He was reviewing the files of several of Drake’s patients he’d seen that day since he hadn’t had a lot of time to thoroughly read their histories. As he headed to the main reception area to make copies, Kadin saw Lilly standing there, her hands deep within her black overcoat, a green-and-red plaid scarf wrapped around her throat.
“I thought maybe you could take a look at the baby,” she said, her voice quiet and unsure.
His heart stopped. “Yes, absolutely, follow me.”
She did as instructed, entering a small room with a sonogram machine. She took off her coat and placed it on a nearby chair. He patted the table, and the waxed paper rustled under his touch.
“How have you been? I’ve been trying to call you.” He pulled the machine closer to the bed and powered it up.
“I know.” She hoisted herself up, pulling the pillow down to support her neck. “I was scared to come see you.”
“Why?”
“How’s the practice been?” she asked in avoidance.
“You mean in the wake of the news story about Drake?”
Lilly nodded as Kadin eased her shirt up. He rubbed his hands together for several seconds, the friction warming them before he placed them on her belly. “I just want to see if I can feel the position of the baby.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
He paused. “Right now, Drake’s MIA. No one has seen or heard from him. A few patients have called to say they’re leaving the practice. At this point, most are rescheduling with Melanie or me. We’ve talked about bringing in an interim person for the short term.” Kadin pushed one side of her abdomen in, feeling with his free hand on the other side. There seemed to be an odd distribution of lumps and bumps.
“You really don’t know where he is?”
“Hopefully the police are keeping tabs on him. I’m going to measure your fundal height.” Taking a tape measure from his pocket, he felt for the top edge of her uterus and laid the paper strip vertically down, to the top of her pubic bone. “Were your cycles regular before?”
“Yes, why?”
“Since we know the baby was conceived on September 3, you should be about twenty weeks. You’re measuring quite a bit larger than that. First pregnancy, right?”
“Yes.”
“Let’s see what we have.”
Kadin squeezed several circles of heated gel over her abdomen. Despite the warmth, he could see her flesh raised in small moguls. Kadin angled the screen toward her, moving the transducer with practiced maneuvers over the length of her belly. Even though he knew Lilly was not well versed at reading sonograms, he felt her still as the images came up.
“Lilly, there are twins.”
She made several attempts to speak, the words caught in her throat. Kadin continued in quiet study, taking measurements and photos. “Looks like they’re fraternal. Do twins run in your family?”
“No,” she choked, tears streamed and collected in small pools in her ears. “What about Drake’s family?”
Kadin left the question unanswered as his own thoughts, fatigued from the day, struggled to come up with something comforting to say.
“They’re a bit underweight. Heart rates are good. Do you want to know the sex?”
He was stunned when she reached up and grabbed his wrist. For several months he’d sensed that she’d yearned for his help, but fear had kept her silent and he’d prayed that something would bridge the divide between them. Was this the moment when she would finally feel free to come to him and lay her burdens at his feet?
Would he be enough to meet those needs?
“Kadin, please. I’m so freaked out! I need you to say something not medical!”
He eased his hand from her grip and set the transducer down, holding her hand within his. “Tell me what you want me to do. I’ll do anything.”
“The visitor I had …”
“In the ER?”
“Yes …”
“What?”
“He said …” she gulped. The apprehension that widened her eyes caused his heart to skip beats. Could she trust him with the thoughts that plagued her at night? Would she let him into that dark place?
“Pray for me.”
Racking sobs seized her. She put her hands over her face and pressed the bottoms of her palms into her eyes. Kadin placed his hand over her stomach, forgetting the thin coat of transducer gel was still in place. He leaned over her and pulled her to his chest, closing his eyes. He tried to steady her sha
king, pressing her to his chest and rubbing his thumb in calming circles over her back. He swallowed heavily.
“Heavenly Father, I come to you on behalf of Lilly and these babies.” Her shaking worsened. “First, I ask that she know you in a real way. That she is assured of your love for her and that she know there is nothing left for her to do because you already surrendered your Son to save her. We need your help. Please provide peace for Lilly and clear thinking about these babies …”
Lilly pushed up and jumped off the table, grabbing a nearby towel to clean herself. “Kadin …”
He neared her. “Lilly, don’t fight me,” and though she resisted at first, she allowed him to pull her close. He ran his fingers through her hair, his fingers catching in the windblown tangles. She buried her face against his chest. “We’re going to figure it out. I want you to come and stay with me.”
She shook her head. “I can’t do it.”
“We have time.”
She pushed away from him.
“I need you to take the babies.”
“Lilly, I can’t. I wouldn’t. And besides, you’re too far along.”
“No, I mean I need you to find a home for them,” she said as she backhanded the tears off her cheeks. “Someone to adopt them. Someone I don’t even know. I need to hide them, or Drake will kill them. I can’t deliver here, or any hospital.”
“All right, we can look into it. But Lilly, the risks are too high to have them anywhere but a hospital.”
“No, Kadin, I mean it! If you don’t promise these things to me now, I’m leaving, and you won’t find me. He’s killed every baby.”
His stomach tore at his own indecision. He wanted her safe, but her request could mean death for all three.
“Let’s just wait and see.”
“Promise me, or you’ll never hear from me again!”
Chapter 31
January 2
THE CHRISTMAS AND New Year’s holidays had slowed DNA results on Drake Maguire. But that was the least of Nathan’s issues, as it seemed Drake had left the city and no one could locate him. He hadn’t used a credit card, made an ATM withdrawal, or bought groceries as near as anyone could tell. No plane or bus tickets had been purchased in his name, even though his car remained parked outside his residence. To Nathan, that meant that he must have had cash stored up somewhere in the event he had to flee after an accusation. Nathan hoped this wouldn’t top the list of his unforgivables.
Letting a serial rapist walk free.
He and Brett were parked in front of Jacqueline Randall’s home. She’d been difficult to get a hold of. When their frequent calls broke through, the earliest she’d agreed to see them was after the holidays. She insisted they come after dinner.
Brett had been right on every account. The screen door was fixed. Alternating white-and-green Christmas lights hung on the eaves, and a blanket of snow lay over the cut lawn. The front window framed a pine tree, decorated with multicolored bulbs and silver tinsel. Faux snow frosted the inside edges of the panes of glass. The driveway and walk were shoveled.
“Why are we really here, Nathan? She doesn’t remember anything. The only evidence we have from her that will help us in this case is the semen sample.”
“You never know what might happen over time. We never did a follow-up interview from her inventory.”
“I told you Grandma would put those boys to work,” Brett said as they walked up the path. “Silent Night” played through the house as Nathan pressed the doorbell.
Jacqueline came to the door dressed in a bathrobe. She was emaciated, her eyes sunken into the dark moons of her lower eyelids. She stepped aside without saying a word and motioned them in. The house still reeked of smoke. Brett sputtered a few times, covering his mouth with his forearm. She took a chair at the kitchen table, and they followed suit; oppressive stillness was thick in the home.
“Where are your children?” Brett asked.
Jacqueline’s hand shook as she took a cigarette from the cellophane-wrapped package. “My dead husband’s mother took them in. I just couldn’t do it anymore.”
“Are you seeing that counselor?” Nathan asked.
Lighting the end, she took a long breath and slowly exhaled the smoke. She trembled as she pulled at the sleeve to her robe, exposing the white gauze dressing that was wrapped around her wrist. Nathan reached out to touch it.
“Jacqueline, did you hurt yourself?” Her lips quivered around the filter. “When?”
The words came in a whisper. “A couple of days ago.”
Nathan wondered if this was the cause of her delay in seeing them. She hadn’t figured on being here.
“Is your mom still coming by?” Brett asked.
“She’s staying with me now. It’s the only way they would let me come home.”
“Where is she?”
“Since she knew you’d be here, she went to get groceries.”
“We’ll be sure to stay until she gets back.” Brett stood to get her a glass of water from the sink.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry things are so tough.” Nathan placed his hand over the one that rested on the table, her skin dry and coarse.
“There was a story on the news that you arrested someone.” She took another drag; the end lit up like slow-burning lava.
Brett set the glass beside her. “We questioned someone but didn’t arrest him.”
“Why not?”
Brett remained quiet and let Nathan lead the interview.
“That’s partly why we’re here. We need to gather more evidence.”
“But you got his DNA, right?”
“Yes, but the more evidence we have, the stronger our case will be. Have you ever been to Sage Medical Center for treatment?”
“No, but I see a couple of doctors there.”
“Your gynecologist?”
“No. The kids’ pediatrician and the psychiatrist I’m supposed to follow up with.”
“Did you deliver any of your kids at that hospital?”
“No, they were all born out of state.”
“Which state?”
“Nevada. I moved here several years ago.”
“Do you have any family still in Nevada?”
“No.”
“What about your father?”
Jacqueline swallowed hard; cigarette ashes fell onto the table. “My father is dead.”
“How?” Brett brushed the ashes from the table into a yellow molded ashtray made by a child’s small hands.
“He killed himself.”
Brett placed the dish onto the table. “Do you have any siblings?”
“I had a sister, but she was killed when I was in high school.”
Nathan wanted to escape this woman’s pain. Why was it that some lives were plagued by tragedy?
“Jacqueline, I know talking about these things is very hard, but can you tell me what happened to your sister?”
“Kate was raped and murdered,” she said, an ironic grin spreading over her face.
Even Brett, who was rarely overwhelmed with emotion, looked down and away. Her sorrow was piercing.
“Did they catch who did it?” Nathan asked.
“He’s in jail. At least he’s supposed to be unless they paroled him.”
“What’s his name?”
“Drew Stipman.”
Nathan met Brett’s gaze as he looked up.
Stipman?
“Did you know Drew’s family?”
“They were our neighbors.”
“What was his mother’s name?”
“Meryl?”
“Does Drew have a brother?”
“Yes.”
“What’s his name?”
“Drake. Drake Stipman.”
Nathan’s inner cop threw up a red flag. His thoughts scurried at the implications.
Jacqueline’s mother returned shortly after this revelation. Nathan’s and Brett’s shoes slipped on the ice as they hurried to Brett’s vehicle. Climbing in, they sla
mmed the doors. Brett turned the vehicle on and cranked up the heat.
“Is it possible he changed his name?” Brett asked as he turned the ignition.
“We need to check. Mommy Dearest refused to provide a picture or name. Now we know why.”
“It’s got to be Drake. Everything is falling into place. Now it makes more sense to me why he picked her, some odd obsession with this family. We need to get on the phone with Nevada State Police ASAP.” Brett pulled away from the curb and fishtailed on the tight turn.
Nathan received a text. The chief wanted them in his office.
That was never good. The chief didn’t like to stay late.
“What is it?” Brett asked.
“We need to get back. Chief Anson wants a meeting.”
“Holy—”
“Don’t say it.”
The station was not far from Jacqueline’s home. Snow had begun to fall in fat, heavy flakes that covered the recently brushed steps of the station house. They made their way to the chief’s office. He was initially on the phone but disconnected when he saw them outside his door. He waved them forward.
“We’ve got some issues.” He sat down and moved several papers off to one side as Nathan and Brett took chairs.
“What are those?” Nathan asked, trying to stem the gurgling in his gut. He reached inside his suit pocket. He’d left his antacids in his overcoat.
“Our prime suspect, Dr. Maguire, has re-emerged.”
“Where’s he been?”
“From what I can tell, meeting with a sleazy, high–priced defense lawyer.”
“Not surprising,” Nathan said.
“What is interesting is that he’s filing a restraining order against Dr. Reeves.”
“What!” Nathan started to come up out of his seat. Brett reached across and grabbed Nathan’s arm to keep him in the chair.
“I have it here. I’m going to need you to serve her with it.”
“You can’t expect me to explain that insanity to her,” Nathan protested.
“It’s a temporary order, but on the emergency track. She’ll have to appear in court tomorrow.”
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