by A. C. Wilson
“Maybe we should go, Nora. I promised I’d pick up the girls as soon as I could.” Andy got up from her chair and reached for her coat. Nora didn’t say anything as she did the same. With a couple more hugs and soft goodbyes along with a promise to bring Bailey to dinner, Andy and Nora were gone. Blake watched them go from the doorway. Rayne maintained her position from beside the door.
Blake turned back to the room and they stood fairly closely together. The soft classical music played in the background. The smell of warm vanilla wafted from the warmed candles. The tension was there between them and Rayne wanted to say so many things. She nearly crumbled when Blake put his arm around her shoulders and stood beside her.
“Thank you for not telling them.” Rayne wasn’t able to put all of her thoughts into words. Luckily she had a relationship with Blake that didn’t need them.
“You’ll get through this.” Blake said softly and Rayne couldn’t help but turn into his arms. She cried against his t-shirt as he held her tightly.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“Just so you know, I told Bailey about our relationship.” Blake’s voice broke through the brittle barrier she had tried to erect. They still stood just inside the door and Blake trapped her against him with his arm. He really was quite the specimen. He was sculpted and lean in places that would make a red blooded woman squirm in delight. Rayne didn’t see acknowledging that as betrayal to the love she and Garrett had. She would never consider trading one brother for another. That’s why Blake’s words caught her off guard. She wondered if by leaning on him and being open with him that maybe she had insinuated something that wasn’t going to happen.
Ever.
“You did what?” Rayne asked, her mind a befuddled mess of sloppy emotions. She didn’t dare look up into those all-knowing, all-seeing blue eyes.
“This.” Blake rubbed up and down her upper arm. “Us. Well, that is, when you finally admit that there is something going on here.” Blake chuckled and she felt the vibrations run through her. Rayne stared unseeing ahead of her before replying. She wasn’t sure how to uncross the lines.
“What did Bailey say?” Rayne asked before she truly considered what she was actually saying. She really was losing touch with her good judgment.
“She was upset, naturally. I did tell her that we could still be friends.” Blake’s voice sounded strange. Rayne truly hoped that he was having a go at her. If he wasn’t kidding then she would have to move out of the state. Panic set in.
“Blake, please tell me you aren’t being serious?” She finally looked up into his face and saw the laughter in his eyes. She closed her eyes, thanked an unknown force and then called him every filthy name she could think of. Luckily she had also kept that internally corralled.
“You were coming up with escape plans, weren’t you?” Blake chuckled and his chest rumbled as he pulled her into a big hug. Resisting for only a second, Rayne hugged him back. His light humor was infectious. She felt better with a smile touching her lips.
“Of course I was, but you left out a crucial part.” Rayne mock pouted up at him. Blake’s blue eyes danced.
“Oh?” She watched as his mouth formed the shape and caught a glimpse of the similarities between Garrett and Blake.
“Yea. I would have to hide your dead body first.” Rayne grinned despite the ache in her chest. Even in joking form, she knew she couldn’t leave Hot Springs easily. So much had happened in the last year. The one place that had been merely a stopping point along her journey had turned into the destination.
“Bailey would have helped you.” Blake laughed and lifted his palm to softly brush her cheek as she looked up at him. His smile gentled as he watched her eyes. “I did tell her that you needed me. I couldn’t tell her the whole story, but she understands. If you need to talk to her, she is more than willing to listen.” Blake made the plea, but Rayne closed her mind against it. To share her burden with everyone who would want to know seemed like such a daunting order. It also made Rayne feel more like a failure than anything else.
“I can’t, Blake. I can barely be honest with myself. Only you and Garrett know. I would like to keep it that way.”
“Why do you think your family would judge you?” Blake’s question pricked her pride.
“I’m not part of your family yet.” Rayne threw back at him. Blake’s face turned very serious and his eyes quieted.
“You’re as much a part of the Johnson family as Bailey is. You can’t tell me that you don’t feel it. This is where you belong.”
The belonging card was a hard one to trump. It had been something she had searched for almost since the shocking loss of her mother—both parents really. Too bad it was also what Blake had been searching for when he had come to Hot Springs with little more than a picture to guide him. The Johnsons had never treated her any differently because she wasn’t blood relation. Bailey either.
“It isn’t about belonging. This has become my home. I just couldn’t take seeing the piteous glances and sympathetic eyes watching my every move. I would rather none of them know.” Rayne let out a shaky breath. Blake hooked his hand around her neck and pulled her into him. His warmth and understanding fostered grateful feelings. He had accepted her without trying to change how she was dealing with her dreams being dashed.
“Your secret is safe with me. I’ll respect your wishes.” Blake spoke over her head and she felt her hair move with his breath.
“Thank you.” She whispered, taking comfort in his support.
“Oh my goodness! Blake!” Lacey’s surprised voice shrieked into the room as she nearly ran right into him. Both Blake and Rayne turned together to see Lacey’s wide blue eyes watching them both. There was no judgment, just surprise.
“Hey there, Momma.” Blake let go of Rayne and pulled Lacey into a big bear hug. It really did seem like Blake had never been apart from their family. He fit right in.
“Why didn’t you say you were coming?” Lacey released him and stepped back. She really was in mother mode now.
“In the defense of any innocent bystanders, it was supposed to be a surprise. I finished up quicker than scheduled and then Matt called me about Dad. I had to come home, so I caught a flight.” Blake was waiting for Lacey to ask him when he had gotten in, but she didn’t. She only nodded and offered a smile to Rayne.
“Well, I left a white, boring room and come back to a cheerful, scented hospital room.” Lacey smiled widely as she walked about the bed and ran her hands over the soft wool throws. The soft classical music was still playing and the warm vanilla smelled like homemade cookies straight out of the oven. The sterile hospital room was now a fun oasis for those waiting for Travis’s awakening.
He will. He has to. Sooner the better.
Rayne’s inner commentary kept her from hearing Blake regale Lacey with his discharge details. His belongings were being shipped here and he was thinking about buying a house where he and Bailey could live.
“You will have to talk to your Dad about that. Seems to me he mentioned something like that a few weeks ago. Matt or Garrett might know what he was thinking.” Lacey reached across the space to touch her husband’s hand. Rayne watched the stress and fear melt back into the woman’s face.
“I’m in no hurry as long as Matt doesn’t mind me crashing in the loft with Bailey.” Blake tried to mimic his half-brother’s horror, but it fell flat. Lacey didn’t seem to notice.
“Good. That’s good.” Lacey sighed, her eyes still trained on Travis’s prone form. Rayne struggled to swallow the lump in her throat. Blake looked to her for some sign as to what to do, but Rayne could only shake her head. She didn’t know either. The awkward, heavy silence stretched for a few more minutes before Blake bowed out. He made sure that Lacey had his phone number and would call him should she need anything. He kissed Lacey’s cheek and then gave one last hug to Rayne before he left.
Rayne didn’t know what to say to her soon-to-be mother-in-law. She and Lacey got along just fine. There was probably a health
y mutual respect between them fostered by taming the playboy that Garrett used to be. Now at least he reserved his sexual prowess for her. Well when they weren’t trying to force things to happen that just never were going to happen.
“I like what you did to the room.” Lacey started, her compliment sincerely made.
“Andy and Nora helped.” Rayne couldn’t take complete credit. Introducing Andy and Nora to the conversation topics kept the thin shield up between Lacey and her.
“They stopped by? I really should call them. I’ve been losing track of time.” Lacey hung her coat up on the back of her chair and set her purse on the rolling table at the foot of Travis’s hospital bed.
“I can only imagine. One day seems like a month.” Rayne knew the feeling well.
“There’s no one here to tell me what to do right now. I’m so used to Travis leading the way and I listen to him, whether he thinks I do or not.” Lacey bowed her head. Rayne knew everyone was feeling the loss of the guiding force in their lives. Travis Johnson was profoundly and uniquely equal to the task. People looked up to him and in turn listened to what he had to say. He was always there and to not have him was almost inconceivable.
“I’m sure he knew. Just as I’m sure that he knows we love him and need him back with us.” Rayne offered, looking at his slumbering face. It was difficult to wait.
“You wonder if you said “I love you” often enough in times like these. You go about your days like nothing will drastically change or that you’ll see it coming and step out of the way.” Lacey’s head rose fractionally and Rayne was riveted to her spot. “I didn’t imagine that he would walk out of the kitchen that morning and not come back.” Lacey was starting to crumble and Rayne couldn’t move. She felt so helpless.
“He’s not…he’s not gone.” Rayne shook her head, gesturing toward Travis. “He will wake up and then we all can tell him how much he means to us. We have to believe that.” Rayne’s heart was beating fast and she took deep breaths to keep from cracking. Lacey took a few more minutes to shut off the tears. Rayne wished someone would break the silence. She couldn’t hear the music for the buzzing in her ears.
“Rayne? Rayne?” Lacey’s voice shifted the fog and Rayne looked at her. “Sit down, dear before you fall down.” Rayne blinked and then stiltedly moved toward the other empty chair. Once she sat down she realized the world had been tilting more than usual.
“Are you ok? You don’t look so well.” Lacey asked, her eyes squinting as she shrewdly inventoried Rayne. She was exhausted. That had to be it. Rayne was just tired from all of the emotions she had been battling.
“I just haven’t been sleeping well.” Rayne offered, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.
“Should I call Garrett and he can drive you home?” Lacey asked, her brow furrowed in more worry. Rayne didn’t really want to see Garrett right now. His morning conversation on the phone was not sitting well with her either. Something was up, but she didn’t know what. She didn’t think she wanted to know.
“No, I’ll be all right. Maybe I’ll go get a cup of coffee. Do you want one?” Rayne asked, getting up on steadier legs.
“Sure. Sounds great.” Lacey smiled weakly and Rayne knew she watched her leave the room. Some conversations were just easier with caffeine.
CHAPTER NINE
Garrett Johnson thought he had girls all figured out, but women were a completely different story. Maybe someone should have warned him about the complications of getting in over his head. Hell, his heart ached as if it were in a never-ending vice. Absently Garrett rubbed his palm over his jacket where the bruised organ beat underneath. He turned his black Dodge truck into his little brother’s pride and joy—the Johnson Therapy Center.
The center had been built with the sole purpose of providing equine therapy for wounded veterans—both physically and mentally. The thought was to teach a person that with patience and diligence, trust and acceptance can be obtained. The horse doesn’t care about a person’s past, the way they look, or the everyday worries that can pile up. They only want to be respected, loved, and with that comes trust. It might not seem like a lot, but it certainly can begin to heal where healing was never thought possible.
The gated entrance was wide open and there were several vehicles parked in front of the administrative office. Matt’s red Chevy truck was also parked there. Garrett parked parallel to the sidewalk so he wouldn’t have to back up the horse trailer. Matt was boarding Goliath at the center and they were going to need him to round up that damned bull from the pasture.
“I was just getting ready to call your mobile.” Matt came out of the office zipping up his heavy coat.
“Rough morning.” Garrett offered, lifting his brows and shrugging his shoulders. They had all had their share of troubles.
Matt nodded. “Something wrong with Rayne?”
Matt was the one that wanted to fix everything and Garrett usually let sleeping dogs lie. This morning wasn’t one of those sleeping dogs. He needed to talk to someone. Why not his little brother?
“I invited Royal Bentley to come take over Rayne’s practice while I convince her that I’m the only guy she’ll ever need.” Garrett watched the bemused look on Matt’s face. “She’s got this ill-conceived notion that I won’t really want her for the rest of my life. She still thinks that someone is going to leave her if she can’t be all and everything.”
That admission alone hurt. Garrett struggled with the churning in his stomach and the knot in this throat. Matt tipped his head and slowly nodded as if that made perfect sense to him. Garrett wondered if maybe it was just a bit too heavy.
“Andy felt that way when I first met her.” Matt offered.
“I remember.” Garrett nodded his head. His sister-in-law was a hard nut to crack and it took putting her in a tight spot to break down those walls she had erected.
“Seeing her there in that hallway with little Harper wailing away and tears streaming down Andy’s face, I had never felt a greater push in any one direction. She and Harper were mine that day, whether or not they knew it at that exact moment.” Matt’s blue eyes shone with pride and equal parts of love and awe.
“How did you convince her that you weren’t like everyone else? How did you convince her that our family would accept her?” Garrett shoved his hands into his pockets of his Carhart jacket. The wind was kicking up and it was downright chilly. Matt stopped near Garrett’s truck and leaned his arm up against the hood.
“I kept talking and I kept trying to show her that I was trustworthy. You know Andy told me not long ago, that she loved me long before she knew that she could trust me.” Matt shook his head as if that baffled him. “I wanted her to share her dreams with me and I shared mine with her. After that life just sort of happened and there isn’t a day I want to remember without my beautiful wife and my girls in my life.”
Matt was a hopeless romantic and if Garrett had half of the foresight his little brother had, he would be golden. Still he felt like he was on the right track stealing Rayne away.
“I’ll keep you on standby. I may need some tips on the fly.” Garrett offered a smirk and Matt thumped the hood with this hand. “So are we going to grab Goliath or what? I just know it is going to snow soon. I feel it in my bones.”
“Old man!” Matt chuckled and dodged a fake punch from his brother. “Funny you should mention that. When you were running late today, another brother swooped in and loaded the horses himself.” Matt grinned like a loon. Garrett furrowed his brow and shook his head. Then it dawned on him.
“Blake.” Garrett said, flipping the collar up on his coat to protect his neck from the biting northern wind. “So you’ve seen him too?”
“He showed up about a half hour ago. He loaded Goliath and Chap into the center’s trailer. We are going to meet him and Randy up in the pasture.” Matt walked around the front of the truck and opened the door to climb inside. Garrett rolled his eyes at being the last to know. He felt like this was becoming habit on the pa
rt of others. He crawled up into his truck and started it. The engine roared to life as well as the truck’s heater.
No way it’s quitting on me this time.
Garrett had a fondness for South Dakota snowstorms but he didn’t like the possibility of being stuck in one. Again.
“Have you talked to Mom today?” Garrett couldn’t think of much to talk about. There was this heavy cloud of worry over his father’s condition and the longer it went on the more worrisome it became.
“Not this morning. Blake said he saw her at the hospital with Rayne. Andy and Nora went up there for a bit too.” Matt rubbed his cold hands together in front of the vent.
“Yeah, Rayne went up there to give Mom a break. It must have worked.” Garrett drove the few miles down the road to the back pasture of the Crossing Pines. The closer they got the faster and clearer memories of that horrible day came.
“Blake said it looked like a Jamaican party in Dad’s room. Rayne thought that it looked too sterile and they found brightly colored blankets and flowers. Guess they even had candles too.” Matt chuckled, choosing not to acknowledge Garrett’s unease. Garrett knew that Matt saw him and they tried to just keep talking. Talking helped.
“Candles? Aren’t they considered a fire hazard in the hospital?” Garrett asked, sweat breaking out under his jacket and across his back. His hands were clammy and he felt like he couldn’t get a good breath.
“Not lit candles. They used those warming plates that Andy has.” Matt shifted in the seat, looking uncomfortable himself.
They went across the cattle guard in the road and were nearing the round pen where the cows and bull had been waiting to be loaded. The truck and empty trailer bumped along the cow path road. A couple of dips nearly jarred their insides, but soon they were pulling in alongside another truck and trailer. Blake and Randy had moved Goliath and Chap out of the back and had already had them saddled.