by A. C. Wilson
“Oh yes, we talked about it many times.” Lacey took a deep breath, her smile thoughtful. “Do you know what he said a few years later after Nora was born and I was pregnant with Garrett?” Rayne shook her head. “Travis told me that moment when he turned to look into my eyes as we stood there among the dropped food that he fell head over heels for me. Yeah, he just knew that I was the one for him.”
Rayne loved romantic stories, but they just didn’t seem real in everyday life. She was willing to make an exception here. Lacey and Travis loved each other deeply. It was clear with every look, word, and action.
“Can it happen that way? Can you fall in love in a second?” Rayne wondered aloud, looking down at the bare left ring finger. Garrett had proposed but they hadn’t gotten around to a ring yet. Lacey watched carefully and then smiled gently. She tipped her head towards Rayne’s hand.
“I’ve seen it happen five times now. It’s real.” Lacey indicated Travis and her. “I saw it happen with Matt and Andy. I saw it happen with Nora and Randy, although it was after they were married. I can see it in the way Blake and Bailey look at each other.” Lacey took a deep breath. “I know it happened for Garrett too.”
It was a hard thing to talk about with her future mother-in-law. Rayne knew she loved Garrett in a way that made her heart ache in fear that her lifetime of happiness would never happen for them. Lacey leaned forward in her chair and took hold of Rayne’s clasped hands. Golden eyes held so many questions.
“How do you know that?” Rayne asked, unable to stop the hollowness that sounded in her voice.
“Aww, my dear girl, I know it happened for Garrett because he is his father’s son. All of the Johnson men have fallen at first sight.” Lacey watched Rayne shake her head and lower her eyes. “I also know that he did, because he wouldn’t have proposed if he hadn’t.”
Alarm bells rang in Rayne’s head. He hadn’t really proposed, had he? It was unfair to admit now, but they had been talking one evening about what future things might transpire. They had arrived at the idea of getting married and it was acceptable to both of them. It was more a mutual engagement rather than any definite question. Of course a few days after their discussion, Garrett had shared their plans with his family. There wasn’t fanfare or girly oohs and ahhs over the engagement ring. There was no ring at all. In all practicality, it made sense not to choose the engagement ring without the wedding ring too. At least it did when they were discussing that as well. Just sometimes she would look at her bare finger and wish she had something that was all her own. A token of love from Garrett.
“Of course. Garrett wouldn’t tie himself down for any other reason.” Rayne knew she had failed to keep the disappointment from her voice. Lacey could see right through her.
“Is that the reason you don’t think you should marry Garrett at all? You don’t think he really loves you.” Lacey tipped her head to the side, her eyes worried and her lips pressed together. Rayne felt terrible for questioning any of it. Most women would love to be in the position she was in, or at least marrying a sexy cowboy who loved his family dearly. It was family that she didn’t want to take away from him either. She wondered what would happen to him if a family were taken out of his future.
“No, I think he loves me.” Rayne answered, her heart speaking a totally different language from what she could decipher. Lacey looked stormy.
“Well he certainly is doing something wrong if his future wife can only say she “thinks” that he loves her.” Lacey was offended by lack of conviction on Rayne’s part. It made Rayne feel worse.
“It’s not that at all. I’m the one that is falling short.” She took a deep breath, her hands shaking in her lap. “I’m not sure we will ever have a family together. It just doesn’t seem to be in the cards for us.” Rayne watched Lacey’s face carefully for anger, pity and disgust. To her surprise, none of those remotely touched the woman’s face. She was thoughtful and calm.
“That is a matter for the future and if it is meant to happen, it will. There is no ultimatum to love. If you both love each other, that’s all that matters. Everything else will figure itself out in time.”
Did it? Could it? Would it?
Rayne wasn’t sure. It felt wrong to walk away from the one thing she would always want, but it felt worse to give up on someone she would want just as much.
“I haven’t worked it all out yet. I just don’t know how to feel.” Rayne felt so tied up in knots and none of them loosened with consideration. Lacey patted her hand and stood up from her chair. Looking up, Rayne pushed herself out of the chair too.
“I’m always here if you need to talk. Whatever you choose to do is your choice to make, but this family is here for you both.” Lacey pulled Rayne into a hug and finding that she was softening around the edges, Rayne hugged her back.
“You’re already my daughter, Rayne. Nothing is going to change that.” Lacey’s warmth and tone brought tears back to Rayne’s eyes. She blinked furiously to keep them from falling.
“Thank you.” It was all Rayne could say.
“You better get going now. It’s starting to snow.” Lacey was right. There were large snowflakes swirling around outside the hospital windows and the wind wasn’t going to make driving easy. Grabbing her vest and pulling it back on, Rayne snuggled into it. Taking a deep breath to steady her own swirling thoughts, Rayne turned towards Travis’s bed. She would admit that some things made absolutely no sense at all. If they did, she was sure Travis Johnson wouldn’t be lying in this hospital bed. Silently she said a prayer for healing only adding her own name at the end. It couldn’t hurt, right?
“I’ll call you when I get home.” Rayne said to Lacey, knowing she would worry otherwise.
“I’ll call Garrett and tell him you are headed that way.” Lacey smiled and walked Rayne to the door. With a half wave, Rayne left the hospital room and headed for her truck.
Lacey fished her cell phone out of her purse and shook her head as she found Garrett’s number in her phone book. She lifted the phone to her ear and waited for her eldest son to pick up. She hoped that he would or he was going to have one very long voicemail.
“Hello?” Garrett’s voice came through the speaker.
“Garrett, Rayne is heading home now. It is snowing pretty good here.” Lacey wondered just how to broach this subject with her son. Girls were different. She hadn’t yet figured out her boys.
“It just started here, but it may get bad in a hurry. Are you staying with Dad?” Garrett asked, his voice cutting out for a second. Lacey moved closer to the window for reception.
“I’m staying here. All I can do is wait.” Lacey sighed, the length of the week taking its toll on her. She felt years older than she was.
“Okay, I’ll let Randy and Matt know. They are going to be watching the ranch.” Garrett’s voice cut out again. Spotty reception at best around the ranch!
“Garrett, I don’t know how to say this, but I think you need to do some talking with Rayne.” Lacey was certain she was overstepping her boundaries as a mother of grown children. She just couldn’t stand to see Rayne hurting.
“What do you know?” Garrett asked, his tone fairly flat. He was going on a fishing expedition. Oh well, Lacey was going to bite.
“She’s thinking of backing out of the wedding totally. She’s afraid of not giving you both the family you want.” The line was quiet. The static had even disappeared. Lacey sighed. “I think she is really questioning whether you two should be together.” Lacey prayed she didn’t just hear the death knell to Rayne and Garrett’s relationship.
“I think so too.” Garrett’s comment wasn’t exactly what she was expecting to hear from her son. She half expected a “mind your own business” or “butt out, Mom”, but not an affirmation.
“She can’t bust through those feelings without you, son. You both need memories so you can share those stories someday.” Lacey smiled at the story she had shared with Rayne. One little memory that hadn’t seemed so substantial
at the time was now a wonderful tale of love at first sight.
“I’m working on that, Mom.” Garrett’s voice seemed stronger with more conviction. So he was aware of the issues. It made her feel good.
“Oh, Garrett you might do something else while you are creating those memories with Rayne.” She smiled to herself as she watched the snowflakes whirl around outside. It looked like a tipped snow globe and everywhere she looked the snow had started to stick.
“What’s that?” Garrett cleared his throat.
“Propose to the girl.” Lacey smiled, gripping her phone tighter in her hand. She waited for her son’s voice.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Call me if you need me.” Lacey’s brief goodbye caused her own heart to ache even as it smiled. Garrett hung up and she knew that he was working on important things. She knew that Rayne meant everything to him and they would figure things out. He was his father’s son after all.
She moved toward the hospital bed again and took up Travis’s hand. She missed how overly warm his hands were. He could always warm her up and she missed how his hug would make the world seem less crazy. Travis would hold her against his body and damned if it wouldn’t disappear. It was one of the things she missed most.
Standing there staring at him, Lacey tried her best to drown out her own doubts that were swirling inside her like the snowflakes outside. Sharing that story with Rayne earlier had been as much for Rayne as for herself. It was a reminder that the past was only in the past for as long as you left it there. By remembering and sharing their stories, Travis was right here again. His smile that was so infectious and his solid wisdom that others relied on. Travis Johnson was a pillar to so many people, but to her, he was home.
Tears sprang to her eyes and blurred his face from her vision. It swam before her. Her throat closed and her heart clenched. Still she hung on as tightly as she could for fear of something vital falling apart.
“You have to wake up now.” She whispered in a teary voice. One tear brimmed and fell over lashes to her cheek. “We have so many stories to tell them, babe. There are so many more stories to live.” Her thumb worked over his skin on his hand. She watched his face for any sign of movement. Another tear fell down her cheek. Her heart was aching.
“Please, please wake up now.” Her plea went unanswered.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The snow kept falling and blanketed the ground in fluffy white drifts. The night came more swiftly than normal so Garrett turned his headlights on just before he pulled on the road leading him to Randall Ranch. The dirt road ran about a half mile up to the old ranch house where a barn sat as well some pens they had made for the horses. The barn had been completely reinforced and a whole new roof placed on top. It was a far cry better than what it had been a year ago. The walls were sagging in and it looked like it would fall over. He and Rayne had worked hard to put it back to some semblance of normal. There were hours and days of sweating out the summer putting in new posts for the pens. More time spent fixing the fences and securing the old windmill for water. Rayne had started her own veterinarian practice and Garrett had basically dedicated himself to their ranch while overseeing his construction business on the side. They had made it work together.
He passed the reflectors and pulled into the yard. His spot was empty right next to the stairs of the front porch. Rayne’s truck was parked in her usual space up against the barn. Garrett put his truck in park and sat there for a moment. The truck idled and the heater was on high. The warmth flooding through the vents was in direct contrast to how cold it was outside. The snow quickly blanketed the hood of his truck and as soon as he shut the engine off, it would cover his windshield too. It reminded him of the night he met Rayne. The snow was coming down in similar fashion. He couldn’t help but smile at his uncertainty whether Rayne was male or female.
“You took long enough to get home. I thought I was going to have to go look for you.” Rayne’s voice came from the porch and Garrett looked up at her as he closed the truck door. Her dark hair was already down around her shoulders and she was standing there in her jeans and long sleeve t-shirt. He couldn’t get over how she made his heart nearly stop every time he saw her. Rayne could be covered in God knows what after a long day with her animals and he would think her the most beautiful woman in the world. She didn’t believe him, of course.
“I thought about driving off the road and waiting for my rescuer.” Garrett chuckled as he took a couple steps her way. He could see those gold eyes from where he stood. They were a magnificent feature. They reminded him of tiger’s eyes-fierce and wary.
“You’ve done it before.” She threw at him with a slight smile touching her lips. He narrowed his eyes and grinned at her.
“I was rescued by this amazingly sexy horsewoman. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” Garrett lowered his voice to the tone that he knew made her blood boil.
“You just got lucky.” Rayne’s blush was all the confirmation he needed to know she hadn’t really thought about what she was saying before it left those pretty lips.
“I did.” Garrett crossed to the stairs and stopped just below where she stood. “Boy, did I ever!” He watched Rayne as his words and tone slid over her. Those golden eyes were hooded and her lower lip pouted ever so slightly. Garrett grinned wickedly as he reached out for her and pulled her by the waist into his arms. She slammed into him, missing the step down. The surprise collision knocked the air from her and tipped his hat back on his head.
“You’re such a tease.” Rayne whispered against his lips as they stared at one another. The snow was starting to collect in her hair. One large flake attached itself to her eye lash and she batted it quickly.
“I will try not to tease, baby.” Garrett brushed the flake away and whispered closely to her ear. “I promise.” His breath hissed past her ear and he felt her shiver. She leaned into his chest and met his eyes with a siren’s stare. He couldn’t help himself. It was as if they had always been connected. He felt the fire building between them and heat rocketed through him straight down to his toes.
Picking her up, they twirled in the falling snow. Rayne lifted her face to the sky and her cheeks were soon pink with the cold. Her laughter rang through the darkness and into the pine trees that blocked the north portion of the house. Garrett was mesmerized by her beauty. Everything about this woman fit so intricately with his life and there was nothing he wanted more. He wished that he could tell her that and that she would believe him. He felt the full weight of burdens she carried. He wondered what it would take for her to let him lighten her load.
“I missed the snow.” Rayne said breathily as she smiled at him. Her eyes sparkled and her worries were gone for the moment. Garrett couldn’t resist her. He fisted his hand into the back of her shirt and held her tightly to his body. His movements instantly grabbed her attention, but he didn’t give her time to think. With as much hunger as he possessed, Garrett crashed his lips into hers.
First he heard her gasp and then he heard her moan. He tilted his head to gain better access to that sweet cavern that made him wish for more. Their tongues dueled at a frantic pace. Garrett lifted his other hand to cradle the base of her skull and then creep through her long hair. Rayne met him at every turn. She was so in tuned to him it was as if she were mirrored in his own thoughts. Every thrust, every parry this amazing woman was his exact mate. It was a glorious thing to not have to deny it.
The world spun on an axis that kept them tightly clasped and it also kept them in the cold. The snow was piling down around them. Hours from now this storm could very well be the twin of last year’s epic blizzard. Garrett was only too happy for it to happen. His life had changed in a blizzard.
“Maybe we should go inside.” Rayne broke their kiss, shivers now shaking her body and Garrett knew it was partially due to the cold wind.
“Do we have enough wood for the fireplace?” Garrett grinned at his question. Any other time it would seem so out of context, but Rayne knew exact
ly what he was speaking of. Her mouth tipped to a smile.
“I’m sure we can manage something to keep warm.” Rayne shivered again, pressing into him once more. Her hand snaked around his neck, pulling his mouth down to hers and she plundered it on her own. She loved control and so did he. He let her have her moment as she twisted his hair through her fingers. Garrett nipped her bottom lip and grabbed her backside. She pressed her body flush against his and it was Garrett’s turn to groan. He was already feeling the heavy point of their desire. He ached to feel her wrapped tightly around him with the flames of the hearth to warm their naked bodies. The thought spread a wicked grin across his face.
Garrett thought it might be time to take some initiative and since he was so much better at spontaneity than planning, he lifted Rayne up into his arms. She squeaked in surprise, but wrapped her arms around his neck and continued her kisses down the collar of his neck. Securing his arms underneath her, Garrett moved to the steps and easily climbed to the porch. He fumbled with the screen door. Rayne leaned into him and tried to help, but her efforts were rewarded by the screen door thumping her in the head. She scowled at the offending door, but they finally made it through. Garrett struggled not to chuckle as Rayne rubbed her skull. She caught his lips quirking at the corners and she leaned into his neck as she had done before. The pinch of her teeth as she nipped him had Garrett ready to drop her like a hot rock. As uncharacteristic as if was of her, Rayne shrieked and clung to him. Garrett chuckled and then began laughing in earnest as he saw the twinkle of humor in her eyes.
“That hurt.” Rayne tried to pout, her lips looking all the more kissable and Garrett wanted to put them to the test. Again. Those golden eyes darkened with desire. He absolutely loved when they shaded like that. He carried her into the living room solely focused on the fire Rayne had started in the hearth. She might scold him later about the snow he had drug inside.
“I thought you liked a little pain.” Garrett felt her shiver in his arms as his husky tone washed over her. Her dark lashes fluttered down as she watched her hand slide into his coat to his shirt. Her fingertips tempted his skin through a slight opening between buttons. He wanted Rayne in the worst way. He wanted her without the pressures of getting pregnant. He wanted the crazy erotic woman with no restraints plaguing her every whim. They were so good before the mad frenzy to conceive. He knew they could be that way again.