by A. C. Wilson
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
October 21, 1981
“I don’t know if I’ll survive without you in my life now.” Her dreamy eyes flickered in the firelight. Travis felt sure his heart was going to burst right out of his chest with nervousness and excitement. Having Lacey here at the Blue Bird Lodge was a dream come true. Sure he had to convince her parents that everything was above board for Lacey to spend an entire weekend alone with him, but the hour spent in interrogation was worth it.
“Do you think we are moving too fast? We’ve been together only six months.” Travis lifted his glass of iced tea to his lips hoping to disguise the smile that lurked behind the rim. Lacey’s brows pinched, her eyes narrowing at his possible meaning.
“I always thought time was relative. It can be a poor comparison when held up to other relationships.” Lacey smoothed her skirt and tucked her feet beneath her. They had moved the carved coffee table from in front of the sofa and set up a picnic on the rug. Travis had made a fire in the stone hearth. One lingering glance out the window said it was still snowing. A winter wonderland up in the hills of South Dakota.
It had been a perfect day. They had walked around the property, identifying critter tracks, and throwing snowballs at each other. It had ended with them diving into the deepening snow and waving their arms up and down.
Snow Angels.
Lacey Allyn was his angel and an amazing discovery that he just happened to fall into. He couldn’t believe that one bout of clumsiness at the spring picnic would lead him to the most amazing, adorable, and wonderful love of his life.
“Travis?”
“Hmm…what?” He was snapped out of his daydream.
“Do you think time is a good measurement for a relationship?”
Travis couldn’t help but stare into those celestial eyes spitting blue fire. It was a wonder he could even remember to breathe when he was around her. She was his heaven and earth. She was the half that made him whole and he had no idea until she was there filling the void.
“No. I think you just know when you’ve found the right person. I know that’s what’s happened to me.” He smiled softly at her, his heart rate careening at break neck speeds. Her cheeks blushed at his words. They were true. Every one of them. It hit him like a ton of bricks and the intensity of the knowledge was immediately there.
No doubts and no excuses.
“There are plenty who think we are crazy.” Lacey’s voice was soft and husky. It lit his blood on fire as it spread to every vein of his body. He wanted her. He couldn’t deny it. They had even spoken about it a couple of times. Fantasy maybe or wishful thinking on his part, but he could only imagine how soft her bare skin was. He even wondered what sort of noises she would make as he brought her closer to that peak.
“I don’t care what they think.” Travis swallowed hard and wondered if he had answered her or answered his wicked thoughts. Agitation was spurring him on and finally he thought it was now or never. Sliding the distance so that he was sitting beside her, Travis turned his body so that he was looking into those eyes that held him captive. They widened as she watched him warily and her teeth snatched her bottom lip.
“Lacey, I didn’t understand what love at first sight was until I met you.” His hand reached for hers and instinctively he ran his thumb over her knuckles in reassurance. “I don’t want to face this world without you by my side. Please be my partner, my best friend. Will you marry me and make me the luckiest man?”
Time stopped. Their breaths stilled as it seemed even the fire had frozen. Travis hoped he wasn’t holding onto her hand too tightly, because he wasn’t sure he would know it if he were. He watched Lacey’s mouth open and close as if searching for the right words. He only wanted one. She tilted her head to the side and her eyes looked troubled.
“Are you serious?”
“Am I serious?” Was he serious? He wanted to snap in frustration. Emotions were so high now. All he wanted was one word for an answer and she had asked him if he were serious.
“Doesn’t the proposal usually come with a ring?”
Stupid. Of course a marriage proposal comes with a ring. Travis closed his eyes and felt in his back pocket. The little velveteen box was snugly tucked inside.
“You’re right, of course.” Travis flipped her hand over to expose her palm and settled the box in her palm. Tentatively as if savoring the moment, Lacey opened the lid, gazed at the ring, and then bowed her head. Her long hair falling to shade her face from the fire. His gut twisted in a dreadful way.
“It’s a beautiful ring.” Lacey lifted it from the box and held it up so the firelight could wink in the cushion cut solitaire diamond. It was supported by a pretty gold band and Travis had purchased the wedding ring to go with it. There was no turning back now.
“I thought so too.” His throat felt as if it had been scraped by steel wool. Travis prayed she wouldn’t say no. Sweat was already starting to bead up on his forehead.
Lacey tipped the ring and watched it twinkle.
“I would love to marry you.” Her words slipped right passed him for a moment before he wondered why she was staring at him. He swallowed hard and watched as she poised the ring on her left hand third finger. “Do you want to do it?”
He nodded like a fool. “I do.”
They giggled and Lacey grasped his face to pull him in for a kiss. He felt so giddy as if experiencing the high for the first time. One kiss was not enough, especially a peck and soon they were lost in the melding of mouths. Lacey tried to scoot closer but her skirt stopped her. Brazenly he lifted her bodily into his lap and leaned his back against the sofa. The position could leave little doubt in her mind just what he wanted. Parts of himself even demanded it.
The moment his fingertips touched the bare skin covering her ribs, Lacey put the brakes on. Travis groaned.
“We can’t go that far.” She was out of breath and her hair was mussed from his hands raking through it. “I’m sorry.”
He knew that she was and even if he hadn’t, one look at her flushed face and worried eyes told him she was. He tipped his head back against the cushion and filled his lungs with air. He wondered if a trip back into the snow wouldn’t cool him off.
“It’s my fault. I pushed you.” Travis hated that he sounded a bit sulky. It was just so hard to be so turned on and know that it can’t go any further.
“It can’t be comfortable.” Her insight brought his eyes to hers and she blushed as she glanced down to his lap where she sat. Immediately he shouted a great laugh. It almost unseated Lacey from her perch.
“It’s not, but I’ll live.” He couldn’t wipe the smile from his face and she couldn’t hide the embarrassment from hers.
“I’m just not ready yet.”
“I know and I’m sorry for pushing you.” Travis took her hands again and kissed them. “It won’t happen until you say so.”
“Even if it isn’t until our wedding night?”
Travis fought the grimace, but it must have shown.
“As long as it isn’t a long engagement.”
“Well,” Lacey looked thoughtfully at the ring that now sat regally on her finger. “I’ve always wanted a winter wedding.”
“Really?”
“I love the snow. It is so white and it sparkles in the light.” She looked so happy in that moment that Travis would have agreed to anything.
Wedding underneath the Northern Lights. Done.
Wedding dress made of finest silk. Done.
Champagne imported from France. Done.
Authentic Cinderella wedding carriage. Done.
Anything and he would have agreed to it.
“December twenty first.” Lacey bit her bottom lip again.
“December twenty first, what?”
“The day we should get married. Two months from now. What do you think?” She asked jubilantly and Travis grinned. He would have liked tomorrow better or next week, but two months was doable.
“December twenty first it
is.”
She hugged him and burrowed her cheek under his jaw. Travis hung on tightly as if trying to melt her body into his.
“What about a honeymoon?”
Lacey’s murmured question was muffled against his neck. Travis turned his attention to it so as to pull attention off his eager erection where Lacey sat.
“What would you like?”
She readjusted on her side so that her warm breath brushed his skin. He closed his eyes as he focused on her.
“Can we come back here?”
“You wouldn’t rather go somewhere tropical or exotic?”
“No. I’d rather be right here with you.”
Lacey was so easy to please sometimes it scared him. He had never found a woman so agreeable and in line with his own ideas.
“What about Christmas? Do you want to stay with our families and then leave on our honeymoon?”
It was a valid question. Christmas was a big family holiday for both of their families. Everyone would be home for their wedding, no doubt.
"No. I’d rather spend out first Christmas together and preferably in bed.” She started to laugh. “It might be too crowded at either of our homes.”
“So it would.” Travis joined her and his heart lightened. A wife in two months and their first Christmas together, snuggly tucked away in one of the bedrooms here. It sounded like heaven to him.
“There that’s settled. Should we tackle other issues tonight?” Lacey asked, her voice soft and her body tucked against his.
“Like?” Travis rubbed her shoulder.
“World Hunger? Peace? My mother’s insane need to control the wedding as soon as I tell her we are engaged?”
She chuckled but there wasn’t much humor left. Travis knew it would be the truth. He could only offer his support.
“They do know, actually. I asked your father last week if I could ask you to marry me.”
Lacey pulled back to blink owl-eyed at him. Apparently it hadn’t crossed her mind that Travis would ask her father’s permission.
“What if I had said no?”
“Well I tried not to even think that way.” Travis shrugged and pulled her close again.
“I guess it really doesn’t matter how we get married as long as we do.” Her words after minutes of silence were sound and logical. Travis could still detect her reluctance to share the moment with her mother.
“Absolutely. Besides that, we still have another day together before we need to head back. We can keep them in suspense until then.” He grinned as he heard her sigh.
“That’s something, I suppose.”
“Shall we get ready for bed? I’m getting tired sitting here in front of the fire.” Travis could feel the heaviness of his limbs and the light breathing of Lacey against his chest.
“Mmm…I suppose we should.” She wiggled to find her bearing and then sat up. She smiled sleepily at him. “Will you hold me tonight?”
The heavy quilt was turned down and Lacey came from the bathroom with her nightgown on. She blushed as she looked at him and quickly moved to the mattress. Travis slept only in his underwear normally. He had debated leaving his jeans on, but decided he would rather be comfortable. They would be sharing a bed before long anyway. So he crawled under the heavy handmade quilt and grinned wickedly when Lacey did the same.
“This wasn’t quite the way I saw us sharing a bed this weekend.” Travis joked as he adjusted his pillow. Lacey giggled.
“I said I was sorry.” She whined and offered a pouty lip.
“As long as I can sleep holding you all night long, I will be just fine.”
She didn’t resist him as he pulled her back. Her cotton nightgown brushed against his bare chest. Lacey adjusted her pillow and soon her breath was soft and even.
“I love you.” He whispered into her hair.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
A large dual-wheel, diesel truck pulled into the yard of the Randall Ranch. Rayne was drawn to the noise of the engine that ricocheted off the pine trees covered in snow.
Bentley/Randall Vet Service—Harpersburg, Kansas
She felt her heart speed up as her ex-husband parked the truck and turned off the engine. It was mercifully quiet despite the hammering in her chest. It wasn’t like she didn’t know he was coming. Given the conversation between Royal and Garrett, he needed a week. The week was up.
Royal Bentley was a handsome man with somewhat shaggy blonde hair that peeked out from under his straw cowboy hat that shadowed his watchful, green eyes. He was still tall and thin despite the bulk of his winter coat. Rayne watched as he exited the truck and looked up at her house. He hadn’t been here in a year. When she returned to South Dakota to bury her father and sell his estate, Royal had followed her. At first she was sure he was trying to get her to come back home with him, but instead he had been incredibly supportive. He and Garrett had butted heads over her—a completely new experience. Their emotions had been running hot as they both wanted to protect and comfort her as she grieved. Her life had been completely upturned and everything she thought she had ever known was lying in chaos on the ground.
“Rayne.” Royal’s voice was deeper than she remembered. His smile was just as goofy though, the white of his teeth peeking through.
“Royal.” She gave a nod. “Bentley and Randall?”
Royal looked back at the signage on his truck door and then looked back to her. He shrugged, never losing his grin.
“I haven’t had time to change it.”
“You’ve had a whole year.”
“I’ve been busy. Haven’t you?” Royal’s green eyes were almost hopeful in a way that she felt if she said no, he would be instantly wondering why.
“Of course I have.” She held her ground on the porch as Royal advanced to the lowest step. They looked each other over. Royal Bentley had been her best friend. As ironic as it sounded, he had tried to understand everything that was going on in her life and she knew that he had loved her once. They had been through some pretty rough times. Sadly a failed marriage was the least of it.
“Can I come inside or will Garrett have my hide?” Royal leaned his elbow on the railing and made a show of looking around to see if Garrett would jump out of the snow-covered bushes. Rayne thought that Royal and Garrett could be good friends if she wasn’t in between. They had a great deal in common.
“He’s helping out on the Crossing Pines. Come on in.” She moved back towards the front door and opened it. Royal walked into the small ranch house behind her.
The entry way disappeared into the kitchen and then into the living room. Royal knew the way. Rayne was suddenly feeling crowded with him in her house. She stayed ahead of him.
“I was surprised to get a call from your boyfriend. I never dreamed he would ask me back to Hot Springs.”
Royal pulled out a wooden chair at the table and began to take his coat off. It was hung over the back and his hat sat on the table top. He swiped a thatch of hair out of his eyes. Rayne couldn’t help but hug herself. Her palms supporting her elbows. Mixed emotions crowded her more than he did physically.
“I bet you were. I was surprised myself.”
“I wasn’t sure if Garrett would tell you until I got here.” There was some censure in Royal’s tone. Rayne looked at him, wondering at the things her ex wasn’t saying. She used to know him so well at least she thought she had. A few relationships on the side of their marriage had blind-sided her. There was truth in a woman not being able to change a man if they didn’t want to change. Royal would always be a collector of women. He never wanted just one. It didn’t make him a bad guy, just not the right guy for her.
“Garrett is fighting for us.” Rayne sighed, looking down at the floor and noticing the cracks in the wood. “That’s more than some do.” She hadn’t thought those words had escaped until she saw Royal’s shock replaced by a hard glint in his eyes.
“I would have fought for us had I thought you wanted me. Shit, Rayne, it was hard to know what you were thinking wh
en you never talked to me.”
“I talked to you about everything. We never had trouble talking, Royal. We had trouble acting.”
“When you…when we lost the baby, you stopped talking to me. You wanted me to fix it and I couldn’t do that. I think in a way you blamed me. Maybe you are blaming Garrett too.”
Rayne’s shock was understated by the inability to even move. She felt frozen. Was his words true? Surely not.
“I didn’t blame you and I don’t blame him. I blame myself.” Her throat tightened and she couldn’t look at him. The fury of torment was never gone.
“Things happen. You and I know this about life. We can’t fix everything and we can’t explain it either. A beloved pet dies from no apparent cause and all of our training can’t tell us how to break the news. We are healers, not therapists.”
Royal had a point but Rayne couldn’t accept it all.
“It was a baby, damn it! Not a pet. It was a child, our child.” Her temper exploded, a desperation blasting through her. She thought all the fight was gone. She had hoped acceptance might be next, but it didn’t seem so.
“I know. I know.” Royal stepped forward and drew her into his chest. She hesitated before giving in to rest her cheek on his chest. “If you think that it didn’t hurt me as much as it hurt you, you’re very wrong. I hated that we didn’t get the chance to be parents together.”
The quiver in his voice made her heart hurt more for the past that they had endured. Maybe she had blamed him some.
“I didn’t know.” Rayne mumbled into the silence of the house. Royal’s arms were warm and firm.
“I wanted a child with my sense of humor.” She heard him grin. “I wanted it to have your eyes.” Royal pushed at her shoulders to set her back from him. His green eyes sweeping her own. His seriousness went a shade deeper and Rayne was powerless to look away. He caressed her cheek and his eyes softened.
“I know you think that I married you just because you were pregnant with our baby. I let you think that, because I was a prideful coward.” His thumb cruised her jaw to her ear. “The truth is you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I was afraid to tell you that I loved you.”