by A. C. Wilson
“I can’t think that way. I am fighting for her. I am fighting for us!” Garrett’s passion could be felt across the room and Travis smiled. He was proud to see the courage and determination flowing freely.
“If you are going to fight, my boy, then you need to do it with everything at your disposal. Don’t hold back. That way you’ll never wonder if you did all you could do.” His smile deepened. “If you are anything like your old man, Rayne will know exactly how much you love her and just what you are willing to do to spend every breath on her.”
“Did you have to fight for Mom?”
Travis nodded with vigor and closed his eyes. It was funny how much closer those early days with his wife seemed. Almost like it was just yesterday.
“I’ve fought every day since I met your mother. I fought to change her parents’ minds about a rancher’s son. I fought to hang onto her when my best friend died and I won’t lie to you, I’m almost certain I nearly lost her for good then. I fight to keep the romance alive after thirty years of marriage and I’ll tell you that isn’t easy.” Travis chuckled at the thought. “After a woman knows your best moves, it is hard to keep surprising her.”
“I don’t doubt that.” Garrett cut out with a belly laugh.
“I fought to get back here to her and you all. It took that same best friend to remind me that I still have so much left to do.” Travis felt tears prick his eyes and he sniffed loudly.
“We do need you, Dad.” Garrett’s laugh faded from his mouth, but there was a new understanding in his eyes.
“However unlikely it seems and how well figured out you think I have this life, I still need you guys too.”
Garrett leaned forward and stretched his arm across the bed. He gripped Travis’s hand hard.
“I love you, Dad.” Garrett’s voice was lowered and the catch was the first signal that his son was shedding tears. Travis couldn’t plug the dam for long, no matter how sweet each breath was now.
“I love you too.”
***
“I love her, sir.”
Travis couldn’t understand why he felt so shaky and less than confident about his plan. Mr. Allyn, Lacey’s father was a short man in stature, but he could have been the tallest man alive at the moment. This moment. Travis wondered why he was here when he could be anywhere else.
“You are too young to know what love is. You both are, in my opinion.” Allyn frowned, running a toothpick between his teeth. It unnerved Travis even more.
“What does age have to do with anything?” Travis wanted to add that he and Lacey were of legal age to marry without parental consent, but he figured that would hardly endear Lacey’s parents to his cause. There was a fine balance between open harmony and closet rebellion.
“With age comes wisdom and all that nonsense. It is hard to explain to a young shoot like yourself.”
Travis wanted to turn on his heel and walk away. Hell, he really wanted to run. Still that solved nothing and only put Lacey further from his reach. He wanted her no further than the other side of the bed. A grin threatened to break his carefully serious mask.
“A man is able to live a whole lifetime in a day, or so I’m told.” Travis thought he was being smart. Allyn furrowed his brow and stopped picking his teeth.
“How long is this day you are speaking of? Life gives experiences and some catch on quicker than others, I’ll grant you. I do not think you have lived enough days to suit my peace of mind.”
“I want to ease your troubled mind to be sure, but I will not be sorry for my age. I am a quick learner, clear headed, and I never give up.” Travis fairly fumed and his hands were tucked as far down into his pockets as they would go. He wasn’t altogether certain it was to keep from flailing them around like a lunatic or from taking a swing at Lacey’s father.
“What do you plan on doing with your life, Travis? Lacey deserves a steady husband with a promising future.”
That was a perfectly acceptable question, but the tone felt like a slight as if Mr. Allyn was already putting dirt on the grave of this relationship.
“I plan on taking over my father’s ranch. Until that day comes I will be working side by side with him.” Travis wasn’t going to apologize for knowing where he belonged. Ranching was in his blood. He was made for the challenges and the triumphs. It took hard work and an even harder head. Allyn looked as if he wasn’t about to accept that.
“I don’t want this life for my daughter.”
“How can you say that? You are a rancher too.” Travis shook his head in bewilderment.
“Exactly. I know the heartaches and the hard times all too well. It is a difficult life with shortages of every kind.”
“Lacey will never know a shortage in my love. I can promise you that as sure as I’m standing here. I love your daughter. I want her to be my wife.”
Both of them stood there staring at each other on the Allyn’s front porch. The nip in the air was hardly a foil to the one that hung between them. Sharp blue eyes watched for an opening to say something that would sway the older man’s mind. They each wanted what was best for Lacey Allyn. The only thing they hadn’t done was ask the lady in question just what she wanted.
“What do you know about being a husband, Travis?”
That was a question that hadn’t been studied and it caught him off guard. Lacey’s father softened his stance and leaned against the nearest pole. He crossed his arms and waited. Travis wondered if the man knew he had slipped him up. Looking down at his boots to collect his thoughts and marshal his courage, Travis took a deep breath. His heart was thumping in slow, painful knocks.
“Well, sir, I’ve never been a husband before.” Travis looked up to see Allyn lift a brow as if warning him to tread carefully. “I come from loving parents. I respect and trust Lacey. I will never raise a hand to her. I will work hard to provide for her and any children we might be graced with.”
Allyn nodded slowly as if he had just been serenaded with the worst cookie cutter speech ever. Travis growled under his breath and decided it was all or nothing.
“I will make my vows to your daughter and only to your daughter. At the end of the day, I am only concerned with Lacey’s happiness and feelings. I will answer to her and only to her. There is no other way to do it.”
The voltage that charged the silence had a life all its own. It was nerve wracking and Travis thought his heart might explode from the anxiety. He could easily ask Lacey to marry him and defy the traditions he had been raised to respect. As hard as it was to convince her father that Lacey was the end all or be all of his life, Travis needed the approval. It caught him off guard when Allyn nodded abruptly.
“You’ll do just fine. Welcome to the family.”
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
“I talked to my dad today.”
Garrett lay beside her on their bed, the only light was cast by the moonlight atop the white snow outside their window. Rayne took a deep breath and pulled the blanket further up her body.
“You did?”
She had no idea why suddenly her heart was racing. Well that wasn’t entirely true. Rayne felt like she was standing on a precipice and one wrong move could destroy everything she had ever wanted for herself.
“I think his memory is still a bit fuzzy of that day with the bull or he could just be repressing it.” Garrett sighed. “He started talking about his best friend and how he had to fight to come back to us.”
That knowledge sent a chill straight up Rayne’s spine and the shiver was almost painful. Garrett touched her back turned towards him.
“Are you cold?” His voice was soft and soothing. She felt his tone wrap around those frantic nerve endings like velvet.
“A little.” Her reply had him scooting into her and wrapping his strong arm around her waist. Garrett pulled her close and rested his chin near her shoulder. His warm breath fluffed her hair.
“Why is it odd that he should talk about his best friend?” Rayne asked, trying to ignore the fire that was licking
through her veins. She couldn’t help it. Whenever he was near, her body responded in kind, like it couldn’t wait to welcome him home. Rayne was glad for the darkness that hid her blush.
“Rip Covington was my dad’s best friend from high school. I guess he used to ride bulls professionally and was killed by one. One time my dad talked about it with me.” Garrett shifted suggestively against her backside. Rayne fought not to squirm. “I guess he never forgave himself for not being in the arena. My mom said there was no way anyone could have helped Rip.”
“How awful!” Rayne’s heart thumped with sadness for Travis’s loss. She knew what it was like not to understand how a loved one could die so suddenly. She also knew what it was like to wish you could have tried to save them, although there was no way to do so.
“Yeah, it was really hard on him. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose my best friend.” Garrett ran his palm over the rise of her hip where her flannel pajama pants started. As his touch ignited more sparks, Rayne absently wondered who his best friend was. Perhaps it was Matt. Brothers were thick as thieves, weren’t they? Being an only child, she had no experience with siblings.
“Why do you think he started talking about Rip?” Rayne asked, mainly to distract Garrett from his quest. She heard his rumble from his throat as he groaned.
“Maybe it was losing that best friend that reminded him that he couldn’t lose the best friend he has now.”
Rayne let that sink in. She closed her eyes and pulled her pillow’s edge further under her head.
“Lacey.”
“I think so. It makes sense.”
It did. It really did make sense. They had been together for over thirty years and survived to tell about tough times and good memories. They shared three children and if Rayne didn’t know better, Blake fit right in there too. Were all husbands and wives best friends? Was it possible to be?
“I’m glad he’s awake. It wouldn’t have been the same without your dad here. He’s always made me feel so welcome.”
It was the truth. Travis Johnson had become something of a father figure the very moment she stepped foot in Hot Springs. He had never judged her. He never gave advice unless it was solicited. She wished she could talk to him now. Rayne wondered what he would say about these demons she was fighting.
“You’re part of our family now, Rayne. A marriage contract will not change that. I want you to be my wife. I long for it even, but it won’t change the fact that you belong here.”
“You say that now, but you don’t know for sure.”
“I do know it, Rayne.” Garrett leaned over her and she was pulled to her back so that she was looking into his face. The moonlight lit up the angles of his jaw and glinting blue eyes. “I know it as I know I need air to breathe. You are all I will ever need and all I will ever want. I can’t believe I haven’t convinced you yet that I want us.”
Garrett paused to watch her face. She wasn’t sure how much he could see, but there was no turning away. She was stuck like a deer looking into the oncoming headlights of a truck, paralyzed by fear and mesmerized by the brilliance of the beam.
“Forever is a really long time.”
Rayne wanted to kick herself for uttering any words that might ensnare her heart further. Of course she wanted forever. She just didn’t think that it was fair to Garrett to not get everything he ever wanted out of life in some obligation to her. The fact that she thought of herself as an obligation was enough to make her pride deflate.
“Forever would be too short, Rayne.” Garrett’s voice was hushed, but so sincere. Each word enunciated with meaning. Rayne felt them sink into her battered heart and a glow of hope took life. He lowered his head to let his lips press against hers and her heart leapt. This kiss wasn’t the passionate, possessive touch that they usually experienced, but a sort of honorable vow made between two souls. In that moment she knew he was going to do whatever it took to make her his own. Rayne applauded it and feared it at the same time.
That night Rayne walked the floor in a manner of a spirit in unrest. Garrett had long since fallen asleep and she had laid there completely awake. The clock in their room read three am. Her eyes shifted in the dark as her brain remained heavy with decisions and fear. Suddenly the easiest decision she ever thought she’d make was the hardest. Why wasn’t it so easy to just say that she was in love with Garrett and wanted to be his wife? It should be. Yet it snagged her at each turn and it was laying like a stone in her stomach. She was such a mess.
Deciding that she had had enough of going around in circles in her head, Rayne pulled on a pair of jeans, her boots and a heavy sweatshirt. Stuffing her cell phone into pocket, she pulled up her long dark hair into a high ponytail and found her truck keys on the peg inside the kitchen door. Taking a deep breath, she wondered if Garrett would wake up while she was out. If she was gone, would he worry? It was more than likely and then the whole cavalry would be sent out looking for her. Deciding that she had had enough drama, Rayne searched out a piece of paper and ink pen.
Garrett—
Be back soon. Don’t worry.
--Rayne
The snow still crunched beneath her boots as she slipped out the porch door toward her truck. She was glad that it wasn’t a diesel as it would surely wake Garrett up.
Pulling hard on the door latch, Rayne crawled up into the truck’s seat and carefully closed the door. Her heart had expanded in her throat leaving her short of breath and nervous.
This felt wrong. Although she reasoned that it was either this or leaving South Dakota entirely.
It was lucky that the moonlight gleamed brilliantly off the fallen snow so that she could get out of the yard without turning on her headlights. What Rayne didn’t notice was the sleep tousled, blue-eyed man watching from the second story window as she snuck out of the ranch yard.
The halls were dimly lit and eerily quiet as she tried not to make too much noise. Seeing the door was open, Rayne focused on it and hoping she wouldn’t run into a nurse. There hadn’t been any at the station, which was probably a security issue, but she didn’t have time to address it. There was one person who could straighten her out. She needed him.
Slowly Rayne peeked around the corner to look into the room and found him sleeping. His eyes were closed and he looked relatively comfortable compared to the alternative outcome had the bull been more aggressive. She swallowed hard thinking about the story Garrett had told her and how it had almost been him. She knew that Garrett wished that it had been him who was trampled instead of his father. Rayne understood the parental instinct to protect one’s child and she applauded Travis for his quick thinking. Clearly it was a blessing to have them both alive.
Looking at the clock on the wall across the hospital room, Rayne didn’t know what else to do. It was only four in the morning. She didn’t want to go back home to stand alone in the house, pacing a hole in the floor. She’d rather stay here and sit quietly where maybe the worst of the demons wouldn’t bother her. So Rayne crossed the floor as softly as she could in her boots and took a seat in the chair that was pushed back into the corner. The vinyl seat squeaked as she sat down.
“You are early, Roseanne.” Travis’s voice caught Rayne off guard and her quick intake of breath sounded so sharp. She moved her gaze to the bed to find Garrett’s father watching her curiously. It was clear he hadn’t known it was her.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Rayne stammered as she tried to stop her hearts chaotic beats.
“You didn’t wake me. Roseanne has been doing that enough this evening anyway. I thought you were her.” Travis’s smile was warm, but his blue eyes seemed worried.
“You’re probably wondering why I am here.” Rayne rolled her shoulders to grasp some time to figure out what to say. She was so stressed she was in knots.
“Too early for breakfast and truth be told, it really isn’t that good here.” Travis watched her. He was measuring every look and logging every reaction. She wondered if he had be
come more in tuned since his accident.
“I couldn’t sleep.” Her words sounded lame, even to her own ears. No one would be visiting at the hospital if they couldn’t sleep and certainly not before visiting hours. The longer the emotions kept roiling through her, the more Rayne wondered if she should have went to Blake instead. Just when she didn’t think she could stand it any longer and was about to get up out of her chair, Travis sighed loudly.
“I’ve been a parent long enough to know when something needs to be said. Go ahead,” Travis shifted up on his pillow so that he was lounging instead of laying down. “I’m listening.”
Instantly Rayne had to blink quickly to keep the tears at bay. Her eyes burned and her throat felt thick. Her teeth clenched to keep from spilling a jumbled mess into the room and risking Travis thinking ill of her for the rest of their lives. His blue eyes softened and he tipped his head to the side.
“Garrett told me. Some of it anyway. I imagine that is why you are here.” Travis’s lowered tone told her that he really did know. She shouldn’t be surprised that Garrett had confided in his father about their infertility, but she felt a bit disappointed. She was here to do the same, wasn’t she? Rayne didn’t know why she wanted to be first to share.
“Did he tell you that it is my fault?” Rayne felt like she was breaking inside. Not since she had lost her and Royal’s baby did she feel this fragile. She knotted her hands in her front sweatshirt pocket.
“I think we both know Garrett would never blame you.”
He was right. Garrett loved her too much to ever blame her for not getting pregnant, but she blamed herself.
“How can you want something so badly, watch everyone else getting those gifts and not blame someone? How can I get passed the feeling of my heart being ripped out of my chest every time I see a baby or a pregnant woman?” Her vision blurred as she stared at Travis. He was listening. That’s what she had wanted when she walked in here. Now she wanted answers. Crocodile tears slipped down her cheeks and plopped onto her sweatshirt, soaking them up.