Yet Anderson already knew.
Terry Asher was like a cat with nine lives.
Well this time it wouldn’t be curiosity that killed the cat.
“Hello, Ben.”
My ex-husband shot his eyes upwards, his jaw falling open to accommodate the substantial pull of air into his lungs. Then his eyes closed for a moment, his shoulders sagged and he smiled, almost to himself. “Thank fuck,” he breathed.
He scrambled up from his chair and rushed around his desk, and within moments I was in his embrace, his strong arms once again wrapping around me as he pulled me close to him. Old feelings rushed back with his familiar scent and the special way only he could hold me. It had been four years since I’d seen him, and I was happy he looked good, healthy and happy.
“Jesus, Kloe. I was scared shitless.”
Holding me at arm’s length, he scrutinised every part of me, his brow furrowing when he saw how thin I had become since we’d last seen each other. “The police visited. What the hell is going on?”
“I’m okay.” I took his hands in my own, the gentle warmth of his skin against mine easing the chill that had settled in my bones since I’d found out Brian – Terry – was still alive. “I needed a break so I had a holiday,” I lied easily.
A scowl broke across his smile and he clenched his jaw. “Bloody hell, Klo! Some nutter is threatening your life, kills your friend and you go on your jollies.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, hating that I was lying and that I’d caused him this much worry. “I didn’t think.”
“Perhaps next time you should consider telling someone before you take off. Everyone thought this fucker had gotten to you!”
“I know, I’m sorry.” I apologised sincerely because I was sorry, especially that my mess had once again come back on him. “It just all got on top of me after Dave…”
“Dave? What about Dave?”
Guilt and grief tightened my chest. Tears filled my eyes and I brought his hand to my lips and kissed his knuckles. “Dave’s dead, Ben.”
His mouth twisted in pain and he lowered his eyes to the floor. “I’m so sorry, Kloe.”
“I know,” I whispered. “Me too.”
He sighed, giving my hand a squeeze then gestured for me to sit down. He moved around his desk and sat in his own chair as I perched on the edge of the other, my nerves once again at the forefront.
“I need a favour.”
He nodded straight away. “Of course. Anything.”
“I need you to put me in touch with the private investigator your firm uses.”
Tensing, he tipped his head and narrowed his eyes on me. “Why?”
“I need him to find out something for me.”
“Kloe?”
Swallowing, I twisted my hands in my lap. “A friend has been… acting weird. I know there’s something off with him and that he’s lying about who he is. I just need to know who he really is.”
Hesitating, he chewed on his lip then sighed. “Okay. Give me a name and I’ll get in touch with him.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, I gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you. His name’s Richard Leyland. He owns Leyland Veterinary Practice in Redbridge.”
He nodded, tapping at his keyboard.
“So, how are you?” I asked when he went quiet.
Glancing at me with a smile, he nodded. “I’m good.”
“And Sarah?” I hadn’t wanted to ask but a part of me needed to know.
“Oh, we’re not…” He shook his head briskly. “She moved away to London around eighteen months ago. She got a job with a huge law firm in…” He broke off and blinked at his computer monitor. Peering closer, he looked confused, his brows almost touching with his severe frown. “Kloe, this guy, what did you say his name was?”
Sensing his puzzlement, I got up and walked around his desk. “That’s him.” I pointed to Richard’s picture that was exhibited on his practice website.
Squinting harder, Ben shook his head and peered up at me. “But…this isn’t Richard Leyland. His name’s Robert Dean.”
“What?”
“His sister did an apprenticeship with me. God, around six or seven years ago now. You remember her, Nina Dean, the girl that went missing.”
I stared at him. “Yeah.” I nodded vaguely. “I remember.”
“I remember Robert because he was strange. He was always turning up as if he was checking up on Nina.”
Tapping my teeth together when my mind went haywire, something clicked and I gasped. “I remember. Weren’t you concerned about her because she kept coming to work with bruises?”
He nodded quickly. “Yeah, I was. I had an inkling her disappearance had something to do with her father, and mentioned it to the police, but maybe her brother…”
My blood ran cold and when my knees buckled, Ben’s arm moved around my waist to support me. “Ben, did you ever see her father?”
“Yeah, a couple of times he came to pick her up.”
Pulling around his keyboard, I opened up the internet and brought up the article of the hotel fire. Scrolling down, my heart beating so hard I was sure Ben could hear it, I stopped on Terry’s photograph. “Is this him?”
The blood ran from Ben’s face and slowly he nodded as he turned to look at me. “Yeah,” he murmured, “that’s him.”
Jesus Christ! How many lives did Terry Asher have? I just knew that Nina wouldn’t ever be found again. I remembered at the time when Ben and I had discussed her sudden disappearance we had speculated that maybe the poor girl had run from her abusive family. But now that seemed highly unlikely.
“Kloe, you need to take this to the police.”
I hated that I had to lie to Ben but I couldn’t risk involving him. I knew he’d try to protect me, and that he’d put himself at risk just for me. “Yes, of course. I’m going now.”
He nodded then walked with me when I made for the door. “Listen while you’re here. I needed to, uhh…”
His nerves were evident and I turned back to him, giving him my full attention. “What?”
Licking his lips apprehensively, he grimaced. “I’ve met someone, Kloe. I’m getting married,” he finished with a whisper.
Although his disclosure ached deep inside me, I couldn’t help but smile. He was happy, and he deserved that. Bringing my hand to his face, I placed it on his cheek and smiled. “I’m glad. You deserve to be happy, Ben.”
“I’m so sorry about us. I was stupid and…”
“Shh,” I quietened him quickly with a finger to his lips. “We both know it was both our faults.”
“No,” he said adamantly, shaking his head. “You never did…”
“Exactly,” I cut him off. “I never did. I never talked to you about my past, and in the end it killed us. I should have trusted you enough to… talk.”
He smiled, albeit sadly. “And now?” he asked. “You’ve found someone who helps you talk?” He could always read me, and for that I would always value his friendship.
“It’s complicated.”
“Then uncomplicated it.” He spoke like it was so easy. “Whoever he is, if you trust him enough to be open with him, then you make him see just how fucking beautiful you are underneath all the scars, Kloe. Although I’m positive he already sees you. You need someone who is strong enough to carry the weight of your broken soul. I wasn’t strong enough…”
“Ben.”
“It’s okay, Kloe. I loved you, and I know you loved me.”
He was right and I nodded firmly. “Deep down, I’ll always love you, Ben. You were my husband, the man I trusted to hold my hand and pull me through life, and you did that. You helped me to breathe every damn day.”
His eyes shimmered with moisture and he grabbed onto my hand. “I know, and to most that’s all that matters, but you need more, and I’m not too proud to admit that I couldn’t ever give you that more. And it will take someone special to give you that more. You find him, then the more he will give you, the more those wou
nds will start to heal.”
Grabbing him, I held onto him so tightly. His arms held me back just as strongly, and what we had failed to do in the whole of our marriage, we managed to do in that single fierce embrace.
Tears slid down my cheeks when we pulled apart and he wiped them away, his handsome face smiling at me through the blur. “You will have to come and meet Jenny. She’d love to meet you.”
Jenny. Strangely, her name didn’t hurt me as much as I had expected it to. And I was pleased about that.
“I will.”
He smiled. We both knew that I lied, that this would be the very last time we would ever see each other. Deep down I would always love Ben; he’d been my first love and that love always lives in a part of you forever. But I also knew I was in love with Anderson. Whereas Ben was my first love, I knew within my heart that Anderson would be my everlasting love, the man who would forever hold the shattered pieces of my soul and carry them for me. As toxic as our love was, it was also medicine that soothed the agony that lived with me, and even though he had used me and hurt me, finally surrendering to that love crumbled away something inside me and for the first time in many years I took a full breath.
“You gonna be okay?” he asked as his sad eyes held me for the last time.
“Yeah,” I whispered as I reached up and kissed his cheek. “Yeah.”
And somehow, deep down, with or without Anderson, I knew I would be.
I’d sat in the car outside Anderson’s for over two hours. I didn’t have the code for his gates and he wasn’t answering my calls or the intercom.
What I hadn’t expected was Robbie pulling up to the gates. He frowned, his face squinting at me from the dark interior of his car before he waved me through after him.
“He’s not here,” he said as soon as we both climbed from our cars.
“Right.” I sighed disappointedly. “I wasn’t sure if he was just ignoring me.”
Robbie looked uncomfortable, his eyes diverting from mine. “He’s at a fight.”
“I need to see him. It’s important.”
“Kloe…”
“This… this isn’t about me and him. But I have to talk to him. Please, Robbie.”
He looked to the floor, sighing. “I know I’m gonna regret this. But I like you, and even though Anderson can be a pain in the ass, I care about him and I want to see him happy. Somehow, I know that’s only gonna be your job.”
I wasn’t as sure as he was but I blew out a relieved breath. “Thank you.”
A look of concern crossed his face and he grimaced. “Are you sure you wanna do this? These fights aren’t like they are on the telly, Kloe. It’s dark shit.”
“I’ll be fine,” I lied. I needed to see Anderson so it would have to be something I sucked up. “Also, I need another favour.”
Quirking an eyebrow, he nodded for me to go on.
“I need a gun.”
Robbie held my hand so tightly I thought he was going to break my fingers as he led me through the upper level of the club. It appeared to be much like any other club with a bar and a dancefloor. However, Robbie didn’t stop at the bar, or to ask me for a dance. He guided me through the throng of people and through a door at the rear that indicated to the toilets. The toilets passed us on the right and we pushed through a door on the left marked ‘staff only’.
I tensed when Robbie continued down the corridor and came to a stop in front of a huge bulk of a man. He wore an earpiece and stood menacingly, his huge arms crossed across his massive chest.
“Robbie,” he greeted with a smile.
“Good to see you, Sherbet.”
Sherbet? He didn’t look at all sweet.
Sherbet’s eyes slid over to me and he grinned wider. “Sugar.” His greeting came with a polite nod of his head. “Enjoy the fight.” He pushed open the door behind him and signalled for us to go through.
As soon as I stepped foot inside the next corridor, the atmosphere shifted dramatically. The air stank of sweat, blood and anticipation. Excited murmuring floated from where we headed. My gut bubbled with nerves and sensing the shift in my mood, Robbie stopped and turned to me.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I don’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice, Kloe.”
Shaking my head, I straightened my shoulders. “Yeah, and this time I need to make the right one.”
Shrugging and holding out his hands, he blew out a breath and then led me through the last door.
The area was huge, the high ceilings and tall walls somehow making me think of Mary Poppins’ bag, the hidden space beneath the club feeling illusory. Masses of people stood around a large square cage in the centre of the room and a few sat in seats adjacent to the four sides. VIP balconies overlooking the fight ring were suspended on steel poles. But it was the atmosphere in the large space that made my throat dry. An anticipation of death lingered in the air, excitement for bloodshed and slaughter heavy in the whispers of the crowd.
“Do they fight to the death?”
Robbie halted when he caught my question. Turning to me, a glint of fear trickled into his eyes. “Yes.”
Pain slithered into me and I had to catch my breath with the agony in my chest. “Why does he do this?”
He gave me a soft smile and squeezed my hand. “Because he has to, Kloe. Don’t try to understand him because you’ll forever fail.”
“And what happens if he fails?”
Unable to answer my question he shook his head and headed towards the back of the room. Just before we pushed through a door, the crowd around us roared and electricity sizzled in the atmosphere.
“Shit!” Robbie growled. “We’re too late. We’ll have to wait!”
“What?” Panic sliced through my heartbeat, sending it crazy when Robbie turned us back around and guided us into a quiet corner spot away from the throng of chanting people.
Music blared out through some speakers, deafening me before a voice cut in to introduce ‘Killstreak’. A huge man jogged into the room from one of the doorways, his hands high in the air and his smile as vicious as his eyes. Women went crazy around him, fighting to get just one touch of him, their hands tearing at his gold robe.
‘Killstreak’ grabbed hold of his groin and roared into the crowd of women. Nausea curdled my stomach as they all went crazy and I rolled my eyes.
Climbing into the cage, he jumped up and down, enticing the audience and bigging himself up.
The volume of screams and shouts amplified and for a moment I wondered why. It was then that I saw Anderson enter the cage and the majority of the women screamed louder when the compere introduced ‘Anderson Cain’ to the cage. Anderson’s attitude was the total opposite of Killstreak’s. Not once did he address the crowd or even look out. He was entirely in his own zone, his eyes down to the floor as he took plentiful deep breaths. He was so concentrated on himself that I wasn’t sure he even knew anyone else was there – apart from Killstreak.
“I don’t think I can do this.”
Robbie didn’t hear me over the noise in the room. Fighting with the vomit that was climbing for freedom, I closed my eyes, held on to Robbie and prayed. I prayed for the first time in my life. I prayed for a man I had reluctantly found myself in love with. I prayed for my heart to still be in one piece after this horrific, reckless act was over.
Starting to hyperventilate, I concentrated on my breathing, blowing out the overwhelming urge to puke as the crowd screamed and chanted around me.
Grunts, cries and thumps ricocheted around the air, the infrequent crash of the bars making me flinch and screw my eyes together tighter.
And then, just as my legs started to wobble, silence fell over everything. The oxygen in the room disappeared as every single person sucked in a large gasp. Blood rushed in my ears, pounding in my head and causing my whole body to vibrate with dread.
I daren’t breathe. I daren’t open my eyes. I daren’t move.
But when the sile
nce broke with a roar of cheers, I took a breath.
“It’s okay, Kloe. Open your eyes,” Robbie urged.
Only then did I have the courage to look. A broken sob tore from me when I saw Anderson stood quiet and subdued, looking down to a mutilated Killstreak. Blood coated every surface and the scent of it caused me to turn to the wall behind us and expel the contents of my stomach.
“See.” Robbie grinned at me.
How the fuck could he stand there and smile? How the fuck could he stand there and watch something so fucking gruesome?
“Now we can go see him.”
I stood silent and in shock as a man came over to talk to Robbie. I didn’t hear anything they said, I didn’t hear anything as I stared at the mashed up carcass of Killstreak. His dead eyes stared straight at me as his tongue hung limply from the side of his mouth.
A loud burst of laughter ripped up my throat and out of my mouth. I couldn’t stop. Hysterics took me over and tears streamed down my face as Killstreak’s stupid bloated face watched me. My stomach gained a cramp and I bent over, holding on to my legs as hysteria ran through me.
“It’s okay, Kloe. Shh.”
Robbie’s arms around me were the only physical thing I felt. He held me so tightly that I thought I might snap, his soft pleading for me to close my eyes finally registering in my head and bidding me to shut my eyes and block it all out.
I buried my face into his chest as he directed me through the mass of still screaming people and through a door we had been heading for earlier.
The bang of the door behind me made me jump, and I relished in the muted quiet of the long thin corridor.
“You okay now?”
The concern on Robbie’s face made me warm to the usually cold man. There was another layer to Robbie I hadn’t witnessed before, and for the first time, I understood the relationship between him and Anderson.
Nodding, hating that I had worried him, I managed a smile. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to freak out.”
“Don’t be silly,” he said with a firm shake of his head. “It’s not everyone’s cup of tea.”
That was an understatement.
“Come on.”
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