He ducked his head. “I’m sorry for being a dick earlier.” Holding his hand out, he smiled at me. He looked so happy. So like the Chase I used to know. “When we went out on Saturday, I had fun.”
“Me, too.”
“You don’t understand. I had fun.” He looked up at the dark sky. “I haven’t let myself do that since Joey died. When I realized I’d spent the day laughing and smiling, it scared the shit out of me. It was then, in that restaurant, that I realized…”
I bit my lip. “Yeah?”
“I didn’t want to do it anymore.” He faced me. “I don’t want to be miserable anymore. I want to be happy. I want to laugh.”
My heart wrenched. “Then do it.”
“I’m trying. But then I came to class, ready to show you I changed, and then you had a date…so I lost it. Reverted back to my old ways.” He laughed. “I was jealous because he beat me to it. He got to you before I could, and I had no one to blame but myself.”
My heart sped up. “You were going to ask me out?”
He nodded once.
“I would’ve said yes.”
“Good. From now on, no matter how tonight goes, I promise to be real with you. No more games. No more anger. Just us, as friends…or more.” He trailed his hand over my lower back flirtatiously. “Sound good?”
I hesitated for a fraction of a second. I couldn’t help it. This guy had the power to destroy me, and he didn’t even know it. If I went out with him, and I fell for him, he would inevitably break my heart. But sometimes something is a horrible idea, you know you’re going to get hurt…
And you do it anyway.
Playing it safe wasn’t smart—it was not living.
Would we live happily ever after? Nope. But could we have some fun with one another if I remembered that was all it was? Sure. Why not?
No one had to get hurt, right?
Entwining my fingers with his again, I nodded. “Let’s do this.”
Chapter Eight
Chase
I picked up my soda, taking a small sip. Taylor watched me, holding her own Coke, but looked away when I caught her watching. We’d just finished eating and were waiting on a piece of chocolate cake to share. She looked so goddamn pretty in the candlelight. Soft and sweet and all that shit. She was easily the most beautiful girl I’d ever taken out on a date, and I couldn’t stop checking her out. She was smart, funny, kind—everything wonderful and bright that I wasn’t.
When I caught Ryan bailing on her earlier, I couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t told her, but I’d heard him bragging about how he’d totally stood up another girl to take the other chick out instead. He’d gotten in the car, both of them laughing as they drove away. Taylor had been pegged as second choice. The idiot had no idea what he was missing out on.
She was the real thing.
Our legs touched as I turned toward her slightly. We’d spent the last hour talking about everything and nothing at all. To be completely honest, I didn’t know what I was doing, or what my end goal was, really. I just saw she’d been stood up, and I guess my knight in shining armor complex had kicked in.
I had to rescue her.
Maybe some small part of me still hoped I could be that guy. The one who saved the girl in her hour of need. The thought of her standing outside, waiting for Ryan for an unknown amount of time, the light in her blue eyes dying each passing moment… I curled my free hand into a fist on my lap. The asshole would answer to me for messing with Taylor.
She set her drink down and nudged me with her knee. “So…”
“So?” I cocked a brow and forced my mind off Ryan and his douchebaggery. We’d already bashed him in the first half of the date. The problem was I couldn’t think of anything else to talk about that didn’t involve my father, or my past, because I was too damn nervous to think straight. “Uh, did you finish your Statistics assignment yet?”
She shook her head. “Nope.”
“We can work on it…after this…” I cleared my throat. “Uh…date, if you want to.”
Her lips quirked, and she scooted closer. “Are you trying to get me back to your room so you can take advantage of me, Maxwell?”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Reaching out, I smoothed her hair behind her ear. Leaning down, I stopped when our noses were touching. I loved being this close to her. Loved breathing her in. “You don’t fuck on the first date.”
She smiled and toyed with a piece of my hair over my left ear. It did weird things to my heart. Dangerous, unchartered things. “No, but I don’t mind good-night kisses.”
“I see, I see.” I nodded as if she’d told me some incredibly shocking and important news. “But that good-night kiss is a killer, isn’t it? All the tension and pressure. The need to make it perfect. It ruins the easiness of the night.”
“Totally. By the way, I’ll be rating you on a scale of zero to hero.” She scrunched her nose up in an adorable fashion. “No pressure or anything.”
I eyed her mouth. She had on a soft pink lip-gloss that smelled like strawberries. “Of course not. But now I have an even bigger dilemma.”
“Oh?” She inhaled deeply, her gorgeous eyes locking with mine. I found myself staring at that small little hazel ring around her pupils again. “And what’s that?”
I trailed my hand up her thigh a tiny bit, slipping my fingers under the hem of her soft dress but stopping there. “I’m no hero, but I’ll be damned if I’ll be a zero.”
She laughed, tilting her face up toward mine. It was all the invitation I needed. “You’re such a—”
I curled my hand behind her neck and kissed her, my fingers threading through her hair. The brush of her lips and the slight moan she let out were enough for me to press closer to her.
The fabric of her dress was soft over the curve of her hip. She reclined against the back of the booth, and I half leaned on top of her as my lips touched hers for the second time that night. Magic. Pure fucking magic. She moaned and opened her lips, letting me in. Heart pounding, my tongue stole a taste. Hallelujah, amen.
Her fingers dug into my biceps, scraping against the crisp cotton of my shirt. Her lips on mine again confirmed that kissing Taylor was amazingly different from any other kiss I’d ever had. My stomach tightened in knots, my heart raced, and it was fucking hot in here. Taylor brought out another new feeling in my chest…a warmth I couldn’t even begin to name.
One I didn’t want to name.
A plate slid across table, ripping me out of the moment, and the waitress cleared her throat. “I know this is a private booth, but you might want to save the rest of that kiss for when you’re out of here, or I’ll be forced to kick you out.”
Taylor broke the kiss off as soon as the plate hit the table, her breathing heavy. “Uh…yeah. Thanks.”
The waitress looked at me with such utter contempt that I swear she would step over my dying body before raising a finger to help me. “Sorry, ma’am.”
She humphed and left.
“Yep. I’m calling it. Hero.” She kissed me lightly and scooted a little bit away, but still touching her leg with mine. “Definitely a hero.”
I blinked at her. “You think?”
“Yeah. That kiss was hot.” She reached out and picked up a fork, scooped up a piece of chocolate cake, and offered it to me. “You try it first, since I picked it. Don’t try to give me that crap about ladies first—I insist.”
I stared at her, feeling completely at a loss in her presence yet again. She acted so differently from anyone I’d ever dated before. She was so fun, light, and free. I wasn’t even close to any of those things, but with her…I wanted to be. Leaning in, I took the bite of cake, chewing slowly and swallowing. I grabbed the other fork and cut off another bite, offering it to her. After she took a bite, I said, “It’s delicious, but not as tasty as you.”
She gave a small laugh, half choking on her cake. When she managed to swallow, she smacked my arm. “Once again, I have to ask this—are you trying to kill me?”
She swallowed hard, cleared her throat, and kissed me. Light, soft. “I had fun, too.”
We finished the cake, each of us feeding the other and stealing kisses in between bites. For the second time this week, I was…happy. It was a surreal thing, feeling like this. Part of me was sure it couldn’t be real, that I was imagining the whole thing.
Guys like me didn’t deserve to be happy.
Tipping the waitress heavily, we paid and left Minella’s. We’d walked over, so we headed back toward the campus holding hands. The moon was full, the wind was calm, and the temperature was mild. Everything was perfect…so I guess I should’ve suspected it would fall apart on me.
Guys like me didn’t get perfect, either.
“Hey, look who it is,” said Gary, my ex-friend and ex-teammate. His words slurred together at the end, so he’d clearly been drinking. No big surprise there. “It’s the Villanova killer. Out for a romantic stroll in the moonlight, huh? How…nice.”
I didn’t say a word in my defense, not only because I refused to socialize with anyone besides Taylor, but because there was no point. In his eyes, I’d killed Joey, and now I dared to show my face in his presence—looking happy.
Taylor’s grip on my hand tightened. “Fuck you, ass—”
“Watch your mouth.” Gary stumbled closer and glared at Taylor. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Maxwell here is a killer, and he only got off because of his daddy’s money.” Gary stopped within reaching distance. “Isn’t that right, buddy?”
No, I’d gotten off because I hadn’t been drunk, and because I’d been trying to stop Joey, but there was no point in defending myself. No one believed me, and no one gave a damn. I’d stopped trying to explain myself long ago.
Taylor stiffened. “He didn’t kill him.”
“Yeah, he did.” Gary glared at her. “You don’t know the story, so don’t act as if you do. You weren’t there. You didn’t watch him die.”
Taylor shook her head stubbornly. “Joey was the one driving the car, not Chase.” She dropped my hand and stepped in front of me, as if she could protect me from Gary’s words. “Leave him alone.”
Gary laughed, throwing his head back. “You’re hiding behind a fucking girl, Maxwell? Really?” Gary looked Taylor up and down, sneering. “Dude. She’s not even your type. Oh, wait, let me guess. You’re screwing her so she does your homework? I mean, get a nerd on your side, and she’ll do anything to get laid, am I right?”
Fuck with me? Whatever.
Insult Taylor? Game fucking on.
I shoved him backward. “Watch your mouth, dude.”
Gary lifted his hands and locked eyes with me. “Ooooohhhhh.” He shot me a cocky grin. “The killer has a voice after all. You don’t say a word when people make your life hell. But I insult your little homework buddy here, and you panic about losing her help and her sweet little pus—”
I growled. “I’ll fucking kill you.”
“Kill me, huh? Like Joey? Old habits die hard.” Gary laughed and motioned me closer with his finger. “Go ahead. Let’s see your daddy get you out of this one, rich boy. Try to kill me. I dare you.”
“Chase, no!” Taylor called out. She grabbed my arm. “He’s not worth it.”
“Yeah, listen to your piece of ass. She’s gotta be smart if you’re fucking her for grades,” Gary sneered. “Just look at her. She’s got nerd written all over her giant tits—”
Something snapped within me, and there was no stopping it. He’d been giving me shit since Joey died, and I’d put up with it without a word, but tonight he’d gone too far. I cocked my fist back and punched him right in the face.
Blood spurted out of his nostrils, and his eyes flared comically for two point two seconds before he launched himself at me, fists flying. A solid punch connected with my cheekbone, and another grazed my chin, but I barely even noticed.
I was too pissed to give a damn.
Someone shouted something about a fight, and Gary cursed, slipping out of my hold. I let him go because if people had noticed, it was only a matter of time until the campus security showed up, and neither of us needed that kind of attention on us.
Backing up, he flipped me off, blood spurting out of his nose and dying his teeth red. “Fuck you.”
I took a step after him, but Taylor grabbed my arm and tried to pull me back. “Let’s go. You don’t need something else on your record.”
Gary’s voice carried, and I heard him say something about killer and whore. Growling, I yanked free and took another step after Gary, not really hearing her. “I don’t give a damn about my record.”
“Chase, stop!” she called out.
I kept moving, barely even noticing her walking beside me, almost tripping over her own feet in her attempt to keep up.
“He wants you to do this. Wants you to get in trouble. Chase, listen to me!”
She stepped in my path, cupped my cheeks, and kissed me. I stopped walking, more out of shock than anything, and held my hands out at my sides. I didn’t even kiss her back—I was that far gone. She broke the kiss off, and I took a deep breath, trying to calm my anger. I concentrated on my breathing like my therapist had told me to do.
In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.
“You okay now?” she asked breathlessly.
Okay? No, I wasn’t okay.
I was angry, frustrated, upset, and pissed at the whole fucking world. Campus security approached the scene of the fight, and I pulled myself together. I grabbed her hand and started dragging her back to my dorm room, not saying another word. I didn’t even look at her. I couldn’t. I’d taken a perfectly romantic night and topped it off with a street fight. Way to fucking go, Maxwell.
Way to win over the girl.
The problem was, this was my life now. Joey had been the guy everyone wanted to be. Kind, generous, loving—a lot like Taylor, actually. Now, they all hated me because I’d taken their shining star away. Despite the evidence to the contrary.
Even the media had crucified me. Everyone had.
It would never stop. None of this would stop…
Unless I left.
As we moved down the dorm hallway, still holding hands, someone spit at me, and I didn’t even stop walking to glower. Fuck them. Fuck them all.
I was done.
“Excuse me,” Taylor snapped, her body vibrating with anger. She advanced on the dude. “Did you seriously just—?”
“Drop it, Tay,” I said, yanking her back.
She sputtered, her face turning red. “But he—”
“No.”
I opened my door, pushed her inside, and slammed it shut behind us. I leaned back, closed my eyes, and flexed my aching fingers. Damn, I swear I could still feel his face scraping against my knuckles. It had felt good—way too good. I didn’t give a damn if I’d hurt my hand. If you asked me, I hadn’t hurt it enough.
Gary had the last punch, after all.
With a sigh, I finally looked at her. She’d turned on the light and stood within a few feet of me with a sad look in her eyes. I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry—”
“Don’t apologize to me. It’s not your fault, it’s his.” She nodded and glanced over her shoulder at the closed door. “Don’t let him get to you. He’s so not worth it.”
“He insulted you.” I swallowed hard. “He had the nerve to say…”
“That you were paying me with sex for the exclusive use of my brains?” She pushed her glasses back up on her nose, her cheeks red. “Big deal. It’s not the first time I’ve heard something like that, and it won’t be the last.”
“What? Who the hell insinuated yo
u would…that you’d…?”
For the second time tonight, I was at a loss for words.
“Prostitute my brains for an orgasm?” She rolled her eyes when I growled. “Come on, Chase. It’s not like I’m hot in the traditional sense. I’m happier with statistics and numbers than I am with raves, and I don’t really get out of the dorm much. It’s not exactly rocket science that I’m not your ‘type.’” She air-quoted the word “type.” “On top of that, I’ve seen the girls you’ve slept with and forgotten about, and I’m not even remotely in their league. I’m those kids you coach, and they’re the NFL.”
I looked her up and down, totally not seeing why anyone would doubt that her looks alone were worth my full attention. Her blond hair was always so soft and pretty, with gentle waves cascading down her back. And her bright blue eyes were stunning. The glasses she wore only made them look prettier, and when she was in the room with me, I couldn’t even think straight. And her dimples—God, her dimples—they took my breath away when she smiled at me. And that was just the icing on the cake.
Under all that, she was a good person.
Genuinely good.
Sure, she wasn’t plastic like most of the girls I’d spent time with…
But that was an improvement.
I’d only been wasting my time with those girls until someone real like Taylor came along. Or…more importantly, until Taylor had walked back into my life.
“It’s not that you’re not in their league,” I said, my voice coming out gravelly. “It’s that they’re not in yours. And neither am I.”
She bit down on her lower lip and shook her head. “Don’t say stuff like that. We both know it’s a lie. I’ve seen your girls. They’re all gorgeous.”
“Yeah, and I forgot about them as soon as I walked away.” I cupped her cheek. “You can be damn sure if I had the chance to touch you.” I trailed my fingers down her neck, skimming over her racing pulse, and lower over her arm until I latched fingers with her. She let out a small gasp. I pressed my hand against her lower back, urging her closer. She didn’t fight me. “I would damn well remember every fucking second of it for the rest of my life.”
The Backup Plan (Back in the Game) Page 8