Yeah. I’d seen that.
I’d also seen him see me before he’d gotten in that car.
He wanted to hurt me, and he’d succeeded. Every night, I hugged the Mister Fluffybottom he’d thrown on my bed as a parting gift—and I still had no clue how he found another one—and I replayed everything we said to one another. The soft words and the hard ones. He’d meant what he said. He didn’t need me.
Not like I needed him.
Anna sagged against the chair, exhaling hard. “This sucks.”
“Yeah.” I leaned back, too. I could feel his eyes on me, and it took every ounce of self-control not to look back at him. Not to run across the room, throw myself at him, and beg him to love me enough to make the fight worth it. “I know.”
“And he has no idea what you’re going through,” she said.
“He never will.” I pointed at her. “You promised.”
“I know,” she said, glaring at him.
I smacked her arm. “Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Looking at him like that.” I turned around, giving him my back, and tugged her until she did the same. I could still feel him staring at me. “You’re glaring at him.”
“I can’t help it.”
“It’s not his fault,” I argued.
“I know, but he should know something is up. He should know you love him, and he should be fighting for you.”
I’d been thinking the same thing. That’s the reason I cried myself to sleep every night. Because he should know me better. He should know I hadn’t lied, and that there must be a reason I was letting him walk away.
Guess he didn’t really know me, though, huh?
Not like I did him.
She crossed her arms. “Instead, he’s over there laughing with that bitch while you’re hurting and being threatened—”
“Shh,” I interrupted. “You’re talking too loud.”
Anna gasped. “I—”
“Being threatened by who?” a voice I knew as well as my own said from behind us.
I stiffened, not turning around, not looking at him.
Anna turned. “Huh?”
“You said she was being threatened.” He paused. “By who?”
“No one.” I stood, facing him. It was a mistake. A huge one. I hadn’t been this close to him since we’d broken up, and I wasn’t ready to smell him. To feel him. “We were talking about a show we watch together.”
He cocked a brow. “Bullshit.”
“How would you know?” I said, crossing my arms.
“Because you guys kept looking at me, and she was glaring at me, so I came over to see why you were whispering about me like I was the bad guy when I’m not.” He looked me up and down. “I mean, you’re the one who played me, not the other way around.”
“Thanks for the reminder,” I spat back.
He shrugged, saying nothing.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Anna said, linking her arm with mine. “I like you, Chase. I really do. But you’re an idiot.”
“I’m an idiot?” he said, frowning. “How so?”
“Look at who’s with you over there, and maybe take a second to wonder why,” Anna shot back.
I elbowed her, shooting her a dirty look.
“What do you mean?” he asked, looking confused.
“Nothing,” she muttered.
She dragged me off, but Chase caught my hand.
His skin on mine was electrifying. Jolting. So frigging missed. “Taylor.”
“Yeah?” I managed to get out from my swollen throat. I was this close to crying in front of him, something I refused to do.
“Is someone threatening you?” he asked slowly, looking deep into my eyes.
“Does it matter?” I shot back, pulling my fingers from his even though it killed me to end the contact I’d so sorely craved since he walked out of my room. I still loved him. I always would. I had never really stopped. “You wouldn’t believe me anyway.”
“Try me,” he said softly.
“I already did.” I locked eyes with him.
He stared at me, saying nothing.
I walked away.
He let me go.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chase
I came out of the doctor’s office, trembling. I’d finally gotten the answer to a question I’d been asking since my accident, and the only thing I could think about was running to Taylor to tell her all about it and lose myself in her arms and kisses until I stopped thinking so damn much. But she wasn’t mine to kiss anymore.
She didn’t want me.
But still… I wanted her.
My phone rang on cue, and I ignored it, knowing it was my father wanting to hear the news. He didn’t get to know. I was too pissed at him for hiring Taylor to watch over me, just like I hated him for making her go away. If he hadn’t called, if he hadn’t told her to end the charade, then she’d still be mine, and I’d still be happy.
Against my will, my mind went back to the little bit of conversation I’d overheard earlier today in class. I was dying to track down Anna and demand answers, but to be honest, that was the coward’s way out. If I wanted to know what was going on with Taylor, there was one way to find out—ask her myself.
The truth didn’t scare me.
But she did.
Every night, I tossed and turned, missing the feel of her body next to mine. And every morning, I reached out for her in an empty bed and felt lonelier.
The pain wasn’t going away.
Neither was my love for her.
Who was threatening her? Why did she look so damn sad when she didn’t care about me? Did she miss me at all? Was any of it real?
I needed closure.
Then I could deal with what doc had told me in there.
There was only one way to get closure. I had to go see her.
Without hesitation, I headed for my car, my heart pounding.
“Chase!” Amanda called out.
Jesus. Every time I turned around, she was there. After class. Before class. At the cafeteria. At study sessions. Clinging to me. Touching me. Trying to make me miss something I never fucking would. I kept telling her I wasn’t interested, but she just kept smiling and telling me she’d wait. It was infuriating and annoying.
If only Taylor was so damn dedicated to me.
“Hey,” I said halfheartedly, not slowing down my steps. “Another dentist appointment?”
“No, I came to see how your appointment went,” she said, running to keep up with me. “What did the physical therapist say? Can you play again, or will you be working for your father after graduation? If you ask me, either one is a great option.”
I stopped walking mid-step, narrowing my eyes on her. I hadn’t told Amanda about going to therapy, or even my dreams of getting back on the field.
The only person who knew about it was Taylor…and my dad.
“How did you know about my appointments?” I asked, my voice low.
“W-What?” she said, paling. “You told me.”
I crossed my arms. “No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you must have.” She reached for my hand. “Chase—”
“Holy shit.” I laughed. What Anna said earlier about wondering why people were around me made perfect sense now. “You’re working with him, aren’t you? Or is it for him?”
She laughed nervously. “Working with who?”
“My father.” I dragged my hands down my face, unable to believe that both the women at my side at Villanova were there at my father’s request. What the fuck was wrong with him? Hell, what was wrong with me? “You’re working with him.”
She shook her head. “No. Of course not—”
“You’re just like Taylor.”
She stiffened, her nostrils flaring. “I am not like her.”
“You’re right.” I opened my car door. “At least she told me the truth up front, and admitted to being there at my father’s request. Hell, she even told m
e the truth in the end when she admitted to not loving me.”
“Did she tell you the truth about that? Did she really?”
“Yes,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. “As much as I might wish otherwise.”
“Funny, because she’s been crying herself to sleep every night.”
I stiffened. “Who told you that?”
“My friend is roommates with her friend, and she heard Taylor tell Anna she cries every night because she misses you.” Amanda shrugged. “So it seems to me she wasn’t so honest in the end after all, was she?”
“She cries herself to sleep?” I blinked. “Over me?”
She said nothing.
Just laughed.
I slid into my seat, unable to think about anything but Taylor crying. I didn’t want her to be sad, especially over me. I wasn’t worth it. But she’d told me she didn’t really want to be with me, that it had all been a matter of convenience. Had she lied to me? Did she actually care? If so, nothing would stop me from fixing what we’d broken.
Nothing.
Amanda rested her hand on my thigh, way too damn close to my cock. Panic pinched the corner of her lips into tight lines, maybe because she realized that in trying to diss Taylor, she’d basically told me Taylor still cared about me and ruined any chance she had of winning me back…which, ironically enough, she still thought she had. “Chase, forget about her. She’s not the girl for you. We should go out, and then—”
“Leave me alone, Amanda. I mean it this time.”
And then I slammed my car door shut, leaving her standing there with her mouth hanging open. Maybe she’d tell my father I was onto her. Maybe she wouldn’t.
To be honest, I didn’t give a damn.
The whole way to Taylor’s dorm, I rehearsed in my head what I was going to say. I came up with a perfect speech. I’d start slow and then ease my way into asking her if she truly cared about me, and if so, why she had lied, and then I’d beg for forgiveness if need be. But the second I walked up to her door and heard her voice, it was déjà vu all over again…because the door was open, and she was on the phone with my father.
“No, sir, we haven’t spoken.” A pause, and then. “I don’t care if you want him with Amanda, I told you the last time you asked, I will not pimp out your son, and I won’t do so…now…either.”
She’d turned around and trailed off upon seeing me. She bit her lip, listening to my father on the other end.
“Sir, I have held up my end of the bargain, and you need to hold up yours.” She hung up, even though I could hear my father still talking. Tossing her phone on the bed next to Mister Fluffybottom, she crossed the room. “You have a bad habit of eavesdropping.”
“You have a bad habit of leaving your door open,” I shot back. I pointed at the stuffed animal I’d spent hours combing the web for. “You kept him?”
“Of course I kept him.” She crossed her arms, stopping short of reaching distance. “What are you doing here, Chase?”
“I had to see you.”
She bit her lip, watching me closely. She wore a pair of jeans, a loose-fitting T-shirt, and a pair of Keds. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun, she had no makeup on, and she had bags under her eyes as if she hadn’t been sleeping well.
I hadn’t been sleeping well, either.
I missed her too much.
Did she miss me?
I tried to remember everything I’d rehearsed in the car on the way here, and even had the first sentence on the tip of my tongue, but when I opened my mouth, all that came out was: “Who’s threatening you?”
She laughed. “Still worked up about that?”
“Yes.” I locked eyes with her. “Who’s threatening you?”
“It’s nothing for you to worry about,” she said dismissively, waving a hand.
“That’s not an answer.” I walked up to her, backing her up until she stood her ground. It took three steps. “Who. Is. Threating. You?”
She tilted her chin up defiantly. “I don’t have to tell you. You’re not my boyfriend anymore. I don’t owe you anything.”
“Did you lie to me?”
She blinked at the change of subject. “About what?”
“About not caring.” I caught her chin, tipping her face toward mine. “Did you lie?”
She bit her lip, her nostrils flaring.
I could see the honesty inside her begging to come out, warring with the need for self-preservation, and I knew her answer before she even opened her mouth. “Did you lie to me about not caring if I was using you?”
“Yes,” I admitted without hesitation. “I did. I fucking care.”
She sucked in a breath.
“I can’t sleep without you,” I said without thinking. “Okay, wait, that’s dramatic. Obviously, I sleep, or I’d die.” I dragged a hand through my hair, laughing nervously because I was already off the script. “I try to fall asleep alone in my bed, and I eventually do pass out, but I’m restless. Lost.” I dropped my hands to my sides, fisting them. “I’m lost without you, Taylor.”
She swallowed hard.
“I never should have told you I’d be fine without you.” I uncurled my hands, then re-fisted them. “I’m not fine. I miss you, Taylor.”
She licked her lips. “I miss you, too,” she whispered.
My heart picked up speed. “Did you lie when you said you didn’t care about me?”
“Y-Yes.” She pushed her hair out of her face. “And, if we’re being honest, I’m a little angry you believed me so easily.”
“I’m sorry.” I took a step toward her. Just one tiny step. “I never should have, because I know you, and you aren’t like him. You’re not a liar who uses people to get your way.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not.”
“I know.” I stared at my feet. “I guess I just find it hard to believe someone like you could love someone like me.”
She stiffened. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re pure. Kind. Wholesome. Perfect.” I held my hands out at my sides. “I’m flawed. Damaged. Cold. Imperfect.”
Her lower lip trembled. “No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am, but you never saw me that way, which makes you even more pure.” I reached out and touched her cheek. “You’re everything I want to be, Taylor.”
She swayed toward me, closing her eyes. “Chase…”
“Why did you lie to me?” I skimmed my knuckles over her cheek. “I know there has to be a good reason.”
She shook her head, tears welling in her eyes.
“Please tell me why?” I asked, my heart squeezing tight because it was time to ask the question I’d been wanting to ask since the second I walked into her dorm. “I’m sick of half truths and second-guessing, so I’m going to be straightforward and honest here. I love you, Taylor. I’ve loved you almost my whole damn life, and I’ll probably always love you, even if you tell me to fuck off right here and now. I will do anything for you, fight anything for you, if you tell me what it is you’re fighting. I will hunt dragons, kill beasts—whatever the hell you need, I’m your man if you want me to be. The question is, do you feel that way, too? Will you fight for me?”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Taylor
My breath stuck in my throat because Chase was saying everything I’d hoped he would say the night it all fell apart, and it was everything I ever dreamed of. But that didn’t change the fact that if I opened my mouth, if I told him I loved him, I was putting my family in danger. If Mr. Maxwell found out…
Chase shifted nervously, looking at me with vulnerability and an openness I hadn’t seen from him since the night I told him I didn’t care about him.
I’d done the one thing I swore to myself I wouldn’t do.
Hurt him with lies.
There was no way I could do it again, so there was only one option here. 100 percent honesty. I took a deep breath, but it didn’t seem to reach my lungs. “You wanted to know who was threatening me?” I as
ked slowly, barely able to speak over the pulsing heartbeat echoing in my head.
I was about to drop a bomb on him he might not be ready for.
He hesitated. “Yes.”
“You have to promise to hear me out and not to run off to rescue me.”
He cocked his head. “I promise I’ll stay right here and hear you out.”
“Your father is threatening me.” I peeked at him, and he’d stiffened, but looked as if he was listening. “He told me if I broke his rules, if I stepped out of line, he’d stop paying for my schooling, fire my parents, and kick them out of the house.”
His lip curled slightly, but he remained still otherwise. This was a good start. I’d been worried he wouldn’t hear me out, and would go right into knight-in-shining-armor mode. “And his rules were?”
“Not to get together with you.” I swallowed. “When he found out that we were together, I told him that it was all an act, a way to keep you in line, because I didn’t want him to find out the truth and punish my parents.”
He fisted his hands. “So what I heard…”
“Was a lie to him, not you.” I hesitated. “But he had someone on the inside, and he heard that you were still ‘with’ me. He wanted you away from me so you could date a suitable candidate, so he ordered me to break off the ‘fake’ relationship.”
“Jesus.” He closed his eyes for a second. “And his inside man, the one who was telling him all this shit, it’s Amanda, isn’t it?”
I flinched. “I believe so, yes. He told me that she wanted to get back together with you and I was in the way, so that needed to end.” I reached out and touched his arm. It was stiff under my palm. “I’m sorry. I know how much she means to you.”
He narrowed his eyes at my hand, then turned them on me. “She means nothing to me.”
I blinked. “But—”
“She’s nothing. No one.” He cupped my cheek. “You’re the one who matters. You’re the only damn thing that matters to me, Taylor.”
My heart wrung tight, squeezing in my chest until I couldn’t breathe. “So that’s why I said those things. That’s why I broke it off. When you said you didn’t care, that you wouldn’t miss me…” I shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “I wasn’t going to fight for something if it wasn’t real, and risk my parents’ livelihood over something ‘fun.’”
The Backup Plan (Back in the Game) Page 18