“Well, that’s as maybe. It’s done now. I’ve confessed and I’ll take what’s coming.”
Carl wanted it kept neat and tidy. He deserved to be punished and as long as all those he’d affected (who were still alive), even Nathan, were free to carry on, it would be a worthwhile penance.
But Carly wasn’t letting go. She beat her fist on the old wooden table, and had to immediately remove a splinter. It didn’t distract her. “Why are you letting Nathan get away with blamin’ you for all of this? Mum is sure he’s lying and I know you, Dad. You might lose it for, like, a minute, but following Nathan all the way to the park?”
It was no use. She needed a more honest explanation. He ran his hands up and down his stubbly face, and provided a more honest analysis.
“Look, Carly, I’m the one who messed up big time. I did wrong by you, I did wrong by Janice, Martin Miller might be dead because of me and I did hit Nathan. Everything has happened because of me. I don’t want to drag anybody else down.”
“What about me, if you go to prison?”
Carl’s first priority was his daughter. He responded immediately, because Carly’s future had been his main concern before deciding to plead guilty. “I’m hoping you’ll have your mum back. She’s leaving Gary, she can have our old place. Maybe it’s best that I’m kept away from you.”
“No, Dad, don’t say that. What you did to me was wrong, but I should have stopped you. I could have…”
He wanted to cry, he didn’t deserve her loyalty, her love. But he kept focused and calm. “This is the point. You still blame yourself. I’m the adult and I should have known better. You deserve better.”
“But, Dad…”
“Not only you. Janice doesn’t deserve her name being dragged through the mud either. I need to do the right thing here, Carly. Let me take what’s coming.”
Carly sat back on the stool, this time maintaining her balance.
“But you could get five years for this Dad.”
“If I’m lucky, coz it’s a first offence, and I’ve confessed, I won’t have to do too much time.”
Still, Carly, pleaded with him. “Dad, it isn’t fair. You didn’t do this. Why take the blame?”
“Please, Carly. I just want this to be sorted. If there is one good thing that can come out of this mess, it’s that you and me are OK and that you get back on the rails. I know that you’ll be OK with your mum, if and when I’m sent away. As long as you’re OK, I can get through this.”
“Dad, I promise. I’ll do whatever it takes.” Carly wiped her eyes, and then reached to hold her Dad’s hand. “Dad, why are you smiling?”
“Smiling at you. Normally you spend hours on your hair and make up but you look completely bedraggled and your mascara is running. Still my beautiful daughter though.”
“What do you expect, Dad? It’s pouring down outside.”
“That’s the problem with this time of year. It always bloody rains in November.”
It Always Rains in November Page 26