by Michelle Lee
“Well, I hate to disappoint you, but I’m not going anywhere. Not unless Dash wants me to, and from where I’m sitting, I don’t see that happening in the foreseeable future. So retract your claws, and keep your fucking distance. Got it?”
“Ouch… touchy. The sooner you wise up, the better it will be, especially for you. Dash Ford knows where he belongs and who he belongs with, and soon enough he’ll realize it’s not you, and when he does, like I said before, I’ll be waiting.”
And before I could get another word out she slithers back to the hole she crawled out of. I feel my whole body shaking and so want to go after her, pull her by her long fucking perfect hair, and beat the living shit out of her. But, I’m frozen in my spot, seething.
“Hey, you okay?” a voice breaks through.
“Um, yeah, oh Alex, hi.” Great—just what I need. They seem to be coming out of the woodwork today.
“Is everything okay? I saw Nadia walk away,” he asks, concerned.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I shake my head, trying to wipe away the seething anger building inside.
Where the fuck is Val? How long does it take the fucking girl to pee?
“So,” he begins.
I don’t respond. I simply turn away and try to focus on Dash, whose back is currently turned to me.
“About that kiss,” he continues.
I’ve had enough. “Look, Alex, that kiss meant nothing and should have never happened. What you may think you felt or I felt is complete bullshit. I am with Dash, and I don’t plan on going anywhere. So if you value your life, I suggest you stay the fuck away from me.”
“Whoa, whoa, I only wanted to…” he starts to defend, his arms up as if he’s surrendering.
“Wanted to what? Just… just go… I don’t want to hear what you have to say because what you say won’t negate the fact that it happened and that you… never mind, just go.”
“Fine.” He stomps off like some little boy who didn’t get his way. Good. I am on a freaking roll. Why can’t I have this confidence all the time? It would certainly help me out time and time again.
With impeccable timing, Val decides to make her presence known. “What the hell is his problem?” She thumbs over her shoulder, motioning toward Alex’s retreating form.
“Nothing. Just… nothing.”
“Oh, Jules. Flies to honey. Flies to honey.”
“What are you talking about?” I look at her as if she has twelve heads.
“Nothing. Clueless. Anyway, I’ve got to go. You would think my obligation is to the guys, but sadly it’s not. Sadly.” I notice her gaze look to the stage, her eyes lingering on Vic. She clears her throat. “Okay, so we will catch up later. Love ya, toots.” She gives me a quick hug and then is gone.
I continue to watch Dash and the guys rehearse. Dash’s eyes find mine, and he gives me my favorite smile. Right now… at this moment… all is right with my world. I wonder how long it will last?
IT’S BEEN A week. Dash is still here. We haven’t really had the chance to talk about things yet, since he’s been busy with rehearsing and promoting the benefit. We may not see each other during the day, but we’ve spent every night together. I love the night. It’s become my favorite part of the day. Before, I hated night. I was alone and that’s when, in the past, dreams became nightmares. But no longer. I love the night.
I am currently on the back of Dash’s motorcycle, my arms wrapped tightly around his waist, my fingers massaging the contours of his stomach and chest. I love the way he feels under my hands, my fingers. With every touch and press of my fingers, Dash’s muscles constrict and his breathing picks up. I love that I have that effect on him. He has the same effect on me. Even though he’s not touching me—I’m the one touching him—I feel my heart jump in my chest and pump wildly. And it’s not because I am on the back of a motorcycle where I could potentially fall off to my death. It’s him. It’s always him. It will always be him.
Dash effortlessly guides the bike around corner after corner before we approach the road to his house. I love his house. I can almost see myself living there with him. Creating a life… a family. But I can’t think that way. Too many what ifs plague me, and I don’t want to either get my hopes up or rush things. I like where we are in this moment in time. Hold on to the present and worry about the future later. That’s been my motto lately. Hold on to the present. Live in it. Cherish it. Worry about the future later.
The bike slows as we turn into the driveway. The night air is crisp, the wind stirs the trees outlining the property, and the moon shines brightly in the dark, cloudless sky. I swing my leg off the bike, my body still vibrating with aftershocks. Dash follows suit. He takes off his helmet, and I am mesmerized. It’s almost as if he’s moving in slow motion. The helmet lifts off, he shakes his head, and the moonlight captures the glint in his eyes as he turns his attention toward me. His legs are spread apart, his leather jacket fitting snuggly on his broad shoulders, his jeans fitting snuggly everywhere. My heart double, no triple pumps in my chest. He steps forward after placing his helmet down on the seat. My breathing stops. He continues to take deliberate steps toward me, as if he’s on the prowl and I’m his prey. Dash’s tentative strides quickly eat up the distance between us and then he’s standing right in front of me. My heart thumps against my rib cage, ready to burst out of my chest. His hands reach up to remove my helmet. My breath hitches. My hair swirls around my face, sticking against my skin here and there. His finger reaches out, brushing the stray hairs out of my face. Silence echoes around and between us. My breathing hitches as just the tip of his finger grazes my cheek. My insides light up, and a fire blazes in my belly. He leans forward, his lips so close that if I were to pucker up, we would be kissing. His lips, however, have another plan and trail along my jawline until they reach my ear.
“You look beyond fucking sexy right now. I’m going to take you inside, rip every stitch of clothing off of you, and then…” His breath tickles my ear as he pauses, causing my body to shudder. “And then I’m going to lick every inch of you, tasting you, savoring you like one of those fine wines you drink. And then…”
Another shudder.
“And then I’m going to fuck you so hard and deep. I’m going to fuck you over and over until we both forget our names.” Before he pulls away, he takes my earlobe between his teeth and tugs, the action sending shock waves of lust through my entire being. My thighs clench on their own fruition. Every sense is heightened and every nerve is on rapid fire trying to process every sensation his words, his voice, the close proximity of his body has sent my way. I’m ready to combust.
With cat-like reflexes, Dash intertwines his fingers with mine, pulling up the path to the front door. I double step in order to keep up. He abruptly stops at the door, and I stop myself before slamming into his back. Dash bends down and picks up a manila envelope that is on the doormat. I peer around him to get a look at it. I notice his name scrawled in messy handwriting across the front with the word “Important” written in bold red. To say my curiosity is piqued would be an understatement. Dash slips the envelope under his arm and unlocks the door, pushing it open. Never does his hand leave mine.
The door closes behind me and then I’m pressed up against it—Dash’s hard body against my aching one. His knee nudges between my legs. The envelope drops to the floor as Dash’s hands clasp both of mine and slowly, ever so slowly, bring them up above my head. He lets go with one hand while the other pins my hands against the door. I am at his mercy. With his fingers extended he trails them down my arm, along my ribcage before his hand settles on my waist. His index finger slides under the waistband of my jeans, trailing over to the button, popping it open. My zipper eases down. With deft skills, he slides my jeans down my legs. I wiggle them down my calves and kick them away once they reach my feet. My panties easily find their way to my jeans. His fingers trace my belly button briefly before I hear his zipper go down; his other hand continues to pin mine above me. Then I feel his hard length r
ight there. “This is going to be hard, fast, and dirty, Sunshine. I need to be inside you. I can’t wait.” Before the last syllable leaves his lips, Dash slams into me, and my back smacks the door.
“Uhhhh, I’m good… good with that…” The words are hard to get out as Dash continues to pound in and out of me. When he said this was going to be hard, fast, and dirty, he wasn’t kidding.
“God, I fucking love being inside you,” he grunts out as he pushes deeper inside me.
Dash lets my hands go. “Don’t move them. Keep them there.”
I do as he asks as he brings both his hands around underneath me, lifting me up, pressing further into me. This new leverage and angle has him hitting me deep and in that spot. I had always thought that spot was a myth, but apparently Dash is a myth buster. I toss my head back. It bangs against the wood door and even though it will hurt later, right now I could care less. “God, Dash…”
“I know, baby, I know.”
His hips pick up their rhythm… faster… harder… our panting breaths fill the air, along with grunts, groans, and moans. His mouth devours mine in a burning, can’t-get-enough-of-you way. I devour him right back.
“Sunshine, bring your hands down. Touch yourself… fucking… touch… yourself.”
I do, and the instant my fingers find my clit, it’s swollen and throbbing. One swirl, and I’m spiraling into my orgasm. It overtakes my entire body. If Dash wasn’t holding me up, I would be on the floor. With a few more thrusts, Dash’s own orgasm takes him, and the look on his face is glorious. His teeth hold his bottom lip between them, the muscles in his neck straining, but his eyes, oh my, his eyes are a midnight blue and are focused on me. We ride out the tail end of our orgasms together. I’ve never felt something so strong for someone in my whole life. It goes beyond love. I don’t think there are even words for it yet.
“I… I love you so much, Dash. But that’s not enough… it will never be enough…”
The lusty haze in his eyes fades into something deeper, something more. “It’s the same for me, Sunshine… it’s the same for me.”
With me still in his arms, Dash bends down to pick up our discarded clothes, then takes me into the bedroom room. He settles on the bed with me still in his arms, our clothes discarded on the floor once again. “That…” he points over his shoulder in the direction of the living room “… was fast and hard. But this…” he points to the bed and then between us “… will be slow and tender.”
And just like he said it was.
I’M CUDDLED UP on the couch while Dash is in the kitchen getting us drinks and a snack. I hadn’t realized we had skipped dinner. I told him I could whip something up for us to eat, but he insisted I sit back and relax—regain my energy, I would need it later—and he would take care of everything.
“Hey, Jules, could you go and grab that envelope I dropped by the door when…” he calls from the kitchen.
“When you thoroughly fucked me fast and hard?” I call back, getting off the couch.
“And dirty. You forgot dirty.”
How could I forget?
I find the envelope right where he dropped it. Picking it up, I notice it’s not heavy. In fact, it’s rather light. Heading back to the living room, I find Dash waiting on the couch with a glass of wine in each hand and a gourmet cheese plate on the table. I raise a questioning eyebrow at him. “What can I say? Your wine expertise and appreciation is rubbing off.” He shrugs, handing me the wine while I hand him the envelope.
As I’m reaching for a cube of cheese, I hear Dash rip open the envelope. When I lean back against the couch and look at him, his eyes are frozen on the envelope’s contents. Looking closer at him, I notice his jaw is clenched, his nostrils are flared, and whatever he is holding is lucky it isn’t breakable because he has a death grip on it—his knuckles are pure white.
“Dash?”
He doesn’t answer. He just closes his eyes, taking a deep breath in and then letting it out slowly. “Dash?” Just as I reach my hand toward him, he flies off the couch, throwing the envelope and its contents down on the table. Taking my eyes off of him, I turn my attention to the table, and that’s when I see it. A picture of me and Alex—a picture of him kissing me. I reach for it with shaky hands. I stare at it and stare at it. The picture looks like it was taken within the hotel lobby. There’s a plant leaf in the corner of the image, so I assume the person who took it was hiding behind one of the potted plants that adorned the lobby. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe someone took a picture of this. What am I saying? Of course I can believe it. There were cameras everywhere anytime the guys stepped out of the elevator. I just figured by that point I was old news, but obviously I was wrong. I drop the picture back on the table and turn to Dash, who is standing by the slider doors that lead out to the back yard. His fingers are laced together behind his head. I walk over to him and stand behind him, close but not close enough. I’m afraid to touch him only because I’m scared if I do, he will shrug my touch off and I would die if he did that to me.
We stand there for a few minutes, neither of us saying anything. I can make out his reflection in the glass. His eyes are closed. His breathing even. I break the silence. “Dash, don’t…”
I notice his eyes flash open. “Don’t what? Don’t jump to conclusions like you did when you saw pictures of me with Nadia? Is that what you were going to say?”
“Honestly?”
“That would work.”
“Honestly, I had no idea what I was going to say.”
“Well, let me say it for you.” Dash turns around, facing me. My heart is in my stomach. This is it. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for. But I’m different, and I will fight tooth and nail for this man. I nod, wrapping my arms around my waist.
Dash steps forward so we are toe to toe. His hand reaches up and caresses my cheek. I welcome the sensation, leaning into it. “I’m not.”
I must have the most confused look on my face, because if it matches the confusion on the inside, it must look like a confused mess on the outside. “I’m not jumping to conclusions. You know why?”
I shake my head; words are failing me at the moment.
“First, I know my Sunshine. And I know how much she loves me. But what I also know is what my eyes see. And what they see in that fucking picture is a woman not kissing back a man. I see a woman appalled that another man’s lips are touching hers. I see a woman pushing back, but without much success.”
Before I can respond, he continues, “You know what else I see?”
Again, I just shake my head.
“The truth.” Dash pulls me into a hug, and I easily go. I can’t believe he’s being so… so… calm and perfect about this. I shouldn’t be surprised, though. Dash has always had more faith in us since the beginning, before I did.
Tenderly, Dash kisses the top my head. Before he pulls away, he says, “I also see a dead man.” He leaves me standing there, going to the table and picking up the picture. “I see a fucking dead man.” He throws the picture down. If it were something breakable, I have a feeling it would be in a million pieces right now.
I rush over to him. “Dash, don’t… it didn’t mean… he didn’t hurt me. We’re good, right? We’re good.” I can hear the quiver in my voice.
Dash notices it too, because his whole demeanor changes as he takes my face in his hands. “I love you, and no one or nothing is ever going to change that, are we clear?”
“Yes.”
“Good. But that…” He points to the picture. “That is a snake trying to take what’s mine. And I don’t fucking share. You’re mine.”
“I’m yours. Only yours. Always yours.”
“But that fucker is going to pay. Why would he think he could…” He paces a small space in the living room.
“Dash, I swear I never encouraged him. I didn’t even know he was around half the time, and honestly I forgot who he was.”
Dash is in front of me in a flash. “Oh my God, Jules, I wasn’t imply
ing… no, that’s not… baby, I know you would never do anything to encourage anyone… well, except for me, but that’s not what I was going to say. Alex has always been a good guy. He’s been on the security team for over a year. I just… I didn’t think he would ever…”
“I’m sorry.”
“Baby, there’s nothing to be sorry for. Alex, on the other hand, has much to be sorry for, and he will be.” Dash walks off into the kitchen, and when he comes back into the room, he has his cell phone to his ear.
I look at him questioningly. He pulls the phone away. “I’m calling Russell.”
I nod. Good. This is good. Russell will be able to talk him down and hopefully take care of the situation. God, I hope so.
IT TOOK A lot of talking on Russell’s part, but he calmed Dash down and promised to take care of the situation. That was five days ago. I haven’t heard anything about it since. Once again, Dash and the guys have been doing more rehearsing and promoting for the benefit concert they are a part of. They have also headed into the studio to lay down some tracks for their next album. We’ve caught each other on the phone here and there. Tonight he says he’s coming over to my place, and we are turning off all phones and tuning out the rest of the world while we get wrapped up in each other. A perfect evening.
I haven’t heard anything from Blake since last time, and it’s making me nervous. I’m just afraid he’s going to pop out somewhere, although part of me feels he’s keeping a low profile and being Chef Becc. No one knows that Chef Becc is Blake, and I’m sure he wants to keep it that way. If the authorities ever found out, he would be arrested on the spot. I know it’s what I should do, let the police, let those two detectives know that Becc is Blake, but every time I think of doing it, his words come back with a vengeance. I just can’t risk it. I can’t risk something happening to Dash. Russell hasn’t brought it up again, but the few times I’ve seen him, he gives me a knowing look. A questioning look. I just shake my head, and he always looks disappointed and frustrated.