by Zach Tate
“I funded the sting. Provided the work money, paid the nut for the office space, the employees, and the whole nine yards, cuz. Had me a sure ‘nuff company working right in the same building I was selling. All that was left for me to do was find a partner, do a hook up by forming a drag team with him, and then we could pull off a double-O. You know, a scam that needs two men like the ones we do. Since I knew his strength was charm and elevating the mark with it, I picked Russ. I needed a White boy so I picked Snow, another one of my students. As a matter of fact, he was the cat that looked like a Jew with the locks and all that at Russ’s party?”
The light bulb went off in my head and I nodded for Yoda to continue.
“So I set up the cross that the Jap had to come to the firm to see what we had to offer. Snow set up a tour of the building while elevating the man for the sting. Once the money was sent certified, Russ had to come in to do the pin and the blow off. The man was ready to do business. We told him that he had to give us a million that day so I could grease the wheels. Then ten million in ten days to show the bank that he was a serious bidder. Right there on the spot, the man made a call so that the certified check for a mill could be at our pseudo office that afternoon. I gave him specs, appraisals, blueprints of the building, and a fake note of occupancy. All the work material was there. When I was ready to cut loose, I took the lame to Desanko’s to eat. I left that vic at the table drinking Saki while I was out the back door. The con went smoother than a new Continental on a new street. When it was time to do the split, the so-called king, Money Russ, ran off with his wife, Dot, and dropped a triple cross on me. Right when I was ready to square up. I figured God didn’t want me to, so now I’m stuck with you, Foolio.”
“He beat you out of a million dollars and you ain’t bust a cap in his ass?” I asked in anger.
Yoda cleared his throat and spoke like a philosopher. “Men are important only in relation to other men, based on their usefulness in the service they provide. Unless you understand that completely, you ain’t gone get nothing but one form of misery or another. Stop thinking like a lame. I told you before, never put your trust in anybody, how’d you think I learned that? He was the only student to cross me, but he may not be the last. This is the game, and in the game you don’t cross, you double cross. The only difference is, Russ did a triple cross, and I got to hold that. If you don’t like the rules, cuz, don’t play the game. Russ is rich now, and money has a way of making people forget things. They forgot how they got it, and how they lived before they had it. Always expect the cross. Know the game. Don’t get mad, get even!”
Just when I thought I had a grip on things, Yoda’s story revealed a whole new side of the hustle. Before hearing that story, I didn’t think I had it in me to con someone out of a million, but it inspired me to never put a limit on myself.
“All right, that’s enough day dreaming. We got work to do. I’m glad you wore that suit ‘cause you gonna need it.” Yoda called me over while picking up the radios. “Cuz, you gonna wear the receiver after the first vic, and then the mike on the next one when you play the mark. All I need you to do is stand by me at Play Land and watch me work. You got the finesse thing down naturally, so watch me move. When you pick a mark, check the shoes, the jewels and the moves. Once you flash that advertisement over there, he’s gonna let you know he’s a mark, cuz. You ready to do this?”
I nodded. I wasn’t sure what we were going to do, but I was damn sure gonna watch and listen while Yoda went to work.
$$$
Yoda was dressed in yet another one of his three-piece, pin stripped suits. I wore a Ralph Lauren number, which the two queers picked up for me. Dressed like bankers, we left the Carter with briefcases in hand and stopped on the corner of 43rd Street at the Play Land video arcade.
Yoda was giving me the rundown of the con for the last time when a tall Black man, about 6’3”, with a tapered beard and small scheming eyes headed our way. The stranger wore a green tracksuit with work boots. His green baseball cap was turned to the back. He did a ditty-bop when he bounced our way. A lit cigar hung from his mouth when he narrowly walked between us, trespassing our personal space. My defenses went up, but when I looked down, the man had a clear plastic bag in his hand. It was filled with a pound of hamster food, birdseeds, boxes of green tea, cans of roach spray, and white tubes of Elmer's glue.
“What?” Yoda asked the man while turning his palms up in question.
In a hoarse voice the man’s lively voice said, “Phill with Bills got a bunch of vics, and I need to do a hook up to pull it off. You know they got a rock concert at the Intrepid Museum all day right? So what up Gee?”
Yoda looked at me, and then at the man. “Foolio, you interrupted my schooling for a petty drug sale? Cuz, I’m working on a sting, so vamoose before you chase my marks away.”
The man nodded then bounced his head to his own beat. He pointed to me with his chin. In his rapid tone he asked, “Who the new Griff?”
Yoda shook his head in annoyance. He looked at me, and then at the man. “Phill with bills, this is Johnny Hustle.”
The man grabbed my hand, shook it vigorously, and did a two step. “And before you ask, Phill got bills so he need to make a mill, and that’s why they call meeee, Phill with bills. How you? John-kneee Hustle?”
I shook my head, showing I shared Yoda’s annoyance. Phill got the picture and removed himself from our sight.
“What’s up with that joker?” I asked Yoda who looked more annoyed than I did.
He exhaled with patience. “That’s Phill with bills, as you now know. He runs the drug hustle on the deuce to them rich White kids that be coming down here. He sell dummies and beat rock.” Yoda saw that I didn’t understand, so he sighed and rolled his eyes. “Beat rock. Fake Crack that’s really one part coke and ten parts baking soda. Fake cocaine that’s really synthetic Procaine. Fake PCP that’s really mint leaves with 7-Up on it. Fake heroin, that’s one percent with a thousand cuts to it.” Yoda’s eyes went up in his head and he counted with his fingers. “Pills, that’s aspirin. That hamster food and birdseed you seen in the bag? He throws it all in a bucket, drops a bunch of Elmer's glue in there, and sprays it down with roach spray, mixes it with the green tea, and then bags it up into buds of look-a-like weed for fifty a pop. The fool got some customers that come back to him all night before they realize they beat. He even gets paid off selling kilos that trash. If he get popped, the fake dope goes to the police lab, and he gets off, Scott free.”
I had a lot to learn.
“Now, back to what I was saying!” Yoda yelled. “Sit over there across the street and watch me work. Listen to the earpiece carefully. You up next.”
I grabbed my briefcase and headed across the street to the Newsday building at the Allied Chemical Tower in the middle of Times Square. Right under the zipper where lies flash for the public. I plugged the earpiece in.
“Can you hear me? If you can, pull on your earlobe,” Yoda instructed. Hearing him loud and clear, I gave Yoda the signal.
From my Birdseye view, Yoda pulled out the wallet and cautiously allowed the photos to hang in full display. In my ear, I heard him advertising his product. “Little boys—little girls. Little boys-little girls.”
Things started clicking in my head, but I didn’t put it all together. I watched as three men and one woman approached Yoda; he turned them all away. “Little fish, we need the big fish, cuz,” rang in my ear when the people walked away.
After sitting for an hour, a limousine pulled up and the window went down. The car was blocking my view, but I could slightly hear a customer ask, “You got flesh?”
“Little boys and little girls! Take your pick.” Yoda leaned against the car while his eyes darted around, feigning panic.
Yoda handed the man the wallet. I could hear when the man said, “I want this one right here.”
“The little Black boy?” Yoda ask smoothly. “Okay, but I gotta wake him up, he’s nice and tight too. Ditch the ride a
nd be here alone, in five minutes. I got the room. You got an hour to spend unless you want to make it an all day thing?”
The customer in the limousine agreed to Yoda’s terms. Yoda cut the corner and said into my ear, “I’m walking to the Carter just to make it look good. In case he doesn’t know what five minutes means. This is called leading the mark. I’m in the lobby now, but I’m heading back your way.”
The customer appeared before Yoda did. He looked impatient. From across the street, I could see that he had a pocket full of money. Then I wondered if it was better to just dig his pockets instead of going through the whole set up? But I was there to learn, not to make suggestions.
Yoda reappeared in front of the arcade. He and the kiddy freak walked in the direction of the Carter. “What’s the damage?” the vic asked.
“Five bills flat, room included for a short stay. Pay up front, and if your money is short, take a walk.”
“No-no-no. Here’s the cash. Is he a virgin? The last one I had in the Village was all abused,” came from the vic.
“Well, you never been here before and you’ll see that my meat is fresh. Just don’t get crazy if you want this thing to work. I ain’t got a license you know. As a matter of fact, you a cop?” Yoda drilled the man, knowing that by law a police officer had to give a round about answer, or it was considered entrapment.
“Heck no, I’m trying to get laid, guy. Give me a break. You’ll get no hassle out of me.”
Once they were in the lobby, Yoda handed the man a key and said. “One thirteen. I’ll be right there. Let me call the kid down from upstairs and tell him to take a shower and grease up before he comes down for you.” The customer dashed to the room and Yoda said, “Listen, Johnny, the vic is upstairs. I already got his money. We got to stick this sick weirdo for all we can,” Yoda laughed into the microphone. “We need to beat his ass, but I prefer to beat his pockets. Now listen up.”
Yoda whispered to me that he was going into the room with an envelope in hand, next he was walking past the vic into the bathroom to set a tub.
“Alright, man,” Yoda started his hustle. “The kid will be here in five minutes. Put all your valuables into this envelope. I need to mark the big bills so that the clerk at the lobby doesn’t try any funny stuff. If you need one hour cleaning for your clothes, let me know now. In the meantime, take a bath, wait in the tub if you want, and little Tiger will be down. Come on, and let’s get it over with.”
“My valuables? Why do I have to give all my valuables to you to get laid? What is this?” the vic asked.
Yoda sighed. “Look man, I told you not to be wasting my damn time. If you go too deep in little Tiger and rip him open, are you ready to deal with the consequences of him cutting your throat for your possessions? Look buddy, you look well hung. It’s your pecker, life, and valuables at stake. As a matter of fact, for you playing with my profession, leave them on while I go get Tiger.”
The vic was convinced. “No-no-no. Here, let me send all this stuff down to the clerk with you.”
I found out later that the man removed his diamond encrusted Gucci watch, his diamond pinky ring, and a gold-nugget bracelet. His wallet was filled with credit, ATM, and bankcards. He slipped them into the envelope with the jewels, and Yoda counted out $5,300 in cash. When the transactions were done, Yoda elevated the vic.
“Give it three minutes and try not to make him scream too much. He doesn’t like that. I need to use him for later, so take it easy. When you’re all done, get your things from the clerk at the desk.”
Yoda walked out of the room. When the door slammed shut with the vic inside, Yoda spoke into the mike. “Johnny, meet me at the front of the Carter.”
When I reached the lobby, Yoda was on the phone telling the vic that the boy took too long in the shower, but he was on his way. Yoda counted out $5,800 and handed me two grand.
We left the Carter, did the routine of going to see Marcy and Elexus, and then dropped the rest off at Proverb’s. He gave us $2,000 for the jewels. Half of that came to me. As it stood, I had $41,000 in that store. I was ready to take things to another level.
$$$
Yoda and I switched radios, pinning the mike inside my lapel. In an effort to avoid the disgruntled vic that Yoda robbed and who Suki was threatening to call the police on, Yoda walked across the street to the Florshiems shoe store. He had a seat, ready to give me directions from the window.
I stood in front of Play Land, following Yoda’s routine.
“Hey guy, you see a Black guy out here selling kids?” asked the vic Yoda had just robbed.
I needed to get rid of him. I yelled at the top of my lungs, “You sick child molester! I ought ‘a call the cops you sick perverted bastard!”
Before all the words left my mouth, the vic ran down the street and into the subway. I guess he was going to hop the turn style and take the train home like the rest us poor folk.
With the coast clear, I flashed the wallet full of photos. I checked the mike to make sure it was working, Yoda signaled by pulling on his ear lobe, and I was set to go. I did my tune of advertising, “Little boys…little girls.”
A couple of filthy types came up to me looking to get laid; I turned them away. After sitting for another fifteen minutes, a White woman walked up to me.
“Pink Lips?” she asked.
I looked at the woman, eyeing the giant heart-shaped rock in the ring on her finger, the two tennis bracelets on her wrist, and her expensive shoes. In a whisper, I asked, “Is she serious?” and almost turned her away. I glanced across the street, where Yoda was damn near yanking his ear off. The words “Action” went off in my head.
“Step this way,” I invited her.
Filled with paranoia, she looked around nervously. “I need to do this, but I never did this before on the street. What’s it cost? A grand for a few hours?”
I didn’t like the vibes I felt, so I asked, “You a cop?”
“Jesus, no. I’m a schoolteacher. I just need to fill these urges. I know you get my type all the time because one of my co-workers sent me. She told me to bring a grand,” she said with confidence. Then she looked around like she was better than the rest of the scum on the street. “So, where do we go? Those little girls at school have me horny as hell, and I need to make it home to my husband in a few hours. Let’s make this quick.”
I sadly walked the talkative woman around the corner. I thought about Keiki and Mimi, and how the people we trusted the most with children were the ones that had to be watched even closer. When we reached the lobby of the Carter, I looked over at Suki. She had her hand to her mouth laughing at the vic with her husband.
I handed the key to the woman. While we were in the elevator she said, “I know you understand, that’s why I told you my business. Half of the schoolteachers love ‘em young. That’s why we work there, but I’m tired of doing my neighbor’s kid. Plus she’s getting older, so I came down here.”
The anger in me was about to take over, but I remembered I had a job to do. “You got the money?”
She handed me ten. $100 bills. I opened my briefcase. When I removed the envelope and told her the rules and precautions, she impatiently handed over all of her valuables.
She licked her lips like I was offering dessert. “How long before I will be able to taste her?”
“She’ll be here shortly,” I answered, trying to keep my composure.
That was one hustle I was gonna have a hard time doing in the future. I wanted to kick the lady’s head in.
I told her to stay there, placed the envelope with her valuables into her Coach pocketbook, and then I headed out the door. I didn’t call the vic on the phone. I didn’t follow the script. I called Yoda around because I was fighting my desire to rid the world of one less child molester.
After Marcy doctored the lady’s driver’s license in one of the ID shops on the Deuce, and emptied her bank accounts, we cleared another five grand. On that split, Marcy kept $2,000, I took $3,000 and Yoda got $2,0
00. As for the woman’s jewelry? It was cleaned, shined, and placed in the window of Proverb’s shop for a smaller fee.
$$$
It was Yoda’s turn. He was hyped about milking the kiddy freaks of their money. Sitting on a crate under the canopy of Proverb’s shop, I looked out for the schoolteacher I conned as I listened to Yoda work.
He didn’t have too much time to set up before he was approached. A tall, lanky, red-headed man with glasses walked up to Yoda and handed him $700. After Yoda interrogated the man, he took him around the corner for a room. Something was wrong. But since the man told Yoda that he wanted a young boy, I figured the man was just another creepy freak that we were going to rob.
Yoda called me around. Marcy and Elexus were outside waiting for the credit cards. When Yoda came back down with the man’s money, he split the short grand the man had in his wallet, along with the one ATM card, and headed back upstairs. He had no reason to go back. Something told me to go with him, or to stop him. That day I ignored my intuition for the very last time.
It was during the city’s rush hour when Yoda went back into the room. Through my earpiece, I could hear Yoda say, “Alright man, she’ll be down in a second.”
Everything went smooth. Then suddenly, I heard Yoda scream out in agony through my earpiece.
I didn’t witness the event, but Yoda told me he turned his back on the vic, and the man revealed a mouth full of Vampire fangs and tried to bite Yoda. When that didn’t work, the vic pulled out a knife and stabbed him. Reaching for his belt buckle, the freak put the bloody knife to Yoda’s throat as he tried to bite Yoda again. It turns out that there were Vampire cults all over America that targeted young children in Times Square, and still do. The twisted freak wanted to suck Yoda’s blood and then rape him.