He fussed a little more, and I began to pace the floor, hoping to give Elizabeth a few more minutes sleep.
I lifted him to nuzzle his cheek. “Why don’t we go check on your big sister?” I murmured at the softness of his skin.
I chuckled low when his mouth bobbed at my cheek, rooting, seeking, exploring. Tiny fingernails scratched at my face, their dig like an embrace that went straight to my heart. I kissed the tips of his fingers as they tugged at my lips.
I crept from mine and Elizabeth’s room, through the living space, to the other end of the house. Lizzie’s door sat partially open, the nightlight that glowed from within illuminating her precious face in subdued light.
She was fast asleep, lost in her dreams, that sweet face relaxed as she rested on her pillow, her hair billowing out behind her.
I nudged the door farther open, walked to her side, and brushed my fingers through my daughter’s silky black hair.
This little girl who had once stopped me in my tracks with a penetrating gaze and a tiny smile that had undone something in me. The one who had covered me in awareness, the one who’d sent love rushing in.
This child, the one who had been mine and Elizabeth’s breaking point, the one who had also been our start. The catalyst with her knowing eyes and tender heart.
She was the one who had changed the selfish person I was.
I’d never stop wishing I could go back and change it. Getting to experience this with Myles…I’d never really known just how much I’d missed. And I missed it. Wished for it. That I could hold Lizzie as a baby.
In the depths of sleep, she released a soft sigh, an emotion that was palpable as it wound with my heart, like maybe this intuitive child understood.
All I had was today, and I chose to love her with every second, with every breath.
Leaning down, I swept a small kiss across Lizzie’s cheek.
She was the most amazing big sister, too, the way I’d always imagined she’d be. She couldn’t wait for Myles to get a little older, to hear the first of his laughter, to watch his first smile grace his face. She couldn’t wait for him to play.
I hugged my six-week-old son a little closer to me, willing time to slow. I’d learned to cherish each day, and I wished none of them away.
He fussed, and a tiny cry gurgled from his trembling mouth, his toothless gums exposed.
My chest tightened, affection pressed.
Was it strange I thought it the cutest thing?
I whispered to Lizzie, “Goodnight, princess,” then kissed her again before I lifted Myles to the center of my chest. He curled his legs up under him, tucked into a tiny ball. I patted his back as I walked back through the house, pressed my lips to the crown of his head.
I entered back into the muted light and looked down to where my wife lay. Awake, she was on her side, facing me. A sleepy smile spread along her gorgeous mouth.
“I thought I heard him crying. Is he hungry?”
I nodded with a smirk, my palm a caress at the back of his head. “Apparently this little guy likes you as much as I do.”
Her smile transformed as a blush crawled across her face, the sweet innocence that had stolen my heart hinting at her cheeks. “He does, huh? Well, I kind of like him, too.”
With our son in my arms, I placed a knee on the mattress and climbed to the bed. I passed Myles to her, and she welcomed him into her arms.
Light filled her face. Intense, radiant light. It shined with love. With joy.
Still lying on her side, she nestled him against her, lifted her arm over her head as she bunched up her shirt so Myles could find her breast.
He curled back into that tiny ball, his fingers fisted in her shirt. He grunted, jerked his head and mouth as he latched on.
Elizabeth caressed the back of her hand over his round cheek, looked down at the child who had taught us so many things—that it was okay to hope again, to love without fear, even when it might cost us all, to show it every day.
I settled down beside them, our son cocooned between us.
She glanced up at me, her brown eyes steeped in emotion. “I didn’t think I’d ever love this much again.”
I reached across the short space, held her face in the cup of my hand, and realized I’d never felt closer to her than I did now.
Her gaze locked with mine, this woman who loved me with everything and trusted me with all.
My mind rushed through the years of our lives, what my hopes for the future held.
The footsteps that would clamor over these wooden floors, the laughter and the play, the days that would pass as we watched our children grow. I could picture Myles stumbling across the lawn on unsure feet, the biggest grin on his face, Lizzie at his side, encouraging him to take one more step.
The way it would sound when he called me Daddy.
The way my little girl would slowly turn into a woman, how it terrified me yet made me insane with pride at the same time.
How my children would learn. All their missteps and triumphs, failures and successes.
How one day they would find a love of their own.
How Elizabeth and I would be allowed to grow old together.
That we’d love until we’d been given no more days, and then, somehow, I’d find her again.
This woman, the one who’d stolen my breath with a passing glance.
This woman, the one who’d changed every piece of me.
I clutched her face as I kissed her.
This woman.
My forever.
You’re just pages away from a special sneak peek of A.L. Jackson’s upcoming New Adult Romance, Come To Me Quietly!
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The Regret Series by A.L. Jackson
Lost To You (0.5)
People come into our lives. Some stay, and many go. Some build us up, while most tear us down. They become our friends, our enemies, our lovers, our tormentors.
Christian Davison came into mine, and I knew I’d never be the same.
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Take This Regret (1)
There are some mistakes we make that we will regret for the rest of our lives. For Christian Davison, it was the day he betrayed Elizabeth Ayers.
http://bit.ly/TTRNook
If Forever Comes (2)
Their love is intense and their passion only grows as they set out to rediscover each other. But life is never easy.
Other books by A.L. Jackson
Pulled
Will the power that drew them together be enough to heal the wounds from their past?
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When We Collide
William is ready to fight to take back what had been stolen from him six years before. But he never imagined what that fight might cost him.
http://bit.ly/WWCNook
Come To Me Quietly ~ Coming January 7, 2014
From the acclaimed bestselling author of Lost to You and When We Collide comes a new adult novel of one woman’s obsession: a man who’s as passionate as he is elusive—and as tempting as he is trouble.…
http://bit.ly/CTMQPre
Sneak Peek of Come To Me Quietly ~ Prologue and Chapters 1-3
Prologue
Dashed lines blur until they become a solid line. My bones vibrate from the thousands of miles I’ve spent straddling this leather seat, the muscles in my right arm screaming from the hours my hand has been locked on the throttle.
But I don’t stop. I can’t, and I don’t know why. Something in my gut spurs me forward. I plough ahead.
Hot air blasts my face and my hair thrashes in uncontrolled chaos.
I bite back a bitter laugh.
Uncontrolled chaos. That’s exactly how they described me.
The desert sky goes on forever, an ocean of the deepest blue. The city rises like a beacon in the distance. Because I am drawn.
What am I doing?<
br />
There is nothing here for me. I know it. I’ve already destroyed it all. I destroy everything I touch.
Still, I can do nothing but press on.
Chapter 1
Aleena
I was propped up on my bed with my sketch pad balanced on my bent knees. Megan was doing her best not to laugh from where she sat cross-legged at the end of my bed, bouncing.
“Hold still,” I commanded, biting my bottom lip as I attempted to get her mouth just right. The shading was difficult, and I wanted it perfect. Megan had the most genuine smile of any person I’d ever met. I refused to mess it up.
“But I have to pee,” she whined. She bounced a little harder. She couldn’t hold it in any longer, and she released this hysterical laugh as she rolled off the edge of my bed. “I’ll be right back.”
With a groan, I tossed my sketch pad to the bed. “You’re such a pain in my ass, Megan,” I called after her as she ran out my door and across the hall to the bathroom. She’d gotten up to pee at least three times in the last hour. The girl could not sit still to save her life.
“That’s why you love me so much,” she yelled back.
The bathroom door slammed behind her, and I picked the pad back up to study it.
Megan’s striking face stared back at me, smiling, her normally long blonde hair traced in shades of charcoal, her normally blue eyes wide and black.
She’d been my best friend since she moved here from Rhode Island during our sophomore year of high school almost five years ago. I loved drawing her because she was so different than the typical model who offered themselves up. She was short, just shy of the 5’2” mark, wore her curves well, and had the most unique face. It was somehow both sweet and curious, this constant expression that made me think of innocence trying to work itself out.
She still lived with her parents in the same neighborhood where I’d grown up, just two streets over from my old house where my parents and younger brother still lived. She hung out here a lot at the apartment that I’d shared with my older brother, Christopher, since I graduated from high school two years ago. Christopher and I both went to ASU, and our apartment was near the campus. I was going to school to be a nurse, but God, sometimes I wished I could do something with my art. I knew it was absurd, that there was little chance that anything would come of it. That didn’t mean I didn’t want it.
She was grinning when she came back less than two minutes later.
“Feel better?”
“Oh yeah.” Climbing back onto the bed, she crawled forward to steal a peek.
I hid the pad against my chest.
“Let me see.” She reached out and tried to grab it.
I shook my head and held it closer. “You know the rules.”
“I know, I know.” She sat back. No one ever got to see. No one except for me.
From the floor, Megan’s phone rang in her purse. She leaned over to dig it out. When she rose back up, excitement had transformed her expression. “It’s him,” she mouthed to me as she accepted the call and brought it to her ear. “Hello?”
Turning back to my sketch, I tried not to smile while I listened to her talk to Sam. She’d been chasing that guy for the last month, ever since she hung out with him at a party our friend Calista had thrown in May to celebrate the end of last semester. One kiss and she was hooked. I wasn’t so sure he felt the same.
“Yeah. . .we can come. . .okay, see you there.”
She dropped her phone to bed and squealed.
Oh God. Megan didn’t squeal. She was in trouble.
“Sounds like you have a date tonight?” I muttered, my attention trained on the motion of my hand.
“Not me, we,” she countered. “Sam is having a party tonight, and he wants us to come. I can’t believe he actually called,” she said, obviously talking to herself. “Two weeks and no word from him. I was beginning to think he was going to ditch me.”
Beginning to?
So maybe I was a little protective of my best friend.
I hopped off the bed and went to my closet, dug through until I found the little black skirt I’d tucked in the back. I yanked it from the hanger and tossed it to her. “Here. . .wear this. It’ll look a lot better on you than it does on me. You know it was those legs that tripped Sam up in the first place. I think the guy literally stumbled.” I pointed at her. “And you better make him work for it.”
“Oh, he’s definitely going to have to work for it. You know me better than that.” Megan held up the skirt to inspect it. “This is really cute.” She looked up with a grin. “Maybe you should wear it. You know Gabe’s gonna be there.” The last she said in that sing-song voice that she only used because she knew it annoyed the hell out of me.
“Pssh,” I huffed under my breath, and she laughed because she of all people knew Gabe wasn’t really that much of a draw. Gabe was my kind-of-boyfriend. By kind of, I meant he was a guy who wouldn’t leave me alone or take no for an answer. But he was unbearably cute and sweet in a boy-next-door kind of way and I didn’t really know how to cut him loose without hurting his feelings.
And he was safe.
She lowered the skirt to her lap.
“You should really quit stringing that guy along. It’s kind of sad.” Her tease turned serious, her blue eyes sober as she looked up at me from the bed.
I tossed a pair of shorts to change into on my bed. “I’m not stringing him along, Megan. He’s the one who’s strung himself to me.”
“Whatever, Aly. You just keep telling yourself that. You always do.”
I could see the concern pass over her eyes, could almost hear the argument pass through her lips, the lecture.
“Just don’t, okay?” I said.
She blinked a couple of times, as if it would clear whatever picture she saw in her mind. “I just don’t get you sometimes, Aly.”
The party was mellow, just a few people hanging out on a Thursday at the house Sam shared with a couple of other guys. Most of us were out back, sitting around the pool drinking beer. The yard lights were off, the area cast in a muted glow from the lights shining through the bank of windows inside Sam’s house. Megan was curled up with him on a lounger at the far end of the pool, their voices hushed and relaxed. Behind me flames rose and crackled from an in-ground fire pit, and a few people sat around in the chairs that circled it.
Leaning back on my hands, I dipped my feet into the pool. Water rippled out over the surface, the ridges illuminated above the shadows as they lapped across the pool. Even at eleven o’clock at night, it was still hot. Summer in Phoenix was my favorite. It always had been. Heat saturated everything, radiated from the concrete and pavement, pressed down from the sky. Bugs trilled and birds rustled through the trees. I loved that I could be in the middle of the sprawling city and still feel like I was out in the wilderness. Peaceful. There was no other way to describe it.
I wasn’t surprised when Gabe settled down beside me. We’d chatted a little over the evening, but for the most part, I’d avoided him. He was shirtless and only wore a pair of white swim trunks. “You want to join me?” he asked, inclining his head toward the pool in invitation.
“Nah. I’m good,” I said, even though the thought of the cool water was incredibly appealing.
Tilting his head back to get a better view of me, he almost smiled. Strands of his light brown hair flopped to the side, and his dark brown eyes swam with something I wished I didn’t see. “You’re missing out,” he said.
I laughed quietly and shook my head. He was so obvious.
“I am, huh?”
One side of his mouth twitched. “Yeah, you are.”
“Fine,” I said.
What could it hurt?
Or I guessed the more appropriate question would be why did it hurt? It was stupid. Childish. But I didn’t know how to let it go.
Forcing myself to my feet, I pulled off my tank top and slipped out of the little shorts I’d worn over my green bikini.
Gabe’s expression lif
ted with slow appreciation.
Embarrassed, I turned away and jumped in. My body sank to the bottom of the pool. I floated, weightless, the length of my black hair spreading out and drifting away. It was cool, invigorating. The water blocked out the voices and the noise of everyone else, and for a few seconds, I reveled in the solitude. When my lungs grew tight, I propelled myself up to the surface. I sucked in a huge breath of air as I flung my hair back from my face.
Gabe was already waist deep in the pool, smiling at me. “You have to be the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen, Aly,” he murmured as he edged forward.
Lights from inside cast his face in shadows, but I could see the beauty in his silhouette. And I wanted to want him, wanted to somehow get back the part of me that I’d given away that night so long ago.
I didn’t say anything, just stared at Gabe as he inched forward. I didn’t stop him when his hands found my hips and didn’t stop his kiss.
It felt nice.
But there would always be something missing.
Chapter 2
Jared
Everything had changed even while everything seemed to remain the same. I rode the streets, searching. For what, I didn’t know. In the six years I’d been gone, the city had crawled out past its boundaries, but the old neighborhood appeared as if it’d been frozen in time, like a snapshot I looked on from afar. A picture I’d been erased from.
I pulled onto the dirt off the main road, directly across the street from where I’d grown up. Every memory that ever mattered I’d experienced here. They were only that. Memories. I propped my booted foot on the ground to hold my bike up while I just stared. Cars flew by, my vision blurred in the flashes of metal.l.
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