by Amy Clipston
Did that mean he was the man God meant for her? A shiver raced through her as she imagined spending her life with him.
“You should invite him to go to your youth gathering Sunday night.”
Emily glanced over her shoulder to where Mamm stood by the table holding a stack of dishes and smiling at her.
“I don’t think it’s a gut idea.” Emily held the broom tighter. “I think he would’ve mentioned going to youth group with me if he wanted to go.”
“I think Chris would enjoy meeting your freinden.” Mamm placed the dishes on the counter. “He seemed to enjoy talking to Jason and Mike during supper.” She crossed the room and stood next to Emily. She peered out the windows that overlooked the back porch and the field. “Chris is having fun out there, isn’t he?”
“Ya, he is,” Emily said as Mike pitched the ball to Chris and Chris hit it out toward the pasture. John cheered and Chris laughed as he jogged toward a fence post that must have served as first base.
“Mamm is right,” Rachel cut in as she dried another glass. “I imagine Chris would enjoy going to a youth gathering with you. Maybe he could take you in Hank’s buggy.”
“Oh, ya.” Veronica beamed, gazing over her shoulder at Emily. “It would give you and Chris an opportunity to get to know each other better.”
“No.” Emily plucked at a loose piece of wood on the broom handle. “I don’t think so.”
A cool evening breeze drifted into the kitchen through the open windows, carrying the aroma of moist earth.
“Why not?” Rachel’s brow wrinkled. “I thought you liked him.”
“I do like him.” Emily continued to pick at the loose wood. “I just don’t think I should push him too much. I already forced him to have supper with us. What will it look like if I invite him to youth group too? That might make me look too eager.”
“You forced him to have supper with us?” Rachel snorted. “He didn’t look like he was suffering to me. What do you think, Veronica?”
Veronica shook her head. “He looked as if he wanted to be wherever you were, Em.” She returned to her washing.
“I think it would be nice if you invited him.” Mamm gathered utensils from the table and brought them to the counter. “Maybe it would help him feel more a part of our community.”
Emily looked out the window again as Chris gave John a high five.
“What are you afraid of?” Rachel asked.
“I’m not afraid to ask him.” Emily pushed the broom around the floor to force herself to stop fixating on Chris. “I just don’t want to give him the wrong impression.”
“Em.” Rachel set her towel down on the counter and padded over to her. “You once told me you didn’t date any buwe in our youth group because you couldn’t connect with them. You said you wanted someone you could talk to.”
Emily stopped sweeping and shrugged. “What are you getting at?”
“I’ve never seen you so interested in a man before you met Chris.” Rachel pointed toward the window. “I think you found that connection with him.” She dropped her hand and paused. “You know, I just want to encourage you, Em. You were instrumental in helping Veronica and me find our husbands.”
“That’s not true.” Emily fiddled with the loose piece of wood on the broom handle again.
“Ya, it is,” Veronica chimed in as she began to wash the utensils. “You found Jason at the mud sale and brought him over to my booth so we could talk, and that was the day I finally agreed to date him. Remember?”
“And you invited Mike over for supper the day we met him at the post office. That was the first time his dat met our family. Do you remember that too?” Rachel rested her hand on her hip and gave Emily a knowing look. “You’re always taking care of the rest of us. It’s time you started taking care of yourself.”
Emily frowned. It was no use arguing with the three of them.
“All right. I’ll invite him.”
Rachel grinned and gently squeezed Emily’s shoulder. “I know he’ll say yes. And maybe then he’ll ask you to be his girlfriend.”
Emily wasn’t convinced. And what would she do if Chris said no?
“GREAT JOB, JOHN!” CHRIS CHEERED AS THE BOY SLUGGED the ball past Mike, who was pitching, and out toward Jason in the makeshift outfield. Chris marveled at how well John hit the ball. He had hit it at least six times, and he’d only missed once or twice.
John took off toward first base, which was actually the fence post next to where Leroy stood clapping, and Jason trotted over to retrieve the ball.
He threw the ball to Chris and then lifted his chin as if to instruct Chris to allow John to make it to first base. Chris nodded and grinned as John stood panting when he got there.
“You made it.” Chris tossed the ball up in the air and caught it. “You’re better at this game than you let on.” He eyed the little boy with feigned suspicion. “Were you setting me up to think you weren’t gut at this game so you could beat me and then make fun of me?”
John guffawed. “No!”
Chris held up the softball and shook it at John. “I think you were. You like to take advantage of old guys.”
“Old guys.” Leroy chuckled. “You have no idea what old is.”
Mike and Jason joined in the laughter.
“Are you guys ready for a break yet?” Jason clapped Chris on the shoulder. “I want to see if there’s any pie left.”
“I’m not tired yet,” John quipped without missing a beat. “I think Jason is the old guy.”
Leroy roared with laughter, and Chris couldn’t help but join in with the infectious chuckling.
“Thanks, Johnny,” Jason muttered on his way toward the back porch. He looked back at John and winked at him before climbing the back steps.
“Jason is going to wind up fat if he keeps eating Veronica’s pies,” Leroy commented as he walked toward the house.
“I guess he’ll gain weight along with her, huh?” Mike joked.
Leroy laughed again as he started toward the house. “That is very true, Mike.”
Chris grinned, enjoying the comfortable teasing and joking. Warmth settled over him as he recalled the conversation at supper. Not only had he enjoyed sitting across from Emily and admiring her during supper, but he’d been part of the family tonight. When Leroy called Chris a blessing, the sentiment nearly shoved him off his chair. He’d never felt so appreciated.
“Can I have a piece of pie?” John asked Mike.
“Ya, sure.” Mike waved him off. “Just ask Rachel to cut you a piece.”
John took Leroy’s hand and tugged him toward the porch steps. “Come with me, Leroy.”
Chris retrieved the bat from where John had tossed it. He rested it on his left shoulder while tossing the ball up in the air and catching it with his right hand. “Are these yours?” he asked Mike as they walked toward the house.
“Yeah, they are.” Mike pointed toward the porch. “You can just leave them here, and I’ll pick them up when we leave tonight.”
“All right.” Chris set the ball and bat on the porch. “John is really gut at softball.”
“Ya, he is.” Mike smiled, pride shining brightly in his eyes. “He’s been going to a special school since last year, and it’s done wonders for his self-esteem. He was struggling with both reading and math, and he also had problems making freinden. Now he’s doing really well in school, and he’s made quite a few freinden. The school has been a blessing to us in quite a few ways. That’s actually how I met Rachel. She was his teacher.”
“Oh. That’s great.”
Mike hopped up to sit on the porch, his legs dangling over the side. “You’re really gut with John. Do you have bruderskinner?”
“I have two, both girls. They’re young. Four and two.” He wondered if they would remember him if he ever went back home to Ohio or if they would look at him as if he were a stranger, maybe even cry when he greeted them.
“You definitely have a gift with kinner.” Mike leaned back on his hands. “You have si
blings, then.”
“I have two bruders. I mean, one.” Chris’s fingers took to the monotony of rolling the bat back and forth on the porch. He looked up at Mike observing him with an indecipherable expression. “My younger bruder died in an accident in June.”
“Ach, I’m so sorry.” Mike blew out a deep sigh. “Mei dat died in May. It’s tough losing someone you love.” He looked out toward the pasture as he shared that he’d lost his mother when he was ten and then lost his stepmother when she was giving birth to John. “Some days are easier than others, but grief has a way of sneaking up on you. I’ll be doing something mundane and remember something mei dat said or something mei mamm did, and I just feel like laughing or even crying.”
He faced Chris and gave him a hesitant smile. “Grief is an unpredictable emotion.”
“Ya, it is.”
Mike’s face brightened. “I appreciate how nice you are to John. He really likes you.”
“I like him a lot too.” Chris absently moved his hand over the smooth bat. “He’s a great kid.”
“Danki.” Mike grinned, reminding Chris of a proud father.
“Are you two coming in for pie?” Rachel stood at the screen door.
“Ya, we’ll be there in a minute.” Mike gazed up at her over his shoulder. “We were just talking.”
“Well, if you keep talking, you may not get any pie. I suggest you bring your conversation inside.” Rachel gave Mike a coy smirk and then disappeared into the house, the door clicking shut behind her.
Mike rubbed his chin. “Rachel keeps me on my toes. When I first met her, mei dat’s health was failing, and I was convinced I didn’t have room in my life for a maedel. Of course, I was wrong. I met her at the perfect time because it was when I needed her the most.” He sat forward and wiped his hands across his trousers. “It’s funny how God works. As Rachel once told me, we think we know God’s plan for us, but we don’t know what his plan is until he reveals it to us.”
“I suppose that is true.” Now Chris held the ball.
Mike gave a sheepish smile. “I’m sure you didn’t come here tonight to listen to me preach.” He stood up. “Let’s go get some pie.”
“Sounds gut. I’ve worked up an appetite for more dessert.” Chris climbed the porch steps as Mike’s words marinated in his mind. What was God’s plan for him? Where did he belong?
As he stepped into the kitchen, Chris shoved the haunting thoughts away and relished the sight of Emily cutting a piece of chocolate pie as she smiled at John. He hoped he’d get a chance to talk to her alone later.
EMILY WAVED GOOD-BYE AS THE TWO BUGGIES STARTED DOWN the driveway toward the main road later that evening. The crisp evening breeze sent the skirt of her purple dress fluttering around her legs. She hugged her sweater to her chest as the sunset stained the sky with vivid streaks of orange, pink, and yellow.
“I’m going to finish cleaning up the kitchen,” Rachel said after the buggies had disappeared from view. “Do you want to help me, Mamm?”
“Ya, of course.”
“I’ll help too.” Emily walked with Rachel and Mamm toward the house.
“No, you don’t have to.” Rachel winked.
“Why not?” Emily asked, annoyed. “Why wouldn’t I help?”
Rachel looked at the porch and then widened her eyes as she glanced back at Emily.
Emily followed Rachel’s gaze toward the porch, and when she spotted Chris sitting on the glider, her stomach fluttered with the wings of a hundred butterflies. Was he waiting for her? Perhaps after their talk the other night, Chris was just as eager for them to have some time alone as Emily was.
She followed her mother and sister up the porch steps and then lingered behind as they headed toward the back door.
“Gut nacht, Chris,” Rachel said.
“Gut nacht,” he said, moving his hand down the arm of the glider. “Danki for supper, Mattie. It was fantastic.”
“Gern gschehne. We’re so glad you could join us.” Mamm gave Emily a grin before they both disappeared into the house, shutting the door behind them.
Emily met Chris’s gaze, his face partially hidden in the shadow of the porch roof.
“May I join you?” she asked.
He shoved over to the far side of the glider and then patted the seat beside him.
Emily swallowed against her dry mouth and switched on two lanterns as she made her way across the porch. She sat on the seat beside him. When his leg brushed hers, heat crawled up her neck.
“Are you angry about what you called my dirty trick?” she asked, breaking the silence between them.
“No. Of course not.” He angled his body toward her and gave her a breathtaking smile. “I had a great time.”
“Gut.” She gave the glider a little push with the toe of her shoe and enjoyed the comforting motion.
Chris rested his elbow on the arm of the glider. “I was hoping to get a moment alone with you to talk.”
“Oh? Do you need to discuss something with me?”
His eyes were dark blue in the low light of the lantern. “No, nothing in particular. I just want to steal some of your attention for a little bit.”
“Oh.” You always have my attention. Emily looked down to where their hands were only millimeters apart. She longed to lace her fingers through his, but she didn’t want to appear too eager and ruin any possibility of deepening the relationship blossoming between them.
“You looked like you were having fun playing softball earlier,” she said.
“Ya, I had a lot of fun. John is really gut at it, and he’s so funny.” Emily saw him grin. Was he recalling something amusing John had said? “Mike is a really nice guy. He’s easy to talk to.”
Emily took in Chris’s eyes, yearning to understand him better.
“What are you thinking right now?” he asked.
His question caught her off guard as he looked at her. He was so close that she couldn’t help but once again take in his musky male scent, now blended with the aroma of moist earth coming from the pasture. “Why didn’t you want to come tonight?” Emily whispered the question as if his response frightened her.
Would Chris say he only liked her as a friend and didn’t want to give her the wrong impression? Or worse, would he say he came only because of the chance to spend time with John, as if seeing her didn’t matter?
Chris rubbed his chin, and Emily’s shoulders tightened with dread.
“I meant it when I told you I was afraid I was intruding. I didn’t want to worm my way into your family time.”
“Worm your way in?” She clicked her tongue. “I invited you, Chris. I wanted you to come. My family wanted you to be here too. Isn’t it obvious that we like you?”
Something cryptic flashed in his eyes. Please talk to me, she silently pleaded with him. “How have you been sleeping?”
“All right.” He gave a noncommittal shrug, and she was certain he wasn’t telling her the whole truth.
“Have you tried warm milk again?” She moved the glider with her toe.
She thought she saw him fighting a grin. Was he going to laugh at her?
“I’ll have to give it another try,” Chris said.
Emily looked toward the pasture as darkness crept over the green grass, and a comfortable silence fell over them.
“I really like your dat,” Chris suddenly said. “He’s funny and encouraging.”
“Ya. He is great.”
“You’re blessed to have him.” Sadness flickered in his eyes. Was he comparing Emily’s father to his?
“Would you come to my youth group meeting with me Sunday night?” The question escaped her mouth without her permission. She held her breath while he held her gaze for a moment.
“I don’t think so,” he finally said gently.
“Oh.” Emily tried to smile through her disappointment.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She could hear the tremble in her voice. Why did she have to wear her emotions on her s
leeve? She turned her attention back to the darkening pasture to avoid his gaze. She couldn’t reveal how much his rejection stung.
“Emily.” Chris’s hand covered her elbow. “Emily, please look at me.”
She faced him, and the intensity in his eyes shocked her.
“It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with you,” he said, his tone nearly as gentle as his hand. “I just don’t think I’d feel comfortable.”
“It’s okay.” Her voice was soft and reedy. “It’s not a big deal.”
Chris didn’t look convinced as he released her arm. “I should probably go. It’s getting late.”
“Ya.” She pointed toward the lanterns. “Do you need a light to guide you back home?”
Chris looked at her for a moment. “No, danki.” He stood and then held out his hand. She took it, and he lifted her to her feet as if she were weightless. He held her hand. “Danki again for inviting me. Actually, I should thank you for sending John to get me.”
“Gern gschehne.” She enjoyed the comforting, soft touch of his skin. “Gut nacht.”
Chris gave her hand a tender squeeze before releasing it. “I’ll see you soon.” He headed down the porch steps and off into the darkness.
Emily stood on the porch and stared off into the dark, watching his silhouette float toward Hank’s house. She ached to understand Chris and his confusing behavior. The intense way he looked at her and held her hand served as evidence he liked her, yet he seemed so hesitant at the same time.
Regret settled heavily on Emily’s shoulders. Why had she invited him to youth group? She should’ve listened to her intuition instead of her mother and sisters and let the relationship progress at his pace instead of trying to force him to take it to the next level.
Emily turned off the lanterns and then hugged her sweater to her chest as she walked toward the back door. As she entered the house, Emily hoped she’d be able to solve the puzzle of Christopher Hochstetler.
CHAPTER 13
CHRIS DRAGGED HIS LONG LEGS OVER THE SIDE OF THE BED and took deep, ragged breaths as sweat soaked through his T-shirt and sluiced down his back.
This was the fourth night the nightmare had repeated in Chris’s mind as if it were a movie playing over and over again at one of those Englisher cinemas. At first it began like most of the other dreams that had plagued him—Chris was in the pasture and heard Gabriel screaming for help. But this dream took a different twist as Chris ran fast enough to reach the back of the pasture before Gabriel was killed. When he arrived, however, Chris’s boots were cemented in place, and he was stuck in mud less than ten feet from where Gabriel stood screaming for help.