“Abigail, didn’t expect to find you out here.” Thomas chuckled as he said it, having shifted into human form when he was close.
She kept her eyes on his, trying and failing to ignore the hard body he had, covered in those white battle scars. She looked to his side as James and Tony ran up, but didn’t shift into human form. They just collapsed in the grass, panting and giving her wolf grins. She could only imagine what they were thinking. Mental speech only worked between shifters in animal form.
“Yeah, just enjoying my time off,” she responded, looking back at Thomas. “The Pride has some things they need to handle on their own, so I’m free until January.”
“Andrew,” Thomas sighed, his eyes drifting away from her. “He’s got short-term memory loss from his injury.”
“I’ve heard,” she whispered, nodding. She had. A couple days after returning, she’d called Brenton and learned about it. Andrew had gotten attacked by a large male lion and he’d won the fight, but it had left the cougar with some problems of his own. A severe head injury led to memory issues. She could help Andrew with the emotional side of things, but she couldn’t fix him. She and Brenton decided to only get involved if they felt he might be slipping into a depression or something else arose from the issues. Brain injuries could lead to all manner of personality shifts and other problems. “I had to tell Riley to keep focusing on her guys, and that I would be fine. They need her right now.”
“Yeah,” Thomas agreed softly. “So, just hiking your time away? How was South Dakota?”
“Awful,” she groaned. “I forgot - well, ignored - how boring the Herd was when I decided to go back. Then some wolves showed up and my sister agreed to cover for me, so I could come back early.”
“Didn’t want to check on your condo in LA?” he asked, smiling at her now.
“LA, alone for the holidays? No, thank you.” Abigail laughed, after giving him a look like he was an idiot. “I wanted some fresh air and real wilds, so I came back here.”
“It is really nice out here,” Thomas said, nodding at her in agreement.
There was a beat of silence after that and she shifted her weight, a little nervous from the silence.
“Can we talk about what happened, Abigail?” Thomas broke through the silence with that and Abigail ran a hand through her hair.
“What is there to talk about?” she asked. “Really, Thomas. I can’t join your Pack, I’m just a doe.”
“Pack isn’t about animal, Abigail,” he said patiently. “It’s about community.”
“I’m sure,” she mumbled, crossing her arms and looking away from him.
“I know wolves haven’t been good to you but-”
“You know?” Abigail’s gaze snapped back to him and her eyes went wide.
“Tony remembered where we’ve seen you before at Rocker’s and-”
“Goodbye, Thomas Marek,” Abigail snapped. Embarrassment flooded her, and her cheeks got warm. “If you really do know, then you should know I’m not going through that again.”
“Abigail,” he pleaded, walking out onto the trail. She grabbed her backpack and threw it back over her shoulder. “I’m not Gavin.”
“No, but you are a wolf,” she bit out as she started to walk away. “I know enough about wolves. I don’t mix well with them.”
“That’s all, huh?” Thomas growled. “I’m a wolf, therefore I must be a scumbag like Gavin? Damn it, Abigail, all me and the guys want is to give you something here in Wild Junction to come back to.”
“Then what about the time we nearly fucked on the forest floor, Thomas? Is that ‘community?’” she yelled, turning back to him. “I’m not a wolf, Thomas. I don’t do casual sex. I don’t like sharing. If that continued, I know me well enough to know that I would want it to stay between us. No female wolves, no anything. That’s why Gavin screwed me over, because he was all wolf and wanted the casual as well as the claimed. I don’t mesh with wolves, Thomas. I just don’t.”
“There doesn’t have to be anyone else,” he pushed, trying to walk closer to her. “Abigail, that never has to happen again. I’m an Alpha. All I want is the shifters around me to be happy and taken care of. That’s all. That’s all they want. We want you in the Pack, Abigail, because you need someone.”
“I haven’t needed anyone for a long time.” She continued to walk away, shaking her head.
“You need to run and it’s not safe for you to do that alone,” Thomas growled. “It’s unhealthy that you don’t get out more. I’m sure these hikes of yours are helping, but you feel it. You feel your doe just under the skin. I know it. I’m a damn Alpha - it’s my job to know it.”
“You aren’t my Alpha. I’m prey. We don’t have Alphas,” Abigail grumbled. She just kept walking until he was out of sight. He didn’t chase her; none of them did. She heard them run off in the opposite direction and leave her to her hike again.
Her heart clenched, and tears welled in her eyes. They knew. They knew she was some pathetic doe who had to throw her engagement ring on a bed next to the bitch her fiancé was fucking to get him to even notice she was there. How he stopped and looked down at it, shocked, but the stupid bitch on the bed was laughing as she covered up, trying to tell Abigail it wasn’t serious. Abigail stormed out, leaving Gavin, wrapped in a sheet, to his second, while another of his inner circle tried to catch her. Gavin was screaming for her to stop - but when she told him that she wanted Pack membership, a real place, not just as his outcast fiancée…they had laughed at her. Him, his inner circle, and a group of the Pack.
They had laughed. She had run.
She’d been running ever since.
She stopped and rubbed her eyes, the tears beginning to fall. Her heart was still broken. She was pathetic. Eight years and she couldn’t get over the gut-wrenching pain of Gavin. No matter how logically she tried to consider it, she was still bruised and bleeding over it. He’d been her everything. She’d given him everything and he’d tossed it aside.
And she was at risk to do the same for this Pack of wolves and she knew it. Another round of them could destroy her. She loved the intensity they always seemed to have.
“I barely know them,” Abigail muttered to herself. “I’ve never had a real conversation with them that wasn’t about their time in the hunting compound or me.”
She needed to keep her distance from them for a little longer. She had to. She decided, as she got back to her car, to head to the mansion. She would ask Brenton if she could use their property instead. That might get Thomas off her back over it, stop giving them a reason to get in her business and try to get close.
She made it to the mansion in record time and knocked only twice before walking in. She found Andrew just waiting in the kitchen and stopped as he looked over to her, shocked. She tried to hide her own shock at the state of his face. The news hadn’t done it justice. He’d been beaten pretty hard: broken nose, bruises covering his forehead and the left side of his face. She wondered how many broken bones he had around his eye, which was still a little swollen. This was what she missed because she’d been scared of her own attraction to the Pack. She’d missed the Pride going through hell.
“Did you have an appointment with someone?” he asked, and she wondered why he looked a bit pissed.
“No, I came to ask Brenton for a favor,” she answered, feeling like an ass for just walking in. “Without telling anyone I was coming.”
“Thank god,” he sighed, relaxing immediately. “He’s in his office.”
“I’m sorry for upsetting you,” she mumbled, turning towards the office. “I didn’t mean to intrude. I have a lot on my mind and wasn’t thinking.”
“Wasn’t you, Abigail.” Andrew groaned, shaking his head. “I thought I had forgotten.”
She stopped walking away and looked back at him. She could see the pain on his face now, the worry. He had been pissed at himself.
“If you need someone to talk to that isn’t in the situation, I’m here, Andrew,” she told him
quietly.
“I’ll take you up on that.” He smiled at her. “It’s hard, knowing that I might forget things. And I have no idea what I will keep and what I won’t. Saw the doctor yesterday and he doesn’t know if it’ll be permanent either.”
“Your Pride loves you,” she told him with a confidence that she felt. She knew they loved each other, this strange, poly Pride. “They have your back, Andrew. I’m so sorry for not being here when it happened.”
“Thanks.” Andrew chuckled. “It’s better that you weren’t, Abigail. You might have gotten caught in the crossfire and that would have been no good for anyone. You don’t need our drama.”
And they didn’t need hers, but she was about to ask their Alpha to let her avoid it by hiding behind them. She walked to the office and knocked. This time, she waited patiently for someone to call her in.
“Come in,” Zachary growled out. She stepped in and saw the tiger lounging on the couch. She could smell the drugs he was on, a cocktail of painkillers that altered his scent. He was high, feeling some pain, and pissed off about it. Brenton sat behind his desk, flipping through papers. “What do ya want, Abigail?” Zachary grumbled, glaring at her.
“Be nice, you cranky shit,” Brenton groaned at Zachary. He looked up to her and sighed. “Forgive him. He’s hurting. Getting shot in the back twice tends to lead to some pain. He’s only being nice to Riley right now.”
“I can imagine it does hurt,” she mumbled. “I was hoping to ask for a favor.”
“Ask away,” Brenton seemed curious and leaned back in his seat, looking regal for his age. He could have been twenty years older in that moment, acting like he’d been ruling a Pride for decades.
She took a deep breath. “I was hoping I could join the Pride on runs, so I can safely shift and get that need met,” she said quickly, hoping it didn’t sound pathetic.
“No,” Zachary snarled. “Runs are family only for us.”
“Zachary,” the lion snarled as well. “I’ll remind you that I’m the damn Alpha. Get your cranky ass in a bed and go to sleep. Stop being fucking rude to her. She’s a goddamn employee.”
Zachary growled but Brenton’s was louder. Abigail nearly ran. Her prey instincts fired up immediately at the sounds from them. She moved out of the door as the tiger moved off the couch and stormed out of the office. She was shaking, and Brenton sighed at her again once they were alone and the tiger was far away.
“It’s still a no,” he told her quietly. “Zachary just doesn’t have the right to take out his pain on you. He can take it out on me, but not you.”
“He’s lashing out,” she said, understanding what was going on. “But you are his Alpha. He shouldn’t behave that way with you either if I know anything about Prides.”
“He took those bullets for me,” Brenton whispered. “He can be an ass to me as much as he wants.”
“I’m sorry, for all of you,” she whispered back. “Are you sure…”
“Positive, Abigail,” he said blandly, going back to his professional and detached control. “Runs for this Pride are family only. Things tend to happen on them that you might not want to see. I know you need someone to keep an eye out for you to safely shift and enjoy it, but I’ve got two guys who are dealing with injuries, and they can’t shift until they heal a bit more. So it’s just four of us…It’s just not a good time.”
“I wanted to ask before…” She groaned. “The wolves are on my case.”
“I know. It’s good. Someone should be, but I can’t take you as a Pride member and, forgive me for saying this, I don’t want to. This is my Pride and we’re already overwhelmed. Our runs are our time together, like our movie nights.” Brenton smiled at her. “Take the wolves up on their offer, Abigail.”
“I can’t,” she told him, shaking her head. “I love Wild Junction, Brenton, but I can’t deal with the wolves. I’ve hiked nearly every trail I can find, but I can’t run with the wolves.”
“Why not?” Brenton asked softly. “What are you scared of?”
She met the gold eyes of the lion Alpha. He knew something, she realized but he also seemed like he genuinely wanted to hear. He was relaxed, friendly, and nothing like she ever expected him to be. Did she trust him? He’d given her this job and asked for very little of her. His Pride trusted her with their darkest secrets and their lover, the Pride’s heart, was one of her closest friends now. The only friend Abigail had had in years.
“For them to turn out like my ex,” she answered.
“I’ve heard about him, and he did you wrong.” Brenton growled softly. She didn’t smell any anger, but rather, it seemed like he was mad at the story, the idea of Gavin. “If you aren’t into them, let them know. Just go on the runs. You need them, and they need you.”
“They don’t need me,” she scoffed. “They want me.”
“No, Abigail,” he chuckled as he said it. “They need you. They are a group of guys who lost everyone, doe. You know it. I know it. The entire fucking planet, and every shifter on it, knows it. They are trying to rebuild, and they need to share that with someone. They want to share it with you, or at least try.”
“Brenton-”
“Let me finish,” he commanded, holding up a hand. “I’ll be keeping you here, unless you quit, for a few more months at least, to make sure Andrew is okay. Figure out something temporarily, just for while you’re here. If Riley finally figures out that you aren’t taking care of yourself and that you don’t trust her wolves to help, she will blow a gasket. I’m being selfish. I don’t want outsiders on my Pride runs. I would also like the lady I answer to to remain happy.”
She opened and closed her mouth several times. She didn’t know what to say to that. It was selfish of him.
He just kept his gaze on hers, not exerting any dominance to make her look away but just holding it. He could, like Thomas - they could both make her break the stare, but they never did that to her.
Gavin had. They would argue, and he’d make her submit. She was beginning to realize the differences between good Alphas and a bad one. Not just know the difference intellectually, but see it.
“I’ll work it out,” she told him, looking down on her own. “Can we keep this between us?”
“I won’t lie to Riley, but it’s also not my shit to spill to her if you don’t want me to. If she figures it out, I’ll point her in your direction,” he answered her kindly, smiling.
“You’re wise for you age, Brenton,” she admitted. “You do know that, right? I wasn’t expecting it from an Alpha as young as you.”
“I try,” Brenton groaned, then began to laugh softly, smiling. The smile brought out his youth, making him look even younger than he was. “Nearly dying several times in my life has put things into perspective.”
“How many times?” Abigail asked him, narrowing her eyes. “And why haven’t we talked about you yet?”
“I’m not going to sit down for therapy,” Brenton told her sternly, but Abigail didn’t miss the playful edge to it. “At last count? Shit, somewhere around seven or eight times? I’m a Kingson - it’s expected.” He stopped a beat and she watched something sad come over his face. “Now, I’m the last Kingson.”
She just nodded. She couldn’t imagine that, the weight he probably carried, and she wasn’t going to try and offer any advice unless he asked for it.
“I’m sorry I can’t help, Abigail,” he said, waving her away. “Go on. I’ll let Riley know you stopped by, but she’s on Andrew and Zachary watch. Won’t deal with anything else until we know Andrew isn’t going to just drop on us.”
“I understand,” she responded kindly. “You did help, Brenton. Not the way I hoped, but you did.”
“I’m glad,” he sighed, turned his chair around to look out his window.
She left the room quietly and closed the door behind her. She had to pass the kitchen as she left, where Andrew was still working. He looked up and smiled at her.
“I heard what you and Brenton were talking about,” h
e called out as she tried to leave. “Abigail, can I offer some advice?” She walked back closer to him and he stopped stirring whatever he was working on. He didn’t wait for her to say anything, just said what he wanted, smiling sadly at her. “I forget things now. Everyone knows it. Abigail, don’t hold back. Try to find those happy memories, because one day, you might not have the chance. Gather the courage and take a chance. We did, and it was the best decision we’ve ever made. It’s the only thing that really helps me with everything. It keeps me sane, even when I can’t remember the time she kissed me good morning today, or yesterday.”
She sucked in a breath and Andrew just kept smiling at her. She turned on her heel and wiped the tears flooding her eyes. She got into her car and began to drive away.
If only she could have the courage to do exactly what he said. She could be brave for a moment, but her tender heart wasn’t just scared. It was terrified.
But her heart wanted to try anyways. Now she was battling her own heart. Falling prey to its desires could be the end of her.
She needed time to find the courage. She decided to go out on another hike. Hopefully, that would clear her head.
17
James
James spent two weeks pissed off. Pissed off at everything. He’d tasted being happy again at Rocker’s. Now she’d been avoiding them for three damn weeks. He could accept it the first week but after what she said in the woods, he was just pissed.
It didn’t help that he wasn’t sleeping properly. Five times. Thomas and Antonio had to come in his room five times to help him get back to sleep. Antonio woke up twice with his own nightmares and Thomas could be heard talking in his sleep.
He was cranky and furious. He had tasted just a bit of happiness. It fucking ran from him. Because he was a fucking wolf, as if he could suddenly control what animal crawled inside his skin.
He snarled as he slammed a pot down on the counter, the pasta inside ruined since he wasn’t paying attention.
Prey to the Heart (Wolves of Wild Junction Book 1) Page 18