by Judy Duarte
After she’d left him yesterday morning, practically slamming the door behind her, he’d gone over and over the last conversation they’d had. She’d been upset by something, but he wasn’t exactly sure what.
He suspected it had been the stipulations he’d put on his offer to pay for her medical school tuition that had set her off. She might not have liked the parameters limiting her choices. Obviously she’d planned to attend a school in Texas. But didn’t she realize that he’d only meant to provide a way for them to live closer to each other, to...be together? He hadn’t meant to use his offer as a dangling carrot. Had she thought that’s what he’d tried to do?
It’s just that he’d been so caught up in admiration for her, not to mention the great chemistry they had, that he’d begun to feel...
Well, he wasn’t ready to go so far as to say that it might be love, but whatever it was had compelled him to offer her the world, at least his little corner of it.
That wasn’t something to be taken lightly. But she had, and it hurt like hell.
He ought to cut bait and run, just as he had from Melissa when he’d realized she was only involved with him because of the life he could provide her, the things he could buy. In fact, he’d been so angry with himself and so disgusted by the woman Melissa had turned out to be, that breaking up with her and shutting her out of his life had been fairly easy.
So why couldn’t he get Shannon out of his mind?
Because, in spite of the skepticism he’d once had, Shannon wasn’t anything like Melissa. And walking away from her, from what they might have had together would be a lot more complicated—and far more painful.
He had to do something to make things right, although he wasn’t sure what.
Should he approach her with a peace offering? No, that wouldn’t work. This wasn’t something he could buy his way out of.
Did she realize that it wasn’t just about the cost of the schooling he’d offered her? He’d actually thought they had something special. That he might even...
He slowly shook his head and reeled in his thoughts. It was hard enough to express all he’d felt—all he was still feeling—for her, even in his own mind.
Could it be love? It certainly was strong enough to be, although the idea alone was foreign to him and difficult to understand, let alone admit.
He’d once thought that real love, the unconditional, I-need-you-to-be-at-my-side-forever kind that Sam and Nellie once had, would always escape him.
It certainly would if he didn’t do something about Shannon. But what? Something told him that this time an apology alone wasn’t going to cut it.
Could he actually do something far more difficult and frightening than that? Could he open up his heart and tell Shannon what he might be feeling for her?
But what if she threw his heart right back in his face?
After finishing off the last of the coffee he’d made early that morning, he ate the peach cobbler Joy had brought over to him last night. He considered it breakfast, although he would’ve preferred something heartier, healthier.
He washed the dishes and put them away, then headed for the door. He planned to drive out to the bridge and check the level of the creek to see if it had gone down. Hoping for the best, he’d already packed his bag and had it in the truck. He had to get out of here in the worst way. And before the emotional quagmire he’d found himself in revealed his vulnerability. Only trouble was, he feared it would follow him all the way home, along with Shannon’s memory.
As his thoughts and feelings continued to tumble around in his brain, he headed outside. He’d no more than stepped into the warm sunshine when he spotted his uncle striding across the yard.
Blake would tell Sam he was leaving, but that he’d be back. He just wasn’t entirely sure when that would be.
When Sam spotted Blake’s approach, he stopped in his tracks and placed his hands on his hips. “Did you finally decide to come out of your cave?”
“I had a lot of thinking to do.”
Sam merely nodded, as if he understood the questions that had been bombarding him since Shannon had walked out on him.
“You get it figured out?” he finally asked.
No, but maybe he would. Eventually. “I’m going to drive out to the bridge and see if I can get through.”
“Don’t bother. The road’s open. Nate made it through this morning.”
“Did you tell him about Beth?”
“Yep. Sure did. He jumped right back in his truck and hightailed it to the hospital.”
Last night, when Joy had brought him that dessert, she’d told him that Beth’s baby girl had been delivered by Caesarean. The three-pound preemie was doing okay, although she’d be in the neonatal intensive care unit for a month or more. Beth, on the other hand, still hadn’t come to.
But maybe things had changed.
“How’s Beth doing this morning?” Blake asked.
“She’s in a coma. Doc Nelson said they don’t expect her to pull through. That jerk she married beat her to a pulp, causing a brain bleed, among other things.”
“Did Nate say why Beth had been looking for him?”
“Apparently she’d split from her husband about a year ago. She and Nate dated for a while. But then she got a wild hair and went back to the abuser.”
“Does Nate think she came looking for him hoping to have a second chance?”
“I’m not sure what she was thinking, other than to escape that brute, but she’d told Nate a couple of months back that she was pregnant and that the baby was his. Nate wrote to her, telling her where she could find him if she ever needed him.”
“I guess, after that beating, she decided she needed all the help she could get if she wanted to get away once and for all.”
“That’s my guess. Nate thinks the guy figured out the baby wasn’t his and flipped out.”
Blake couldn’t imagine what he’d do if he ever found himself the father of a premature newborn.
“So what’s eating you?” Sam asked.
Blake wasn’t eager to share his confusion, but Sam usually had good advice. And more than once, Blake really should have followed it.
“I told Shannon I’d pay for her medical school if she found one in California. And for some reason it set her off.”
“Why’d you offer to do something like that?”
“Because I wanted her to know how I felt about her. And I wanted to tempt her to move to California.”
Sam swore under his breath. “For a man who’s supposed to be so dadgum bright, you sure don’t have a lick of sense when it comes to life or to women.”
Blake wanted to object, but right now, it seemed as though the older man had a point.
“You said you wanted to show her,” Sam said. “And sometimes a man has to do that. But did you ever tell her how you were feeling?”
“Not exactly. I... Well, it’s hard to put into words.”
“Do you love her?”
That had to be it since he’d never felt anything like it before. But even admitting it to Sam wasn’t easy.
“I’ve always kept my feelings close to the vest,” Blake said.
“You sound like your granddad. And how did that work for him? He and his wife never did seem very affectionate toward each other, and the last time I saw her, she looked miserable.”
“Maybe I owe Shannon an apology.”
Sam humphed. “For what? Attempting to bribe her or buy her affections?”
“That’s not what I did. At least, I didn’t do it intentionally.”
Sam clucked his tongue. “No wonder that redhead tried to take you to the cleaners.”
“Melissa? What’re you getting at?”
“When you use money to try and please—or lure—women, you tend to attract the ones who can be bought. You probably also give off the vibe that you don’t believe in love and don’t want to get married, so women with a real heart, women like Shannon, leave you in the dust.”
It all began to fall into place, fi
nally making sense. Damn. No wonder Shannon had been so upset. He’d been an ass, even though he hadn’t meant to be.
“You’ve spent years cheating yourself out of having an emotional bond with someone you really care about,” Sam said. “And you show off your Achilles’ heel to the very folks who shouldn’t be seeing it.”
Blake had never wanted anyone to spot any vulnerability in him, which was why he kept his feelings to himself.
“If you’re flaunting your money rather than your feelings, how can you blame a greedy person for thinking you’d be a good catch?”
Melissa had certainly had a greedy streak. But had Blake given her reason to believe he’d pave the road to her future with gold and diamonds?
“Shannon isn’t the least bit selfish,” Sam said. “She’s got a warm and loving heart, and when it comes to finding a perfect mate and a loyal partner for life, she’s the real McCoy.”
Sam was right. And Blake had been a fool.
“Shannon isn’t the kind of woman who’d want you to pay for her schooling. If she loves you, too, all she wants is your heart.”
Maybe so, but there lay the problem. Blake had protected his heart for so long, it was the one thing he was reluctant to reveal, let alone give away.
But did Shannon love him, too?
He’d never know unless he told her how he was feeling “I’d better go look for her.”
“She’s not on the ranch. She left early this morning.”
Blake’s gut clenched. “Where’d she go?”
“I’m not sure. She called Alicia and asked her to cover for her until Chloe could find someone to replace her as the head nurse. But I think she was going to stop at the hospital first. She wanted to check on her patients.”
A dedicated nurse would do that. And so would a woman with a loving heart.
Blake wasn’t sure what he’d say to her when he found her, but he knew that this time an apology and a bouquet of roses wouldn’t be enough.
* * *
Once Shannon arrived at the medical center, she stopped to check on Beth in the ICU. She wasn’t a family member, so she didn’t expect anyone to tell her anything specific about the young woman’s medical condition. But she’d hoped to learn something.
Fortunately, she ran into Doc Nelson in the hall. He told her what she’d heard last night, that Beth wasn’t expected to recover.
“Does she show any sign of brain activity?” she asked Doc.
“No, although they’re still running tests.” He placed a hand on Shannon’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “It’s never easy to lose a patient. But it might give you a bit of satisfaction to know that Beth’s husband was arrested and charged with assault last night. And if she dies, that charge will change to murder.”
“I sure hope she pulls out of it,” Shannon said, not only thinking about the young woman, but also her baby.
“Sadly, that’s doubtful.”
Shannon had been afraid he’d say that, but she thanked him for the update and let him get back to his patients.
Her next stop was the NICU. She wouldn’t be allowed to enter, but she wanted to get a glimpse of the baby.
When she peered into the window and scanned the incubators, she spotted Nate standing near one that held a preemie, which had to be Beth’s daughter. When he glanced up and saw Shannon at the window, he moved to the door, removed the hospital gown he’d been wearing over his clothes and the disposable booties over his shoes. Then he joined her in the corridor.
“How’s the baby doing?” she asked.
“Holding her own, but they say Beth probably won’t make it.” He raked a hand through his short hair.
“I’m sorry.” Shannon’s words were sincere, yet they seemed so inadequate.
Nate blew out a sigh, then looked down at his scuffed boots. When he glanced up, he said, “She told me I was the baby’s father. And I could be, but I’m not totally convinced.”
“You can always ask for a paternity test.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “I won’t do that. I’m afraid the results might prove she’s Kenny’s daughter, and I’d rather die than see him get custody of that sweet little girl.”
Shannon was sure Beth would agree—if she could.
“I still have the letter she wrote,” Nate said. “The one that claims the baby is mine.”
Yes, but Kenny was Beth’s husband. And while Shannon wasn’t sure about the legalities, she suspected that letter might not be enough. Nate would need to talk to a lawyer, but the poor man didn’t need anything else to worry about now.
After telling Nate goodbye, Shannon headed for the elevator so she could visit Rex. When she reached the third floor and entered his room, she found him sleeping. She could have left and come back later, but she had nowhere better to go. In fact, just being here, in a hospital setting, helped set her back on...
Well, she wasn’t on an even keel just yet. Her heart still ached after being reminded of what she’d known all along: Blake Darnell was a career-driven, manipulative man who didn’t have a loving bone in his body.
As if sensing her presence in the doorway, Rex cracked open one eye, then the other. When he spotted Shannon, he broke into a grin. “Boy, am I glad to see you. I was afraid I was going to wake up hearing harp music, fluttering wings and angel voices.” He chuckled. “But that would be a lot better than seeing crackling flames or feeling heat.”
She smiled as she made her way to his bedside. “Don’t worry, Rex. You’re still among the living.”
“I would have figured that out soon enough. My prostate keeps reminding me that I’m still alive and kicking. Dang it. I have to pee like a son of a gun.” He threw off the covers, rolled to the side of the bed and used the bedrail to help himself up.
“Want some help?” she asked, willing to assist but expecting him to tell her not to bother.
“Nope. I can do it.” He let his bare feet dangle near the floor. “Just give me a minute so the ol’ ticker has time to get the blood flowing in the right direction.”
He stepped onto the floor and winced.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Just that blasted knee. About five years back, Doc Nelson said it was rubbing bone on bone. If I’d known I was going to live this long, I might have let him talk me into having the darn thing replaced.”
“It’s not too late to have that surgery,” she said.
“The hell it isn’t. Besides, why let them cut me up now? I’m not going to run any more foot races.” He chuckled. “’Course I do need to trot to the john every now and then.”
Rex had no more than made his way into the bathroom when a knock sounded on the doorjamb.
Shannon turned, expecting to see a nurse, an aide or even Doc Nelson. Instead she spotted Blake. Her heart clenched, and her stomach twisted into a knot.
What in the world was he doing here?
* * *
Blake had feared that Shannon might have left the hospital before he arrived, but he was in luck.
The only problem was, by the scrunched brow that marred her pretty face, he could tell she clearly wasn’t happy to see him.
Instead of her typical workday attire of hospital scrubs, she had on a pair of jeans, as well as a light green blouse. Too bad she wasn’t also wearing a smile.
“I assume you came to visit Rex,” she said. “He’s in the bathroom.”
“Actually, it’s you I came to see. I need to talk to you.”
“I’m afraid I was just leaving.” She reached for her purse, which was sitting on the edge of the bed, slipped her arm through the strap and let it hang from her shoulder.
“Don’t go yet,” he said.
She folded her arms across her chest, her body language telling him she’d shut him off before he’d uttered a single word. “What do you want to talk about?”
“For one thing, I need to apologize.”
She arched a delicate brow. “Without any chocolate or roses?”
&
nbsp; “Would they have helped?”
Her only answer was to shake her head.
“I’m sorry if I offended you.”
Before he could continue his speech, she interrupted. “Offended me? You dangled my dream in front of me, just like a carrot, hoping to control me so I’d go along with anything you wanted me to do. But it didn’t work. I never should have gotten involved with you in the first place. What’s more, I’m not going to California—for school or any other reason.”
Nope. The flowers and chocolate wouldn’t have even come close to helping him repair the mess he’d made this time.
She didn’t appear to be especially mad, though. Actually, he was much better at handling anger. Instead, she was hurt—and deeply. That was going to be a whole lot more difficult because the touchy-feely stuff always threw him off stride.
But he was ready to go to any length to get back on her good side. “I didn’t mean to attach conditions to that offer. I only did it because I wanted you to live closer to me—or even with me. I feel something for you, Shannon. Something I’ve never felt for anyone before.”
“Then why did you try to bribe me? Why couldn’t you just come out and talk to me? Were you afraid to admit what you were feeling, whatever that might have been?”
She’d hit the nail square on the head. His knee-jerk reaction was to deny the truth. Instead, he needed to explain. “For most of my adult life and a lot of my childhood, I wasn’t encouraged to feel anything at all—anger, grief, frustration. Or even love. Keeping things locked up inside became a habit.”
“A bad one.” She slowly shook her head. “What’s worse, I’ve been looking for a man like my father, a man who is strong enough to tell me he loves me, to show me in a million different ways—but never with money or gifts.”
“I can try to be that man.”
As tears filled her eyes, he felt compelled to cross the room and take her in his arms, to press her head against his shoulder, to tell her he loved her from here to eternity. But in spite of his resolve to be more open with her, he suspected his claims and promises wouldn’t be enough.
Even though he feared hearing her answer, he asked, “What’s the matter? Why are you crying?”
“Because you’ll never be that man I was looking for, but it’s too late anyway. My plan to find him was ruined when I met you. I didn’t mean to, but I fell in love with you—not my dream guy.”