by Holly Martin
Eden smiled sweetly at her, even though inside she wasn’t feeling sweet at all.
‘Hi Milly, I need to see Dougie, can you tell me which room he’s in?’
‘I can’t give out room information, I’m afraid, and Mr Harrison has said that he doesn’t want to be disturbed by anyone,’ Milly answered professionally, smiling back just as sweetly.
Anger with Dougie bubbled over inside her and she leaned across the counter. Something in her face made Milly step back.
‘I really need to speak to Dougie and I will go and knock on every single bedroom door in your entire hotel if I need to, disturbing all of your guests, but I am not leaving here until—’
‘Rose Suite, top floor,’ Milly said, looking suddenly like she was fearful for her life.
Eden returned her smile to her face. ‘Thank you.’
She marched to the lifts and jabbed the button for the top floor. The corridor was deserted when she arrived, apart from one member of housekeeping who was busy cleaning one of the rooms. Eden didn’t recognise her but she knew the hotel took on seasonal staff from the other islands as there were quite a few tourists staying on the island over Christmas. Eden found the door for Rose Suite and hammered her fist against it. There was no answer, and no sound from the other side. She knocked again; still no answer.
The housekeeper looked over at her in confusion. ‘Is there a problem, miss?
Eden fixed her with her best smile again. ‘Yes, I’ve left my key inside my room and I think my husband is in the shower.’
The housekeeper smiled. ‘No problem, I can let you in.’
She walked up to the door and pressed the key card against the lock. The light flashed green and Eden turned the handle, thanking the lady as she let herself into the room.
She was faced with a big lounge room first, with views over Mistletoe Cove in the distance but no sign of Dougie. His bags were there, but he hadn’t unpacked. He didn’t look like he planned on staying. TV sounds were coming from the bedroom so she walked in there to see him propped up against the pillows, watching some cheesy Christmas movie, looking like he hadn’t slept either. His eyes snapped to hers as soon as she walked in but he didn’t move, didn’t say a word. There was no affection, no sign of any love at all.
‘Security is lax round here,’ Dougie eventually said, grabbing the remote control and turning the TV off.
‘You gave me the million pounds,’ Eden said, not sure why she was leading with that when there was so much more to say, but she had to get to the bottom of it once and for all.
He stared at her for a while, clearly deciding whether to admit it or not. Then he shrugged. ‘Yes I did.’
He got up and rummaged in his bag, pulling out a familiar envelope that sparkled with gold glitter in the light from the window. He threw it on the bed in front of her.
‘You never threw your wishes into the blowhole, I had two envelopes in my pocket, you threw an envelope with a blank piece of paper in there and I kept your wishes so I could see what you wished for.’
She picked up the envelope and pulled out the piece of paper from inside. Sure enough, her handwriting, her wishes, stared back at her, not showing any signs of water damage at all. Emotion clawed at her throat.
‘And what about my list? What my perfect relationship would look like. How did you know about that?’ Eden asked.
‘I wasn’t really asleep when you were talking to Bella and Freya. I was dozing but I heard everything you said.’
Anger flared up inside her. ‘So all this, telling me you love me, giving me the money, crossing off everything on my list, it was all just some stupid joke?’
It was his turn to get angry now. ‘Is that what you really think? What kind of arsehole do you think I am?’
‘I don’t know, you took me to bed, made love to me and lied to me. What was it, a pity shag? You knew that I loved you and thought that you would have sex with me to make up for the fact that you didn’t return the feelings?’
Dougie stared at her in horror. ‘I loved you; I did all this because I loved you.’
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registered the word ‘loved’, not ‘love’.
‘I came back here for you,’ Dougie said. ‘Yes, getting to see Rome and Bella was a tiny part of it, as was working with Isaac on our new gaming company, but you were the main reason I sold everything I had and moved back here. I wanted to be with you, even if we could only be friends. I loved you so much I didn’t want to be away from you any more. I did everything I could to make you happy, but it wasn’t enough. You say you love me but you don’t really, do you? Maybe you were in love with me twelve years ago, or in love with the idea of being with me, but you’re not in love with me now. The massage, the candlelight dinner, making love to you in front of the fire, the ride on the unicorn, I gave you a million pounds for Christ’s sake. I did everything you wanted and it still wasn’t enough. And instead of just talking to me, telling me that you didn’t actually love me any more, you went all the way to Mistletoe Cove to wish that I didn’t love you,’ Dougie choked out.
‘Wait, that wasn’t what happened,’ Eden said.
‘Then please, enlighten me.’
She hesitated, knowing that what she was going to say made her sound crazy, especially now she knew the truth about the wishes.
‘I started to believe that these wishes were real and I know how insane that sounds, there is no such thing as magic, but with Clare telling me how her gran’s wishes came true and then Rosa as well, and you were so adamant that it was all real… I knew there was no way you could have known about the million pounds and you lied to me and said it wasn’t anything to do with you. And deep down, I knew you were lying. I knew you were up to something and it just made me start doubting everything. And then with the news of the snowstorm and all the things on my list you were crossing off, do you know what, it scared me, it scared the crap out of me, because if those wishes were coming true, then it meant that you only loved me because you were under some spell. And the rational part of my brain said it was crazy to think that, I knew magic didn’t exist, but I couldn’t escape the fear that none of this was real. You came back here and three days after you arrived you were telling me you loved me when you had never showed any sign of having feelings for me before. Not even a week after you told me you didn’t want to get married you were proposing and telling me you wanted to make a baby. Everything was too perfect and I kept thinking of that old adage of “If it seems too good to be true then it probably is.” It was all happening so fast. We hadn’t even gone out on one date and there you were offering me a ring and telling me you wanted forever. And I got scared that you were only doing it because of the wishes. I wanted you to love me because of me, not because of some stupid wish I made. So yes, I decided to try to undo the wish and part of it was just trying to prove to myself that everything you said was real so I could put these fears away once and for all. And it was real, you loved me all along?’
He swallowed. ‘Yes.’
Relief, frustration and guilt washed over her. She wanted to shake him and kiss him and cry with happiness and anger all at the same time.
‘Damn it Dougie, if you loved me, why not just go about it like a normal person instead of all this nonsense with the wishes?’
‘I wanted you to believe in magic again. I had no idea what your wishes were going to be when I came up with this idea, but I wanted to make them come true for you. When I told you that I loved you, I hadn’t even seen your wishes then, that came from the heart, not because of something you wrote on a piece of paper. I hadn’t even planned on telling you then. I just wanted to kiss you and then ask you out. I planned on doing it all properly, taking it slow, but our kiss in Mistletoe Cove was something else, I know you felt that too. And then you quite rightly wanted to know why I had kissed you and then we spent the night in bed together and you wanted to make love straight away and god, I couldn’t say no to that. Yes it was happening fast but I had ne
ver been so happy before. It felt right. But even if I hadn’t done these stupid wishes, I wouldn’t have done anything differently in our relationship. I probably wouldn’t have given you a million pounds, and I wouldn’t have wasted time and money trying to get a snow machine here for your last wish, but I would have still tried to cross off everything on your list. I wanted to make you happy. But I don’t regret the wishes. Your hopes and dreams were such a big part of who you were when you were younger and you lost that. I wanted to bring that back for you.’
Tears filled her eyes at this beautiful gesture from him but she still felt unjustifiably angry at him; if it hadn’t been for the wishes she wouldn’t have started doubting his feelings for her.
‘Yes, my hopes and dreams died the day you left for America. I loved you so much and you kissed me and you left. You broke my heart because going to America was more important to you than I was.’ She wasn’t sure why she was bringing that up now after all this time, but she’d never had an opportunity to tell him how she felt before and suddenly it seemed important to tell him how much he had hurt her all those years ago, that her fear had come from being hurt again. Not just her craziness over believing in the wishes.
‘And that’s a decision I’ve regretted every day since then.’
‘Yet it still took you twelve years to change your mind.’
‘I had no idea I had anything to come back here for. Do I need to remind you that you never told me how you felt either? But that’s what the crux of all this fear was, wasn’t it? It was that you didn’t trust me.’
What Rome had said the day before came back to haunt her, because he’d said the same thing.
‘You know what, I didn’t. I was working on it but I didn’t need gifts of money or flowers or jewellery to make me trust you, I just needed time.’
‘If you really loved me, you would trust me,’ Dougie said.
‘Don’t give me that. I love you so much and I was desperate for you to see your worth, to see that I didn’t need all those treats and gifts, I just wanted you. But the truth is, you didn’t trust me either. Just like your dad was so desperate to keep your mum and he plied her with gifts to make her stay, that’s what you were doing with me. You didn’t trust that I loved you enough. How would it have worked if we had got married, you’d give me gifts every day to try to make sure I never left you? You didn’t trust in my love either.’
Silence fell on them as they stared at each other. They both had a fear of the past repeating itself, of losing each other, but it was this fear that had made them lose each other in the first place. There had to be a way back from this.
‘What happens now?’ Eden asked.
‘Well you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to get married or have children so I’m not entirely sure where that leaves us.’
‘Of course I want that with you, just… not a week after we got together. I still love you,’ Eden said, the words choking her.
‘Even though you think I’m an arsehole who lied to you to get you into bed?’
‘I don’t think you’re an arsehole but yes I still love you, even though you think I’m shallow and materialistic and the only way I could possibly love you is you giving me a million pounds.’
Dougie looked away angrily.
Outside the grey clouds looked dark and threatening but it was nothing compared to the atmosphere in the room.
It was quite clear that he wasn’t going to say anything else so she turned and walked away. She opened the door and stormed out, pressing the button for the lift, half hoping he would come after her but he didn’t. The lift arrived and she got in. She pressed the button and the lift whisked her down to reception and away from the man she loved.
She felt sick.
Dougie had done all these wonderful things for her and she had thrown them all back in his face. Her fear of getting hurt by the only man she had ever loved had made her hold herself back.
The lift doors opened and she walked out onto the street. The icy cold wind blew around her, shocking her out of her numb state.
There was no way she was going to let it end like this. She loved him, and yes they would have their teething problems and fears to get over, but if they loved each other then they would get through this.
She turned and marched back into the hotel and straight to the lift. She pressed the button but it seemed to be taking ages to get down, seemingly stopping at every floor. Not wanting to wait she took the stairs instead, running up them as fast as she could go. She finally got to the top and rushed down the hall to his room, banging her fist on the door again. Again there was no answer. There was no sign of the housekeeper either.
Eden ran round the corner to see if she could find her and luckily she was at the far end of the next corridor. She ran towards her and the housekeeper looked confused and surprised to see her again.
‘I’m so sorry, I’ve done it again. My husband wasn’t in before and now I’ve left my key and my bag in there,’ Eden said.
The housekeeper rolled her eyes but agreed to help her anyway. Eden had to grit her teeth to stop herself from telling the woman to hurry up as they walked back up the corridor together. Finally Eden was let back into Dougie’s room and she marched straight through to the bedroom again, but this time it was empty. She quickly moved into the bathroom but that was deserted too. Even his bags were gone.
‘Dougie!’ she called as she moved back into the lounge, wondering if there were any other rooms to this suite, but the place was completely empty. He had gone.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Eden stamped her feet, and blew into her hands as she watched the last ferry get ready to leave the docks. She hadn’t known what to do or where Dougie had gone but she couldn’t risk him leaving the island without talking to him first so, after leaving the hotel, Eden had come straight down to the docks to wait in case he had showed up there.
She couldn’t believe how spectacularly she had screwed this up. This past week, it had been everything she had ever dreamed of and so much more. Dougie had been so lovely and she had rewarded that kindness with doubt and suspicion. She had let fear of losing it push away the only man she had ever loved. And now she had lost it anyway.
She had no idea if Dougie would forgive her but she knew she wasn’t ready to walk away from this. There were no guarantees in life or in love but she couldn’t let fear hold her back any more.
She just had to find the man and make him listen to her.
She looked up at the dark early evening sky, with the promise of snow hanging in the air. But as the clouds rolled across, for a brief moment she saw a star shining down on the island. She closed her eyes and made one last desperate wish, that tomorrow, Christmas morning, she would somehow be waking up wrapped in Dougie’s arms.
She watched the ferry leave and turned to head back towards town. She took the road that would lead her back to her house, hoping that he would be there waiting for her but somehow knowing he wouldn’t be. She needed to get warm before she froze to death and then she’d spend the rest of the night looking for him if need be.
She walked back through the streets where Christmas decorations twinkled and families were gathered around enjoying the festivities and the thought of going back to her empty home made her heart break all over again. She passed her shop, all in darkness, and then turned down the little side street that would take her home. She passed Clare’s house, which was all lit up, and she could hear the sounds of laughter coming from inside.
Suddenly the door flew open and Clare came barrelling out.
‘Eden Lancaster, you are a pain in the arse. Where have you been?’
Eden stopped, stunned by this attack from her friend.
‘Down at the docks, why?’
‘Damn it, I didn’t think to look there. Why were you there? OK, never mind. We’ve been looking everywhere for you, we called but you’d left your phone in the shop.’
‘What’s wrong, what’s happened?’
‘Dougie’s been looking for you, he says if you want to talk, to meet him at Mistletoe Cove, but that was hours ago, I don’t know if he’s still there.’
Her heart soared.
‘Here take this.’ Clare handed her a torch.
She leaned forward and gave Clare a big hug and kissed her cheek.
‘Get off, save that for your man,’ Clare laughed.
Eden turned and ran towards the park and the path that would take her to Mistletoe Cove, the torch lighting her way over the hills. Surely, if he wanted to meet her at Mistletoe Cove, he wanted to sort this out. If he really wanted to call it off, he could do that at her house.
She came to the cave and quickly lowered herself into it. She could already see that the entrance to the other side of the cave was lit up with flickering lights from the beach.
She reached the cave mouth and looked down at the fire roaring on the beach, the fairy lights still hanging from the trees and the man she loved sitting next to the flames, with his head in his hands.
Suddenly he looked at his watch and she watched his shoulders droop. He stood up, picked up what looked like a remote and turned the lights off, then started kicking sand over the fire to put it out. He didn’t think she was coming.
‘Wait!’
His head snapped round to look at her and she quickly climbed down the steps to get to the beach. He ran straight up to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. He looked so relieved and happy.
‘You’re here. I didn’t think you were coming.’
‘I just got the message. I came back into the hotel just after I’d left but you had already checked out, we must have passed each other. Then I got scared you were going to leave so I’ve been waiting down the docks all afternoon so I could stop you.’
He look pained at this. ‘I’m never leaving you again, you have my word on that. I know it might take you a while to trust me and I understand that—’
‘I trust you. I do. God, you gave up your whole life in America to be with me, I don’t need a bigger sign than that to prove you’re in this for the long haul. I love you and I’m so sorry I doubted you.’