What context is that?
“The deduction context, especially through basic deduction. Once we have made such a context, all surreal scenes could be dealt with by people saying ‘I don’t believe this,’ and the paranormal events would be ignored easily. All we need to do then is just make it look like the talking cat and Asahina-san’s lethal beams are some sort of elaborate hoax, and our reality would remain intact, am I right?”
The cafe waitress was rather troubled by Asahina-san’s costume, yet she pretended not to see that while collecting our empty glasses. Koizumi waited till she left, then continued,
“Obviously, a talking cat is beyond the confines of common sense, yet the talking cat does exist. In other words, things that are not supposed to exist have now appeared. For our world, this is a very inconvenient fact.”
He flicked the water droplets on his glass with his finger and said, “In order to solve this problem, the movie must have a reasonable ending. One that is theoretically acceptable by everyone – or rather, by Suzumiya-san. An ending where talking cats, time travelers and alien magicians can exist.” “Is there such an ending?”
“Of course! It’s quite simple. All we need to do is to find a perfect explanation in the ending for all the unreasonable events that have occurred before.”
What’s your explanation then?
“It is all but a dream.”
“…”
We were all engulfed by a deafening silence. After a while, Koizumi spoke again, “I’m not joking…”
I looked contemptuously at this gentleman toying with his hair parting with his fingers and said, “You think Haruhi would accept such an explanation? She’s serious about getting a prize, she wouldn’t care whether the movie’s real or not. And now you’re saying it’s all just a dream? No matter how dumb she is, she’s not going to make a movie that stupid.” “Of course I have taken her feelings into account when making this conclusion, this is merely the most convenient ending for us. Having her declare that the movie is nothing but a dream, a hoax, or all made up would be the best solution possible.” For you maybe… It’s probably not a bad solution for me either, but what would Haruhi think of it? She has probably thought up a very shocking ending that she would be very pleased with.
Besides, I don’t want to get involved in dream-like affairs anymore. Furthermore, I don’t want to hear you pouring out long speeches at us, which aren’t fun at all anymore.
On the way home, I decided to stop by the pet food store. I bought the cheapest cat food bowl and some cat food at a special discount price, I even asked for a receipt before stepping out of the store. Shamisen wiped his face with his front paws and looked at me. The cat followed me as I began to walk.
“Now listen up. When we get home, don’t say a single word and behave like how a cat should behave.” “I don’t know what you mean by how cats behave, but since you have requested, I’ll just have to obey.” “Look, just don’t talk to me. And answer everything with a meow.” “Meow.”
My sister and mom widened their eyes at the sight of me bringing a wild cat home. I used the excuse that I thought up of earlier which was, “His owner needed to go on a trip and has asked me to take care of him.” To which they accepted gracefully, especially my sister, who cheerfully caressed Shamisen, while the demon-cat simply purred. Isn’t that rather un-catlike for you?
After a relatively peaceful night, I still had to return to school today. I wasn’t comfortable with leaving Shamisen at home, so I brought him to school as well. As I urged him to hide inside my bag, Shamisen replied boastfully, “All right then.” And crawled into the bag. I won’t let him out till we reach the school!
It was only a few days away from the school festival, the atmosphere within the school has begun to get more livelier as though in synchrony with Haruhi’s enthusiasm. What ever happened to yesterday’s relaxed atmosphere?
The early morning was filled with the sound of musical instruments and people singing, and there were people making signboards and notices everywhere. There were even people wandering around in all sorts of weird costumes, I had no idea which show they were participating in. Judging from such a situation, it wouldn’t be strange if one or two sliders from a parallel universe were to blend into this crowd. It was only the people of Class 1-5 who had no enthusiasm whatsoever. Maybe it’s because Haruhi sucked all their enthusiasm away?
When I entered the classroom, I found Haruhi already sitting on her seat and writing something vigorously.
“So you’ve finally decided to write a script?”
I walked to my desk as I asked. Haruhi hummed loudly and lifted her chin highly as she replied, “Of course not! This is the promotional flyer for the movie!” “Let me see!”
She picked up her notebook and hovered it in front of my face.
Asahina Mikuru-chan’s Precious Secret Video Collection Revealed! You’ll regret it if you miss this! The SOS Brigade proudly presents – The most stunning movie of the year! Come see what it’s all about! On it the above provocative words were written along with some other stuff about how the year’s going to end soon. I don’t really mind this, but wouldn’t it mislead people into thinking only Asahina-san would appear in the movie? If someone can actually figure out what sort of movie this is just by reading the above promo, I’d look at him with a new light of respect. Frankly, even as the cameraman, I don’t know what sort of movie we’re making, and I never had much of a chance to express my opinions on the topic. She’s probably not sure of it herself. Nevertheless, she sure knows how to write this many words for a flyer.
“I’m going to make copies of the flyer and give them out at the school entrance during the festival. Hmm, the response would be great! I don’t think Okabe would say anything if I wore a bunny-girl costume during the school festival, right?”
No, I still think he would have something to say about it. This is a prefectural high school with decently strict rules, after all. So it’s better if you stop giving the school deans any more stomachaches!
“Besides, Asahina-san has to prepare for her class’s food stall. Not to mention Koizumi and Nagato have activities with their classes as well. We’ll be the only ones free that day.”
Haruhi looked at me with suspicious looking eyes,
“So you’re saying you want to dress up as a bunny-girl?” How is that even possible? Just you would be enough. As for me, I’ll be standing behind carrying the promo board for you.
“By the way, you do know there’s only a few days left till the school festival this Saturday and Sunday, right?” “Of course I do.”
“Oh really? Seeing as to how relaxed you are, I would have thought that you’ve had the dates confused.” “How am I relaxed? Don’t you see me trying to think of more provocative words?” “Besides advertising, shouldn’t you be focused on more important matters? When’s the movie going to be finished?” “Soon. All that’s left is a few more retakes, then we’ll edit the scenes together, and then we’ll just add in the background music and visual effects during post-production and we’re done.” Now that’s surprising. Personally I feel that the number of retakes we require far outnumber the scenes we have already filmed. What movie was this director trying to make anyway? Not to mention we probably need to spend even more time in post-production work, I just hope I’m wrong.
During recess, between the third and fourth period.
“Kyon-kun!”
Her voice was so loud it could blow everyone inside the classroom into mid-air. Out of reflex, I turned to where the voice came from, and saw Tsuruya-san sticking her head into the classroom door. I can barely make out Asahina-san’s soft hair by her side.
“Come over here.”
I rushed over as though being drawn by Tsuruya-san’s smile. Haruhi maintained her habit of being out of sight from the classroom during recess, so she wasn’t here then. Probably wandering off somewhere in school. This was a great chance.
I came out to the corridor and Tsuruya-sa
n pulled my sleeve at once and said, “Mikuru has something to say to you!”
Asahina-san trembled as she handed me a small piece of paper, “This… Um, it’s a promotional voucher.”
“That’s the voucher for our class’s fried noodle stall!” Tsuruya-san further explained.
I graciously received it at once. It’s probably a discount voucher or something like that. According to the printed words on the chopped voucher, I could get thirty percent off with this when ordering noodles.
“Please do come with your friends.”
Asahina-san lowered her head deeply while Tsuruya-san opened her mouth as wide as a comic book character and smiled,
“That’s all for now! See ya!”
Tsuruya-san said and prepared to leave, Asahina-san also followed suit, but then decided to come back towards me. Tsuruya-san giggled when she saw this and stopped to wait for us.
Asahina-san clasped her fingers together and said to me, “…Kyon-kun,”
“Yes?”
“About what Koizumi-kun said the other day, I think it’s better if you don’t believe like that… Maybe you would think I have issues with Koizumi-kun if I say that… Um, I don’t like it that way as well, but…”
“You mean him calling Haruhi a God?”
If you mean that, don’t worry, I don’t believe him either.
“I, um… I have a different view on this, which means, um… It’s different from Koizumi-kun’s explanation.” Asahina-san sighed and looked at me with her eyes opened wide, “Suzumiya-san does indeed possess the power to change the ‘present,’ but I don’t think she has the ability to reconstruct the world. This world has been this way since the beginning, it’s not created by Suzumiya-san.” If that’s the case… Does that mean her views are in contrast with Koizumi’s? “I believe Nagato-san thinks differently about it as well.” Asahina-san said while twirling the tip of her uniform with her fingers, “Um… If I say this, people wouldn’t feel comfortable about it, but…” Tsuruya-san smiled looking at us as she stood from a distance, carrying the face of a mother swallow looking forward to seeing her offspring leave the nest at last. I wonder if she’s got the wrong idea about this? Asahina-san sounded very stiff as she said,
“Koizumi-san’s views are different from ours. If I asked you to… Um… Not believe Koizumi-kun so easily, I sound like I’m criticizing him, but…”
She frantically waved her hands,
“I’m sorry, I can’t explain this properly. I’m no good in saying this… I mean…” She kept lowering her head and then looking up at me repeatedly, “Koizumi-kun’s people have their own stance and theories, and so do we. I think Nagato-san’s the same as well, so…” Asahina-san looked at me as though finally mustering all her courage to decide something. She’s still so cute even when she looks this serious. I trembled in joy at being able to observe her pretty face from such a close distance. I confidently replied to her, “I know, how could Haruhi possibly be a god?”
Instead of donating to that jerk’s religion, I’d rather have Asahina-san set up a new religion and worship her as its founder. She’d probably attract more believers this way. I’d probably make a seal of approval just to guarantee this.
“For me, Asahina-san’s explanation is much easier to understand than Koizumi’s.” Asahina-san revealed a cheerful smile; I guess this is how sweet beans would look if they could smile.
“Um, thank you. But Koizumi-kun isn’t included within myself, please understand.” She said some very ambiguous words, then looked up at me, and then quickly turned around as though trying to run away. I wasn’t even trying to hug you.
Asahina-san waved gently at me, then she followed Tsuruya-san like a black duckling following her mother and left.
We really ought to speed up our progress. I headed towards the clubroom while wondering why I was thinking about this so seriously. I had wanted to use the computer for a while, but I didn’t expect someone would already be sitting inside, wearing her pointed hat and black cloak while reading her book.
Before I could say anything,
“I believe this is what Asahina Mikuru thinks,”
Nagato said as though she could read my mind.
“Suzumiya Haruhi isn’t the creator and was not responsible for the creation of this world. This world has existed in this state since long ago. The supernatural existence of espers, temporal anomalies and alien life forms wasn’t created through the wishes of Suzumiya Haruhi, and has existed since long before that. Suzumiya Haruhi’s task is to unconsciously discover the existence of these beings. She started using her abilities three years ago, but her discoveries have not led her to become self-aware. She is able to search for the paranormal, but it contradicts with her own views on the paranormal world. This is because one faction is still preventing her from becoming self-aware.”
She calmly spoke without even smiling. Nagato looked at me with her piercing eyes as she said the above, she then said the following before closing her mouth,
“And that would be us.”
“Asahina-san has different explanations from Koizumi. Would it become inconvenient if Haruhi were to witness something extraordinary?”
“Yes.”
Nagato turned her gaze back to her opened book, as though our conversation wasn’t that much of a big deal, “She came to this time plane for the sake of protecting the future she came from.” I have a feeling that she’s casually describing something that sounds very important.
“For Asahina Mikuru’s time plane, Suzumiya Haruhi is a variable. In order to stabilize the future, it is necessary to input the correct value. Asahina Mikuru’s mission is to adjust that variable to an acceptable value.”
Nagato quietly flipped the pages without making any sound. Her emotionless black eyes didn’t even blink once as she continued,
“Koizumi Itsuki and Asahina Mikuru have different approaches in their missions regarding Suzumiya Haruhi. They will never acknowledge each other’s interpretation, since each side’s theory would threaten the very meaning of the other’s existence.”
Wait… didn’t Koizumi say he only got his powers three years ago? Nagato quickly answered my question,
“No one can guarantee that Koizumi Itsuki is telling the truth.” The image of his handsome smiling face flashed by in my head, true enough, no one can guarantee that he’s trustworthy. It’s just that Koizumi was able to provide a decent explanation for all the things that I’ve encountered so far. Who could guarantee that it’s the right explanation? Even Asahina-san told me not to believe him, but Asahina-san was the same, who could guarantee that Asahina-san’s explanation is correct? I looked at Nagato and thought, maybe what Koizumi said wasn’t true, and maybe Asahina-san never realized that her opinion could be wrong, so perhaps only this calm alien wouldn’t lie.
“So what do you think? Which is the right explanation? You mentioned something about the possibility to self-evolve, what kind of outcome would that have?”
The bookworm wrapped all in black remained emotionless and said, “No matter how accurately I convey it, there is no way you can find solid proof for it.” “Why’s that?”
At this moment, I saw something I rarely ever see. I was stunned to see Nagato having a confused look as she said,
“Because no one can guarantee what I say is true.”
Nagato then placed down her book and left the club room, leaving this line, “At least for you.”
The chimes began to ring, signaling classes were to begin soon.
I don’t get it.
How could a normal person get it?
Whether it’s Koizumi or Nagato, they ought to explain things in a language that people can understand! I even suspect whether they had intentionally made it hard for me to understand. You two ought to take more time to organize your thoughts, or else no one is going to listen to what you say, as the words will simply go in one ear and out the other.
As I walked with my arms crossed, a bunch of people in stateless
medieval costumes walked past me and turned into the corridor corner. If Nagato were to blend in with these people with her black cloak, no one would suspect a thing. Maybe some class has decided to begin filming their own science fiction movie, not wanting to let Haruhi take all the glory. That wouldn’t be too bad, at least they won’t be as frustrated as I am and would happily make their movie, led by a director with more common sense and giving sensible commands.
I sighed deeply and headed for the Class 1-5 room.
Haruhi was the only one who thought the movie production was going according to plan, while the vertical lines just increase and darken on my face, as well as Koizumi’s and Asahina-san’s.
As filming progressed, many things happened along the way. For some time, the toy gun has been spraying water bullets instead of BB bullets; Asahina-san would tremble every time Haruhi brought a different colored contact lens (the gold ones could fire rifle bullets, while the green ones would emit micro-black holes), and she would end up getting bitten by Nagato; the cherry blossoms wilted the following day as soon as they had blossomed; and it seems the white pigeons in the shrine have now morphed into the supposedly extinct passenger pigeons (as Koizumi secretly told me); even the Earth’s precession has shifted a bit (according to Nagato).
The normal world was slowly beginning to derail.
As I dragged my exhausted body home, the whiskered animal opened his mouth again, “So is it fine as long as I keep my mouth shut in front of that energetic girl?” The cat sat on my bed with the posture of the Sphinx.
“You sure are quite obedient,” I gently grabbed on Shamisen’s long tail, which eventually slid out of my fingers.
“Since that is what you wish, though even I feel that it wouldn’t be a good thing to let that girl hear me speak.” “Well, that’s right according to Koizumi.”
As this cat can talk, we needed to find a plausible reason to explain why it could talk. A simple solution is to create a world where no one would find it strange to see cats talking. But what sort of world would that be? And what kind of cats would there be?
Volume 2 - The Sighs of Suzumiya Haruhi Page 16