by Mia Henry
‘O no, I can’t talk to Chad. Please you tell him what I said. My mom said that if I ever talk to Chad she would go to jail.’
Gina was now looking scared and afraid. She was convinced that if she spoke to Chad her mother would go to jail.
The girls were now happily settling in. Sadly it wouldn’t be long before their whole demeanor changed. It started after their mother visits.
The girls were very excited to see their mom. She flew into the Bay late Friday afternoon. Ella dropped the girls off at the hotel. All happy and jubilant, they hugged Ella goodbye and both left with the parting words, ‘See you Sunday.’
Amber appeared cold and aloof.
On Sunday morning Ella, along with her friend Annette, collected the girls at the airport as arranged. The girls were extremely emotional on saying goodbye to their mom.
Amber repeatedly told them, ‘remember our pinky promise. Next time I come here is to fetch you.’
Both remained very upset and withdrawn for the rest of the afternoon. They distanced themselves completely from Ella and the rest of the family. They spoke about their mother constantly and kept going on about how great she is.
Gina, sobbing inconsolably, kept saying,
‘My mother loves me too much so she will never take drugs’.
‘There is nothing wrong with my mother’.
‘My mother was so nice and kind to us all weekend’.
Stella looking visibly upset, would add,
‘My mother is looking so beautiful now that Chad has left. We haven’t seen our mom look so pretty in years cause she is now wearing make-up and dressing so nicely.’
Both girls bad mouthed Chad terribly, blaming him for all their mother’s woes. They went on to say that the cars are still going to the farm looking for him.
Still sobbing Gina continued,
‘The courts and the lawyers are very happy with my mother so we can go back to her now.’
For days after her visit, they remained distant from the family, huddling together and whispering to each other. They also wanted to sleep together, something they had never requested since moving in with the family. Next morning, they didn’t want to go to school. Ella insisted despite them being in a terrible emotional state. As they left Ella just burst into tears. She was distraught and felt terrible that she had insisted that they go to school.
She phoned the psychologist who reassured her that it was the right thing to do and arranged that she see both girls that afternoon. Gina had stopped psychotherapy three weeks prior because she was doing so well. Now they had been rudely dumped back to square one.
It later came out the Amber coerced the girls into writing a letter about how much they disliked Ella and the family and how much they hated living with them, so that Amber could give it to her lawyer.
Her lawyer had also since become her lover. In just a spate of a few weeks they were already living together.
The very next evening at the supper table whilst Ella was dishing up Gina said to her, ‘Please give me very little food. My mother said that my tummy and legs are getting too fat.’
The following day, as Ella was once again dishing up supper, Gina remarked, ‘Please don’t give me any rice. My mom said that rice makes you fat.’
Stella then added, ‘Yes my mom said that fat is gross and if we eat too much we will get fat.’
These were the kind of continuous obstacles with which Ella had to contend. Amber continued her manipulations, trying her utmost best to turn the girls against their aunt. It saddened Ella that the more dealings Amber had with her daughters, the more unsettled and unhappy they became.
Stella also mentioned that her mom had told her that she had sold all the horses with the exception of hers. To the contrary Ella had been told that Amber had also indeed sold Stella’s horse. Since Ella was trying to reinstill good values, one being ‘no lies’, she told Stella that her mom had sold her horse, and reiterated how sad and hurtful it is when people lie. Stella immediately sprung to her mom’s defense by saying, ‘she wouldn’t tell me she hadn’t then.’ Stella now felt the need to protect her.
That evening, Ella overheard Stella telling her mother to stop lying, that she had sold her horse. Amber then obviously confessed as Stella became so furious that she didn’t want to speak to her mother the next day.
Richard had on his own accord, despite the clear advice from the Family Advocate, permitted Amber to call the girls every evening. As disruptive, as that was, Ella hoped, that with time it wouldn’t affect the girls so much.
A week following Amber’s visit she didn’t call for two consecutive nights. Although this initially upset the girls tremendously they soon returned to their former selves. Gina became affectionate toward Ella again and even requesting Ella to share her bed with her.
And so the yo-yo continued for months.
Stella wasn’t so badly affected, but it had a definite detrimental affect on Gina who was only eight at the time. Gina was characteristically happy, cheerful and joking but as soon as her mother called she would become very emotional and unsettled. Her mother had led her to believe that she no longer had a drug problem so Gina was battling to comprehend why she should still be separated from her mother.
Amber was contravening the Law of Custody by confusing the girls with false promises and false accusations. The law reads:
Any form of indoctrination by one parent against the other must therefore be severely frowned upon by the court, for it does not take the needs of the child into consideration and merely serves to undermine the child’s self esteem and trust in those people upon whom they are dependent. This sort of behavior not only confuses the child, but undermines their self esteem, their self respect, their pride in themselves and their concept of the future.
The psychologist was also very concerned about the affect their mother’s manipulation was having on the children. She had a tough session with Gina that Monday after her mother’s visit. The psychologist once again confirmed that instead of Amber, acknowledging that she had a problem and being grateful that her girls were being taken good care of, she was leading the girls to believe that they had been removed unnecessarily. It was manipulative and irresponsible behavior, making it evident that she did not have the best interests of the girls at heart.
Matters improved markedly when six months after the removal of the girls from their mother, the courts awarded Richard sole custody. Amber had lost her power over the situation. She would nonetheless, continue to clutch at every straw in the attempt to reclaim it.
Shortly after custody had been awarded, something happened which she conspired to use against Richard by accusing Ella of being unfit to care for the girls. Her attempt failed.
Ella and the children, except Tammy, had decided to travel to Bloemfontein for a weekend to watch an interschool rugby festival. They departed on Friday afternoon immediately after everyone was out of school. It was a seven-hour drive so they estimated getting to Bloemfontein just after seven that evening. There were lots of ‘stop and go’s’ on the road due to road works. It was also raining heavily which delayed their trip substantially. Their new estimated time of arrival was now eight thirty pm.
They were travelling in Rob’s SUV. Ella had just looked at the clock. It was one minute to eight. They still had about 40 miles to go. It was pouring with rain and the temperature was cold and icy at 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Ella had reduced her speed because of the rain. At that point she checked that all the children had their safety belts on. One of the girl’s had removed her belt. Ella made sure that she rebuckled. Exactly three minutes later, Ella suddenly had no control over her car steering. It was the most frightening experience. The SUV started veering into the lane of oncoming cars. She removed her foot off the accelerator and allowed the car to do its own thing. It veered across the road onto the embankment. Unfortunately striking a boulder, which catap
ulted the car into a forward roll three and a half times onto its roof. How incredibly fortunate they had been not to have hit any oncoming cars.
The SUV had hydroplaned on black ice, a thin film of ice that forms on the tarmac in very cold wet conditions. Ella had been oblivious to the fact that there was ice on the road. The clock stopped at two minutes past eight, exactly three minutes after she had insured that all the children had their belts securely fastened.
Troy had seen sparks as the car rolled and fearing that the car might catch alight, quickly made it his business to get everyone out of the car. There was one small opening where they could climb out. All of the children squeezed themselves out but Ella was still hanging upside down, held by her safety belt. She was temporarily unconscious and her first recall was of waking up with a thud. Troy had unclipped her safety belt leading her to fall head first onto the car ceiling. In his panic it hadn’t even entered Troy’s mind that this would not have been a good move should she have suffered neck injuries. He was just focused on urgently getting every one out of the car quickly. He tried to widen the gap and literally pulled Ella out of the car as quickly as he could. On inspection of the car the following day, friends noticed chunks of Ella’s hair still stuck to the headrest.
Once Ella had established that everyone was safely out of the car she hugged all the children, deeply grateful that they were all alive. At that point Troy fell onto the wet ground complaining that his leg hurt. Amy and Stella walked towards the road to get help, hoping that someone would see them and stop. The visibility was poor as it was dark and pouring with rain. They were fortunate that a police patrol vehicle was just passing by. As soon as he realized it was an accident, he called Emergency Services requesting an ambulance.
Amy called Rob. His stomach crawled when he received the call. He was five hundred miles away and wondered about the possible extent of their injuries, especially to Troy who was lying on the wet ground in freezing conditions, barely able now to walk.
The patrolling policeman was alone and so was unable to move Troy into his car. He was also reluctant to do so, as he didn’t know the extent of Troy’s injuries. Ella covered Troy with every jacket she could find. The girls sat in the patrol vehicle. He had left the car running with the heater on, to keep them warm. He even gave his flasked coffee to them.
Gina had injured her mouth. She appeared generally fine but her mouth was bleeding quite a bit.
Ella, although in shock, physically felt fine. She checked again that the girls were OK and then checked on Troy. He was shivering uncontrollably. She felt so desperate and helpless having nothing more to cover him with.
The ambulances soon arrived. One lot of paramedics checked the girls to make sure they were stable. Shortly after, one ambulance left for Bloemfontein with the girls. They wanted to take Ella, but she insisted on waiting with Troy.
By the time the paramedics got to Troy he was suffering from hypothermia and was already going into shock, with a low pulse and poor vital signs. They struggled to insert an intravenous drip as his veins had collapsed from the cold. They spent a considerable amount of time with him before taking him away in the ambulance.
Ella left at the same time but in another ambulance.
By the time Ella got to the hospital, the two older girls, Amy and Stella, had already been checked and x-rayed. Everything looked fine. They were complaining of sore necks so they were both given a soft neck brace. Amy’s knee was hurting, but the x-ray showed no breakage. The doctors were happy that they could be discharged. Stella for a long time afterwards suffered with her neck, despite the normal x-ray and the same was true for Amy’s knee.
Ella then walked into the ER where they were busy with Gina. Just then, Gina vomited up a lot of blood. Ella felt terrified. She feared that Gina had internal injuries, which hadn’t yet been picked up. She was reluctant to leave her side.
The doctors’ were now, wanting to check Ella out, but she kept insisting that she was fine, that there was nothing wrong with her.
Gina was taken for a full body scan. The ER medical staff were not keen to allow Ella to accompany her, so she went to check on Troy. His body temperature had improved. His vital signs were again normal. They were also about to take him for x-rays. With both children away now at x-rays, Ella joined the others in the waiting room. Some friends that lived in Bloemfontein were there, as Rob had called them to let them know about the accident.
As Ella was chatting to the girls and the friends, she suddenly felt her right hand burning a bit. She looked at it and couldn’t believe that there was a shard of glass stuck deep into the top of her hand. All those hours she hadn’t felt a thing. She then walked back to the ER and got that attended to.
‘Are you sure we can’t check you out?’ the doctor again asked Ella.
‘It really isn’t necessary. I feel fine. Besides my hand nothing else hurts’, Ella responded.
At that point Gina returned back from x-rays.
‘Everything looks fine but we would like to keep her overnight just for observation’, said the doctor.
‘I would like to stay with her please’, insisted Ella.
‘That shouldn’t be a problem. Once you get to the ward ask one of the nurses to get you a recliner chair which you can place next to her bed’, suggested the doctor.
Ella was quite happy with that.
Troy also got back from x-rays shortly after Gina. He had a small fracture on the patella, his kneecap. They would bandage up his knee and then he too could be discharged.
It was now one o’ clock in the morning.
Ella was still in her clothes from the accident, which were muddy and wet. She had wrapped herself with a hospital blanket, but was desperate for a shower and change of clothes. All her other clothes were in a duffel bag so she was hoping that they hadn’t all got wet. She asked her friends if they wouldn’t mind taking her to the hotel where she could have a quick shower and then take her back to the hospital so she could stay with Gina.
The paramedics had cut Troy’s clothes. Ella had taken what she could from the car and managed to find some more dry clothes for Troy. The girls hadn’t got too wet so their clothes were still fine, besides the little bit of mud from when they climbed out of the car.
Once they had settled Gina in the ward, Ella and the other children left with their friends.
‘I won’t be too long. Just want to have a shower, put on other clothes, then I will come back to the hospital to stay with you’, Ella tells Gina. Gina was battling to keep her eyes open and before Ella left she was already fast asleep.
Ella’s friend dropped her at the hotel and insisted that the girls and Troy go stay with them so they wouldn’t be on their own at the hotel when Ella left to go back to the hospital. They made the suggestion that whilst Ella had her shower they would take the children to their home where they could have a warm bath and go to bed.
It was now nearly two in the morning.
Ella managed to find one dry item in her bag that she could wear. She then jumped into the shower. As she started washing her hair she felt a huge lump on the side of her head and then noticed a whole lot of blood on her hand. She instantly started feeling dizzy. It was probably the sight of the blood that had suddenly made her feel woozy. She thought she had better quickly jump out of the shower and dress so that if she did collapse nobody would find her lying naked.
It wasn’t too long before her friends were back to fetch her. She told them what had happened. She was still getting blood every time she dabbed her head with a tissue. They suggested that she go back to the ER and have them check her out.
Ella doesn’t really recall much after that. She vaguely remembered being scolded by the doctor as it was on her insistence that she wasn’t checked out properly. A brain scan was done. There was no internal bleeding but she would spend five days in hospital with a bad concussion, which was all just a vague
memory to her.
Her adrenalin had masked all her injuries for a while.
Eduardo and Richard were in Bloemfontein early morning by their side. It was a five-hour trip from Johannesburg. Monica and William also drove through from Johannesburg and were there later on Saturday morning. Ella doesn’t even remember them being there.
Gina was discharged.
Eduardo, Richard and William drove back to Johannesburg on Sunday but Monica stayed behind so she that she could drive them all back home to the Bay, once Ella was discharged.
Ella was eventually discharged on Thursday morning. Richard had organized the hiring of a van. They arrived back home safely late Thursday afternoon.
Amber thought she could use this opportunity to prove that Ella was not fit to care for her daughters. She threatened that she was going to lodge a complaint that Ella was neglectful and irresponsible which had resulted in a bad motor vehicle accident, putting her girls at risk. Nothing ever came of it. The Family Advocate didn’t even raise the issue with Ella. Besides, by then, custody had been awarded to Richard not Ella. It was merely another weak attempt with no merit.
A few weeks after the accident, Gina did require surgery to have a plate inserted in her jaw because of the injury she sustained during the accident. It meant going into theatre for the operation and then spending one night in hospital.
She had asked her mom to come be with her during her stay in hospital. Amber said she would. A day before the op, Amber informed Gina that she would no longer be coming. Gina was devastated. Ella tried to console Gina and reassured her she would go with her and even stay with her overnight in the hospital.
When Gina was admitted Ella requested the sisters in charge to permit her to stay with Gina, explaining to them how upset Gina was because her mother wasn’t there with her. The hospital and staff were exceptionally accommodating. They put Gina in a private ward in a large cot bed and added an extra bed for Ella.
The operation was performed but what followed was one long sleepless night. Gina was in severe pain. The sister had to call the doctor in during the middle of the night.