by J. Nathan
His eyes narrowed on mine. “That’s not what I see when I see you.”
A humorless laugh shot out of me. “Well you should.”
He walked over to the front door and grabbed the doorknob, his sudden change in demeanor disconcerting. “I’m gonna leave you alone with this pity party you’ve decided to throw yourself.” His eyes brimmed with disappointment as he stared across the room at me. “The Marin I’ve gotten to know is tougher than this.”
I threw my hands up. “Oh, great. Now the neighbors are gonna see you sneaking out of my house.”
“Nope. They’ll see me walking out the door in no particular rush. Because I know what I want. It’s you who needs to figure it out.”
He pulled open the door and walked out leaving me feeling like the pathetic fool I was.
CHAPTER NINE
Marin
I tossed a bag of chips into my shopping cart, moving on to the cookie aisle to grab CJ’s favorite sandwich cookies so I’d have them when he returned. My phone pinged in my handbag. I pulled it out and checked the text. You done being a wuss?
I huffed my frustration and dropped the phone back into my handbag, continuing down the aisle.
“Hi, Marin.”
I turned my head in the direction of the voice. One of the mom’s from CJ’s camp approached. I glanced into her cart. It was filled with fruits and vegetables. I glanced in mine. It was filled with junk food, soda, and juice. Ah, well. “Hi, Cheryl.”
“Is CJ getting excited for kindergarten?” she asked, all bright eyed and fresh from her daily yoga class.
“I think so. How about Greta?”
She laughed. “She already had me buy all the supplies on the list they sent home. She can’t wait for school to start.”
My phone pinged in my handbag. I pulled it out as Cheryl continued to talk about Greta and all her extra-curricular activities. I want to see you.
I began to shove the phone back in my handbag when it pinged again. I didn’t want to look but I couldn’t stop myself. Why are you so scared of me?
“Marin? Did you hear me?” Cheryl asked.
I shoved the phone in my bag. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
She continued on for the next fifteen minutes about the best teachers to get and the PTA moms to steer clear of as my phone continued to ping in my handbag.
* * *
Television lights flashed across my dark living room. Gayle and I were cozied up under a blanket on my sofa and had just binge-watched every chick flick we could find.
“Ugh,” I said as the happy couple on screen kissed in the rain after declaring their undying love for one another.
Gayle bumped me with her shoulder. “Stop being such a downer.”
“Movies like this make girls believe life is all about kisses in the rain. It’s not.”
Gayle shook her head. “You, my friend, need to get back out there. Just because you married an asshole doesn’t mean you won’t meet someone who isn’t.”
“Where? At the supermarket? In line to pick up CJ from school? Nice guys are married and the single ones are single for a reason.” Like they’re too young.
“Listen, I was the only one who warned you about Charles. I knew he was a stiff. I knew you were too good for him. Too fun for him. But you didn’t listen. So why are you still not listening to me? I’m wise beyond my years. I know things. I’m intuitive.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re something all right.”
She laughed.
A knock on the front door caused our eyes to dart to it.
“You expecting someone?” Gayle asked.
“No.”
Suddenly eager—too eager—to see who stood on the other side of the door, Gayle jumped to her feet and hurried to it.
“Tell me you didn’t hire me a stripper,” I groaned.
She threw back her long dark curls and howled with laughter. “No, but thanks for the idea.”
“Wait—”
She didn’t, throwing the door wide open. Her eyes rounded and a huge grin lit up her face.
“Hi.” Trace’s deep voice trailed in from the front step. “Is Marin here?”
My body buzzed at the sound of his voice. Recollections of his hands on me flooded my brain. Dammit.
“Holy shit,” Gayle said unapologetically, her eyes shifting to mine. “You didn’t tell me he was this hot in person.”
Trace stepped inside, a shit-eating grin on his face as his eyes found me on the sofa. “Oh, no?” He glanced back to Gayle who’d shut the door and was examining every inch of him like something she planned to eat. “What did she tell you?”
I stared Gayle down, hating her for opening the door and for her non-too-subtle gawking.
“Oh, you know. Girl stuff,” she said. “What brings you over?”
I could have died. I could have crawled up into a ball and died right there. Could she not play it cool?
Trace looked to me. “Why didn’t you respond to my texts?”
“You texted?” I feigned surprise.
He stared at me, his narrowed eyes unconvinced.
“I didn’t check my phone. Gayle and I were having a girls’ night.”
“But now it’s over.” Gayle reached for her sweatshirt from the chair and threw it on, slipping her feet into her flip-flops as she did.
“No,” I said to her through gritted teeth.
She shrugged at Trace. “Sorry I can’t stay and chat.” The damn traitor winked at me before disappearing out the door.
“She was nice,” Trace said.
“Yep.” I jumped to my feet and grabbed our empty glasses and plates and took off for the kitchen.
“So, why don’t you tell me why you really didn’t respond,” he said, following me into the kitchen.
“Because this is silly.” I placed the glasses and plates on the counter.
“What is?”
I spun around to face him, frustration taking hold of me. “Us.”
“I didn’t realize there was an us. There’s me trying to get you to hang out with me and you wussing out.”
“I’m not wussing out.”
“Prove it.” He moved closer, his eyes locked on mine as I took a step back slamming into the counter behind me.
Instead of wincing at the pain now emanating in my back or the unwavering look in his eyes, my body trembled with desire.
His hands landed on my hips, strong and possessive. “Show me your room.”
My heart drummed faster. My eyes fixed on his. “What?”
“Show me your room, Marin.”
“Stop.” The word barely came out.
“I can’t.”
I could feel my resolve weakening as I stared into his eyes. “When will you be twenty?”
The pulse in his jaw ticked as he grasped me tighter. “We’re not waiting.”
“When?” I demanded, hoping it would somehow relieve the trepidation racing through my brain.
“November third.”
“Fuuuuck,” I hissed under my breath.
But the word was cut off by his mouth crashing down on mine. Our lips collided in an explosion of need. Want. Desire. He may have been the one pursuing me, but I couldn’t resist him any longer. I wrapped my arms around his neck. My body arched into him as his tongue pushed inside my mouth, holding me prisoner while it tangled with mine. Trace lowered his hands to my ass, lifting me effortlessly. I wrapped my legs around his hips as he spun me around, slamming my back against the refrigerator. The glass inside clanked loudly. The friction of our bodies and the pressure of his chest right where I needed it did little to ease the throbbing between my thighs. I moved my hips, rubbing shamelessly against him as he devoured my lips. I pulled back breathless. “Upstairs. My room’s upstairs.”
Trace spun me away from the refrigerator and carried me across the kitchen and up the stairs, his eyes never leaving mine. I could see the pent up frustration. Hell, I could feel it. Once he found my room, he made a beeline toward my bed
. His knees hit the foot of it and he tossed me down. My body bounced on my white down comforter. Pillows tumbled to the floor. I propped myself up on my elbows with my chest heaving, taking in the vision of him standing at the foot of my bed. The sliver of light from the hallway provided the only light in my otherwise dark room.
Never in my wildest dreams had I ever envisioned this scenario playing out. Never had I envisioned anyone other than Charles in this room. And never someone so young staring at me like he wanted to do very bad things to me.
Trace reached behind his head, grabbing the neck of his shirt and pulling it off. My eyes explored those cavernous ridges and dips in his chest. Not one to be shy, he pushed his jeans and boxers down his legs, giving me my own private strip tease.
My breath hitched as I drank him in. Forget the bare chest, it had been some time since I’d seen a naked guy. And this one was the perfect male specimen. Trace’s lips tipped up in the corners as he stood there all confident and perfect, letting me appreciate him. Letting me admire what he’d been given and was ready to give me.
Unable to take the distance any longer, I crooked my index finger toward me. My body whirred with a mix of need and indecision as his smile grew. He slowly approached, crawling on top of me and easing me onto my back. I pushed the fears from my head as his eyes dropped to my mouth. If his mere look could elicit such want, I couldn’t imagine what having him inside me would do.
He lowered his mouth to mine. His kiss was slow and intoxicating as his body began moving over me. He wanted more but was giving me time to let it happen. He wasn’t going to push me. Or rush me. He was going to milk the time with me, teasing me with a taste of the pleasure he had to offer.
My hands slipped around his hips, my fingers trailing over his smooth back. His skin was silk under my hands, his solid muscles beneath such a stark contrast. I moved my fingertips down to the dip above his ass, palming his ass as he continued to move above me.
Trace pulled back, staring down at me with dilated pupils and labored breaths. “I want to see you, Marin. All of you this time.”
My belly dipped at the rasp in his voice and the desperate look in his eyes. My trembling hands reached for the hem of my shirt. Trace sat back on his knees, his eyes ready to take me in. I peeled the fabric over my head, hearing the catch in his breath as I discarded it on the floor. There was a heady feeling knowing how desired I was in that moment.
“You have no idea what this is like,” Trace said, as he leaned over me, easing me back.
My brows inverted. “What?”
“Having your fantasy come to life.”
I closed my eyes, shaking my head at the awe in his voice and the fear that awe elicited in me. “I’m afraid I’ll disappoint you.”
He brushed his thumb over my cheek. “You’ve already exceeded all my expectations and I haven’t even been inside you yet.”
The throbbing between my thighs intensified. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
He slipped down my body, his nose tunneling between my breasts.
I dropped my head back on the pillow as his lips pressed open-mouth kisses down to my stomach. I squeezed my eyes shut, the sensations already too much to bear.
This was happening.
This was really freaking happening.
Could he feel my heart jumping out of my chest?
His tongue shot out, swiping a path around my navel. My belly quivered. The rest of my body following suit. My sensitive skin became hyper aware of how bare I was and how his mere touch ignited a fire everywhere.
“I spent so many nights alone in my room thinking of you,” he murmured against my skin. “What you’d feel like. What you’d taste like. What you’d sound like when I made you come.”
I groaned as he kissed a path back up my stomach, his tongue shooting out and tasting the underside of my breast. Lightheadedness overtook me. I wasn’t used to this type of foreplay. I’d forgotten how amazing it could be. I grasped the sides of Trace’s head, guiding his mouth over my nipple. He took it between his lips, sucking with just the right pressure to make my eyes cross. The back of my head pressed deeper into my pillow as he bit down gently, tempering the sting with the pressure of his tongue. “Oh, God,” I gasped.
He smiled against my skin. “Every. Damn. Time.” He moved to my other breast, continuing the same glorious torture.
I kept myself centered, focusing on every sensation his mouth awakened. It was like he knew just what to do and when to do it. I could barely catch my breath before he descended, his hands coasting over my sides as he kissed his way back down to my navel. But this time he didn’t stop. He gripped the sides of my shorts and pulled them down, taking my underwear with them. I dragged in a deep breath as he moved lower, inhaling as he passed the crux between my legs. “Smells fucking amazing.”
I draped my arm across my eyes as he tossed my remaining clothes to the floor. His possessive hands parted my thighs. I pulled in a sharp breath as he buried his face between them. He didn’t hesitate. His tongue shot out, licking a path up my seam, back to front, pushing on my clit with pulsing beats. I whimpered, unable to hold back as he repeated the same glorious torture over and over again.
“You taste so good,” he said before his tongue thrust deep between my folds.
Shamelessly I moaned, finally understanding the meaning of ecstasy. Because Trace between my legs—making me feel more worshipped than I’d ever felt in my life—felt so. Damn. Good. “Don’t stop.”
“Not going anywhere,” he murmured, the vibration against my skin causing my eyes to pinch tighter. He returned to my clit, sucking it between his lips and moving it slowly back and forth. As if that sensation wasn’t enough, he flattened his tongue and pressed on it, then flicked it relentlessly.
Oh. My. Freaking. God.
I couldn’t take the pleasure. It was all too much. All too intense. My body coiled, all the tension amassing in that tiny spot filled with so many glorious nerve endings. One last suck and flick sent me toppling over the edge of reason, plummeting into a vicious spiral. My breath rushed out of me all at once as my chest heaved.
Trace slid back up my body, stopping when he hovered over me wearing the smuggest smirk I’d ever seen. I wanted to lick the dimples that dug into his cheeks. Instead, I savored the buzz of my body. The weight of him over me. The lust in his eyes.
“That’s what I hoped you’d sound like.” He buried his face in the side of my neck, assailing my skin with open-mouthed kisses. His hand drifted down my body to the now sensitive skin between my legs. Two fingers slipped inside me, slowly pushing in and out, seeking any rogue tremors. “I could do this all night long,” he murmured.
My eyes widened. There was no way I had the stamina he had, especially since it had been so long.
“Making you feel good is quickly becoming my favorite thing to do,” he continued.
Both flattered and afraid, I released a sigh. To keep this thing between us casual—to keep either one of us from thinking it was something it wasn’t—we both needed to benefit. “Let me make you feel good.” My throaty voice sounded nothing like my own.
“You already are,” he said as he dropped slow kisses up and down my collarbone.
I pushed on his chest, trying to shift his weight off me. He took the hint, withdrawing his fingers and rolling onto his back with me clinging to him. Bare skin to bare skin we were a perfect match. I didn’t want to lose the contact. Didn’t want to lose his solid body beneath mine. Because in that moment, it was just Trace and Marin.
Nothing else existed.
Trace reached off the side of the bed and dug into the pocket of his jeans, returning with a condom. I pulled it from him and sat on his thighs. He locked his arms behind his head, his biceps bulging as he relished in the sight of me naked on top of him. His heavy-lidded eyes confirmed his claims. He had wanted this with me. I tore open the package and rolled the condom on him. His eyes zeroed in on my fingers. “God, that feels good.”
I
pressed my hands into the mattress on either side of Trace’s head and leaned down. His erection pressed to my belly as I buried my lips in the side of his neck. I dragged my tongue up from his collarbone to the soft skin beneath his ear, latching playfully onto his earlobe and tugging gently.
“Oh, fuck. I’m not gonna be able to keep my hands to myself,” he growled as his hands dropped to my ass, his fingers digging into my flesh.
I continued sucking away at his skin as I aligned myself with his straining erection. My wet skin drifted over the length of him, just shy of letting him inside. Back and forth. Hitting the tender spot he’d worshipped so thoroughly over and over again.
His head flew off the pillow as his hands shifted and grasped hold of my hips. “Are you trying to kill me?”
I sat up with a grin and he wasted no time. His hands guided my hips until I hovered over him. I lowered myself slowly, adjusting to the size of him as I sank to the hilt.
Gahhh.
Trace’s head dropped back, his eyes squeezing shut. “Holy fuck.”
I rocked my hips, lifting them then sinking back down. Once I found my rhythm, his teeth clenched and moans resonated from the back of his throat. He cracked his eyes and watched me, his focus dropping to where we were connected. “You feel so much better than my hand ever did.”
My head dropped forward, my hair falling over my shoulders as my eyes drifted to where his gazed was locked. In the morning I might’ve regretted the decision to sleep with him, but right then, right when everything felt exactly the way it should, I had no regrets. I followed my heart for once in my life and ignored my head. And holy Jesus it felt so good.
Trace’s breathing became ragged as one of his hands drifted from my hip to where our bodies were joined. His thumb brushed over my throbbing clit. I sat up straighter as my head fell back, my hair draped down my back as my rhythm became faster and more intense. The pressure of his thumb intensified too. In one fell swoop my body tightened around him. Trembles fired out in every direction. And even though I wanted to stop to catch my breath and savor the glorious feelings spreading over me, I continued moving, wanting to bring Trace to that place. Wanting him to feel how good I could make it for him. Wanting to live up to his expectations.