Everyone dutifully filed out of the living room, moving woodenly. Soon the sound of plates and glassware and low chatter, though forced, was coming from the kitchen.
Kathy sat on the chair next to Aiden and cupped his shoulder. He hadn’t been able to move from this spot yet. He wondered if he could. “I’m sorry we kept it from you,” she said. “I had to get my head around it, figure out what to do.”
Aiden met his mother’s blue eyes, put his hands in hers, and bit the inside of his lip so hard he feared he’d draw blood. His lids fluttered as tears welled in his eyes. He was going to absolutely lose it, just drop to his knees and sob in her lap.
She squeezed his fingers and gave him a soft smile. “Aiden Andrew Downey.”
He clenched his teeth.
“I need your strength more than ever.” Her bottom lip quivered. Aiden bit his tongue to keep from bawling like a baby. “You’re the one I’m counting on to get me through this.” She smiled through her tears. “I get to make the best of my life. Even though it’s ending.”
That did it. Aiden dropped his forehead into his hands, his hair covering his wet face, and cried silently, but hard. His shoulders shook, his nose ran, and his mother…his amazing, strong, beautiful mother, whom he was supposed to be strong for, shushed him and stroked his back, and promised it would all be okay.
But it wouldn’t.
It couldn’t.
Chapter 6
After a long dinner filled with laughter and stories, Lissa Francine left the Downey residence to catch a flight to Milan. Aiden thought Landon looked relieved to see her go. Mike and Kathy bowed off to bed, and Angel begged off, tucking her very tired and cranky nephew into his bed as well.
Landon and Evan had ventured to the den to break into their father’s scotch. Aiden was about to join them when Harmony tugged on his hand. “Can I talk to you?” Again, he couldn’t escape just how rough and foreign her touch was. Maybe because Sadie’s felt so right.
Sadie. How the hell was he supposed to tell her any of this? When Aiden had resigned to himself, and Shane, that Harmony would be around more if his mother’s cancer came back, Aiden had been preparing himself for the unfortunate, and, he thought, unlikely possibility.
Now that his mom had received the worst news of all of their lives, Aiden wanted to eat his words with a fork. He didn’t want Harmony here. He wanted Sadie here, as selfish as it was. Selfish, because he knew his mother would take the news of the divorce hard. And his family wouldn’t react well to a stranger being among them while dealing with a family tragedy. The last thing everyone needed was to try and warm up to Aiden’s new girlfriend while making funeral arrangements.
But Aiden wanted her there all the same.
Heavy dread settled on his shoulders. Harmony’s rattling bracelets brought him back to the present. She’d dragged him to the kitchen, put her henna-tattooed fingers on his chin, and turned his head to face her. Aiden pulled away from her touch and rammed his hands into his pockets.
She frowned, lowering her voice. “Hey, don’t be mean. I’m trying to do you a favor, man.”
You mean the way you did me a favor by shagging my best friend? he wanted to blurt, but only because he was upset about his mom. He wasn’t mad at Harmony. Not anymore. If she ran off and had sex with a thousand people, he couldn’t care less. She wasn’t his problem any longer.
Ah, the hidden beauty of divorce.
“Listen”—Harmony twisted a long, red dreadlock around her finger—“I’m gonna go.”
Aiden regarded her, his face flat. How could he ever have loved this woman? What sort of weird path was he on during their two-year marriage that drew him to her ambivalence and self-serving attitude?
“Well, you tried,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. She didn’t pick up on an ounce of it. She didn’t understand him any more than he got her.
“I’ll be back in the morning.” She adjusted the hoop in her nose. “I just”—she shrugged—“need a break. This is a drag.”
Aiden’s blood pressure simmered. He felt his face go red, maybe purple, he wasn’t sure. “No shit, Harmony,” he said, his voice lifting. “Cancer kinda sucks.”
That sarcasm she picked up on.
“Don’t hate, man. I’ll be back in the morning.” Was that supposed to make him feel better? “I told you I’d show up and do the dance.”
Aiden ground his teeth. “Don’t bother.”
“Hey—”
He resisted the very real urge to grab her arm and physically drag her out of the house. Instead, he turned and stalked to the front door and held it open for her. She loped, purposefully slow, to the door, lifting her purse as she went.
She turned before she left and said. “I’m really sorry, Aiden.” After the brief flash of sympathy, she turned and dug her cell phone out of her purse. Aiden wanted to slam the door on her, relieve some of the pressure from the anger brewing in his blood. But his nephew and his entire family were here. And she didn’t deserve his efforts. He shut the door softly and flicked the lock.
In the den, Landon was pouring a glass of scotch. When he saw Aiden’s expression, he cocked an eyebrow and poured a second. “Looks like you need a double.”
Evan was leaning on the fireplace, flicking a lighter repeatedly. He put it on the mantel and narrowed his eyes at Aiden. “Dude.”
“Not now, Ev.” Aiden accepted the glass from Landon, who gave him a knowing smirk.
“I’m glad she’s gone,” Landon said.
“Good riddance,” Evan muttered in agreement.
Aiden drank from his glass, refusing to confirm his brothers’ suspicions.
Landon poured a third glass and handed it to Evan before topping Aiden’s off. “You know you have to talk Mom into getting treatment, right?”
He liked to do that. Give a command disguised as a question.
“Yeah,” Evan piped up. “She’ll listen to you after we go back home.”
Aiden studied them both. “When are you guys leaving?”
Landon’s mouth flattened. “I’m going to fly out at five in the morning. I have a day full of meetings.”
“I’m staying the weekend. Norm’s running the shop,” Evan said of his tattoo parlor.
Aiden chuffed, draining his scotch in one big, burning mouthful. He addressed Landon. “You’re just going to return to work?” he rasped, the liquor shredding his already dry throat.
“Aren’t you?” Landon studied Aiden. A little too closely. “You know you haven’t mentioned the hotel you used to talk about nonstop.”
“Yeah,” Evan said, dragging out the word. “The casino-hotel thingy on the river you and Danny are doing. Isn’t that supposed to be opening this summer?”
Aiden refilled his glass despite everything in the room having blurry edges. “Fell through,” he grumbled. Along with his marriage, his friendship, his—
“What’s going on, Aiden?” Landon’s voice dropped to a soft, less-demanding tone.
That was probably why Aiden didn’t bark at his older brother’s intrusion. “You can’t tell Mom. Or Dad.”
Evan came closer. “What’s going on?”
“Or Angel.”
“Spit it out.” This from Landon, who was now frowning at him.
“Harmony and I are divorced.”
Evan looked disgusted. “And you didn’t tell us?”
“Mom was in remission,” Aiden forced himself to whisper. He felt like screaming.
Landon stared at Aiden, soaking in the new information. Processing. With that big ol’ businessy brain of his.
“She slept with Danny.” Aiden expected that admission to hurt. But he didn’t feel any less of a man admitting Harmony had strayed. That was on her.
“Christ,” Landon said. His hand landed on Aiden’s shoulder, a firm show of support. “I hope you killed him and dumped the body in the cement foundation for the hotel.”
Landon’s unexpected words hit Aiden in the center of swirling grief, set-in-stone con
fusion, and utter relief at unshouldering the secret that had been eating him alive. He actually laughed.
Evan allowed himself a smile. “And you invited her here?”
Aiden shook his head. “Stupid.”
Landon’s hand moved away from Aiden’s shoulder. “No. You did the right thing. Mom would have been crushed.” They stood in silence, the topic once again on their mother.
Evan polished off his drink. “Aiden, you have to get her back into treatment.”
The brief respite from sharing the truth about Harmony vanished, replaced with pressure. Mounted on top of more pressure. All he wanted to do was leave this house, drive to Sadie’s, and spill his guts. Tell her about his mom, ask for her advice, then bury his head in her hair for as long as she’d let him. Sadie was strong. She could handle this.
How had he convinced himself differently?
“Once they’ve calmed down, they’ll see that chemo is the right thing,” Landon stated.
Aiden found himself offended on his parents’ behalf. “They’ve known a week, you guys. They’ve made up their minds.”
Landon shook his head. “She’ll listen to you. Bring it up, tell her the benefits. Even six months is better than three.”
Bring it up? Tell her the benefits? Why was this Aiden’s responsibility? Why couldn’t his parents fight their own battle so he could fight his? Why wasn’t he in Sadie’s arms baring his soul instead of downing the nastiest drink ever fermented in his parents’ burgundy-and-forest green den? He groused at the border—hunting dogs in the woods—unable to put his thoughts into words.
“We won’t tell them about you and Harmony,” Landon said, still crafting his plan of attack. “When you talk to Mom and Dad, be sure and call me. Tell me their plans, and yours. I’ll help in any way I can.”
Evan poured another glass of scotch for himself and chuckled, stuck on the former topic of Aiden’s divorce. “Dude, congrats on ditching Harmony. For real.”
Aiden opened his mouth to tell Evan he was a jackass…if for no other reason than both his brothers seemed to think the conversation about their mom was over, but his phone buzzed, alerting him to a text message.
It was from Sadie. A photo of an actor from the motorcycle drama Sons of Anarchy hugging her against him appeared on his screen. But Aiden’s focus was a hundred percent on her—the woman he missed, the woman he needed—more than the air he breathed.
He’d forgotten she wasn’t home. He couldn’t go to her tonight, much as he wanted to, so he’d have to wait until Saturday.
Then he’d tell her everything.
* * *
Sadie loaded her bags into the back of her car and tipped the valet, pulling away from the hotel-slash-convention center and heading home. She’d managed to send Aiden only one text message while she was away. A feat, considering how badly she missed him. She glanced at the clock on her dash. She’d be home in plenty of time to stop by the grocery and come up with a decent meal for Aiden by tonight. She wasn’t the best cook in the whole world, but sort of felt like she owed him after a week of dodging and circumventing.
How could she have mistrusted him?
During the convention, the lonely nights spent on the downy duvet in her hotel room, Sadie gave herself a pep talk. Aiden was different from any man she’d ever met. And part of her, the part not between her ears busily crafting horrific outcomes, knew that Aiden was different. He wouldn’t go back to his cheating ex-wife. Not when he had Sadie.
She smiled to herself. She wanted him to have her. To stop denying their time spent together was more than dating. New territory for her for sure, but what choice did she have? Dating someone other than Aiden was not an option. He’d come to mean far too much to her. Seeing someone in his place would make her feel as if she were cheating on him.
She called to tell him he’d be dining at Chez Sadie this evening, and apologize for her absence this week. Tonight would be about dinner, wine, and kissing on her couch. And maybe more. There was a thought that kicked her pulse into high gear.
Aiden’s deep, resonating “hello” buoyed her heart. She sped down the highway, grinning like an idiot, and not caring how silly she looked.
“Hello, beautiful,” she said, using his words against him. He didn’t laugh. Or if he did, she didn’t hear it. Oh, well. It was a dorky joke anyway.
“Hey.” His voice was muffled. A female voice echoed in the background. “Yeah, Mom.”
Sadie’s heart swelled. She’d seen her. She’d heard her. Soon, she’d meet her. And she wanted that, she realized. Wanted to meet all of Aiden’s big, beautiful family. “That was your mom?”
“Yeah. She’s making lunch. My siblings are in town.”
Longing clenched her heart as she pictured meeting Aiden’s Chicagoan ad exec brother, his brother the tattoo artist, and his sister the graphic designer. She wondered if they were each as warm and honest as Aiden. And if they’d like her.
“I called to tell you I’m making you dinner tonight,” Sadie told him. “But don’t worry, I have a backup pizza if I screw it up.”
Again, he didn’t laugh. He seemed distracted. Sadie pressed the phone against her ear and heard background voices, his mother again. She was giving instruction, in the kitchen, from the sound of the clattering of pots and pans. “Harmony! Can you help?”
Sadie blanched. Harmony?
“Yeah, I’m not sure I can make it tonight, Sadie,” Aiden muttered into the phone.
This wasn’t happening. Not after she’d had a moment of stark clarity. Aiden wanted her, not Harmony. There’s no way he’d folded his ex back into his life so seamlessly within days of telling Sadie he missed her. Her brow beaded with sweat. This was one of those situations she worried needlessly about. One of those things she conned herself into only to later realize she’d been blowing things out of proportion…
“There’s…something I have to talk to you about.” Aiden lowered his voice and she heard shuffling, like he was hiding their conversation. Her stomach flipped. So it was true. “Now isn’t the time, though,” he said.
She used her free hand to pinch herself in the thigh. Pain shot through her leg. God. This was real.
“I’ll give you a call Monday night,” he said.
Before she could argue…or drive her car off the nearest overpass, he hung up. Sadie held the phone in the palm of her hand for a second, her thoughts swirling like angry black smoke around her. She tossed her phone to the floorboard of her car and turned up the radio.
Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think.
But her brain had already concocted one scenario after another. No matter how she tried to convince herself this was all a big misunderstanding, there were two irrefutable facts she’d heard with her own ears.
Harmony and Aiden were together at his parents’ house. And he wasn’t coming to see her tonight.
Sadie couldn’t see a silver lining to save her life.
Chapter 7
Perry hovered in Sadie’s cubicle, hands folded into a pleading gesture. “I’d owe you. Big.”
“Perry, did it occur to you I don’t want to work late for you tomorrow? Especially if it helps you save an account?” She smiled wryly.
“I did consider that.” He dropped his hands. “That’s why I’m offering you five percent of my bonus check.”
Intriguing. Sadie leaned back in her chair, rolling a pencil between her fingers. “Fifteen.”
“Ten.”
“Twelve.”
Perry narrowed his eyes at her. “Fine. Twelve. But only because the appointment I’m going to will secure my salesman of the year award.”
Bastard. He got that stupid award every year. She hated herself for it, but no matter how stupid Sadie tried to convince herself the award was, she wanted to win it. Just once. After Perry left her cubicle, she opened her planner to block out the overtime tomorrow and her eyes landed on an appointment she’d forgotten all about.
Drinks with Crickitt.
Cr
ap. She dialed her best friend’s number to cancel. Or reschedule for another night.
“Tell me to stop worrying incessantly,” Crickitt answered.
“Stop worrying incessantly. Is this about your hot boss?” Sadie asked, knowing her best friend’s ongoing issues with one very tall, very dark, very handsome billionaire.
Crickitt’s voice was barely a whisper. “I’m not answering that question.”
But Sadie could relate. Who among all of womankind wasn’t worrying incessantly? And about men, no less. While Crickitt fretted over Shane, Sadie fretted over Aiden’s call tonight. Ridiculous. All of it. She and Crickitt should declare themselves forever single and go on being happy about it.
“Don’t waste your time,” Sadie growled, suddenly pissed off. “All men are bastards.”
Sadie pictured Aiden’s bright eyes, devastating dimple, and hair falling into his eyes. Gorgeous. Funny. Sexy.
Still a bastard.
“Did something happen between you and Aiden?” Crickitt asked out of nowhere. Unless Sadie had announced her last thought, but she was pretty sure she hadn’t.
“I called to tell you I can’t do drinks tomorrow,” Sadie told her, hopefully avoiding the topic of Aiden for good. Crickitt asked if everything was okay and Sadie told her the truth—or part of it, anyway—that she had to work late.
But that answer didn’t satisfy Crickitt’s suspicions. “And you and Aiden…?”
Hearing that question, being given the opportunity to make her own future, Sadie decided on a little preemptive strike. Test out what she was ninety-nine percent positive was going to go down when—and if—Aiden called her tonight. She wanted to know if what she feared most happened, if it would crush her as completely as she’d imagined.
50 Hidden Desires Page 14