by Jake Irons
“What look?” I smirk.
“The look that says you think I’m taking advantage of Colorado’s progressive marijuana laws.”
I laugh. I had thought that.
“If the night was clear, you’d be able to see an incredible view of the Milky Way.”
“You mean the galaxy?”
“Yep.”
“Cool.” I look past him, out the kitchen window. It’s probably dusk, but hard to tell because of all the snow still falling. “What do you do for social fun?”
Eli shrugs. “Go hiking with Acer.”
“Does Acer like to hike?”
“Yeah.”
Eli takes a bite, and I take a bite. I’m trying to steer us closer to the heart of one of the great mysteries of Eli: why? Why did he disappear just as his popularity exploded? Why has he hidden himself away at the top of this mountain?
“Are you more of a loner type?”
He swallows. “I guess.”
“Have you always been that way?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. It suits me now, though.”
“Did it suit you in New York?”
His eyes narrow. Uh-oh.
“Yes,” he says, eventually. That isn’t true. In New York he was all about the party.
I try to act natural, and what’s more natural at dinner than stuffing one’s face? I take a big bite—mmmmmm, so good. “This really is so good. You could totally be a chef.”
“Thanks.” His smile is humorless.
I glance at my plate, then at his. We’re both almost done. Should I ask for seconds? Maybe not. I’ve already said enough about the food. We’re both almost out of wine, too. He left the bottle on the counter. I take my last bite, chew, swallow, and ask, “Do you mind pouring me another glass?”
He hesitates a beat before shaking his head, “Not at all.” He looks at my plate. “You done?”
“Yeah. And not to beat a dead horse, but it was delicious.”
“I don’t think you can compliment a cook too much,” he says as he whisks my plate away. He scrapes the little bits of food into the trash, puts the dishes in the sink, and says, “I was thinking of starting a fire. You interested?”
“A fire sounds nice.”
“Good. I’ll top off your drink on the couch.”
He didn’t direct me to the chair, or to the area in general, but to the couch. This could be out of concern for my ankle, but I’m still imagining all the fun things that could be about to happen on that couch.
Can I even handle more orgasms? The warming between my legs is a definite “Yes!”
“Sounds good.”
I sit on the left end, so I can lean against the armrest and watch for him. I try to get into a casual sexy pose, but I can’t quite get my legs right. I don’t know why I’m trying anyway; I know he wants me.
But I guess I want to make sure he does, and my ethical concerns be damned. It’s been a long time since I felt this attracted to a man; I can’t seem to rein myself in. I settle with a pillow behind my back, my right arm propped on the spine of the couch, and my fingers lost in messy sex hair.
I hear the sink run for half a minute, then the dishwasher open, things being put in it, then the dishwasher closing.
Eli appears in the living space with his glass and the wine. He places both on the mantel, then kneels to grab three logs from an iron firewood holder. He arranges them in the grate and grabs a tube of long matches from a cabinet to the right. He twists a knob on the floor, lights a match, leans in, and half a dozen tiny flames spring to life under the logs. He turns the gas up, adjusts the logs with a poker, and when he stands up to grab the wine, a crackling fire is growing.
He fills my glass, then his.
I take a sip and set mine on the large end table.
“I need another few minutes in the kitchen. Do you want to watch some TV?”
I shake my head. “Nah. Now that I’m warm, I’m impressed with all this snow. And with the big fire.”
“This is a great place to get snowed in.”
I smile, until he turns back to the kitchen. Now I’m frowning. If I am Chelsea, then this is like a holiday special. Not necessarily how I got here—I could definitely deal without the pending unemployment—but otherwise, this is amazing. The location is incredible. There’s a roaring fire. There’s a snowstorm. There’s a hot guy who has already smashed my brains out, who I think is smart and funny and interesting and who I hope is about to smash my brains out again.
But it’s all a lie. A ruse. The bathroom and bedroom were spontaneous, but now I know what’s coming.
I text Frankie:
Okay so you know that thing you were joking about? IT kind of happened—in a BIG way. He also just made the best home-cooked dinner I’ve ever had and I’m sitting on his couch drinking wine and waiting for more sexy times and I haven’t said anything to him about the real reason I’m here HALP!!!
I send it, then tuck my phone into my back pocket, and just in the nick of time. Eli appears, and I notice his glass is almost empty. He sits down at the other end of the couch, just beside my feet.
“How’s the ankle?”
“It feels fine.”
“Good.” He abandons his perfect posture and slumps ever so slightly into the cushion. “So, Chelsea…”
“Eli…”
He swirls the wine in his glass and grins. “Know any good dino jokes?”
“What?” I laugh at the random question.
“Do you know any good jokes about dinosaurs?”
I shake my head. “Afraid not.”
“You wanna hear one?”
“Sure.”
“Mkay. Let me think…Ah!” He snaps his fingers. “Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom?”
Hmmmm... “Because they’re extinct?”
“Well, yes, but remember, this is a joke, so no.”
I giggle. “Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom?”
Eli grins. “Because the ‘p’ is silent.”
He’s trying very hard not to laugh, and I don’t get the joke. I pretend to laugh, but my fake laugh has always lacked conviction.
“The first letter in pterodactyl is a ‘p’,” Eli says.
“See, I had no idea.”
He shrugs. “It’s humor for the learned person.”
“I’m learned!” I protest. “Just not about dinosaurs.”
“That’s too bad,” Eli says. “All my jokes require at least a basic dino knowledge.”
“For real?”
He nods.
“Are those the only jokes you know?”
Eli sighs. “The only ones that I remember.”
“Ah, that’s a pity. Hey!”
“What?”
“I just thought one!”
“A dino joke?”
“The best dino joke in the world. I bet you know it.”
Eli nods encouragingly. “Let’s see. Or hear.”
“Okay, let me think.” I take a drink from my glass and try to think of the best way to tell it. “Okay, so which dinosaur pity the most fools?”
Eli thinks about it. I can tell he’s really thinking about it. I don’t want him to guess, though, so I blurt out, “Mr. T-Rex!”
Eli’s face splits into a grin, and he laughs. “Mr. T. I should have gotten that.”
I smirk. “No dino knowledge at all!”
“I don’t believe it.”
“Believe it.” I take another drink. “That one was straight outta first grade.”
Eli raises his glass. “To Chelsea, and her child-like mind.”
“To my— Hey!” I scowl. “I’ll have you know my mind is definitely adolescent.”
He raises his glass again. “To Chelsea and her adolescent mind.”
“I’ll drink to that.” And I do. A nice big gulp. “So Mr. Funny Guy, got anymore jokes so old they’re prehistoric?”
Eli clutches his hand to his chest. “Ho ho ho. Prehistoric.”
I cackle. “Get it? Get it?”
He pretends to wipe his eyes. “That’s gonna be tough to beat, but I’ll try. Hmmmm… What do you call it when two dinosaurs have a head-on collision?”
I feel like I should know this, but nothing’s coming to me. “What?”
“A tyrannosaurus wreck.”
His grin is contagious, and I laugh. “Such a dad joke.” I take a long drink from my glass before leaning over to put it on the coffee table, out of reach. I’ve got too much of a buzz. “So, I take it you like dinosaurs. Which one is your favorite?”
I’m thinking he’ll say T-Rex, and then he’ll ask me, and I’ll make a joke about the one with the big bone.
Okay, that’s not a great joke. It’s all very preliminary. I’ll be able to—
“Hmmmm…I don’t know,” he says. “I like them all.”
“You like every dinosaur equally?”
“Having never met any before, I’d say, ‘Yeah.’ Every single dinosaur ever. From the lowly Compsognathus to the mighty Brachiosaurus.”
The who now? “I don’t know what those are. Wait, I do know what a Brachiosaurus is, but not the other one.”
“The Compsognathus? He was maybe the size of a chicken.”
“Hmmmm. Okay. So, yes kind of a geek.”
Eli laughs. “Only about dinosaurs.”
“I have to be honest: I never got them.”
“What do you mean you never ‘got’ them?”
I shrug. “I just don’t get what the big deal is.”
Eli’s eyes are wide in disbelief. “Chelsea, the ‘big deal’ is that they were big. Huge. I mean, they were literal monsters and they were actually on Earth.”
“Yeah… I don’t know.”
“Even when you were a kid, and you stood under the giant skeletons—”
I snap. “See, that’s the thing, I never had that experience.”
“Never?”
I shake my head.
“You haven’t been to the Natural History Museum?”
I shrug. “I tend not to do tourist-y things. Even when I’m a tourist.”
“Like hike a mountain in a snow storm?”
“Exactly. That’s just not the sort of thing I would do.”
“Of course not.”
I shake my head “no” and reach for my glass.
Eli gives me a sly look. “Wanna see your first dino bone?”
That has to be the hokiest line I’ve ever heard, but Eli fucked me so good he can get away with it.
“I absolutely do.” I set my glass on the end table as Eli stands. He drains the rest of his glass, sets it on the coffee table and says, “I’ll be right back.”
He steps quickly down the stairs. I consider using my phone to check my teeth, but I already hear Eli on his way back up. He’s got some kind of box, which he proudly thrusts toward me. It’s a hanging display box, with a glass front, and a bone inside. It looks almost like a cartoon bone.
“That…this is a dinosaur bone?”
“It’s a Triceratops fibula.”
It is big. And maybe impressive, but not the bone I was hoping for.
“I’ve got to go to the restroom!” I blurt. Geeze. Childlike is right. “To, ah, freshen up,” I add in a voice that was probably too coy. Damn it.
His eyes look knowing as they follow me off the couch. Well good. They better be.
I close the door behind me and check my phone: seven texts from Frankie.
FOCUS GIRL! Obviously you have to tell me everything but first remember you are there for a story. Don’t kill me but I already told bossman that you had found your muse. I had to Tara, he was cleaning out your desk!
No she didn’t! And no he didn’t! Ugh! I’m so freaking mad! At fucking Sean for obviously having no faith in me and going through my desk (I have weird-looking OB tampons in there!), and at Frankie for telling Sean anything about what’s going on. I haven’t even decided if I’m going to write the story. Grrrr.
He stopped immediately. He asked when you would have it, and remember I was trying to save your job so I kind of told him that you would have him a draft tomorrow.
“You did what!” I practically yell at the phone. Oh, shit, that was loud. I cover my mouth, and— KNOCK KNOCK.
“Did you say something?” Eli asks through the door.
“Yeah. Get out of the bathroom!”
“Don’t get Miss Thang with me,” he snaps, and I burst out laughing.
“I was born Miss Thang. Now go.” My tone is playful but my heart is pounding.
“I’m gone.”
I don’t even bother reading the rest of Frankie’s texts.
SERIOUSLY FRANKIE WTF!!!
I was trying to ensure your future employment
I’m surprised she replied so fast. She must know she did bad.
I HAVEN’T EVEN TOLD HIM WHO I AM AND WHY I’M HERE. ALL WE’VE DONE IS EAT DINNER
I’m sorry okay. I panicked
WELL STOP PANICKING!
I will but stop yelling!
Sigh.
For real you shouldn’t have done that
I’m sorry sorry sorry. It was a terrible thing to do
It was
Me right now.
I take a deep breath. She was just trying to help. And I do need to remember why I’m here.
It’s fine
Me right now. Now give me the deets!
My fingers hover over the phone. Do I tell her? I’m dying to. But—
I’ll tell you a bit but you have to swear you won’t say anything to anybody
Pinky promise
A second later I get a pic of Frankie’s pinky finger, hooked and ready for my own. I send her a pick of mine, then give her the abridged, not entirely true version:
I was in the bathroom, and I slipped, and Eli rushed in when he heard my scream. Then he fucked my brains out.
OMFG! That is CRAZY! Was he as good as advertised???
Better
Ur my hero
LOL. I’m my own hero I think
Okay, I hate to dump a bucket of ice water all over this before we get to the good stuff but I want the deets relative to your continued employment at our fine media outlet. How did you find him?
Hmmm… I don’t really want to go into it right now.
Maybe later. I’ve been in the bathroom too long. Got to go before he gets suspicious! I’ll text again tonight if you’re up!
I tuck the phone into my pocket and flush the toilet. I’m surprised to find Eli waiting for me in front of the couch.
“Come here,” he says, his voice deep and demanding.
I can’t stop the smile that spreads over my lips.
Chapter 10
Eli
The moment Chelsea closes the door to the bathroom, I hop off the couch and rush Acer and my Triceratops fibula downstairs. Acer doesn’t even whine in protest; he must know how bad I need this.
I decide to stand in front of the couch and wait for Chelsea. I want to fuck her, she wants to fuck me, there’s no reason to pretend otherwise.
I’m nearly a hundred percent sure she wasn’t sent here to kill me, but on the off chance she was, I don’t give a fuck. I need to be inside her again. I need to feel her tight and wet around me.
I hear her voice from the bathroom. Maybe she wants to fuck in the shower. I knock twice. “Did you say something?”
“Yeah. Get out of the bathroom!”
“Don’t get Miss Thang with me.”
She laughs. “I was born Miss Thang. Now go.”
“I’m gone.” My tone is playful, but she better get her thang out here. She just took a shower, what the fuck does she need to ‘freshen up’?
I go back to the couch, face the door, and stroke my dick through my jeans. I feel so close to coming already, remembering how good that pussy is. I want to pay her to stay here and fuck me. Just for a few weeks. Just till I’ve sated my appetite. Or till she’s found a job in town. Then I can fuck her for free. But that’s
crazy, right? And she’d probably be offended if I offered? Not to mention the many other complications, but I’m having a hard time focusing on those right now cause I’m so horny.
I squeeze my head through my pants and what the fuck is taking so long? I’m practically about to bust a nut right here. I swear, if she doesn’t come out right now I’m gonna—
The door swings open, and Chelsea walks out. She sees me immediately, and her eyes are expectant.
“Come here.”
I watch her face. See her gaze move to my dick, obvious as it strains against my pants. She smiles.
When she gets in arms reach, I grab her hand and pull her to me. I squeeze her ass and push her pussy against my dick.
“Impatient?” I growl.
She grinds against me. “As much as I enjoyed seeing your dino bone, I’ve been waiting for this one.”
I grin. “Horny little thing, aren’t you?”
She squeezes me through my jeans. “You’re one to talk.”
“Turn around,” I command.
“Why?”
“Because I said so.”
She puts a finger on her bottom lip and pretends to consider it, so I grab her shoulders and spin her around. She juts her ass out and grinds it against me.
“I want that Eli bone,” she murmurs.
“You’ll get it—if you’re good.”
“Hmmmm… What do I have to do?”
“Call me Papa Bear.”
She laughs. “In that case I think I’ll be bad.”
I push her roughly toward the couch. She falls on it, then climbs up on her knees. She keeps her legs together and arches her back so I can see just how round that ass is. “Maybe you’re the one who needs to behave,” she says.
I answer with a good, firm smack on her right cheek. She gasps, and I smack the left. “You know why I’m spanking you?” I ask, and she plays along perfectly. “Cause I’m a bad girl?”
“Yeah you are,” I growl. I smack her again, and again, and again. “So bad.”