by Lulu Pratt
When the coffee comes, he doesn’t hesitate in drinking it as quickly as he can. I sip mine slowly, enjoying the taste. “So, what’s the matter?”
“Does something need to be the matter for me to take my fiancée out to coffee?” He smiles, smooth as ever. Tired or not, he’s still the same as he always is.
I shrug, “You tell me. You seem a bit tired.”
Cade glances at me. “Busy morning. Got a phone call from the trust fund lawyer.”
The hair on the back of my neck prickles at the news and I feel a little sick, a little giddy at the thought. I’m trying to keep a straight face, but I am sure that I am failing hopelessly. “What about?” I ask as casually as I can.
There’s tension around Cade’s eyes, but he’s remarkably casual and calm, “Just a meeting to get all my documents in order.” He smiles and it looks a little thin, “Meet you, my fiancée. The usual.”
He’s as casual and composed, but I can feel the tension crackling in the air between us. His meaning is absolutely clear as day. They don’t believe our relationship is real. They’re going to do everything they can to disprove it. I feel nausea settle in my stomach.
I want to ask him questions, to talk about a game plan. Instead, I reach across the table and take his hand, looking at him lovingly. “I’d love to come with you. When’s the meeting?” I smile.
For a moment, I am convinced that I have caught Cade off guard. Then he sighs and I can tell that everything’s going smoothly again, “Wednesday.” He looks at me with concern so believable that I swear it is genuine, “Will you be able to get off work?”
I consider this in earnest for a moment, before I nod, “Should be okay. What time?”
“I’ll send you the details. The morning, I expect.” he smiles. “We should grab breakfast before the meeting.”
“Sounds great.” I have a sneaky suspicion that I will not be up for eating anything at all on the day of the meeting, but I will do whatever I need to in order to keep up the pretense.
I grin in an attempt to ease the tension that is still very much in the air, “Maybe I will take you up on the offer to go shopping.”
Cade shrugs, “You look gorgeous no matter what you wear.”
I’m annoyed at myself for how easily he is able to take me off guard. Sweet words, flowers, coffee dates. He surprises me at every turn. I know he just has to keep up pretenses, but it is easy to get caught up in it all.
“Flattery, Mr. Harlow.” I rummage in my purse.
This time, I’m able to call the waitress first. However, before I can pay, he has slipped a card into the bill and sent it back with a tip. I shoot him a dark look, “I can pay for coffee.”
“I know… but I asked you out.” He raises an eyebrow, “I do have manners, you know.”
Suddenly, I feel pushed aside, acutely aware of how fake this all is. It’s not a relationship – it’s a business transaction, and no amount of searing kisses will fix that.
“No, I don’t always notice that.” I mutter as I rise to my feet. I turn to the door, making my way to the exit. Cade catches up with me as I step outside. He catches my arm and turns me around to face him.
There’s anger in his eyes and something sizzles within me. His grip on my arm is gentle, though, and he lets go quickly despite the embers in his eyes, “Look, Ellen. I’m trying here.”
I feel tears prickle at my vision and I am horrified to realize that I want to cry. I glare back at him instead, “Trying? Yeah, that’s great.” I feel hurt blossom in my chest. It happens so suddenly that I feel winded, caught off guard.
Cade frowns and I can see something lingering behind the anger. It looks almost like hurt, but it can’t be. Not Cade. He sighs, “Yes, trying. I know this isn’t the perfect circumstance, but I didn’t think I was that impossible to be around.”
His tone is tight and I don’t know how to respond. I’m not sure why I’m reacting like this at all. He’s done everything right – been polite, paid for it all, brought flowers and rings and dressed up nicely. He’s complimented me, he’s kissed me in a way that makes me melt.
He’s done it all right.
But none of it is real. The thought strikes me with a thud in my chest. None of it is real, and he can try all he likes – all it does is make it more painful. I’m in a relationship where all my wildest dreams are coming true. He could be the man of my dreams… but he doesn’t mean a single bit of it, and that hurts more than I want to admit to him. To myself.
Instead, I swallow my tears and smile, “You’re great to be around.” My words sound shallow, even to my own ears, “Life’s a bit hectic. Sorry for taking it out on you.”
He stares at me for a long moment and I have a suspicion that he knows I’m lying. His face smooths quickly and I’m left doubting myself. Did I ever see the anger and the hurt in his eyes? Or did I imagine the whole thing?
“Don’t worry about it. I know you’re stressed right now.” He smiles and it’s like nothing ever happened between us. He moves in and touches my cheek, “Don’t worry about it. Is there anything I can do to help?”
I feel moved to tears again, and I just smile, “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, all right?”
It’s in his best interest not to argue with me. It’s in his best interest to act like he cares. It doesn’t mean anything and it doesn’t have to. I agreed to this, I signed up for this and I am benefiting from it too. The very least I can do is honor my commitment instead of blowing up at him for honoring his.
Cade nods, “Well, let me know if you change your mind. I’ll walk you back to work.”
I don’t have the energy to argue. We walk back in relative silence, broken only by our footfalls and the hum of traffic, the sound of voices as we pass more shops and cafes. It’s a chilly day, but the sky is clear. I relish in the sight of it, relish in the way the wind seems to blow away the cobwebs in my soul. It’s a refreshing feeling.
By the time we get back to the salon, I’m feeling a lot better. Emboldened, I lean in and give him a quick hug, “I hope work goes well.” I say, and I realize that I mean it. I want work to go well for him.
I want him to succeed, and I kind of wish I didn’t.
CHAPTER SEVEN
ELLEN CASSIDY
Wednesday rolls around and I wake with nerves in my stomach. I can feel the butterflies fluttering around and making me feel sick. I push myself out of bed and stare at the alarm clock. In a few hours, I will be in a meeting, technically lying to a lawyer about a fake relationship.
I drop back down onto my pillow. For a wild moment, I contemplate not going. I contemplate doing something insane, like calling in sick or something. I wonder if I should call off this lie. But I can’t, I have too many people depending on me. My mum, my brother, Cade.
I sigh and reluctantly drag myself out of bed.
I can’t call in sick to life, although sometimes I wish that I could. I wish that with all my heart. I put on the coffee machine before making my way to the bathroom. I need a shower – a long one. I also need to look my very best for this meeting, whether I am invested in it or not.
I need to look like I really care about this. In a way, I really do care. So I start by putting a mask on my face. I grab a shower scrub and a razor and get to work. Once I have scrubbed and shaved every inch, I feel a lot more polished than I have in quite a long time.
I wet my hair, next lathering it up with a sweet smelling shampoo. A condition follows and I try to let the product sit in my hair for as long as possible. When I finally rinse it out of my hair, and step out of the shower, I feel more put together than I have in months.
I rinse off my face mask with cold water in the sink, the blast of ice helping me wake up a little more. I wash my skin and put on lotion.
My face is first, followed by a moisturizer all over my body. It leaves my skin feeling fresh and soft and it adds a glow to it that I haven’t seen recently. It’s usually masked by a haze of exhaustion and lack of time.
&n
bsp; Now, my skin is glowing and I have to admit that I love it. It’s been far too long since I’ve taken time to do this for myself. I run some product through my hair and twist it into a soft towel. Once I am all wrapped up in my robe, I move to the bedroom and bring out the hair dryer.
This part I am good at. I style my hair simply, blasting it with the dryer until it’s mostly dry. A gentle comb through and a few moments with the curling iron, and my hair is looking good. I spray it with a bit of product to keep it in place and check that it looks polished.
Next, I make my way over to my wardrobe where my latest outfit sits. It’s very rare I splurge on new clothes, but I did buy one outfit with the credit card from Cade – a neat new one for the meeting today. It’s professional and I am confident in my choice. I slip into it – a simple black dress that hugs my curves and stops just above my knee. It shows some skin, but not enough to look trashy.
I smile and put on a simple necklace. The ring that Cade got me is next. I have not put it on since the night of the engagement, and I admire the sparkle. I hadn’t worn it as I didn’t want to expose it to the chemicals at the salon or get clients’ hair caught in the setting. Tasteful earrings, stockings and low heels complete the look. I apply my makeup, taking care to keep it subtle, before grabbing my bag.
I flick off my coffee machine with a sigh of disappointment – I didn’t get a moment to drink it – before I head out of my apartment, locking the door behind me.
The pain from before has eased to a low ache in my chest, but I am still worried about my meeting with Cade. I haven’t seen him or spoken to him since our last coffee break, except for him to relay the details of the appointment. I feel nervous, despite myself.
We’re meeting at a cute little restaurant about a block away from the meeting. I know the shop, so I catch a bus into the heart of the city. I consider what Cade has told me about today. We’re meeting a lawyer. He’ll be handling the trust fund settlement.
Cade has a suspicion that the lawyer has just been hired to dig up the dirt on us. We can’t let that happen, obviously. My stomach twists at the thought and I wonder what the heck I have gotten myself into.
I arrive at the restaurant early and find a seat in the corner, at the far end. I order myself a coffee. After a moment of debating with myself, I order Cade a coffee too. They arrive at the table before he does and I sip mine slowly, letting the caffeine seep into my system slowly.
Cade arrives soon after and I offer him a small smile. He sits and glances at his coffee. “Thanks.” He smiles, smooth as ever, but there’s an edge to his voice and I wonder if it’s got something to do with me. It’s probably just about the meeting.
I nod, “It’s going to be okay.”
We sit in silence for a moment as he sets down his briefcase and takes a long drink of his coffee. Double espresso. It seems like I guessed right.
“You ready?” he asks, glancing my way.
“Sure.” I shrug, sounding far more confident than I feel.
He nods and looks me over, “You look lovely.”
His compliment sends little shivers down my spine, though I shrug it off. I’m also forced to consider the fact that he’s looking rather handsome himself. Freshly shaven, neat hair and a crisp suit, pleats pressed so perfectly they look like they could slice through stone.
“Not too bad yourself.”
He smirks and I swear it could melt even the hardest of hearts. Let’s hope the charm works with this lawyer guy.
“You hungry?” he asks, glancing at his watch. “We have a bit of time.”
“I suppose.” I smile, just to be polite. In all honesty, my stomach is in knots.
He calls over the waitress and she takes our orders. He has a medium-sized breakfast, and I go with a simple fruit and yogurt dish. I figure that will be the easiest on my stomach.
We eat in silence, before Cade begins, “I can’t believe it’s already been three years since we first met.” He glances up with a smile, “Three years since we met and it’s taken me so long to propose.” He chuckles.
It takes me a moment to catch on and I blush, offering him a smile, “I know. You really took your time there, didn’t you?” I’m smiling, shrugging as I look into his eyes.
He meets my gaze and he looks serious, “I just couldn’t get up the courage to tell you before.” He leans forward and for a moment, nothing else exists in the room, in this moment, but me and him. The world slows as he continues.
“I have a bit of a reputation as a playboy… I thought you’d reject me.” He shrugs, a sheepish look on his face, “Good thing you didn’t.”
I feel hope stir in my chest, a faint hope that maybe all this isn’t pretend. Maybe there’s more to him, more to us, than I had originally thought. Maybe I had jumped to conclusions. For a brief second, my heart is soaring.
Then Cade breaks into an easy grin, “So, how was that?”
I blink, unsure what he means. There’s silence for a moment before it hits me. He was just faking it. Just another lie. Just another way to build the image of a perfect relationship. A good excuse for why we hadn’t gotten into a relationship much sooner.
He’s still smiling, “I thought it was pretty good.”
I don’t know what to say. Anger pulses through me, hurt following soon after. It is followed quickly by the shuddering realization that this is all it will ever be to him and I am better off keeping this strictly business.
I throw any hope of something more into the trash, and move on.
If the smile I give him looks forced, it’s because that’s exactly what it is. Forced. “That’s great. Convincing story.”
Any sincerity has vanished from his eyes and I am left wondering what the hell just happened. I wonder how he can change so quickly, how he can lie so convincingly. I swallow the lump in my throat and straighten my dress. He’s a jerk and I need to remember that.
A complete jerk and this is nothing but business, end of story.
“Good. I hoped it would be.” He sips his coffee.
I finish mine, before rising to my feet.
“Where are you off to?” He asks with a confused look.
“To get the bill.” I know I sound a little cold, but I’m beyond caring. I’ll play my part to a tee, but that’s all he’s getting from me. I go to the counter before he can argue, handing over my card and clearing the bill before I return, clutching the receipt like a trophy.
“What was that all about?” There’s tension in his voice, the easy-going exterior melting away into nothing before my very eyes.
I shrug and sit down, “I was getting the bill.”
“I know that. I was going to pay.” His eyes are boring into me and I turn and stare straight back at him.
I smile, and I find my own words flowing smooth as honey, “I just wanted to spoil you before your big meeting, baby. I know how important it is to you.” I lean across the table and touch his arm with a soft smile.
Our eyes meet and there’s a moment of fire between us. Then he glances away. He knows he’s lost this round. An odd thrill rises inside of me and I pull my hand back.
“Thanks.” His words are forced, but he’s smiling as if nothing happened. He’s convincing. That’s good.
“You’re really thoughtful.” He finishes his drink and stands, “We’d better get going. Better to be early than late, huh?”
I nod in agreement, holding my purse as we make our way to the door, “Thank you for inviting me to this.” I practically simper, “I really want to be a part of this.” I smile, “I mean, now that we’re engaged. It would just feel wrong to leave you all alone.”
He adjusts his tie and I can tell I am making him uncomfortable. I’m playing my part too well and I feel triumph flush through me. He can fake it all he likes, but I can do it too, perhaps better. I know what he likes, I know his life story. I’m his stylist – I’ve practically seen inside his soul. It’s time to put that to the test.
He might know how to treat some r
andom lady, but I know what makes Cade Harlow tick. I slip my hand into his and glance up at the building that we’re approaching.
It’s massive and somehow it seems terribly soulless. “Cheerful place, isn’t it?”
“Matches the man inside it.” I feel him twitch, hostility pouring off him like waves.
“You know him?”
“No. One phone conversation. One email.” He frowns, “That was enough.”
I nod, and squeeze his hand, “Well, we’d better be nice. After all, he’s doing a lot of work for us, isn’t he?” I laugh and shake my head, “Oh, I mean, for you. Sorry.”
An innocent slip, a loving little mistake and a squeeze of his hands. He looks away from me and I can feel the warmth radiating off his body.
“Of course I’ll be nice.” He does a remarkable job of keeping steady and I have to admit that he’s not the only one feeling tense, feeling nervous. This is a big day and I hope that I am ready to take it head on.
We make our way into the building. Cade checks a piece of paper – I assume he is confirming the floor and the number. We step into the elevator and I glance at myself in the mirror. I still look put together and professional. A reliable fiancée.
Good. That’s what I am going for. I let my attention wonder as the lift rushes upwards. Cade seems unsettled, tapping his fingers lightly. His expression is smooth but I have only ever seen him tap his fingers when he’s feeling stressed. I’m not sure he even realizes he is doing it.
The building itself feels unusually cold, like it is too big to heat properly. It truly does have an odd, soulless feeling to it – a sort of corporate quality, but without any attempts at being friendly or inclusive. I swallow. I need to play it cool. I need to keep it together.
I know Cade. I just need to focus on the truth and build it into the lie. Everything will be just fine. Cade doesn’t say a word until we reach our floor, stepping out of the lift. I let Cade go first, and breathe a deep sigh. I try to steady my nerves. I suddenly wonder if this would feel any different if we were in love, if we were together. Would I feel less worried or even more so about this meeting?