by Lulu Pratt
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“I mean, you’re not playing a game here or nothing. Playing at being poor for the summer, then go back to your nice, rich life afterwards.”
“This isn’t a game to me. This is real. Lying here with you, that’s definitely not slumming it by any definition of the world.”
“Most people would consider living in a tiny trailer and traveling with the carnival to be the definition of slumming it.”
“That’s because people are stupid. You just have to look at the ones forking out for games they can’t win on the midway to know that.”
“You know I’ll never be able to buy all that fancy stuff your parents have and you’re used to.” It kills me to think I could never give her everything she wants.
“If I’ve learned anything this summer, it’s that material stuff doesn’t matter. It was all just a way to mask an empty life. It wasn’t real the way you are.”
I ignore her comment. I have to say what I need to say before I chicken out again.
Clearing my throat, I say, “Since I met you, these thoughts and feelings keep percolating around in me, and I didn’t know what they were at first. That happens when you’ve had my life. But now I think I know what it is.” I’m halting and rambling, but the warmth of her eyes gives me the courage to carry on. “Goldie, I ain’t never said this to anyone before, but I think I love you. I’m sure of it, I love you.”
A tear trickles from her eye and across the bridge of her nose. She doesn’t say anything. Please don’t reject me. Maybe I should’ve kept my big mouth shut. My heart stops, waiting.
After an eternity, she says, “Since I met you, I realize how unhappy I was before. My life was suffocating.” Her voice breaks, and tears stream steadily from her eyes and onto the sheet. “You’ve given me so much, and you’ve made me feel loved — loved for who I am and not what I’m supposed to me. I could never express how grateful and lucky I am for your love. And I love you too, Steel. I love you for who you are, Kayden.”
She said my real name. It felt good. Emily’s words hit me and squeeze around my ribs, forcing my heart to beat again. I’d even say it’s beating different now than it did before. Thumping like each beat is full instead of it rattling around empty.
The idea had crossed my mind before, but now I want it. I need it.
“You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met,” I start, my words unsure, “I can’t imagine going another day of my whole life without seeing you.”
She swallows and starts, “Me…”
I interrupt her and carry on, “We have this thing at the carnival, a tradition. And you know us carnies, it’s what matters. Our tradition. It means more than those government rules. I’m a carny, and tradition matters a lot to me.”
“What are you saying?”
I take a deep breath to try to stop my rambling. “What I’m saying is, I want to marry you. Here in the carnival. In our tradition.”
“Are you serious?” she says, sitting up, turning her head to keep our eye contact.
“Yes. Of course.”
“What does your tradition mean?”
“It means you’d be my wife. Mine forever. Real as any wedding there is. So how about it? Emily, will you marry me?” I’ve never called her by her real name before, I hadn’t intended to, it just came out.
“Yes,” she pauses, “on one condition.”
My heart sinks into my gut.
“What’s that?”
“I can’t marry someone when I don’t know where he’s from.”
“Is that the only condition? That’s easy. I’m from Niagara Falls. You happy now? Because I don’t want you thinking I’m keeping secrets from you. You know me better than anyone in the world, who I really am, stuff that matters, not trivial things like where I’m from originally.” I wish she’d stop bringing up my past.
“Thank you,” she says, and flings her arms around me.
We hold each other tight, and I know she’s all I need. And I’m sure I’m all she needs.
“We have to get Papa Smurf’s blessing,” I say.
“Why?” she mutters, her face pressed against me.
“It’s the tradition. He gives his blessing, and performs the ceremony on the Ferris wheel. Three times around, and you’re mine forever.”
“That sounds fun,” she says.
“Promise me this isn’t a game to you. This is as real to me as any church wedding.”
“I promise. This is no game. I want to be in your arms, just like I am now, when I’m a little old lady.”
A lump the size of a basketball forms in my throat, and I squeeze her tighter.
Orgasmatron (Emily)
It’s been two weeks since Steel proposed. And now we’re sitting in the car at the very top of the Ferris wheel, the very same car I was sitting in with Courtney and Maddie when he jumped into the car.
Cess decorated the car with pink and white streamers, twisting them up the bar in the middle and draping them around the umbrella roof.
She came with me to Walmart, and we found the pretty white dress I’m wearing now. It comes almost to my knees and has a full skirt and halter top. We even found a plastic tiara, and I’m wearing it now feeling like the princess my father always said I was.
I’m clutching a bunch of flowers that are tied together with a string. They’re colorful roses mixed with baby’s breath. Part of me didn’t want to spend the extra money to get roses, but they’re my favorite flower, and between my perfume and my tattoo, I didn’t want a different type of flower.
Steel is sitting beside me, in his old black jeans and a black dress shirt he bought just for today. He must be hot as hell, but he looks hot as hell so I can’t complain.
Papa Smurf is on the other seat, holding the rings in his fist and a piece of paper in the other.
“I’m going to say it again because I need to make sure you both realize how serious what you’re doing is. You don’t have to get married in a church, this is as real and as serious. Your vows are as real as saying them anywhere, because you’re saying them to each other, and you have to trust and be true to each other. Do you understand that?” Papa Smurf says.
“Yes,” Steel and I say.
Steel takes my hands, and we shift our attention from Papa Smurf to each other.
“Right then, Steel, do you want Goldie as your wife?” Papa Smurf asks.
“Absolutely,” Steel says.
“And Goldie, what about you? Do you want Steel as your husband?”
“I do,” I say.
“In that case, we’re going to start the wheel. The ups and downs of this wheel represent the ups and downs you’ll face in your marriage. We’re going three times around, and either of you can have me stop the ride at any time. If neither of you stop the ride, and we go three times around, then you’ll be husband and wife.”
The idea of stopping the ride isn’t a consideration for me, and I’m positive it isn’t for Steel either.
The wheel starts up, and Steel pulls me close.
Into my ear so only I can hear, he says, “I’m going to give you one hell of a life, Goldie. I’ve known you’re all I need since the first night we met. I’m all yours. And you can hold me to that.”
My chin quivers, and I try not to cry. This wedding is serious to me. I can’t imagine my life anymore without Steel in it. This isn’t exactly how I imagined getting married, but it feels right. No, it feels better than right. It feels perfect.
I sink deeper into Steel’s arms as the wheels take us up and down.
“That’s twice around, you sure you don’t want to stop this thing?” Steel asks with a smile.
“No chance,” I say, my voice weak from choking back tears.
“Because once we’re married that’s it. We’re married forever.”
“What about you, are you going to stop it?”
“Are you kidding me? If the power blew right now, I’d make those fuckers down there turn it with the
ir hands.”
I’d laugh, but there’s no trace of joking in his voice.
“I love you,” I say.
“And I love you,” he says, and we kiss.
“That’s it, three times around is done, you two are married,” Papa Smurf announces, taking us out of our own little world.
The wheel stops with our car at the bottom. Steel opens the door and takes my hand to lead me out.
All the carnies here have gathered, waiting at the wheel, and they cheer and clap us as we walk down the ramp. Steel’s arm is around me, pulling me along. My cheeks hurt from smiling so hard.
“You dog,” Razor yells.
“I’m the luckiest man alive,” Steel hollers back at him.
“Where are we going now?” I ask.
“On our honeymoon.”
I laugh. “And where do carnies go on their honeymoon?” I’d wonder if we’d go offsite to a motel for a few days, but I know better than that now.
“The Gravitron, baby,” he says, the seriousness he’s had all day now gone from his voice.
“Shut up! In there? I should’ve known.”
Steel laughs, “I’m going to sweep you off your feet.”
“Ha, four G’s of force and the ride’s the one that’s going to sweep me off my feet.”
“Not the way I’m going to.”
Arm in arm, we walk into The Gravitron. From his seat at the center console, Steel pushes the button that closes the door.
It’s dark, and he turns on the ride’s flashing lights and music, transforming the space into our own magical dance club.
“Scratch this,” he says, turning off the song.
He messes around with the controls and “Wild Horses” starts blasting through the speakers.
The ride isn’t moving yet, he hasn’t turned it on. Instead, he pulls me onto his lap.
Steel’s hand finds my knee, and moves up the outside of my thigh, moving the edge of my dress up with it. His hand comes to a rest on my upper thigh. He wraps his other arm around me, and rests his hand on my waist.
“You look beautiful in your wedding dress,” he says.
“Thanks,” I say, my cheeks flushed.
I don’t know why I’m blushing, since we’ve been together so long. Maybe because this is the first time we’ve been alone together since getting married. Everything feels new, fresh.
“I never thought I’d ever have a wife. I never thought I’d ever want a wife.”
“Well I’m proud to be your wife, it’s an honor.”
His lips brush against mine, and I part my mouth wanting more. Our mouths lock in a slow kiss that fills my chest with tingling.
Steel breaks the kiss and says, “You hear that?”
“What”
“The song, wild horses couldn’t drag me away from you. That’s how I feel about you.”
Not sure whether or not to laugh, I bite my lip. But I can’t hide my smile. Everything he’s ever done has filled me up, and now I feel so full, I can’t believe there could ever be room for more.
I slide my fingers between the buttons of his shirt, trying to feel his hard chest muscles. He lets out a small grunt, and cups the back of my head, bringing my lips to his.
Our mouths crush against each other in a raw kiss that numbs my lips. Steel’s hand travels higher up my thigh and he rubs his fingers over the outside of my panties.
They’re already damp, wet for the excitement of knowing that I belong to him. I widen my legs for him as I work to undo the buttons of his shirt.
As our kiss continues, his dick grows hard and digs against my thigh. I’ve gotten his shirt all the way open now, and press my body up against his chiseled body.
He yanks he head back and tugging at my dress says, “Get this off.”
I hop off his lap, and pull the dress over my head. Steel makes a growl of approval, and I make a show of removing my bra.
Kicking off my shoes, I slide my panties down my legs, watching him watch me as I do. His eyes are fixed on my breasts, and the knowledge makes my nipples harden.
Standing, I shimmy my shoulders to shake my breasts for him.
Steel stands, and brushes his fingertips all over my body, coating my skin in goose bumps.
Leaning, his takes a nipple into his mouth and sucks hard. A twinge shoots from my nipple to my walls, and I swallow in anticipation.
I moan in protest as he steps back from me, removing his open shirt and stripping off his jeans and boxers. His erect cock stands in front of him, his pierced dragon ready for me.
He looks up, and before I can react, he sweeps me off my feet and carries me around the railing. We go several spots along before he puts me down, my back against one of the backrests.
Kissing down my body, he kneels in front of me and pushes my legs wider. Steel starts kissing and licking the insides of my thighs, gripping my ass with his hands. I press my head into the padded backrest and let the sensation of his touch take over.
His mouth reaches my mound and he flickers his tongue through my folds. The tip of his tongue circles in on my clit, making me gasp. My walls flood with anticipation.
Steel continues with his tongue, and my entire body is now tense with want. Want for my husband.
I moan and squirm from the intensity. He moves his hand, bringing his fingers to my entrance. Without pause, he pushes two thick fingers into me and presses against my most sensitive spot.
I scream in delight, but it gets lost in the pounding music. Steel puts his other hand on my belly to hold me in place. Even with his hand, my head and shoulders slump forward.
I’m on the edge, and tense with the need for release.
Steel stands and presses his body against mine, which straightens me up against the backrest. Steel kisses my neck, just like he did on that first night, and the ache for him between my legs becomes unbearable.
“Please,” I say, breathless.
Steel puts his lips to my ear, and in a low voice says, “Anything for you, Goldie. Wait here.”
He springs away, and my legs can barely hold my weight. He sprints to the booth in the center of the ride and leans over the control panel.
The ride starts, and Steel sprints back to my side.
“I’ve been dying to do this to you,” he says. “You’re going to be stuck against the wall and unable to move while I do whatever I want to you.”
Steel won’t be stuck from the g-force, I’ve seen him dance and run around on the walls in here. He’s strong enough to do whatever he wants in here, and the idea of every single one of his muscles being flexed sends a rush of heat that pools between my legs.
We kiss, but it becomes too difficult for me to do. The speed of the ride has increased enough that the force pushes me against the backrest. The g-force has completely immobilized me against the backrest.
Kicking my feet apart, he spreads my legs wide. My feet aren’t touching the ground anymore.
His body is heavy against mine, pressing against me though he’s using his arms to keep from crushing me.
The tip of his cock is at my entrance, and as he pushes it into me, the entire backrest slides up, taking both of us off the ground. My slick walls clamp around and somehow he’s able to thrust his hips into me.
I’m disoriented, the flashing lights, loud music and four Gs pressing against my body. The side of Steel’s head presses against mine. I’m dazzled, which clears everything from my mind.
It seems like my entire body is out of my control.
The only thing I’m aware of is the intensity radiating out from between my legs. All of my muscles tense and my heart beats faster and faster. Steel continues thrusting into me, and after a moment I cry out in bliss as a tidal wave rips through me.
A moment later, Steel grunts loudly and his dick throbs against my walls.
The ride slows and the backrest slides down the wall. It comes to a stop, and both our chests heave. Steel’s skin is slick with sweat, and my own hair is damp with it.
&nbs
p; “Welcome to married life, Goldie,” he says and kisses my cheek.
Rainbow in the Dark (Steel)
It’s September, and it’s still hot as hell in Mississippi. I swear to God, I’m finding myself a carnival in Alaska next year.
Emily’s doing real well at the basket toss, getting guys to part with their money hand over fist. Next year, I’m sure Papa Smurf is going to give her her own booth. Then she’d be making some serious money and we’ll be able to pay for all the air conditioning we want.
It’s early morning, and I’m sitting on a lawn chair in front of our trailer drinking a coffee, enjoying the cool breeze before it turns into a furnace blast again. With Emily here, we almost never party late, we’d rather be alone in our trailer. Even when we’re not fucking.
Getting to sleep at a decent hour means we’re always up at a normal time. Usually eight, but sometimes earlier. I’ve realized how much I enjoy being up before everyone else, when the camp is nice and quiet.
I take a sip of my coffee, breathing the aroma through my nose as I drink. This is good. Life is good.
It’s Wednesday, we get the big rides put up today, and finish them off tomorrow and open the carnival Friday night.
Emily comes walking between the trailers, returning from the communal washrooms. She’s not watching where she’s going and narrowly misses the corner of a picnic table.
As she gets closer, the look on her face becomes clear. Her eyes are wide, but vacant, and her jaw is tight. Her fists are balled, and something is in one of them. I set my coffee down, jump up and go to her side.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
She looks at me, her eyes boring into my face, and says, “I’m pregnant.”
Her words knock the wind out of me, and I feel like I’ve taken a cannonball to the gut. I can’t even find the way to say anything, and I stand there, feeling numb.
Emily carries on walking past me and straight into our trailer. My feet are frozen to the ground, and I can’t move. I stand here trying to digest what just happened.
How did this happen, I thought she was on the pill?
I take a deep breath and drag myself back to my lawn chair. I’m not proud, I feel like an asshole sitting here when I should be in there, holding her and telling her everything’s going to be okay.