by Stella Rhys
JULIAN: Please make yourself at home. Might be difficult since the entire home is run by automated controls, but I left you some instructions downstairs. Enjoy your day. I’ll see you tonight.
I was already vaguely amused as my bare feet wandered slowly downstairs, but I broke into a full huge grin when I found Post-It notes stuck to each fancy control system, from the automated blinds to the lighting to the steel and glass appliances in the beautifully sleek kitchen. As it turned out, I really needed those instructions. The first hour of my day was dedicated to figuring every system out.
But once I did, the day was a breeze. It felt like more of a vacation than Biarritz did. I wound up spending the whole afternoon and evening just cooking, reading, and wandering the building’s luxury amenities before returning to the penthouse around seven – right in time to meet Julian.
I was in one of his shirts, the sleeves folded up and the buttons half done. I had my hair piled loosely at the top of my head, and just black panties underneath. He texted me when he was around the corner, so I stood at the elevator, waiting to greet him and put that big, crinkly-eyed smile on his face.
But I was surprised when the door opened.
Standing there was Julian, stunning as ever in the usual crisp white shirt and dark grey suit, his silk tie still knotted perfectly straight. I wanted to grin at how gorgeous he was, but I instantly felt the dark cloud hanging over him.
“Hey.” I cocked my head, my voice light and quizzical as his blue eyes found me. Finally, a smile touched the corners of his lips. Not the big one I was expecting, but still damned gorgeous. “Work okay?” I asked gently, frowning as he set his briefcase on the ground and came straight toward me to cup my face in his hands.
I felt a heaviness in him as he kissed me, and an urgency that had me quickly struggling to catch my breath. His tongue was rough on mine as his hands dropped down to my chest. Despite my surprise, I made no noise as Julian squeezed his fists over my shirt and ripped it open, stepping over the scattering buttons and letting the cotton fall in a heap to the floor.
The sheer heat of his intensity made me dizzy.
I had yet to catch up to what was happening. I was only vaguely aware of his strong arms moving me over to the couch and laying me down. The weight of his body on top of me prompted my soft moan against his lips. They were still locked on mine as he reached between our bodies to jerk at his belt and free his cock, letting its weight fall onto my stomach and drag heavily over me as our tongues continued exploring each other, as if it was our very first taste.
“Julian,” I whispered questioningly, but he kissed my confusion away.
His mouth never left mine, even as he reached down to tear my panties down my legs. My arms hung around his strong neck as he guided himself between my legs, parting my folds with the tip of his cock and running it up and down the length of my wet pussy, over and over and over till I was dripping wet. The deepest grunts escaped from his chest as he felt my sex pulsing around his tip, already begging for him.
“Sara,” he murmured, the sound of his voice like air to me. His hand firmly cupped the back of my neck as he sucked on my bottom lip, letting it rake hard between his teeth.
A hoarse, ragged cry escaped my lips when he finally sank into me, stretching me and filling me with the most delectable pain. Gasping sharply, I swallowed the hot air he breathed into me as our kiss grew deeper, angrier. Almost forceful.
My tongue fought back as I locked my legs around him.
My abdomen clenched. Our bodies were tight, compact as we used just a small corner of the huge couch to rock into each other. Our skin was already sticky, slippery with sweat, and our mouths were swollen, hot and frantic as the same pleasure built at once inside us.
“Julian,” I moaned. “Oh my God. Don’t stop.”
“I won’t, baby,” he murmured. “There’s nothing I want more than you.” Hoarse frustration tinged his voice as his breath quickened. “I think about you every night,” he deepened his push inside me, “every morning when I wake up. I don’t know what you’ve done to me,” he whispered. “What did you do to me?” He hardened inside me as he whispered his demand on repeat.
I couldn’t answer that, but I had something else at the tip of my tongue. I didn’t know what was happening, but I suddenly felt like I had to say it.
“I love you,” I whispered to Julian, holding his face, looking into his eyes as I said it. They were a wild, ferocious blue, but the moment those three words escaped my tongue they softened. His grip on the back of my neck tightened, and his body shuddered in such a way that I felt its violent tremor inside me.
“Julian…”
He kept his blue eyes pinned tight on me as he undoubtedly felt my pussy pulsing, clenching tight around him. Our chests were slick against each other now, our limbs more tangled than ever. My pleasure was seconds from his peak when I’d convinced myself he wasn’t going to say it back. But then I felt his nails dig into my skin.
“I love you, Sara,” he growled barely a second before he erupted a hard jerk inside me.
I gasped for breath – or maybe from shock. I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that I was in pure ecstasy as I felt Julian’s weight still slamming inside me as his heat flooded my pussy. His teeth were gnashed, his muscles quivering as he exhausted the last of his energy to keep fucking me, giving a wild, guttural grunt for every short, powerful thrust between my legs.
“Oh God, Julian!”
When I came, he grabbed my ass and yanked me to the very base of his cock, giving his every inch the full pleasure of my shaking climax. I was limp in his arms as he claimed every shiver and quake in my body, holding me tight against him and murmuring in my ear.
He said it back, I reminded myself, my bliss sending me off on a post-orgasmic cloud.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever come down from this one.
JULIAN
As usual, she fell asleep before me.
Her lips were lightly parted as she lay on her side in my bed, looking so fucking perfect and peaceful I felt like I could watch her forever. I kept my eyes on her even as I peeled my shirt over my head and pushed my sweats off my hips.
I checked my phone before I climbed into bed with her.
I had Colin’s text from hours ago waiting for me, but I’d wanted to wait till she fell asleep to open it. I wanted to enjoy the dinner she cooked for me, and the way the wisps of hair fell from her high ponytail as she danced around the kitchen to the old jazz playing on my speakers.
A part of me still held out hope despite the fact that I knew what kind of news Colin was going to report back to me.
I told him to just keep it short and sweet – that I knew what the outcome of my last-minute changeup in Biarritz would result in. I just wanted to give a last-ditch effort, just in case it might work.
My lip curled as I finally opened Colin’s texts.
COLIN: Sorry. No dice.
COLIN: Carter vetoed.
Thought so.
After what I’d done our last night in Biarritz, I knew well this was the direction we were heading in. In fact, I’d prepared myself for it all day, and I’d come up with a fallback plan once everything went to shit.
But after coming home to Sara, I let myself hold onto some idiotic glimmer of hope.
It was hard not to with her.
I never imagined preferring anything over the life I made for myself when I moved back to New York. I enjoyed my days at the tower, my nights at the stadium, and Sundays with my family. In between, I fit in drinks with my friends, and some women here and there. That worked fine for me for a very long time. In fact, after everything that happened in Stockholm and Biarritz, I was convinced that this was as good as it got
But then Sara came along, and I realized my life could in fact get better. Worlds better.
Unfortunately, there was no way to make it work.
37
SARA
I wasn’t sure if Julian expected me at work the next morning, and
even less sure when I awoke a tad before seven to find that he was gone. I frowned as I sat up in bed, my eyes floating about the room as I tried to remember him leaving. I didn’t, and I didn’t recall feeling him touch me in any way before he went.
Thankfully, when I checked my texts, I found one from him.
JULIAN: Good morning. I’ll be needing you to come in to work this morning. If you could meet me in my office by 9, that would be great.
I rubbed my eyes, smirking at the stiff professionalism of his message.
ME: Yes sir. Will do. ;)
There was no response from Julian by the time I’d finished getting dressed, and in all fairness, I hadn’t asked a question.
But I couldn’t help feeling strangely on edge.
I didn’t want to admit it to myself as I got dressed and ready for work, but by the time I’d squeezed myself on the packed rush hour train, I had to admit that I was paranoid he’d woken up and regretted it.
Those three words.
They hadn’t been easy to say either, but I’d been consumed by the moment – by the palpable emotion stirring in the air between us. It felt good to get off my chest. It felt even better when Julian looked me in the eye and returned the words.
But today, something felt undeniably off.
I couldn’t explain it, and I still hoped I was imagining things, but any hope of that was nixed the moment I walked into the bright offices of Hoult Communications.
I was greeted by the usual hum of fast typing and murmured chatting. That was normal.
But the way Colin avoided me was not.
I had gotten out only half my question about how he was doing before he muttered “sorry” and some hasty excuse about needing to meet with Tori. That was strike one.
Strike two came when I got to Julian’s office and found him sitting and chatting with a young but silver-haired woman I didn’t recognize. He had the jacket of his sharp blue suit off and draped over his chair. The sunlight streaming through the window bounced straight off his watch and into his face, forcing me to shield my eyes even as the woman across from Julian turned and flashed me a warm smile.
“Oh! This must be Sara.”
“Indeed it is.”
I cocked my head, smiling politely despite my confusion, and despite the odd feeling churning in my stomach. I didn’t recognize the look in Julian’s eyes this morning. Despite his friendly, cordial tone as he facilitated my introduction to the mystery woman, his eyes were oddly vacant. He looked cold and steely – nothing like the man who had grabbed me the moment he laid eyes on me last night, and kissed me like it was his last chance to ever feel my lips.
Then again maybe it was.
“Who was that?” I asked the moment the woman left. Her name was Grayson Short, and she knew all about my journalism major, as well as my work with June Magazine. But by the time she walked out, I’d discovered nothing about her besides her name.
Julian nodded for me to take a seat before him.
“Grayson works with Hoult Publishing. She’s the person who is arranging your move to Una Magazine.”
My eyebrows shot up high. I was still suspicious, on edge, but I gave a big grin. The corners of my lips trembled a bit as I tried to figure out what was going on.
“So… I’m not going to stick around for the Roth negotiations?” I asked.
“No,” Julian replied. “You’re not.”
“Why not?”
“The opening for this position with Una is time sensitive. It’s a spot people are vying for, and if your goal is to work with the company, I would suggest you jump at this chance.”
I couldn’t reconcile the way I was feeling. The fact that I might actually work for Una Magazine made me want to twirl through the air and text every person I’d ever met the good news. At the same time, I fucking hated the sterile manner in which Julian was speaking to me. It felt cruel and insulting, and I tried telling myself he was just in work mode, but I wasn’t convinced.
He could’ve flashed me a little smirk or some knowing smile. He could have texted and given me a warning about maintaining a work appropriate relationship the moment we were back at the office.
But he did none of that. He launched straight into the strict professionalism, and it felt like a statement.
My fury went from zero to sixty as he went on about Grayson, her work, her credentials, and a million things that didn’t come close to acknowledging the sudden wall between us. I sat patiently through half his talk, because I still had the annoying instinct to mirror professionalism in an office setting.
But then I remembered I wasn’t sitting across from my boss.
I was sitting across from the man who only last night told me he loved me.
“Julian – what the hell is going on?” I demanded, finally snapping when I heard him mention Hoult Publishing International for the third time. “Why are you talking to me like this? And why do you keep mentioning Hoult International? What do they have to do with this conversation?”
Julian didn’t even flinch.
“There were no open positions at Una Magazine in the States,” he said, his expression blank. “The position I’m setting you up with is for Una U.K. Based in London.”
My heart slammed against my ribs as I stared at him.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, my voice reduced to a harsh whisper. “Julian, what are you trying to do to me right now?”
“I’m telling you the truth when I say there was no available position in the States,” Julian said. A slight frown appeared between his brows as he looked at me. “I can’t have you working here anymore, Sara. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t do this to me, Julian,” I said between my teeth. “I know you’re in there, and I know you recognize how fucked up this is right now.” The anger in my chest boiled, rising to my throat as he continued sitting there, a statue in a suit, giving me absolutely nothing. “At least give me the explanation,” I demanded, wishing I didn’t sound as shaky as I did. But at least I was talking. Julian continued with his silence as he sat there, studying me with the eyes that usually gave away his emotions.
Right now, they were empty. Like he’d flipped the switch back to being the unfeeling person he was before we met.
I didn’t realize it would be so easy for him. I thought like me, he had changed gradually. That together, we’d found a new side of him the way we did with me. At this point, there was no way I could get rid of what I’d discovered about myself – about how much I could open myself up, and how deep I could actually feel.
But apparently Julian was wired differently.
And I should’ve fucking guessed.
“What happened yesterday?” I challenged, refusing to back down without a straight answer. “Tell me what happened, because I know you meant it when you said it, Julian,” I hissed, my heart hammering as I watched his blue eyes spark to life. “I know you did. And yes, I entertain a lot of dreams and fantasies, but I’m not the type to imagine things, or see something where there’s nothing. I’m not by nature a hopeful person – you know that by now,” I ground out. “So if you refuse to let yourself feel for me anymore, then fine. I won’t grovel. But at least, explain to me what happened here, because you said you loved me last night, and a day later, you’re trying to get me as far away from you as possible. You know how cruel you’re being right now. And you know I deserve an answer.”
My hands were shaking. I didn’t know when I rose to my feet, but I did. And now I stood waiting for what felt like ages, because as always, Julian took his time to reply.
“This company is and always will be my priority, Sara,” he finally said, sinking my heart like a stone. “This company is how I found my way back to my family. It takes all of me to run both this place and the stadium the way I see fit.” He paused, the sharp lines of his jaw tightening. “I’ve never wanted something like I’ve wanted you, Sara,” he said, his voice a low murmur. “But what I want and what I need are two very different things.”<
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“I don’t feel like you mean that,” I whispered.
“I do,” Julian countered, his frown deepening. “I’m content around you, Sara. Borderline complacent, and I can’t afford that. We both need to focus on ourselves right now, Sara. We both have a lot of work to do.”
It was a last slap in the face, because all I heard was, “You’re a work in progress. Too far from together for me to bother with.”
My entire body trembled as I stood there staring at the shell of Julian Hoult – the person Emmett had warned me about. He was back on autopilot, content to simply sit there without saying another word. I shook my head in sheer disbelief. I couldn’t bring myself to accept this reality, but after another minute of silence, it was clear this was the only option I was getting.
And like I’d told him, I refused to grovel. If there was anything I was vehemently against, it was being that girl again – the one who’d do anything to be wanted, when clearly she wasn’t. I absolutely refused.
So with one last look at Julian, I turned on my heel, and I forced myself to go.
38
JULIAN
“You’re not allowed in my suite if you don’t have a beer. At least hold it, for Christ’s sake.”
I looked up to find Emmett trying again to make me drink. It was his fourth attempt in as many innings, and this time, his last ounce of patience was gone along with his usual grin.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he spoke over me when I opened my mouth. “Technically, it’s your suite because you own the stadium. Got that. Don’t care. If you’re gonna sit with me, you’re going to at least try to have a good time,” he said, holding the beer in my face till I took it. “Atta fuckin’ asshole.”
“Not sure that’s the saying.”
“Yeah, well it is for you.”
He left me alone for the next few innings, though I heard him talking about me to one of the many girls he’d brought in tonight.
“Yeah, he’s fine. No, don’t tell your friend to come over – trust me, that’ll be pointless. He’s just getting over a girl.” Emmett glanced at me. “She’s moving to Milan today. Or was it Paris?”