‘Okay, James, be ready when I yell,’ Jelena said. ‘The rest of you, follow my lead.’
Jelena darted down the back steps and towards the far corner of the pool, which was screened by lush greenery. We set the raft down out of view next to the pool shed.
Jelena called up to James. ‘Kill the lights now.’
All the backyard lights went off, plunging the area into darkness.
‘Okay, time to get this thing onto the water,’ Jelena said, untying her robe and letting it fall from her shoulders.
Bruce and Gary stopped, the raft half into the water, and gaped at Jelena’s costume. Relief washed over me once again that I wasn’t the one wearing it. Somewhere above us, a smoke machine unleashed pale pink air.
‘Position the raft!’ Jelena commanded.
The boys hurriedly lowered it into the water, holding it in position so it couldn’t float away before Jelena climbed aboard.
‘Okay, so if you two give me a slight push — and I mean slight; if I end up in the water, I will never forgive or forget — this thing should float gently to the other side of the pool, right?’
Jelena gave Gary and Bruce a glance that made it clear that if they failed, all points gained from the creation of the lectica and the shell would be immediately and forever lost. They nodded effusively in response.
Jelena handed them the bags of rose petals and carefully stepped onto the shell. As she took her position, she looked down to check her hair was still in place over the bikini top. Her legs shook slightly as the raft stabilised itself.
‘Okay, Cass and Aurora,’ she instructed without turning around, ‘head round to the other side of the pool now. I want you waiting there when I reach the shallow end.’
I saw her legs tremble again and felt guilty leaving her. It wasn’t like Jelena to show any semblance of nervousness. Then again, our classmates were hardly going to see her as their potential leader if she bellyflopped into the pool off a glittery ride-on shell.
‘Okay, I’m ready to go with the program as soon as you announce it,’ I promised as I reluctantly headed for the steps back up to the veranda.
‘Good luck, Jelena!’ Cass shouted. ‘It’ll be a triumphant voyage!’
‘Release the rose petals!’ I heard Jelena cry to Gary and Bruce. ‘Ten seconds till drift-off.’
As Cass and I ran along the veranda and down the steps that led to the pool gates, Rihanna’s ‘We Found Love’ started up on the sound system.
‘Woo-hoo! Party’s back on!’ Jesse Cook, his gladiator chest-plate dripping water, punched the air.
‘What’s with the pink smoke?’ someone behind me asked as Cass and I pushed our way through the crowd to the pool’s shallow end. Hayden, Scott, Sara and Lindsay were already there.
‘Can you see her?’ Cass asked anxiously.
I stared at the corner of the pool where Jelena’s journey should have begun. Being an almost moonless night, it was hard to see anything in the shadows of the greenery.
‘You don’t think she’s fallen off already, do you?’ Sara asked. ‘What if the vessel sank under her weight?’
I envisioned the sparkling shell on the bottom of the pool and felt sick. Obviously Jelena could swim, but what if she’d lost her balance too close to the launch spot and hit her head on the edge of the pool?
‘You guys saw her launch off, didn’t you?’ Hayden whispered.
‘No, she sent us round here,’ I replied, wishing we’d insisted on staying until she was on her way.
‘I’m jumping in,’ Hayden said, pulling his shirt off. ‘I want to make sure she’s okay.’
‘No, wait!’ Lindsay cried, pointing into the distance.
There, emerging from the pink smoke, the shell bobbing on floating pink rose petals, was Jelena. James turned the spotlight on and its beam picked up the crystals on the bikini bottom and the glittering surface of the shell. The way Jelena’s hair flowed over the top of the bikini gave the impression that she was naked up top. The crowd let out a collective gasp at the spellbinding apparition, then shouts, cheers and wolf whistles broke out all around us. Jelena maintained a slightly mysterious half-smile despite the overwhelming response.
A slow clap began, becoming more and more frenzied as the shell floated closer. As it neared the shallow end, Jelena’s Victoria’s Secret-like figure was highlighted even more magnificently. People began taking pictures on their mobiles.
‘Jelena does realise these photos are going to be all over Facebook, right?’ Scott asked Cass and me.
Sara answered for us. ‘I think that’s the aim. She’s big on social media marketing.’
‘I wish I was that poised,’ Lindsay said. ‘She looks like she’s weightless.’
‘Man! Who would have thought we’d be seeing that famous naked clam chick?’ Travis said to Jesse.
‘Venus, goddess of love!’ I shouted back to them, hoping to educate any other art-history-deprived classmates who might not be getting the reference.
‘Goddess lust-a-licious, more like it!’ Travis yelled back.
Jelena’s clam shell gently nudged the edge of the pool step and the crowd stopped clapping, eagerly awaiting her next move.
Jelena parted her perfect lips. ‘Cupid! I command thee to appear!’ she called, her voice echoing over the pool.
Jeffrey, dressed in a pair of white trunks with wispy white wings strapped to his back, danced towards her, flinging heart-shaped confetti at the crowd.
‘Goddess! You called!’ he cried, and took a heart-tipped arrow from the sling at his side and touched it to Jelena’s collarbone, obviously unable to resist making some kind of physical contact with the scantily clad Venus. ‘Cupid is here to do your every bidding. And I mean every —’
‘Thank you, Cupid!’ Jelena broke in. ‘Assist me in disembarking this vessel.’
Jeffrey waded into the water and knelt to form a stepping stone from the raft to the pool’s edge. Jelena placed her hand on his shoulder and stepped daintily onto his thigh. Jeffrey’s leg shook slightly at the weight, but his beaming smile never faded as Jelena launched herself to dry land.
One of the campaign team handed Jelena a microphone.
‘Party attendees!’ she cried. ‘Are you having a good night?’
Everyone broke into a cheer.
‘Let me make it even better!’ Jelena reached forward and grabbed my hand. ‘Torchbearers?’ she called.
Three of Jelena’s campaign team stepped forward, each holding a flaming torch. Another pushed his way through the crowd wheeling a huge heart with a giant ‘J’ inside it. As it drew closer, I saw that the heart was made of sparklers.
‘Tonight we light the fires of love,’ Jelena said. ‘Tonight I give you Aurora Skye’s visionary Find a Prince/Princess Program™ and the first phase of a revolutionary plan to be rolled out over the next few weeks. I invite you to experience the fairytale that will be Jefferson under my rule!’
Jelena clapped her hands and the torchbearers ignited the sparklers. The entire heart lit up, and I felt my own heart ignite with it as I looked at my schoolmates’ faces, radiant with anticipation. This was a launch truly worthy of the Find a Prince/Princess Program™. Jelena had captured its essence. I squeezed her hand in gratitude as we watched the sparklers slowly fade.
‘Roll video,’ Jelena called as the last sparkler died. Above the pool, the projector started up.
‘This is like a multimedia campaign,’ Scott whispered to Cass, sounding impressed.
An image of a heart, split down the middle, filled the screen, followed by a morose-looking girl in a school uniform. She was staring at her phone screen, which displayed the words It’s over. As the image faded into a shot of the girl crying on her bed, Avril Lavigne’s ‘Complicated’ started playing in the background.
‘Teenage love is a battlefield,’ Jelena said, her voice booming out over the pool. She paused for a moment, letting the statement sink in. ‘Our parents and teachers see it as puppy love — something light a
nd fluffy and unlikely to cause much harm, not worthy of being taken seriously. We all know that’s not the case.’
A forlorn-looking guy appeared on the screen. He tore up a photo of himself and a girl, presumably his ex.
‘You set your sights on a guy or a girl who’s a love liability and you pay the price of having your mistake witnessed school-wide,’ Jelena said. Her voice softened slightly. ‘I know this firsthand.’
At that, any whispers or soft giggles were silenced. The pool area became eerily quiet, as if everyone had stopped breathing. Hearing Jelena Cantrill admit to vulnerability was like Achilles exposing his heel — it just didn’t happen.
‘I’ve seen my classmates maimed by love, their dignity and self-confidence blown apart as if by a grenade. It doesn’t matter if you’re celebrity-grade gorgeous,’ Jelena gestured to herself, ‘have Einstein-like intelligence or are a sports star. No-one is immune.’
Only Jelena could make heartbreak sound like the unleashing of the bubonic plague, I thought wryly.
‘Say you’ve just begun dating someone,’ Jelena continued as a shot of a couple laughing and sharing an ice-cream flashed onscreen. ‘It started so promisingly. Maybe she smiled at you during sport. Maybe he jotted down his number on your notepad after he helped you with an equation in maths. Next thing you know, you’re walking to school holding hands, texting each other before you go to sleep at night, and planning coordinated outfits for the formal. It’s official, it’s on Facebook, you’re a couple. Until …’ Jelena paused dramatically. ‘One afternoon, your iPhone goes off and he’s dumped you by text message. Half the school already knows and has been pitying you all day. Or maybe she’s changed her Facebook status back to single without giving you any explanation and all your shared friends have inboxed you asking what’s gone wrong.’ Jelena shook her head. ‘Love is fraught with risk. As your potential school captain, I care about your experiences at Jefferson — and that includes your love life. This is why I am collaborating with Aurora Skye on the launch of her Find a Prince/Princess Program™.’
‘Why do we want the program if falling in love means being put in the line of fire?’ Juliet Bryce called out.
‘Yeah, I’m not big on risking emotional grenades,’ Jesse Cook said. ‘That’s why I haven’t made a move on this one.’ He nodded towards Juliet.
‘Dream on, Maximus,’ she fired back. ‘You’d be the grenade.’
‘You want the program because you’re more vulnerable if you’re making decisions on love solo,’ Jelena answered. ‘The brain is not to be trusted when it’s in love and souped up on chemicals. The decisions you make then are very different from the ones you make when you’re not all dizzy over his eyes or her lips. You can’t survive alone. You need an impartial third party, someone who can filter out the players and find you the guy or girl who not only makes you all tingly but is actually a good match for you.’
‘To be more precise, a perfect match for you!’ I called out.
I’d spent my week devising a Chemistry Calculator that would highlight the crossover compatibility of two individuals. Everyone who’d attended the party had been required to fill out a questionnaire on the qualities of their ideal partner. My plan was to feed this data into the Chemistry Calculator to ascertain the perfect match for each of our three matchmakees.
‘Exactly,’ Jelena said. ‘It’s failsafe. Using Aurora’s program to approach the dating scene is like entering the battlefield in a tank. It offers a level of protection that you just can’t get on your own.’
On the screen a tank smashed its way through and over stone walls. I looked at Jelena uneasily. Admittedly, when I’d handed her the Find a Prince/Princess Program™ manifesto I had used the words ‘I’ve seen my classmates getting their hearts maimed left, right and centre’, but I’d never imagined using a weapon of warfare as the program’s symbol. We were going to have to have a chat about branding. Despite Alex’s remarks, I’d seen myself as a little more Disney, a little less defeat-and-destroy.
‘Let’s review Aurora’s past successes,’ Jelena said, signalling to James.
Alicia Keys’s ‘Fallin’’ started playing over the sound system as the video switched to a photo of Lindsay and Tyler at Year Eight school camp. A beaming, braces-wearing Tyler was triumphantly holding Lindsay’s hand by the creek, the day that he’d officially asked her out for the first time.
‘TylerandLindsay,’ Jelena announced. ‘You all know them well. The inseparability. The sentences uttered in unison. The bordering-on-sickening level of public affection.’
I cringed as the screen flicked to a shot of them pashing near the monkey bars.
‘OMG.’ Lindsay looked like she was gritting her teeth as members of the soccer team punched Tyler in the arm, grinning like Cheshire cats. ‘Jelena!’
Jelena didn’t stop. ‘Until January this year, when their relationship splintered.’
A cracking noise echoed through the yard and several people looked nervously at the trees, unaware that James had hit a sound effect on the mixing deck.
‘Shocked by this unexpected split, the school gave up hope of ever seeing Tyler and Lindsay reconcile,’ Jelena went on. ‘Lindsay’s friends lost faith in love’s happy ending. Tyler felt the anguish of dashed dreams after his foolhardy break-up decision.’
A shot appeared of Tyler on his knees in the school library, begging Lindsay for a second chance. The real Tyler looked mortified at the public reminder of his desperation to reclaim Lindsay.
‘How does she even have a record of this?’ Lindsay whispered to Sara.
‘Tyler did make a spectacle of himself that day,’ Sara whispered back. ‘I think some people got it on video too.’
Lindsay buried her head in her hands. I felt terrible for her. Why hadn’t I insisted on being briefed before the launch of the program? I would never have let Jelena use Lindsay’s break-up as a platform for our agenda. People’s private lives shouldn’t be mixed up with politics.
‘But one person kept the faith,’ Jelena cried out. ‘One person knew that what Tyler and Lindsay had came once in a lifetime. Like Edward and Bella, they were destined to be together.’
The next shot was of Lindsay and Tyler on the bus, Lindsay asleep on his shoulder.
Scott let out a laugh. ‘I swear she’s had a video crew working fulltime on this for years.’
‘Scott!’ Cass shot him a warning look.
‘That person was Aurora Skye,’ Jelena continued. ‘Her gifts are so great that not only did she heal Lindsay and Tyler’s broken bond in a matter of weeks, but she simultaneously launched another epic love match — that of Cassie and Scott.’
Their intertwined names appeared on the screen, hovering doves holding heart-shaped balloons on either side. Usher’s ‘U Got it Bad’ began playing.
‘Both genetically blessed yet bizarrely modest, neither one was game to make a move on the other despite the fact that Cupid’s arrow had struck them both,’ Jelena said.
Jeffrey danced over to Cass and Scott and touched his arrow tip to their collarbones in turn.
‘I shouldn’t have laughed,’ Scott said wryly as the audience turned its full attention on him and Cass.
‘It would have been years of longing looks and shy smiles with no real resolution if not for Aurora’s program. But with her Rules of Attraction guiding the two lovebirds, it was the start of something magical.’
A montage followed: Cass and Scott working on a theatre backdrop, Scott handing her a coffee and kissing her on the cheek, Cassie grinning as she threw her arms around him in the auditorium.
I looked at Cass, who was bright red.
‘Oh no, she didn’t!’ Sara said dramatically.
My eyes shot back to the screen. Scott was down on one knee on a picnic blanket, a blue Tiffany box in his outstretched hand, a shocked Cass staring back at him.
‘Where did you get that?’ I whispered in shock to Jelena.
‘I tweaked the shot of him giving her the rose on Va
lentine’s Day,’ Jelena whispered back enthusiastically. ‘Isn’t it great?’
‘Oh man, Scott, you are whipped!’ someone yelled.
‘Don’t knock the sacredness of the little blue box!’ a girl shouted in response.
‘They’re getting married?’ a more gullible partygoer shrilled.
The screen changed to a shot of Scott and Cassie cuddling in front of a house with a white picket fence, a Sold sign behind them on the gate. Twin toddlers, both with blond hair like Cass and Scott, hugged their knees.
‘You actually Photoshopped in kids?’ Cass murmured, mortified. She looked ready to run away.
‘Could you get any cuter?’ Jelena boomed over the mike as girls in the crowd ‘awwed’ at the shot.
I looked over at Scott and saw that he was laughing. Thank god he was taking it in good humour. A less good-natured guy would be freaking out about Jelena’s lightning-fast, totally public projection of his future. Cass and Scott had only been together for a fortnight!
‘Obviously, all of this is yet to come,’ Jelena said. ‘But the montage demonstrates how, if I’m elected, my work at Jefferson will have benefits that stretch far beyond the schoolyard. So I ask you to choose opportunity. Think with your heart — vote Jelena Cantrill!’
The presentation finished and the crowd burst into cheers.
‘We’re going to take a brief break now to let you enjoy the party before we return and announce the three lucky candidates for the Find a Prince/Princess Program™!’ Jelena cried. ‘Remember, you must have filled out a questionnaire to be in the running!’
‘Get your love on!’ Jeffrey shouted, flinging more confetti into the air as James started playing Far East Movement’s ‘Turn Up the Love’. Centurions, Roman noblewomen and slaves all started jiggling along the minute the music was turned up.
Avoiding the overenthusiastic dancers, Jelena and I made our way over to the drinks table. I poured us both a golden goblet of grape juice.
‘I say ten minutes to build the anticipation, then we draw the names,’ Jelena said as she took a strawberry from the fruit platter.
How to Convince a Boy to Kiss You Page 9