“He’s on the phone.”
My heart skipped a beat as I stared at her, feeling slightly dumbfounded. Ryan had tried calling me a couple of times over the weekend, leaving me brief messages saying that he really wanted to talk. He’d also texted an apology, which I might have thought was tacky except I hadn’t returned any of his calls, so what was he supposed to do? He had no idea if I’d actually listened to any of his voicemails. Now he’d managed to track me down at the office as well. I sighed, thinking this was neither the time nor place for us to talk. Not that I was ready to anyway. “Tell him I’m working.”
“I’m sorry, she’s not available right now,” Julia said into the mouthpiece, all business. “Yes, I think she is upset,” she said in a more hushed whisper. My eyes darted back to her, and she quickly ended the call.
“What did he want?”
“To apologize. He said he really wants to talk to you. He’s willing to fly out here if you’ll talk to him.”
I laughed, a short, harsh sound, with the slight smile on my face never reaching my eyes. “Sure, tell him to come out here,” I said sarcastically, knowing it would never happen. In a day or two he’d find some other woman to go to bed with. Then he’d have no reason to even think about me. Julia sensed that the conversation was over and turned back to her computer, returning to whatever task she’d been working on. I called the wedding caterer and florist to confirm final details for the wedding and then texted Morgan and Josh, telling them both to calm down. Might as well kill two birds with one stone, right? Pulling up my files for the conference I was planning next month, I signed the final agreement for the food service arrangements and faxed it to Denver, promising myself that I wouldn’t fall for any tall, handsome, strangers that I happened to meet there. Maybe I should just stay out of bars all together this time.
A new message beeped on my phone, and I was slightly dismayed to see that it was from Ryan. I closed my eyes, trying not to picture his face in my mind, but all I could see were his blue eyes gazing deep into mine, right before our first kiss in my hotel room, and I ached remembering the tender feel of his lips. Finally deciding that I at least owed him a response, even if it was to tell him never to contact me again, I glanced down at his message. My eyes read over his words again and again.
I know that you’re angry, but just tell me one thing—do you regret the time we spent together?
Finally deciding that I had nothing more to lose, and hoping that he’d give me a little breathing room, I sent him a message back.
No. I just need time to think.
I glanced down at my phone as one final message came in.
I’m sorry, Sarah.
***
I met Morgan for drinks at 6:30 p.m., needing to take a breather after my crazy day. I’d gotten two new requests for event planning this afternoon—a conference that was scheduled for early next year and a wedding in the fall. Apparently one of the vendors I’d been working with for Morgan’s wedding had informed another client that I was a wedding planner. Although I might have considered branching out if I wasn’t so busy, there was no way I could take on planning weddings on top of my already full schedule.
The waitress set our drinks down, and I picked up my margarita, taking a long sip.
“Delicious,” Morgan said with a grin, taking a sip of her own rum and coke. “I needed something to take the edge off.”
“Wedding day jitters?” I teased.
“More like wedding week jitters at this point,” she said with a laugh. “I’m just waiting for something to go wrong. Thank God the snowstorm was this past weekend. Can you imagine if my own relatives hadn’t been able to fly in this week for the wedding?”
“That would have been a nightmare,” I agreed. “But don’t worry; you don’t need to worry about a thing. That’s why I’m getting paid the big bucks.” Morgan laughed, knowing I wasn’t getting paid a thing for my honorary role as wedding planner. I wouldn’t have had it any other way though.
“So anyway,” I said, deciding to broach a new subject. “What made you tell Julia about Ryan?”
“Oh, it just came up,” Morgan said with a shrug.
I gave her a look. “There’s no way it just came up. What, my assistant just happened to ask if I met anyone over the weekend?”
“Okay, okay. Maybe it didn’t just come up. But I was talking to Julia about the wedding and how you ended up missing the bachelorette party. She sounded bummed that you couldn’t make it after all the hard work you’d put in planning it, so I just said something about how I didn’t think you were too lonely during your time in San Francisco. I’m sorry,” she added, once again meeting my gaze.
“It’s fine,” I said with a sigh. “It’s not like I care that she knows. I’m just having a tough time today.”
“You really like him, huh?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said, shaking my head. “He was just with me because he can never have the woman he really wants.” I’d told Morgan the whole story yesterday about finding Ryan’s letter and realizing that our night together meant something different to Ryan than to me. Sure I was attracted to him, but I’d thought we had an amazing connection and something that you didn’t find just anywhere. He may have been attracted to me, too, but he was also secretly pining away for someone he could never have. “Anyway, enough about me. Are you getting excited? Five more days!”
“I know; I can hardly believe it. It feels like we’ve been engaged forever, and now all of a sudden the wedding is here. By this time next week I’ll be a Mrs.!”
“And in Hawaii,” I added with a grin. “I could really go for a vacation right about now.”
“I hear California is nice this time of year,” she said casually. If looks could kill, Morgan would never have stood a chance against my scorching gaze.
“Or not,” she said with a giggle. She glanced down at my empty glass. “Come on; let’s have another drink. Next round’s on me.”
Chapter 5
Morgan’s dad finished his toast at the rehearsal dinner on Friday night, and I happily raised my wine glass with the others, congratulating the happy couple. The rehearsal had gone off without a hitch, and the dinner was spectacular, with an amazing spread of appetizers, a main course of lobster and filet mignon, and a delicious assortment of bite-size desserts. I’d helped Morgan’s parents select the location for the dinner and was happy that everything had worked out as planned. Morgan’s brother Chris leaned closer to me, giving me a big grin. “I can’t believe my little sister is really getting married. Think that’ll be you and me someday?”
I laughed as I glanced over at him. “‘You and me’ as in getting married to each other? Or just getting married in general?”
Chris laughed, a deep, rich sound, and I wished that I didn’t see him almost as my own big brother. He was cute, with a friendly personality and steady job, but there never had been any sparks between us, much to Morgan’s and her parents’ disappointment. “I meant in general. But hey, if you’re asking me to marry you, I wouldn’t turn you down.”
I elbowed him playfully, thinking there was no end to his teasing. “I better go bring in the gifts soon.”
“Gifts?”
“Yeah, Morgan and Josh have presents for all the bridesmaids and groomsmen.”
“Well, this night is getting better and better. My little sister is plying us with alcohol, lavishing us with presents—maybe we should get married, so we can have a big party, too.”
I eyed him curiously, thinking maybe I’d been reading him wrong. Even if Chris had feelings for me, though, I definitely didn’t return his affection. “Right,” I said uncertainly, wanting to change the subject.
“Hey, I’m just kidding,” Chris said, sensing my discomfort. “I know you’re pining away for that San Francisco guy anyway.”
“I’m not pining away,” I protested. “Seriously, is there anyone that Morgan didn’t tell about Ryan? Next time I’m keeping my mouth shut.”
Ch
ris shrugged, giving me a quick grin. “You never know. These things have a way of working themselves out.”
An hour later the bridal party had opened our presents (matching silver necklaces for the bridesmaids and silver-plated cocktail shakers for the groomsmen), guests were finishing their dessert and after-dinner coffee, and the evening was beginning to wind down. “Sarah, this dinner was amazing!” Morgan said, throwing her arms around me in a huge hug.
“Well, it’s no bachelorette party, but I’m glad that I at least got to celebrate with you at the rehearsal dinner.”
“Seriously, you’ve done an awesome job with everything. Thank you so much!”
She squeezed my arm as she bounced up and down with joy, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d see her so happy. “And just wait for tomorrow,” I said. “The best is still yet to come!”
“All right, my bride-to-be,” Josh interrupted, wrapping his arms around Morgan. “Is this the part where I say that I’ll see you at the altar?”
“I’m afraid so. I need to get my beauty sleep and then spend all morning getting ready!”
“This is one of those times I’m glad it’s easier being a guy. I plan to shower, shave, and throw on my tux. Done,” he said with a grin.
“Just remember that the next time you’re complaining about how long it takes me to get ready. Men have it easier.”
“Isn’t that the truth,” I chimed in.
“Will do,” Josh said good-naturedly.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, honey,” Morgan said, twisting around in Josh’s arms to give him a tender kiss goodbye.
“I still don’t understand why you can’t stay at your condo tonight,” Chris said, confused. “You guys live together!”
“It’s tradition,” I said with a shrug.
“It would be bad luck for Josh to see me tomorrow morning. He knows that!”
Josh gave Chris a look that seemed to say, I know this is crazy, but what can I do?
“So, what, is Sarah staying with you in the bridal suite tonight?” Chris asked.
“No, silly. I’m staying in her room. Tomorrow all the girls will get ready together in my suite, but only Josh and I will be staying there.”
“I sure hope so,” Josh said, wrapping his arms around Morgan’s waist again to pull her close.
“This is why I’m coordinating the wedding and not you,” I teased Chris. “You have to understand all the finite details.”
“I’m happy to let you have the job,” he said with a laugh. “Marketing is more my thing anyway.”
We said goodnight and grabbed a cab over to our hotel. I’d already checked-in earlier, so our overnight bags, dresses, and everything else needed to get ready in the morning were waiting in my room. As we walked across the lobby, Morgan suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me in the opposite direction of the elevator bank. As I glanced over at her in confusion, I thought I caught a glimpse of a tall, dark-haired guy ducking down a side hallway—a guy that looked an awful lot like Ryan. I’d only seen him for a second though and knew logically that he wouldn’t be here in Chicago, at the hotel where Morgan was getting married. My heart was a different matter though, and I found myself wishing more than anything that it had really been him.
***
The next morning was spent in a flurry of activity. Morgan and I ordered room service, but while I enjoyed a quick breakfast, she was too nervous to eat. Before long, hairdressers, make-up artists, and even the hotel seamstress descended on Morgan’s bridal suite, prepping Morgan and all of the bridesmaids, including myself, for her big day. I’d arranged for a light lunch catered by the hotel and a champagne toast, so Morgan and I sat around with the other bridesmaids wearing silk bathrobes, in full hair and make-up, enjoying one last meal together before the ceremony. “I wonder what the guys are doing right now,” Morgan said.
“Just waking up?” I joked.
“They better not be! I told Josh to go straight home last night.”
“I’m just kidding. I’m sure they’re getting ready—or at least thinking about it. They don’t have nearly as much to do as us.”
“I know, I’m dying to get into my dress though,” she said, eyeing the cream lace gown hanging over in the corner of the room. “After searching high and low for the perfect dress, I’m not going to take it off all night!”
“I wonder how Josh will feel about that,” I teased.
“Very funny.”
I glanced down at my phone to check the time and felt a little sad that I didn’t have any messages from Ryan. I hadn’t heard from him since Monday, when I’d told him that I needed time to think, but I’d secretly hoped that he’d at least send me a quick text today. It’s not like I expected a dozen roses or something—who knew if or when I’d see him again. But what girl wouldn’t want to hear from the guy she’d fallen for on Valentine’s Day? I felt a little sad that my best friend was getting married to the love of her life, and the guy I wanted hadn’t even given me a call. He was probably just respecting my wishes; after all, Ryan had apologized, and I was the one who was upset and told him that I needed some time.
“Should we get you into your gown?” I asked Morgan, trying to get my mind back on the task at hand.
One of the other bridesmaids and I helped her slip it on, and the hairdresser that had remained hovering around provided a few final touches. I stepped into my red satin gown, which hung to the floor and clung to my curves in just the right places. As we got ready to head downstairs to the banquet hall where the wedding ceremony and reception would be held, Morgan leaned over and whispered in my ear. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” I knew she could tell I wasn’t my usual cheerful self, and I was grateful that she’d said anything at all since this was her big day. Plastering a smile on my face, I walked with her and the other girls to the elevator bank, and we crowded into one elevator for the ride down to the lobby. Chris was there to escort me down the aisle as the ceremony began and we made our way through the opening procession. Moments later Morgan herself was being escorted down the aisle by her father, and my smile was genuine this time as I saw how happy my best friend was.
The minister began the ceremony, and I stood beside Morgan at the altar, holding her bridal bouquet of deep red roses along with my smaller one, a mixture of red and cream flowers. Morgan looked radiant in her cream lace gown, a long veil with delicate embroidery trailing down her back. I hadn’t seen her take her eyes off of Josh since the moment she’d walked into the room, and he was beaming back at her as well. Chris stood beside the groom, happily gazing down at his little sister, and three other bridesmaids and groomsmen rounded out our bridal party. As the minister said, “You may now kiss the bride,” the room broke into applause as Josh kissed Morgan in a passionate embrace.
Chris took my arm as we followed them back down the aisle, leading the rest of the bridal party as the maid of honor and best man. My sensuous red silk gown flowed around me as I walked, revealing a peek of the matching red satin heels that I wore. The colors Morgan had chosen for the wedding were in tribute to Valentine’s Day, but I was glad that she’d let me make sure it was tastefully done. I’d seen the slight look of regret in Chris’s eyes as he gazed at me, and I felt a pang of guilt, knowing what it felt like to want something you could never have. Chris and I had been friends for years though, so surely he must have known that at this point, we were destined to be just friends.
I’d left my small purse at the back of the banquet room and wanted to retrieve it to check the messages on my phone. It was more stressful managing a wedding that you were participating in than I thought, and I was certain there was probably some crisis that needed tending to. Chris guided me out into the lobby, where Morgan and Josh were already posing for pictures in front of an enormous fountain. Instead of going over to join them though, he pulled me in the opposite direction, toward a small sitting area off to the side. “Where are we going?” I asked, confused. “We have to get our pictures taken, too. There’s goi
ng to be some of the entire bridal party.”
“That’s not for half an hour,” Chris said easily.
“You actually read the schedule I sent out?” I asked in surprise, referring to the detailed agenda I’d emailed everyone yesterday.
“Yep,” he said with a grin. “Impressed?”
“Maybe a little. But you still didn’t tell me where we’re going.”
“I think there’s someone here who wants to talk to you,” he said in a low voice, his mouth hovering close to my ear.
We rounded a corner, and standing there in front of me, wearing his dress uniform, was Ryan. My mouth dropped open and heart skipped a beat as I stared at him, taking in his short dark hair, chiseled face, and piercing blue eyes. His broad shoulders and chest filled out his uniform nicely and narrowed to a slim waist. He looked unbelievably big and strong filling up the entrance to the hallway, and I clutched onto Chris as tears filled my eyes. Ryan walked over, his eyes never leaving my face, and Chris took my hand from his arm and placed it in Ryan’s, almost as if I was the bride and he was giving me away.
My hand trembled as Ryan’s warm fingers wrapped around mine. “Can I talk to you?” Ryan asked, his deep voice sounding sexy and low.
“Okay,” I whispered, and Chris gracefully made his exit, seeing that I was okay.
I clasped my hands to my chest, somehow feeling like I needed to protect myself even though another part of me only wanted Ryan to pull me into his arms.
“I’m sorry, Sarah,” Ryan said, gazing down at me. “I should have told you everything last Friday. I just couldn’t imagine needing to because I never thought that I’d fall in love with a girl I just met. Then when I found out that you were leaving right away the next morning, I just couldn’t find the right words to explain myself. I felt like writing a letter was the only way I could get out everything I needed to tell you before you had to go. I’m in love with you, Sarah.”
Valentine from a Soldier Page 4