by Andria Large
CHRISTIAN
By Andria Large
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, businesses, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2013 by Andria Large. All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced, scanned, distributed, or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Printed in the United States of America
First Printing, 2013
ASIN:
Kindle Direct Publishing
kdp.amazon.com/self-publishing
Acknowledgements
First, I want to say thank you to my husband and my girls, who have been nothing but supportive of me. Second, I want to give a shout out to my friend, Jessica Carroll, who started me on this crazy journey; without her and her blog, no one would have ever heard about the Beck Brothers. And last but not least, to my editor, Megan Hershenson, who worked tirelessly to make my work sound better and more professional. And of course, thanks to all of my fans, I love you all!!!
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Epilogue
~Prologue~
Christian was hammered. He had a great time dancing and laughing with his family, but he hadn’t seen Shea in about an hour, so he went looking for him. Christian found him at the bar, talking to Jared Walsh, Sebastian’s new brother-in-law. He went over and slung his arm around Shea’s shoulders.
“Hey, guys.” Christian greeted them.
“Hey, Chris,” Jared smiled.
“Hey, buddy,” Shea said, turning his glazed brown eyes toward Christian.
“Listen, I gotta piss. I’ll see you guys later,” Jared said and left them to find the bathroom.
Christian took a deep breath, he had something he wanted to tell Shea, and it was now or never. “Shea, can we go somewhere quiet to talk?”
“Yeah, sure, man.”
Shea pushed away from the bar and Christian dropped his arm. They headed out into the lobby and out the front doors. Christian led them over to the little grassy area where the gazebo was. It was dark and quiet in the gazebo; no one else was outside - perfect for what he needed to tell Shea. He stepped into the gazebo then turned and waited for Shea, who ended up tripping as he stepped into the gazebo. Christian caught him, but since they were both drunk, they stumbled until his back bumped against one of the poles, and Shea was pressed against his front. Christian’s eyes slid closed. Jesus, he couldn’t remember what they even came out here for. He has been dreaming about Shea being in his arms like this for too long.
“You know, I have always wondered what it would be like to kiss you,” Shea murmured huskily into the dark, his mouth mere inches from Christian’s.
Christian’s eyes flew open. He was about to ask Shea what the hell he was talking about, but instead Shea kissed him. Christian sucked in a sharp breath through his nose, his eyes fluttering shut. Holy shitballs! Shea was kissing him! Christian fisted his hands in the back of Shea’s shirt and kissed him back, all of his pent up desires bursting forth. Their tongues met and Christian thought he was going to come in his pants. He moaned into Shea’s mouth, and he responded with his own moan, as he pressed Christian more firmly against the pole.
The kiss was urgent and messy. Shea’s goatee scraped Christian’s skin and he loved every minute of it, never wanting it to end; but of course, it had to. Shea pulled back only enough to press their foreheads together as they both sucked in much needed air. Christian could feel Shea trembling against him. Yeah, he was just as affected as Christian was.
“Damn.” Shea breathed.
“What was that about?” Christian asked quietly.
“I don’t know,” he said, swallowing hard.
“Was it just the alcohol?” Christian asked.
“I...I don’t know,” Shea murmured.
Christian sighed heavily, his heart shattering into pieces. He gently pushed Shea back. “Well, when you figure it out, I’ll be here,” he said and started to leave the gazebo.
Shea grabbed his arm. “Hold up! What did you want to talk about?”
Christian hung his head for a moment before he glanced back at Shea. “I was going to tell you that I’m in love with you.”
Shea flinched as if Christian just slapped him across the face. “But...but...”
“Yeah, I know, you’re straight. You don’t have to remind me,” Christian muttered and pulled his arm out of Shea’s grasp. “I’m going back inside.”
Christian left Shea standing stunned in the gazebo. He didn’t know what he expected when he first went out there, but that was not it. He now had a taste of Shea, and nothing was ever going to be the same between them. He didn’t think he could go on just being friends with him anymore, it was too painful. Christian’s stomach protested and he ran for the bathroom. He locked himself in a stall and puked his ever-loving guts up. Thank god, no one else was around.
Christian pretty much avoided Shea for the remainder of the night. However, when the limo stopped to drop Christian off at home, Shea got out, too. Shea followed him into his house before shutting the door and locking it behind him.
“Chris, we have to talk about this,” Shea murmured as he followed Christian up the stairs.
“Talk about what? I’m gay, you’re not. I’m in love with you, but the feelings aren’t mutual. There is really nothing else to talk about,” Christian muttered, dragging a hand through his hair as he walked into his room.
“What about our friendship?” Shea demanded.
Christian sighed and dropped down to sit on the end of his bed. “I don’t know what to do about that, Shea. All I know is that I can’t go on like this anymore, it hurts too much.”
Christian glanced up at Shea where he was standing just inside the door, the look of pure agony on his face. “You...I...we can’t just throw away decades of friendship over a kiss,” he whispered.
“Shea, this isn’t about the kiss. This is about me looking at you every day, knowing that we will never be anything more than friends. I don’t know how I fell in love with you, but I did, and it hurts so fucking badly to look at you and know that you will never feel the same way about me,” Christian said hoarsely. He was practically sober again, throwing up definitely had a part in that.
“So you’re saying that the only way to keep you in my life is to be in a relationship with you?” Shea asked, taking a step forward.
Christian frowned as he thought about it. “I guess, I don’t see any other way,” he answered, shaking his head.
Shea got scary quiet, deep in thought. He took a deep breath and said the one thing that Christian NEVER expected to hear. “Then let’s do it. If that is the only way that you want me in your life, then I’m going to take it. You are the only family I have, and I can’t lose you, Christian. So, if you want me to be your boyfriend, then that’s what I’m going to be,” he said firmly.
Christian sputtered and blinked rapidly. What the fuck was going on here? “Excuse me?”
“I’m game, Chris. If it’s a relationship that you want, then it’s a relat
ionship you’re gonna get,” Shea said seriously.
Christian eyed him warily. “Sex?”
“Sex included,” Shea agreed.
“But...I don’t understand. Why would you do this? You’re not attracted to me like that.” Christian scoffed. “You can’t just wake up one day and decide to be gay.”
“Did I not tell you once that you were the only guy I have ever found attractive?” Shea reminded him.
“I thought you were fucking with me!”
“Well, I wasn’t.” Shea shrugged.
“Listen, Shea, if you are serious about this, there will be no more women for you. I don’t share,” Christian said.
“I don’t want any women if it means not having you. I do love you, you know.”
“But you’re not in love with me,” Christian said with a pointed look.
“I don’t think it would be hard to fall in love with you, Christian,” Shea murmured softly, taking another step forward, which put him right in front of him.
Christian looked up at the man he was so in love with, offering him everything he has always wanted. Did he take the chance and agree to this? It could end horribly with not just Christian’s heart broken, but Shea’s, too. Could Shea actually be in a sexual relationship with another guy? Christian didn’t know, and he wouldn’t unless he put himself out there and gave this thing a try. The first real burst of excitement hit him square in the gut; this might be his one and only chance to be with Shea, so he was going to take it.
“Are you sure? You’re not just doin’ this out of guilt or pity? Or because you are afraid of losing our friendship?” Christian asked.
“More like terrified,” Shea murmured softly. “But I am absolutely positive that this is what I want.” Shea finished firmly and nodded.
Christian eyed him warily but nodded in return. “Okay, but I’m warning you, there is no going back after this.”
“I know.”
Christian held out his hand, and Shea instantly threaded their fingers together. Christian’s heart fluttered. “God, Shea, are you really sure? You have to be...”
“Chris, just stop! If I wasn’t sure I never would have offered, so stop doubting me,” Shea said, squeezing Christian’s fingers.
“I’m just afraid you are going to change your mind tomorrow.” Christian sighed.
Shea shook his head. “I will not change my mind, I swear.”
“But you’re not gay.”
“I will be for you. I would do anything for you, you should know that by now, Chris,” Shea said with a small smile. “I will not lose my best friend because I’m not gay, fuck that, consider me gay from now on.”
Christian couldn’t help but chuckle. He hoped this wasn’t a huge mistake. Can you really just decide to be gay? Just like that?
Shea sat down next to Christian and looked down at their intertwined hands. “I’m not going to lie and say that being with a dude doesn’t freak me out a little bit, but I liked our kiss earlier. I think if we just take it a step at a time, I’ll be fine. I have been curious about what you are like in bed.”
Christian took a deep breath and blew it out. “Okay,” he agreed.
“How’s your anxiety? Is your heart okay? Did it give out? You gonna puke?”
Christian laughed and nudged Shea with his shoulder. “You’re a dick.”
Shea suddenly yawned but nodded in agreement. “I know...damn, I’m beat, are we done talking? Cause I’d really like to go to sleep now.”
“Yeah, yeah, we can go to sleep.” Christian smirked.
Shea turned and crawled up the bed on his hands and knees. Christian smacked his ass, causing him to yelp in surprise. Shea glared over his shoulder at him before plopping down on his stomach and snuggling up with a pillow.
“Dude, you still have your shoes on.” Christian snickered.
“Don’t care, too tired,” Shea mumbled, his voice muffled by the pillow.
Christian huffed as he grabbed Shea’s shoes and pulled them off, taking off his socks, too, because he knew that Shea hated sleeping with socks on. Christian then got himself undressed. In some ways, this relationship with Shea was going to be a piece of cake because they already knew each other inside out; however, in other ways, it was going to be a struggle. But Christian knew that they could do it, as long as they were both committed to making it work.
“So what should I call you now? Sweetie, pumpkin or kitten? Oh, oh, I know! How about cocksucker?” Shea teased, lifting his head to grin evilly over his shoulder at Christian.
“I might be gay, but I can totally kick your ass,” Christian warned.
“I would say that you’re more likely to fuck my ass than kick it.” Shea snorted, dropping his head back to his pillow.
Christian threw his head back and laughed. He finished getting undressed, leaving only his black boxer/briefs on. He climbed onto the bed next to Shea and collapsed; Christian rolled onto his side facing Shea and stroked a hand over his short hair. Shea hummed softly and snuggled his face closer to his.
“What are you going to tell that girl you’re seeing?” Christian asked.
“The truth,” Shea muttered sleepily.
“You’re going to tell her that you’ve suddenly decided to start a relationship with your gay best friend?”
Shea shrugged. “Sure, why not?”
Christian seriously doubted that Shea was going to tell the girl the truth, but he wasn’t going to argue with him now. Christian put his arm around his waist and pulled him closer. Shea shifted and rolled so that his back pressed against Christian’s front. Christian hummed his approval and wrapped his arm around Shea. Christian tucked his face into the back of his neck and sighed heavily. This felt so right. God, he hoped this relationship worked.
~Chapter 1~
Shea groaned and rolled over. Holy schnikes! His head was absolutely pounding; he drank way too much last night at Sebastian’s wedding, but hell, that was a must at all Beck parties. He stretched and looked down at himself, and he was still fully clothed. Shea rolled his eyes at himself before throwing his legs over the side of the bed as he sat up. He scrubbed his face and the sleep from his eyes before looking around. He was in Christian’s bedroom. Last night came slamming back to the forefront of his mind, the kiss between Christian and him, their conversation, everything…
Holy Mother of God! Christian is his boyfriend!
Shea whipped his throbbing head around to look at the other side of the bed where Christian was sprawled out on his stomach with his head under a pillow, wearing only his underwear. His heart fluttered. Christian, his best friend, was now his boyfriend. Wow…just wow.
Christian grumbled something incoherent and pulled his head out from under the pillow. His hair was a hot mess as he pushed up onto his elbows and rubbed his face. He dragged his eyes open to catch Shea watching him. Christian sighed heavily and hung his head.
“You’ve changed your mind, haven’t you?” he said dejectedly.
“What? No, definitely not,” Shea assured him.
“Then why do you look like you want to run screaming?”
“It just kind of hit me, that’s all. I’m not going to run.”
Christian nodded, but he didn’t look convinced. Shea stood and headed toward the door.
“Where are you going?” Christian asked, a hint of panic in his voice.
“Relax spaz, I gotta take a piss.” Shea chuckled.
“Oh,” replied Christian, who was now blushing.
Shea smiled and shook his head as he walked down the hall to the bathroom. Poor Christian, the guy needed to be medicated, but Christian always refused, saying he didn’t want to be on medication every day. After going to the bathroom and brushing his horrendous dragon breath with an extra toothbrush, Shea headed back to Christian’s room, where he was now sitting on the bed, head hanging, shoulders slumped. Shea pounced on Christian, making them both fall back with Shea on top. He cupped Christian’s face and kissed him on the lips.
“Oh God, maybe I should have waited until you brushed your teeth.” Shea grimaced.
“Nice,” Christian said dryly.
Shea chuckled and gave Christian another small kiss on the mouth. “I’m going to go get some aspirin and coffee.”
Christian nodded. “Alright.”
One more kiss before Shea got up and headed downstairs. The first thing he did was take some aspirin and then he set up the coffee pot. He had just poured coffee into two mugs when Christian walked into the kitchen. To Shea’s surprise, Christian was actually in a pair of plaid pajama pants and no shirt. That was definitely the most dressed down that Christian ever got, and damn he looked fine without a shirt.
“Listen, Shea, if you want out just tell me now…” Christian started but Shea cut him off.
“For Christ’s sake, Chris, I don’t want out. Will you please stop second guessing me?” said Shea, letting out an irritated sigh as he fixed their coffees with cream and sugar.
“I’m sorry, I’m just finding this difficult to wrap my mind around,” Christian muttered and sank down into his normal chair at the head of the table.
“Stop thinking so much about it. We’re pretty much just adding more affection and sex to our friendship. You’re making this a bigger deal than it is,” Shea said and set Christian’s coffee down in front of him.
Christian gave him an incredulous look. “This is a big deal! You’re not gay!”
“What the fuck did I tell you last night? I am now, so shut the hell up and just accept it.”
“Jesus Christ, Shea, you can’t just turn gay overnight!” Christian argued.
“Watch me!” Shea countered.
He was serious about this. He was not going to lose his best friend and only family he had because he wasn’t gay. Christian was in love with him, and he would be damned if he were going to let him walk away without at least trying to give Christian what he deserved. Christian wanted to be with him, and he would do that for him and only for him. If any other man came to Shea and told him that they were in love with him, he probably would have run away screaming, but this was Christian.