They just sat there quietly and let me do it too, which was kind of weird. Normally girlfriends get up and hug you while you sob out your emotions. Beck and Regina just waited patiently for me to stop. To be honest, I felt a little lighter when I was done. Like I’d just been to confession or something.
“Holy shit, Angel, that’s a lot,” Regina said as she grabbed a box of tissues from who the hell knows where and pushed them across the table at me. I grabbed a fistful from the box and blotted my eyes and then I blew my nose.
“Yeah, I know. I screwed up bad.” I sniffled.
Beck made a kind of “hmm” noise in his throat for a minute as he scratched his chin with his forefinger and thumb. “You know, that was kind of some impressive BS right there.”
“What?” I asked, shocked that he would say such a thing to me while I sat there crying.
“Well, the kidnapping part and the ransom sounds crazy, but not really your fault. You should just be happy he cared enough about you to rescue you. A lot of people wouldn’t do that. Especially if it cost them so much. No ex best friend I know, anyway. Also, you can’t guilt a man into sleeping with you. You can trust me on this, as I am a man myself.” Beck leaned back in the chair with his hands behind his head. The chair groaned under the weight and I had a moment of worry thinking it was going to collapse underneath him, but it didn’t. That was some amazing craftsmanship.
“What do you mean?” I really wasn’t following what Beck was saying. Maybe he didn’t understand, or I hadn’t explained it properly. “I was a mess, I came onto him really hard. I didn’t really give him much of a choice.”
“Bullshit. You gave him an opening.”
I still didn’t understand. Beck’s words weren’t making sense. I wanted to ask him what he meant by that but two things happened then. One, my phone dinged with a text message from Gabe.
I waited long enough. You didn’t call me. Get down to the office, Dino has news and it’s important.
At the same time that I was being summoned by the devil himself, Regina decided that once again, food was the enemy and made it to the kitchen garbage before she gagged and threw up all of the pickle chips she had just eaten. There was no way she was going to be able to keep this a secret, but I couldn’t worry anymore about what everyone else was doing. I had to go.
14
Gabe
She was avoiding me like I knew she would. I knew Angel would wake up in the morning angry at herself, and by association, me. I gave her all the space I could this morning, but I made the decision before I took her last night. Before I pulled the covers back in the bed and beckoned for her to get in, that I was going to keep her. Whatever shit we had to work through, we would. I wasn’t going to lie to myself anymore, though. Angel was important to me, and after having the one taste of her, I knew I couldn’t let her go.
Mine.
That was what I thought when I got dressed for the office that morning and looked at her sleeping, tangled up in my sheets and comforter.
Mine.
Mine to keep and protect. Mine to love. Because I did. And maybe it wasn’t the same feelings I had for her when we were younger, but that was okay. A lot of time had passed, and we were as good as strangers now, but I wanted to know everything there was to know about her and I was willing to do some nefarious shit to do it. I would give her a little space, but I wouldn’t let her run. Especially not when some drugged out psycho with a sick fixation was trying to hurt her. No fucking way. I would leave him a greasy smear on the concrete before I let that fucker get near her again.
I called a meeting to talk about the intel Dino had brought me, but if Angel didn’t walk her happy ass in here shortly I was going to be forced to go find her. I had been pretty patient with her today, but she did not want me to have to go looking for her. I gave her space this morning, but now was the time for following instructions, her safety depended on it.
I was about ready to text her again when she opened the waiting area door and my breath caught in my throat. Jesus, God, she was a stunner. I don’t know if it was because I had just acknowledged my personal feelings that made me see her differently, or because I had tasted what was under those clothes, but she looked like seduction in denim as she walked in the door.
She also had an attitude.
I could take my time drinking her in. The way her jeans clung to her full hips and ass, and the heavy swell of her breasts as they pulled against the v neck of her faded red t-shirt. I could stare all I wanted because she was doing a really good job of not making eye contact with me, looking everywhere but in my corner of the room as she stood there fidgeting.
Fine. There was too much open space here anyway. Let’s make the room smaller then, shall we?
“Thank you for finally gracing us with your presence, Angel, we have a lot to go over. Everyone in my office, please.” I opened the door to my office and waited to shut the door until they filed inside. I sat at my desk. There were several chairs and a couch in my office, Angel and Jeannette chose to sit in those, while Dino lounged on the leather sofa in the corner. Everyone else looked at me, waiting for me to share whatever info I had. Angel was still looking at the floor.
“Angel, look at me,” I commanded. Startled by the intensity in my voice, she looked up and met my gaze. “Don’t overthink it.” That was all I was going to say on the matter, with all the ears in the room. She didn’t say anything, but at least she wasn’t looking at the walls and the floor anymore. That was good, because I needed her to pay attention to the shit that was going to happen next.
“Dino has some news to share with the group. Go ahead, Dino.” Dino sat up from his lounging position on the sofa and waited until he had the attention of all three of us before he spoke.
“Bernard Hopper, or Tweak, as everyone calls him, is no longer in the employ of Chaz Malone. Hasn’t been, as a matter of fact, since Gabe picked Angel up in Detroit. Chaz got wind of Bernard getting handsy with Angel at the warehouse and cut him loose. Said if he couldn’t trust his employees with his merchandise then he had no need of them.”
I ground my teeth in anger over Dino’s words. I kind of assumed that was what had happened, but hearing out loud that he had touched her without her permission made me want to strangle the shit out of that little creep.
“That’s kind of a problem for you, though,” Dino continued. “Now he’s out on the prowl and he seems fixated on your girl, Gabe. The problem is, there is no one to keep him in line anymore. He doesn’t answer to Chaz. He doesn’t answer to anybody.”
Angel’s face lost all color as Dino was speaking. She didn’t say a word, but her knuckles turned white as she gripped her legs to keep her hands from shaking, I was sure. She didn’t need to be scared. I would take care of her. I wouldn’t let shit happen to her. But then Dino shocked us all when he continued.
“I can’t help you out with this anymore, G. Chaz, he knows we have a connection, you and me. Now, right now, he thinks it’s because I’m a hired thug and you have a lot of money. He thinks we had a previous business relationship, and I’d like to keep it that way. I have my own agenda right now, and I need to focus on it. I can’t be seen escorting your princess around the city. You are going to have to find someone else to be her bodyguard.”
“You don’t have to say it like that, you asshole.” I was surprised at the heat in Jeannette’s voice as she rounded on Dino. Angel even looked a little taken aback at how angry Jeanette became at his words. “I get that you have some other secret shit going on, and that’s fine. You are your own man and no one is telling you what to do. But don’t you fucking dare make light of the fact that someone is trying to hurt her. She needs protecting. It doesn’t make her weak, or a princess. It makes her a target, and fuck you for thinking that is no big deal.” Jeannette’s eyes blazed green behind the lenses of her glasses, and her fury was displayed in the red of her cheeks and the flush creeping up her neck. I knew where it was coming from, this anger, and it had nothing to do
with Dino. It had nothing to do with Angel, even.
“It’s okay.” Angel surprised me by being the next to speak up. “It’s okay, everyone. I’m sorry for being such a mess. I used to think that I was a pretty well-adjusted adult. But I have zero control in all of this and it is really fucking with my mind. I don’t need Dino to protect me, but I do thank you for helping in the beginning. Even if you did help kidnap me, sort of.”
Angel continued. “Jeannette, thank you for defending me, it’s sweet but unnecessary. Even though I was kind of a bitch to you at first, I appreciate you going to bat for me. But guys, I can’t live like this. He took me by surprise last time because I wasn’t prepared. I’m not so weak that I can’t defend myself. I just didn’t know that I would need to is all.”
“We never know when we will need to, Angel.” I meant those words. I’d learned that in my previous line of work. You never know when someone is going to try to take you out, so live every day like someone is going to try anyway. Always be prepared. That way of thinking had saved my life more than once. Angel was going to learn it now. “I don’t want you going anywhere alone. So if you need to leave, you call someone to go with you. It can be me, a friend, or even those crazy ladies downstairs, I don’t care. I just don’t want you to be alone. Ever. Got it?”
“Can I sleep alone, boss?” she asked, sarcasm dripping from every word. I’m sure she had no clue that what she just said had any other meaning than literal, but her words shot straight to my dick all the same.
“We can talk about that later, in private.” It was a warning, and if I could judge by her quick intake of breath, I would bet she understood my meaning just fine.
“She can call me,” Jeannette added softly. “I wouldn’t mind keeping you company, Angel. I mean, if you wanted to hang out sometime. Even if just like, as friends, not as a bodyguard.”
That was a lot coming from Jeannette. No one else in the room besides me would even know how much those words had cost her. Jeannette didn’t have friends. She didn’t trust anyone. Well, anyone but me, but that was because I knew her secret. That she was reaching out to Angel this way meant she cared. I don’t know why that made my chest tight, but it did.
Angel’s smile was breathtaking, like the sun coming out from behind the clouds on a gloomy fucking day. “Thank you, Jeannette. I wouldn’t mind that at all, I just don’t want people feeling like they have to take care of me all the time. I can handle myself.” No, she very well could not handle herself, as was shown by the events of the past weeks, but that was okay if she wanted to think that. We still had our own talking to do.
“I’m going to go ahead and call this meeting to a close. Dino, I know you can’t show up, but please still let me know if any other intel comes up.” He didn’t say anything, just nodded and headed out the door, throwing Jeannette a wink on the way out. It infuriated her, I think that’s why he did it. “Jeannette, go ahead and head home for the day. Angel and I still have some things to wrap up here before I cut her loose. There might be yelling. You don’t want to be around for that.”
“Hey—” Angel started to protest but I cut her off with a look. We were going to have it out whether she wanted to or not. We needed to lay some things out on the table, her and me.
“You got it, Boss,” Jeannette said as she hurried out the door. She mouthed a quick, “good luck” at Angel before she shut the door behind her. I counted thirty seconds before I heard the heavy outer lobby door shut and the thick lock click in place. Good girl, Jeannette, I thought to myself as I stood up and walked around the front of the desk. No interruptions.
There were a couple of ways I could handle this, I supposed, but blunt and direct had always worked the best for me, so I walked past the chair where Angel was sitting and sat down on the sofa. I patted the space next to me, and with all the authority I could put into my voice I said,
“Come here, Angel.”
15
Angel
Come here, Angel.”
Normally I hate people telling me what to do and immediately do the opposite just to piss them off. There was something dangerous about his voice that touched me in places words usually didn’t, though, and before I even knew what was happening, my feet were moving across the office and taking me directly to where he sat on the black leather sofa.
He’d taken off his suit jacket at some point, and now wore just his dark navy dress slacks and a crisp white button-down dress shirt with the top button undone. He looked relaxed, with his legs stretched out in front of him, like he didn’t have a care in the world. Why then, did I feel like I was a lamb being led to slaughter? My legs were shaking and I was pretty sure my hands would be too if I weren’t clasping them together in front of me. What was he doing?
“Sit,” Gabe patted the seat cushion next to him. “Let’s talk.” I just continued to gawk at him, and when I made no move to get closer and join him he sighed, and leaning forward held his hands out, palm up. “Please,” he added softly. Even though it was still a command and not a request, I couldn’t deny him.
I sat because he wanted me to, but I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to hear him say that he was sorry for what we did. I didn’t want to hear him condemn me and say we never should have slept together, even though I agreed. I didn’t want him to say the words so I would say them first.
“I’m sorry about last night, Gabe, I never should have slept with you.” I thought getting it out first would be less painful. I thought that me being the one to take it back would make things easier on Gabe, and me, as well, but what the hell did I know? Gabe didn’t look relieved, he looked pissed the fuck off.
“I’m not.” Gabe’s brows drew together in an angry v and his mouth formed a tight line of distemper. “And I think it’s shitty that you can sit there and say that to me.”
Um, what?
“I asked you to stay after everyone left because I knew you would be overthinking this. I knew you would have yourself worked up into a tizzy because of some preconceived notion about what I was thinking, about how I was feeling. But you know what? You are wrong. You have no idea how I feel.” Gone was his deceptively relaxed position, now he was sitting straight up, ready to lecture me. His anger was a palpable thing, and I found myself shrinking back on the couch, trying to make myself smaller to avoid the backlash. This conversation was not going how I thought it would. I was out of my depth.
“What do you want from me?” I exclaimed, jumping up from the couch and running my fingers through my hair. I felt better not being pinned down in a seated position. I had more control on my feet. Of my body, of my words. But then he got up too and stood even closer to me than when we were sitting, and any thought I had of gaining control of the conversation went away in a puff of smoke. Hot damn, Gabe was an intimidating man. Nothing like the boy I had been friends with years ago.
“I want you to stop making this difficult,” Gabe thundered. “I want you to stop acting like you know my mind. I want you to stop acting like you know what I am thinking, and for fuck’s sake, I want you to never again say that last night was a mistake and that you shouldn’t have slept with me.” He was yelling now, and he had been correct earlier. I was glad that Jeannette was not around to hear this.
“It hurts me,” he continued, “to hear you say that being with me was a mistake. To take what happened between us and make it inconsequential, like it is something you can just forget. I don’t want to forget it, and I would never say something like that to you. Not only do I not want to forget it, but I want to do it again. But you say you are sorry? I don’t want to hear that from you. I don’t want your regret.”
Oh. Oh, no. This wasn’t right at all.
“Are you punishing me, Angel? Is that it? Are you punishing me now for some shit that happened when we were teenagers, because that is some bullshit if it’s true. I’m not a seventeen-year-old kid anymore. And you aren’t that girl I knew back then, either. We are two completely different grown ass adults, who should kn
ow their own minds. I know mine. Do you know yours?”
Fuck this guy for trying to pin me down like he knew where I was coming from. So what if most of the things he was saying were true, it grated my nerves that he could nail me down like that when I had clearly been wrong about him. I was furious, and I lashed back out at Gabe with my own words.
“You had no idea about me back then either, Gabriel Anderson,” I screamed, shocking even myself at the loudness of my voice. “You don’t know how I felt, or what was important to me. We may have been kids, and it may be stupid now, but it felt big back then. Feelings aren’t right or wrong—they just are. They just are, Gabe.” I was panting from the exertion of screaming out the words I had kept inside for so long. And yet, I still couldn’t share everything. I couldn’t tell him what had happened. I would never tell him. But I was telling him in my awkward tirade that something had happened, and it had affected me for so long. I spewed the angry words out into the air, and when they were gone, I felt emotionally drained, spent.
“How will I know if you don’t tell me? How would I have known even then, if you didn’t tell me?” Gabe was calm now, serious as he put his hand on my arm, keeping me from pacing around, demanding I answer his question.
“I was never going to tell you.” I still didn’t plan on it. Fifteen years later, I doubt some words would properly explain it, anyway. Things that cut like a knife when you are an emotional teenager are something that would only be a dull ache as an adult. There was just no proper way to translate, so why try?
“Then forget about it.” Gabe shrugged his shoulders and stepped back.
“What do you mean, forget about it?” That was some ludicrous nonsense he was spouting.
“If you aren’t going to tell me, and you acknowledge that we are two different people now, what is there to dwell on?” I didn’t even know how to respond to that, which was fine because Gabe kept talking.
Gabe (Glass City Hearts Book 1) Page 10