by Nancy DeRosa
With tears in her eyes the woman replied, “I hope you’re right. My name is Charlotte, what’s yours?”
“I’m Penny and I’m delighted to make your acquaintance.”
“Likewise.”
Nurse Reins butted in to ask Charlotte if she were comfortable. Reins had a funny expression. It was ambiguous: could be pleased, could be hateful. It was impossible to tell.
As they finished with Charlotte, Nurse Reins said abruptly, “I want to observe you setting up an IV with the next patient. And just a piece of advice, I wouldn’t get too personal with the patients from the get-go either.” Penny felt her stomach clench tighter.
Their next patient was a weary older man lying listlessly on the bed. His chart revealed that he had been admitted with acute stomach pain. Then there was the colon cancer: he’d just had half of his colon taken out three months prior. She smiled at the man but he didn’t smile back. He looked grumpy, and fed up with life.
Penny sensed Nurse Reins’ eyes boring down on her. “Please proceed,” Nurse Reins instructed rather sharply.
Looking at the patient’s chart, Penny patted the man’s arm and said brightly, “Hello sir, we’re just going to insert a little IV in you today to administer pain medication.”
The man turned to face the wall. “You’re going to run a little IV? Lady, do you think you’re talking to a two year old? Since when do they make miniature versions of those horrid things? What you are doing is dosing me up with morphine.”
Fearfully, Penny looked at Reins. The old abatross looked back at Penny with her arms folded across her chest. Great, Penny thought, this isn’t going well at all.
She tried to laugh lightly. “You’re right sir, bad description and I’m sorry. You’re not feeling well and the last thing you want to hear is me trying to make light of something.”
The old man didn’t answer. With slightly trembling hands, Penny began to perform a procedure that she hadn’t attempted in almost twenty years. The first attempt at inserting the needle in the vein on the top of the man’s left hand was not successful. Neither was the second one. The beads of sweat forming across her brow threatened to drip off onto the man’s arm. Panic began to grip her and she had to stop for a moment to get her bearings. She found herself pleading silently: Don’t blow this, Penny. Please, please, please, don’t mess this up.
The third attempt was successful and she sighed with relief.
Stepping back, she tried to appear as if she were calm and in control. She patted the man’s hand. “There, there. That wasn’t so bad now was it?”
He glared at her. “There you go again talking to me in that baby talk. Stop it.”
Smiling sheepishly, Penny shrugged. She knew she had messed up again.
A nurse poked her head in the room and asked Nurse Reins to step out in the hallway. To Penny’s enormous relief, Reins stepped out to talk to the nurse. But now she was alone with the patient, with no idea what to say.
She needn’t have worried, though: he had plenty to say. “By the way,” he began, breaking the uncomfortable silence, “let me be the one to tell you that you suck at putting in IVs. Shit lady, it hurt like hell. You’re lucky I didn’t scream out from the pain.” He pointed his finger at Penny and added, “I saved your ass because I knew that old bat was watching your every move.” His face didn’t look so grumpy anymore, just sad and tired. “I do have a heart you know. Maybe it’s a little hard and crusty… or should I say rusty. It’s been quite a while since I’ve attempted to help a person out.”
Penny’s face broke out in a huge grin, and he smiled in return. She was amazed at how much his smile transformed his face. His eyes became brighter and his features softened.
“You have great teeth,” she said without thinking.
“Thank-you,” he replied as they continued to grin at each other like fools.
“We’re done for the day now Ms Marins,” Nurse Reins said, breaking into the moment. Penny didn’t know how long she had been standing there. “I will give my assessment to Dr Kittles and he will notify you on our decision in a few days. I do not need you to come in tomorrow for more observations.”
Watching Nurse Reins abruptly walk out into the hallway, Penny realized she had not said goodbye. Not a good sign. The chances of her getting this job seemed pretty slim. Nurse Reins didn’t appear to be impressed. She thought of her family and realized Nurse Reins should join the club. A deep sadness gripped her so suddenly that she had to fight back tears.
“Don’t pay any attention to that witch,” the old man said. “I’ve been on this floor one time too many and I’ve never even seen her crack a smile. Even I can do that once in a while.”
“Well you should be smiling all the time with those pearly whites. I wish I had teeth like yours.”
“Stop trying to cheer me up lady, because maybe you’re being successful.”
Smiling, she bid him goodbye. The time had come to head home, hug her pets, and hope for the best. It was her only choice.
Chapter 13
The day after her nerve-wracking experience at Wayside, her mother called. Penny didn’t offer much information. She was perched in the living room with a bowl of tomato soup sprinkled with gold fish crackers. It was the first time she’d felt just a tad relaxed; but the peace was now over.
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” Dolores’ judgmental voice crackled down the phone at her.
“I absolutely do.” Winston jumped up onto the couch and Penny carefully placed the soup on the coffee table.
Her voice rising an octave higher, Dolores countered, “Do you think you’re going to meet some handsome doctor who will take you away into the sunset?” She huffed. “Let me tell you something, things like that don’t happen in real life. Doctors may have affairs with the nurses but they rarely marry them.”
“Are you for real?” Yanking the phone away from her ear, she felt her stomach tying up in knots like a pretzel. She felt her chest tightening as she retorted, “I’m really insulted Mom that you think so poorly of nurses.” Drawing in a deep breath, she decided that she wouldn’t respond anymore to her mother’s idiotic declarations. She remembered Aunt Bess’ advice; step out of your mother’s space, don’t let her suck the air of you.
Unfortunately, Dolores’ tirade was still in full flow. “Listen Penny, your father and I have noticed how secretive and distant you’ve been lately. We can put two and two together. We know how hard it’s been for you to meet a man and all, but giving up your career is a huge mistake. Women at your age have a hard time meeting men and you need to face that. Maybe you should start learning how to accept your life, make the best of it and appreciate what you have.”
Swallowing hard, Penny tried to speak as calmly as possible. Unconsciously she dug her fingernails into the couch fabric. “Mom, I never had a career at Fernfair, what I had was a job. I’m so tired of greasy-haired Mr Adams and Sarah Bentley being the only people I interact with.”
“Who is Sarah Bentley? What are you talking about?” Dolores asked in exasperation.
“Look, just forget it, and listen, can you do me a favor? Unless you have something nice to say don’t call me. I need to keep positive energy around me.”
“Oh stop with that nonsense Penny. You’re watching too much Dr Phil.”
The anger welled up inside her, and she snapped, “I think you need his advice more than I do. I’m tired of being kicked down by your well positioned foot.”
“Well, I’m sorry you feel that way, but your dad and I can’t help the way we feel. Working in a hospital is no picnic, I have news for you. You’re going to have a rude awakening Penny. You don’t know how easy you have it.”
Controlling a sudden impulse to scream at the top of her lungs in frustration, she decided to break away from Dolores. “I have to go, see you.” Abruptly saying goodbye, and before she could change her mind, Penny hung up the phone.
Sitting on the couch holding Winston in her lap, she began to feel
hollow. She nuzzled Winston’s neck. The little beagle in turn gave Penny a lick on the nose. “I have to stand up for myself Winston,” she declared. “I don’t have to take shit from people just because they’ve decided that shit is what they’re offering.” Winston wagged his tail.
She had seen how a touch of her hand could change anger into something better; how a smile could spread all over a grumpy man’s face and instantly transform it so it radiated with warmth and kindness. She had realized how empowering it felt to drop boring Sarah Bentley like a ton of bricks. The fire inside of her was now becoming a steady surge of heat and before she shut her eyes to go to sleep that night, a thought popped into her head: some mindblowing sex would be a great thing to have too.
Chapter 14
At least she still had her job at the school: she’d called in sick for her day at Wayside. It wouldn’t have made sense to leave for real, until she knew she’d landed the position at the hospital. She was glad of that now: the way Nurse Reins had abruptly dismissed her, it seemed highly unlikely that she would be hired.
She clattered into the school corridor, distracted by this new creeping doubt about her future at Wayside. She almost tripped over the foot of Mr Barnes, the flaxen-haired Geography teacher, when he stepped out from an alcove to meet her. He looked agitated as he placed his hand on her forearm. Looking up at his face, she discovered that his eyes were flicking nervously back and forth.
“How are you feeling?” he asked. His voice was hushed, as if he were afraid someone would overhear what he was about to say.
“I’m on the mend,” Penny replied, feeling a little shame wash over her. She hated to lie to someone’s face and she had never done it well.
“May I speak to you in private please?” he whispered.
Penny shrugged, and they both walked to the end of the hallway.
“So, what’s going on Mr Barnes?” She was already beginning to feel uneasy. Whatever it was that Mr Barnes was about to disclose, she would rather not be privy to it, given the choice.
He cleared his throat, then said in a nervous whisper that echoed down the hall: “I have lice.”
“Lice, are you sure?” Involuntarily she took a quick step back.
“Of course I’m sure. And don’t tell me about the medication that you’re supposed to use. I know all about that.” He put his hands up in disgust, “I’ve used it three times already and I’ve washed every damn sheet and article in my house twice.” His voice rose in panic. “They just keep coming back. Michael and I have had them for three weeks now and we can’t get rid of the dreadful things.”
“Michael?”
“Yes Michael,” he answered impatiently. “He’s a friend that lives with me.”
“Oh.” Having mental picture of Mr Barnes and Michael eating breakfast together, as a multitude of joyful lice jumped back and forth from one head to the other, gave her the creeps.
Mr Barnes did not seem to notice or care what Penny was thinking. He was fixated on finding a solution. “You have to help me. What should I do?” He glanced behind him to make sure no-one was listening.
An awful thought had been circling inside her head; she allowed it to surface now. As the school nurse she knew she had to address it. “Mr Barnes, are you aware how contagious lice are?”
He looked at her like she had just grown an extra head. “You’re kidding me right?”
Clasping her hands together, she forged ahead. “I’m surprised that you would come to school every day for three whole weeks with lice burrowing in your hair, Mr Barnes. You’re exposing the whole building to those horrid pests and that’s not being a responsible teacher.”
His eyes narrowed. “We’re not talking about leprosy or the Bubonic Plague here Ms Marins. Let’s not make this bigger than it is. I came to you for help.”
She looked him square in the eye. “I’m happy to help you, but I’m also the school nurse, and first and foremost, I must protect the children. I will be more than happy to help you with this problem but until it is resolved you must vacate the premises.” She shook her head slowly. “It could be too late and we may already have an outbreak on our hands. I really am surprised that you didn’t come to me sooner with this problem, or at the very least called your doctor. Three weeks is a long time.”
The geography teacher’s face screwed up to the point where his nose almost disappeared. He replied between clenched teeth, “Get past this, Ms Marins. I think you may be watching too many episodes of CSI.”
Lowering her voice, she replied, “Let me assure you that if you don’t go home now and take care of the lice that are living on your head, I will immediately notify Mr Adams of this little problem.”
Eyes narrowed like a vulture, he wagged his finger at her face. He hissed, “You’re a little bitch, you know that?”
“And you’re a shit.”
“Why don’t you just go screw yourself?” He shouted, his face turning beet red.
It was too much for Penny, she could not handle another person attacking her. “Why don’t you just go screw your friend Michael,” she declared with her hands on her hips.
“You jealous?”
“How many kids have to fall asleep in your class for you to take the hint? You’re boring.” She felt a sense of pride with that comeback.
There were people standing in the hallway. To her dismay, a growing crowd of parents were watching this exchange with wide eyes and open mouths. Their children were right there, edging closer to their mothers.
Gulping back another nasty reply, Penny smiled and said, “Thanks for telling me about that Mr Barnes, I’ll catch up with you later.”
She clattered down the corridor to the safe confines of her office. She was so shaken that she quickly closed her door and leaned against it to gain her composure. I can’t believe that crazy thing just happened, she thought, still in shock. She put a hand on her forehead and leaned hard against the door. My life is falling apart, I’m probably having a nervous breakdown, nothing makes sense any longer, she thought. What just took place was like an episode from the Twilight Zone. A vision of Mr Barnes’ face, red and puffy like a saucepan of mashed carrots, lunged through the darkness in her mind. She had always thought of him as a mild mannered person. She believed that if he could have gotten away with it, he would have knocked her down and stepped on her. And there it was: she could never really know a person until something funky occurs and then their character can pop out just like a psycho Jack-in-the-Box.
With an uneasy feeling, she realized she had to inform Mr Adams of Mr Barnes’ lice problem and the awful behavior toward her. She decided she would try her hardest not to dig too deep a grave for the man, even though he deserved to be fed to the dogs.
Chapter 15
The rollercoaster hit an uphill curve: two hours after the altercation with Mr Barnes, she found out that she was wanted for the position of nurse on the Oncology floor at Wayside.
She didn’t know which disclosure shocked him more; the potential lice outbreak, or the fact that she had to come back to his office to give her two weeks’ notice. It was of no concern to Penny any longer. She was thrilled that she was leaving Fernfair. She didn’t want to waste time figuring out Mr Adams’ reaction.
Next she had to break the news to her family. Obviously they would be thrilled to bits and overflowing with compliments... okay, so she took the cowardly way out and called her brother Louis. She knew how quickly the news would travel.
Feeling on top of the world, she was en route home with her arms filled with grocery bags when her cell phone burst into a rendition of Beyonce’s Irresistible. Cursing, she barely managed to retrieve it from her pocketbook. She answered with a rather cross, “Hello!”
“Mom is really pissed,” Steve said with a low whistle. “Boy, you really did it this time.”
She stopped in mid-stride. “Really Steve, what did I do?”
Steve chuckled, “You’re bucking her, that’s what. She’s not used to it. I hope you kno
w what you’re doing.”
She felt the fury ignite through her like a forest fire. She dropped her parcels on the front stoop. Holding the doorkey firmly she said calmly, “The choices I’ve made so far in my life aren’t working for me Steve. I don’t have a partner, a family, or any friends come to think of it.” Her voice was shaking. “While you’re out on a Saturday night with your wife having fun, I’m home eating frozen tortellini smothered in jar sauce while Winston and Bob sit beside me watching TV. This is the first time in my life that I’ve done something that does makes sense.”
“Penny,” Steve pleaded, “Look I’m just saying…”
She broke in with barely controlled anger, “Dolores has made me feel like I have no chance in hell of having a normal life. I deserve what every other person that struggles through each day has, what you have.” Her voice broke. She swallowed hard as she continued, “A little bit of joy and happiness once in a damn while isn’t too much to ask. Dolores has been spoonfeeding me inferiority since infancy.”
He sighed. “Penny, I’m so sorry.”
“Right.” She bent down and picked up her bags. She singsonged at him: “Poor Penny, if only she had friends, if only she had a boyfriend, oh, if only Penny had a life.”
“No, no,” he protested, “you’ve got it all wrong. I’m sorry because I should have known you were this unhappy a long time ago and I’m ashamed. I was just watching out for myself.”
Stumbling into her apartment in tears, she threw the bags on the kitchen counter, flipped the cell phone off, sat down and covered her face in her hands.
“What’s wrong with me?” she sobbed out loud, “Why am I so mad?” She sat at the kitchen table and continued to sob loudly. Bob and Winston sat close, bewildered, heads tilted.