by Ruby Dixon
“I think perhaps her mother needs to keep holding her,” Vektal says. “My temper is fine.”
Shorshie shoots him an angry look as well and then turns back to me, still holding her daughter close. “You haven’t broken a rule, only because it’s not something anyone ever thought would come up. That’d be like us having rules for not murdering, or stealing children. It is shit you do not do.” She punctuates each word with angry enunciation, patting her infant daughter’s back as she does. “I just…I just can’t believe you, Bek. I really can’t.”
“My mate and I will discuss punishment,” Vektal tells me in a sour voice. His other daughter, Talie, rushes up to his legs and holds out a piece of leather to show to him. He absently picks her up, pulling her against his side, and she begins to braid his hair with the leather. “I do not know what we can do that will make you understand the severity of your actions, but do not think you will get away with this.”
I nod slowly, expecting this. “Of course, my chief. I am prepared for whatever you decide.”
Shorshie does not look pleased, though. Perhaps because the last few times that Vektal disciplined tribesmates, it ended up not being as harsh as it could have been. She tilts her head and studies me. “I have to ask. You got five women, right?”
“Yes.”
“And did you resonate to any of them?”
I see where she is going with this, and I scowl. “Not yet.”
“Good.” The vehemence in her tone surprises me. Shorshie has always been pleasant. “I hope you don’t resonate at all, because that’s the worst punishment I can imagine for you—to know that you stole women and then you have to give them to everyone else.”
My jaw clenches. I say nothing, because she is not wrong. If none of the females here resonate to me—ever—it will be the worst possible thing I can endure. She knows how badly I want this, and her words cut like a knife. I have been burying my disappointment so far, but it is difficult to see the females standing in front of me and know my khui wants none of them. Once again, I worry I will be left with nothing while the others around me celebrate their happiness.
Shorshie gives me a tight smile, as if she knows her words have found their mark. “If you’ll excuse me, I have some human women to welcome to Croatoan.” And she marches away with Vekka in her arms, her back straight.
I watch her go and then turn to Vektal. Even he seems surprised at his mate’s vicious words, a rueful smile on his face. “She is protective of her people, my mate.”
I grunt.
“I would ask that you stay away from the females until they are settled in. You being around them will upset the other humans, because they will think that we approve of you stealing females.”
He is not wrong…but I do not want to stay away, either. How can I resonate to one if I am hiding away on the hunting trails? Even though it pains me to think it, I also feel protective of the small, filthy one. She has been abused under my watch, and I should be there to guard her and ensure she remains safe until she resonates to a male that will protect her. “They will need khuis very soon,” I tell him. “They do not handle the cold well.”
“I know this,” he grits out, his voice dangerous even as his daughter plaits his hair from her perch in his arms, oblivious to her father’s mood. “It will be soon.”
“I am a good hunter. You will need me with you.”
“We will take all of the unmated males with us on the sa-kohtsk hunt. We have no choice, thanks to you. The more I hide them away, the more tension it will create. Better to see who they resonate to and handle it as it happens.” He shakes his head.
“Stop moving, Papa,” Talie tells him in a piping voice, putting a small hand to his cheek. “I am making your hair pretty.”
“Apologies, little one.” He goes still and just glares at me while his daughter begins her braiding again.
And I am filled with a keen, bitter yearning at the sight. That Vektal, who is such a fierce hunter, has a little daughter to hold close, a daughter that is the same deep blue as him, has the same eyes and her mother’s strange curly hair. I want daughters. I want sons. I want a mate.
I want a family. I am so tired of being alone.
“I know you are angry,” I tell him, clenching my fists at my side so I do not speak loud enough to scare Talie. “But there is nothing I want more than what you have. I want a mate and kits at my own hearth. I—”
“I understand,” Vektal interrupts.
He does not. He will never understand. “You do not,” I say fiercely. “You mated the first human female you saw. And then Pashov mated, and Zennek, and Raahosh, and everyone else. And then more females came, and again, I watched others get their heart’s desire and received nothing for myself. So until you know what it is like to watch female after female mate to other hunters while you are alone, you do not understand.”
Vektal just shakes his head at me, pity in his eyes. “And it might be happening all over again.”
The sick clench in my gut tells me he is right. Once again, others will get their mates while I stand to the side, watching.
Alone.
ELLY
“I know it’s cold,” Georgie says briskly, setting her daughter down on the stone floor. “But I promise you it gets better over time. And when you get your cootie, you won’t even notice the cold.” She pauses, thinking. “Much.”
I take the thick fur she hands me and wrap it tight around my shivering body. It doesn’t feel as if it’s making much of a difference, so I move back closer to the roaring fire.
The other four women and I are in a stone hut in the strange little village that these people live in. When I’d heard the word ‘hut’ I’d expected something extremely primitive and made with mud. This isn’t quite that, but it’s not exactly a Ritz, either. The walls are made of stone, the ceiling something like a teepee to let the smoke from the fire out. The interior’s bigger than I imagined, about the size of an Earth bedroom, and the floor is stone. There’s a nook with a toilet, a long bar along the back wall that serves as a counter, and beds of furs on the floors. It actually isn’t all that bad. Considering I’ve lived in cages for the last several years, I like it. The air is fresh, and I can stand completely upright, so I’m happy.
The others aren’t quite as happy as me. There are still some tears and lots of worry, no matter how much Georgie and the other females reassure us that we’re safe and no one’s going to own us. I can tell Gail is skeptical, especially because every woman that comes in has a blue baby in her arms.
It’s not something you accept right away.
One of the women says her name is Stacy, and she sets up a little tripod over our fire and begins to add chopped vegetables and meat to a hanging pouch. A waterskin is passed around, and everyone drinks thirstily—except me, because I don’t know these people. I don’t trust them not to drug the water. I’ll wait and see how the others react to it. As Stacy fixes the stew, Georgie keeps handing us furs, and another woman by the name of Kira sits with us and tells us what she can about this place.
The story of how these humans got here is awfully familiar. The stories of the small green aliens that stole them from their beds, waking up to find your world is gone and you’re now someone’s property—it’s like what happened to me. Except these women were adults when they were taken, and I was thirteen. These women were left behind on this planet instead of sent off to the slave markets. We weren’t quite so lucky.
Kira’s calm voice is soothing as Georgie laces a tunic over Summer’s dainty form. She tells us about being rescued by the sa-khui—the big blue guys—and how their ancestors were stranded here many, many generations ago. They have lived here happily despite the cold, and continue to do so despite an offer to return to their homeworld. The humans elected to stay with them, happy with their mates and families.
“What about home?” Kate asks. “Can we go home?”
“The only ship capable of going back to Earth is the one you came he
re on,” Kira explains, her small daughter sitting in her lap. The child watches us with big eyes, as quiet and thoughtful as her mother. “I’m afraid that we’re hunter-gatherers here, with very little technology like you’re used to in the past. No television, no phones, no internet, not even running water.”
“Oh lord,” Gail says, shaking her head. “And you guys are happy here?”
Kira shrugs. “We weren’t given much of a choice in the beginning, just like you, but we came to love it here. The sa-khui are wonderful people.” She thinks for a moment and then adds, “I know it’s hard to believe, considering Bek’s actions, but we’re all very upset at him.”
“Don’t forget Vaza,” Georgie calls out, handing Summer a boot. “He’s not getting off scot-free either.”
“But the ship,” Kate persists, leaning forward. “The ship can come back and get us, right? Take us back to Earth? What if we offer to pay them?”
“Earth isn’t considered an ‘allowed’ planet,” Kira says gently. “No one will go there. Even if the ship came to get you, they’d just turn you over to the nearest alien authority. That’s one reason why none of us wanted to leave—we couldn’t guarantee we’d ever see our families again. Humans are forbidden because our planet is considered too primitive by most alien cultures.”
“But, but, but,” Kate protests, and gestures at the stone walls of the hut. “What do you call this?”
Kira gives her a faint, sad smile. “Generations of survivors doing their best with what they’ve got.”
“I want to go home,” Brooke says. “Can’t you make them understand that? We don’t want to be here.”
“Unless Bek has a deal with The Tranquil Lady that I don’t know about, I doubt they’re coming back. I’m afraid you’re going to be with us.”
Summer sniffs, and Brooke starts weeping into Gail’s fur-covered shoulder. The other women look awkward, and Stacy grabs a stack of small bowls and starts ladling food out. “You girls need to eat something. You’ll feel better with a full stomach.”
Bowls are passed around, and Stacy hands one to me. I shrink back and turn my head away, declining it. I’m hungry, but I’ve been served bad things from a smiling face before. I need to trust before I can relax enough to eat.
She looks surprised at my refusal and glances over at Georgie.
Georgie shrugs. “Give her time.”
“Well, we should probably tell you guys everything, because I don’t want anyone to be surprised,” Kira continues. She smooths her daughter’s hair away from her small face and smiles down at her.
“Your daughter’s cute,” Gail says, smiling at the little girl. “Her daddy’s clearly one of the blue guys.”
Kira nods. “My mate is Aehako, and we resonated.”
“Is that why your eyes are glowing blue?” Gail asks. “Because of this ‘resonance’ thing?”
“Yes and no. The blue is because of the khui and all of the things that it does for us.” The expression on Kira’s face is serious as she continues. “You might not like what I have to say about it, but you deserve to know everything.” She glances at Georgie and Stacy and then continues. “Every living thing on this planet has what is called a ‘khui.’ It’s a symbiont that enables you to survive…”
Hours later, most of the women have left. Kira and her small daughter have stayed behind, camping out with us, I think to give a sense of comfort. Of trust. She seems nice, but I cannot unlock my worries enough to be friendly to her. To anyone.
The others sleep peacefully, someone snoring gently. The hut’s warm and comfortable enough, though there’s a chill in the rock floor that won’t go away no matter how many layers of fur I pile on top of me. The bedding is nice, too. If these people are sincere, this won’t be so bad…
But I can’t trust yet. I can’t trust that I won’t wake up and find myself in a small, horrible cage again, surrounded by wild animals and prodded with sticks because I’m a strange ‘creature’ to an alien culture.
I can’t sleep, either. I’m too busy thinking about everything we’ve been told.
This planet has no spring, no summer. There are two seasons—a bitter and a brutal. One where the snow is mild, and one where the snow is gut-wrenchingly awful and the cold is horrendous…and that’s the one that’s coming up.
Everyone here has a parasite that’s both good and bad. It’s what makes their eyes glow and keeps their bodies healthy, and we’re going to get one in a few days. I don’t like the thought, but no one asked me.
I like what the parasite does even less. Kira called it a khui, though the others jokingly called it a cootie. And it seems that the cootie also controls reproduction. That means if it decides it likes someone on this planet, I don’t get a say in things. It’ll vibrate in my chest—resonance—and my ‘mate’ will vibrate, too. It’s also going to make us incredibly horny until we give in and have sex, after which I’ll have a baby.
The thought terrifies me. Even though Georgie and the others stress that we’re not slaves here, if I resonate I’ll have a big brutal alien man who will have a say in everything I do, because I’m carrying his baby. It’ll be just like having another owner, but this one is for sure going to want sex. I swallow hard, queasy at the thought, and sit up. The need to escape is hitting me hot and heavy once more, but I know there’s nowhere to go. It’s an ice planet where there’s no warm weather, ever. Leaving without the proper gear would be a death sentence, and I like living. I keep hoping that someday I’m going to have a real home, where I can live on my own terms. Where I can see the sun every day. Where no one will ever put me in a cage or collar me like I’m a dog.
I just have to survive until then.
It occurs to me as I lie in bed that there must be stars here on this planet, though, and I’m hit with an intense wave of longing. I want to see the stars.
Badly.
I crawl to my newly-healed feet, still wearing the borrowed leather clothing and boots I was given. Whatever foot-wraps they gave me on the ship must have had some serious healing power, because they feel new and don’t hurt when I walk. I’ll take it.
I feel the chill in the air the moment I leave my bed, but I won’t be gone long. I just want to gaze up at the stars and see them. I know it’ll make me feel better. So I pick my way through the scatter of beds on the floor. Kira and her little daughter are snuggled up close by the hanging flap they call a door, and she yawns and glances up at me. “Don’t go too far,” she murmurs. “It’s too cold at night.”
I give a little nod to acknowledge her words, stepping under the flap and outdoors.
The cold hits like a punch in the face, but I’m ready for it. I brace myself, shivering, and walk a few crunching steps out over the snow-scattered cobblestones. There’s someone sitting across the way near a fire, and he nods at me but doesn’t get up. Of course we have guards watching us. For all the lip service about us being free, we’re strangers to them and they don’t trust us yet. As long as he leaves me alone, though, I don’t care. I just tilt my head back and gaze up.
God, the stars here are beautiful.
The night sky is a mere sliver thanks to the high walls of the canyon the small city’s located in, but what I can see is a deep, lovely shade of midnight that looks like it’s been sprinkled with glitter, there are so many stars. Some of them are clustered so tight together that they look like reddish clumps, and there are green waving lines in the sky that must be a aurora of some kind. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.
It makes me so happy that I feel tears welling up. Lovely, lovely stars.
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” a soft voice behind me says, and I jerk around, stiff until I see Gail’s small form. She comes to my side, blankets wrapped around her, and gazes up at the sky while standing next to me. “Never seen any stars like that in my life. Wasn’t sure I’d ever see them again after what we’ve been through.”
There’s a knot in my throat that won’t go away, because I know what she means. In so
me of my darkest hours, stuck in a small, stinking cage, I wondered if I’d ever breathe fresh air or see daylight again. The stars feel like a present, just for us.
“You okay?” she asks softly. “I noticed you didn’t eat.”
I shrug, keeping my head tilted back so I can keep gazing up at the beautiful night sky. Maybe after I get my parasite, I’ll sleep under the stars every night. I think I’d like that. Never be caged in again, if these people are to be believed.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Gail says. “Me too. Seems too good to be true that we’re gonna be free and just part of their little happy village.” She’s like me, she doesn’t trust. It doesn’t matter that they greet us with smiles on their faces. Actions are what matter. “But I think,” she continues, “I hope that they’re good people. They seem happy.”
They do. And they’re generous. I don’t even mind the whole no-warm-months thing, not really. But the thought of having a cootie implanted in me that chooses my mate? That scares me. What if he’s…awful? What if he uses his fists to get his point across? I rub my breastbone, thinking of what it’ll feel like if I resonate.
“Yeah, I worry about that, too,” Gail says. “Under all that dirt you love, I know you’re young. Me, I’m fifty. I’m not having any more kids. Had one son and that’s it.”
I look over at her in surprise, because I didn’t know she’d left family behind on Earth.
Her smile is soft, her eyes shiny. “Nah. He’s not waiting on me. Died when he was sixteen in a car accident and broke my heart into a million pieces. Me and his daddy separated after that.” She looks up at the stars. “I’d love more babies, though. Love their voices, their little hands, their sheer joy. The thing that troubles me is that I went through menopause last year. So I’m hoping these aliens are forgiving of something like that, because if they expect me to have a baby for them, it’s gonna be bad.” She pauses. “I’m worried what will happen when they find out.”