by Ruby Dixon
She jerks, making more whimpering sounds when his knife cuts into the side of her neck. It is a ceremonial cut, and not deep, but I hate that it must be done, and she is so full of fear. This one is so brave compared to her sisters. I press my chin down atop her head. “Shhh. It will be over soon,” I murmur to her, low enough that it is only for her ears. “I will not let them hurt you.”
Her squirming slows, her breathing still raspy and quick, but I am pleased when Taushen pulls out a long, gleaming khui. It is a strong one. Good. And I am even more pleased when she goes limp in my arms as it disappears into the wound, the khui’s work beginning.
I should set her down on the snow, let her rest. Instead, I cradle her close, protective even as she is unconscious. When she wakes up, I will apologize for my harsh handling of her. Until then, I will guard her close. I tuck her small body against my chest.
Immediately, Chail runs up to me and smacks my arm. “What the fuck? I told you she doesn’t like to be touched and you’re manhandling her! Is this how we’re all going to be treated?”
I bare my fangs at her. “If you try to run away, yes.”
Vaza steps in front of Chail. “Bek, be reasonable—”
I growl at him. He takes the female’s side because he wants her in his furs. He is obvious. “I am doing what is best for the female, Vaza, and you know it. If she runs away, we risk losing the khuis, and then we will have to hunt down another.”
He nods slowly. “Then at least put her down so the other humans will not be so frightened.”
Frightened? Because I am holding the small, dirty one? I gaze down at the female and realize I am clutching her against my chest. Her filthy hair brushes against my face, and the stink of her is eye-wateringly bad. But…the urge to protect her is near overwhelming. She is so fearful that she is not careful with herself, so I must watch out for her. Surely they see that.
But Leezh looks over at her husband and then gestures at me. Raahosh comes forward and puts his arms out. “I will take the girl to Leezh, and she will watch over her. You are frightening the others.”
What he says makes sense. It should not matter if I hold her as long as I can stand guard. However, the thought of giving her over to him feels like a punch to the gut. I do not know why I feel so attached. My chest is silent. It is not resonance. What is it, then?
Reluctantly, I hand her over, hating the way her head lolls as he carries her to Leezh. He should be supporting her neck. He should cover her legs with a warm fur so she does not get cold. He should—
“Are you going to stand there all afternoon like a stone, or can we give the other humans their khuis?” Harrec asks, voice dry with amusement. “I can try to go around you, but you are much larger than them.”
I turn and give him a scowl and then stalk away.
One by one, the humans are given their khuis. They immediately fall unconscious, slipping to the snow in the deep slumber that their bodies need to adjust to the change. They were braver than I expected, however. Even the pink-maned one did not cry as the knife was brought to her throat and the small cut made.
We settle blankets around them, make them comfortable under the trees, and wait. Raahosh builds a fire for his mate, and we guard the large carcass from predators that might come into the area. Sa-kohtsk are not good eating, but so much meat will draw something for certain, and we must be ready.
I find myself standing by Taushen, scanning the valley for the loping slink of snow-cats or the wings of a scouting scythe-beak. He stands next to me, spear in hand, and then glances over. “Do you…feel any different?”
“Eh?” I look over at him.
“Resonance.” He puts a fist over his heart. “Did you?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. You?”
“Nothing.” The disappointment is obvious on his face. “I thought for sure it would happen for me.” Taushen sighs heavily, his shoulders slumped. “I remember when the first humans arrived. It seemed that at the sight of them, the others resonated right away. Vektal resonated to Shorshie before she even had her khui. Yet I look at these females and I feel no different.”
I grunt. He speaks aloud the same worries I have had. “My sister has an idea as to why no one has resonated to them yet.” She told me about it last night, and I have been thinking about it ever since.
“Oh? Maylak?” Taushen looks interested. “What does she say?”
I nod. “She thinks that so many resonances happened right away because there were so few females in our tribe, and even fewer kits. We were dying out. With the humans here and new kits born every season, there is less urgency. She thinks that resonance will take longer to happen.”
His mouth turns down in a frown. “I hope she is wrong.”
I hope she is, too. It seems unfair to think that because others got their mates, I will have nothing. To see human females in front of us and still not resonate, it seems cruel.
I have had a pleasure-mate in the past. I suppose I could take one again. The thought fills me with disgust, though. My mating with Claire burned hot for the first turn of the moon and then quickly changed to ash. It left me hollow inside.
This time, I want the real thing.
Kate is the first of the humans to awaken, her eyes shining bright blue. She sits up in surprise, then moves to the fire, and then stares at her hands in even more surprise. “I’m not as cold as before.”
“Winner, winner, chicken dinner,” Leezh says happily. “Don’t worry, you’ll like the cootie.” She pats the snow on the ground. “Come sit next to me while we wait for the others to wake up.”
Kate does, and I watch her and her strange, pale mane. She is tall and strong. Healthy. Surely she will be someone’s mate? But I feel nothing for her, and my khui remains silent. If I am to resonate, it is not to her. I eye the other hunters and notice they are all watching her with avid stares, hunger in their eyes.
No one steps forward. Kate yawns and smiles at Leezh. “Have anything to eat?”
Rations are shared, and we go back to pacing, watching the humans and waiting for them to rouse. The one with the golden skin—Suh-mer—is the next to awaken. And again, I feel nothing. My chest is silent. So are the others.
I can feel the despair in the air as Chail awakens and no one resonates to her. Vaza is delighted, though, and quickly moves to her side with a gift of his waterskin and some smoked meat. Buh-Brukh—the pink one—is the fourth to awaken, and I have to admit to myself I am glad when my chest remains quiet. She is a weeper.
Only the small, dirty one—Ell-ee—still sleeps. I rub my chest, gazing over at the small pile of furs where she slumbers. Some do not take to their khui. Sometimes the body is not well enough to handle it, and I think of her fragile bones and how thin she is. How hollow her eyes are. What if she does not awaken? The thought is unbearable. She is strong inside, a fighter. It is not fair that her outside should be so delicate.
As she continues to sleep, I find myself watching her instead of the others gathered near the fire. Why does she not wake? Has no one bothered to check on her? What if she is ill? What if she needs the healer even now?
I bite back the growl in my throat and surge forward, storming over to her furs. I must see for myself that she breathes.
“Bek?” Harrec calls. “What is it?”
I ignore him and pull the blankets back, revealing Ell-ee’s face.
Her eyes open, a bright, brilliant blue, and she scowls up at me, jerking the blankets out of my hand and wrapping them tightly around her body again. She is…pretending to sleep because she does not want to talk.
I chuckle and rub my chest. Clever little thing. How often have I wished I could walk away from an annoying conversation by the fire? She is wise to feign sleep. I should apologize to her for grabbing her earlier, if she does not like touching. I should let her know that it is not safe to run away.
I should tell her a great many things, but they all fly out of my head, thoughts scattering like startled dirt-beaks, becaus
e my khui begins to sing when she narrows her blue eyes at me and frowns, her hand over her own heart.
6
ELLY
I knew it.
I knew the moment we were told that our cooties might pick a mate that I’d be trapped, forced to belong to someone again. It doesn’t matter that the humans here spout that we’ll be free and smile to reassure us—you always end up forced to rely on someone in the end.
I was praying it wouldn’t be the mean one, though.
I’ve just woken up, my thoughts scattered and confused. I can hear voices and the scent of smoke that tells me there’s a fire nearby, so I remain where I am, feigning sleep while I sort through my emotions. I’m not as bone-deep cold any longer, which is strange but nice. There’s still a bit of a nip to the weather, but under the blankets, I hardly notice it. I wonder if my skin is as feverishly warm as the blue aliens feel. I mentally examine my body, looking for other physical changes when I realize…I’m wet between my thighs.
Just thinking about it makes my pulse throb right at my groin.
Under the blankets, I furtively cup my sex, worried. I’ve never felt need before, not like this. As I was barely a teenager when stolen, I missed out on everything that normal girls do—dating, flirting with boys, prom, the works. I spent most of those years in a cage and was paraded as a pet the rest of the time. If I had ever showed any inkling of sexual need, my owners would have either tried to breed me to another slave to produce more pets or taken the task upon themselves. So I made sure never to seem like anything other than a fragile dirt-farm.
I’ve never even so much as touched myself properly, though I’ve thought about it a few times. But there’s never been enough privacy, and the need hasn’t been there. I’ve been just fine without touching myself.
The need’s there now, with a vengeance.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to get rid of it. All I know is that I ache deep inside, and my nipples are hard, and I feel…restless. Unsettled. Full of hunger for something I can’t describe.
At least, I can’t describe it until someone walks up to my bed and yanks the furs back, exposing me to the world.
I shouldn’t be surprised to see that it’s the mean one—Bek. My hands fly to my chest, to cover my fluttering heart as I gasp in shock. He gazes down at me with those slitted, hard eyes, his mouth a firm line that shows no gentleness. I realize a moment later that my heart’s not fluttering. It’s my brand-new cootie, and it’s resonating.
To him.
To the one that scares me more than all of the others. The one that tackled me the moment I stepped near the fallen creature. The one that put his hands all over me and sent me into a blind panic. I vaguely remember kicking his jaw, but I also remember that he’d pinned me against him and held my face so the others could cut me, and I’d loathed every moment of that.
I also remember his voice, soft and soothing, as if trying to comfort me. It doesn’t fit with my memories, though, so I discard that and stare up at him accusingly.
“You,” he murmurs, dropping the blanket to crouch near me. He looks thoughtful, and then a slow, hungry smile spreads over his face as he watches me. His hand presses to his heart, and I can hear his cootie humming in time with mine, the din of them drowning my senses.
I watch him, uncertain what he’s going to do now. Throw me onto the snow and force himself on me? It doesn’t matter that the others are nearby—I don’t know these people and what they’re capable of. I do know that they don’t give two shits about nudity, because I’ve seen a lot of blue beefcake—and human women, too—in the few days that we’ve been at their village.
“My mate. I should have known,” he says in a low voice, his eyes bright. “Such a little fighter.”
I don’t feel like fighting right now. I want to burrow back under the blankets and hide away from the world. I want this all to be a bad dream. Instead, I think of his big hands as he’d grabbed me earlier, and I’m filled with sheer, unrelenting fear. This one is going to touch me, and it’s going to hurt. How can it not? He handled me so roughly just a short time ago, and I stretch one filthy arm out, looking for bruises, because I’m still hurting. Sure enough, there are fingermarks on my arm where he’d gripped me. I look down at them and at him accusingly.
He sees them, and the look on his face is nothing short of horror. And that…surprises me. I was expecting a ‘I told you not to run’ or a ‘That’s what happens when you misbehave’ or a ‘Get used to it, bitch’ sort of comment. I certainly don’t expect him to go pale, his throat working as if he’s having a hard time swallowing.
“Was that from me?” he asks.
I just glare at him. What, does he think I magically bruise myself while I’m sleeping?
Bek scrubs a hand over his face, the hard lines of his mouth pulling down even more. “I am…ashamed. Forgive me.” He extends a hand out, reaching for my arm. “Let me see it.”
I shrink back, my stomach churning at the thought of letting him touch me. Touches aren’t good. They lead to other things. I’ve seen that happen too many times before.
“What are you doing?” someone calls out, and I realize it’s Liz.
Bek turns toward her, and as he does, I reach out and snatch my blankets back. He looks back at me, surprise on his face, and our eyes meet. For a moment, it’s like I’m sinking into his bright blue gaze. I’m trapped there, and my cootie hums and sings in my chest even louder, making my nipples tingle and ache against the thick leather of my tunic. He seems to hold his breath, and the air around us feels electric.
And god, I am ridiculously wet, my pulse pounding so hard it feels as if my cootie’s making it sing, too.
Liz’s boots crunch in the snow as she approaches, and she frowns at Bek, who’s still kneeling far too close to me. “You’re not supposed to…” Her voice dies away, and her eyes widen. “Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. You two are resonating?” She shoots a horrified look back and forth from me to Bek and then back to me again.
Bek straightens, his body tall and strong and delicious and alarming all at the same time. His tail flicks as he stands, annoyed. “She is my mate. Our khuis have chosen.”
I might be wrong, but it sounds like there’s pride in his voice. If so, I suspect that not even my layer of dirt is going to protect me from his attentions. For some reason, the thought makes me squeeze my thighs tighter together.
Liz arches an eyebrow at him and then looks down at me. “Yeah, well, she doesn’t look thrilled.”
“She will be,” he says, all confidence.
“That so?” She cocks her head at me. “Elly, are you thrilled?”
I don’t look over at Bek. I just give a small shake of my head, clinging to my blanket.
“Think you’ll be thrilled in the next five minutes?”
Again, I shake my head.
“Next day?”
Still no.
“Okay then, I’m stepping in.” She steps fearlessly between us, as if Bek isn’t enormous and bulky and scary, and puts a hand on his chest. “You go away. I’m sitting with Elly and guarding her until we get back to the village.”
Bek scowls. “She is my mate. We are resonating. You—”
“You need to talk to the chief, Mr. Rule Breaker. As long as Elly’s scared of you, you’re not breathing the same air as her. Understand?” She puts her hands on her hips. “Or did I miss the part where you grabbed her and flung her around and forced her to get her khui?”
His face goes bleak for a moment and then stiffens into something like a scowl. “She must have a khui.”
“Yeah, well, there are ways to do it and ways not to do it. You and Raahosh must have been comparing notes or something.”
Somewhere near the fire, it sounds like Raahosh snorts.
I should speak up. Say something. Take charge of my own life. Tell Liz what I want. Tell Bek to go away and leave me alone. But the words die in my throat and I can’t get anything to come out.
The other humans move away from the fire, and I notice that Summer, Kate, Brooke and Gail have bright blue glowing eyes now. Mine must be glowing, too, though my vision looks the same. To a one they all frown at Bek as they walk past and come sit in the snow next to me. They sit close, but not too close that I panic. It’s a show of solidarity and sisterhood from women I’ve never spoken to, and the knot in my throat seems to get suddenly huge.
Someday, I’m going to tell them thank you. For now, I just press my fist over my breast and wish my cootie would stop humming so mercilessly.
BEK
Of course it is Ell-ee who is to be mine, I muse as we head back to the village. My heart is full of joy. I do not even mind that the other humans walk with Ell-ee at the front of the group and I walk at the back with no company except Raahosh. That is fine—they will not be able to separate us forever. Resonance will not allow it.
The other hunters sneak me envious looks; no one has resonated but myself and Ell-ee. They will have to wait for resonance to choose them at a later date, if it will choose at all.
Resonance.
Just thinking about it makes my khui begin a slow, steady song. It has finally happened, and my female…she is perfect.
Well, she smells bad enough that my eyes water being near her, and she will not speak, but I know Ell-ee is the mate I have been waiting for. Even when she is at her most afraid, she does not cry. She is brave. Determined. Clever.
Mine. The thought fills me with pride. Over time, perhaps she will learn to enjoy washing. For now, I am more concerned that she is so frightened of me. Can she not speak, ever? Or does she choose not to? Would one of the other humans know? I focus my gaze on the one called Chail, who has taken a motherly role with the other females. Even now, she rubs an arm over the pink one’s shoulders, encouraging her.
Chail would know if Ell-ee can speak.
I jog forward, ignoring Raahosh’s muttered curse. He does not pursue me when I move to stand next to Chail and walk next to her. They want me to keep away from my mate. I ignore the anger that burns in my gut at the thought and focus on Chail.