by Ruby Dixon
And I feel a little bit better at that. As long as he’s at my side, I can adjust to living in the village with so many strangers. Maybe I’ll even be able to talk to them. Maybe.
Rokan moves toward the fire, ignoring the fact that both of us are wrapped in blankets. He crouches near it and warms his hands, rubbing them. “It has been a long run out on the trails, my friend. Sit. I will not stay long.”
Bek sits again, the tightness in his jaw easing a bit. He looks up at me and gestures that I should sit, too.
I feel safest when his arms are around me, so I immediately drop into his lap and pull his blanket tight around both of us. Bek tucks my head against his shoulder and gestures at the fire. “There is tea on, if you wish some, Rokan.”
Rokan only watches us with amusement, flexing his hands. “I am not thirsty. Like I said, I will not stay for long. I am too close to home, and I long to see my mate and our son.” His expression grows soft with pleasure. “It has been far too many days since I have seen her.”
“Did you have good hunting, then?” Bek’s hand strokes my arm, reassuring me, and I relax a little more.
“Some, but I did not accomplish what I needed to. I am returning early. There will be a fierce snowstorm soon. I wanted to warn the tribe.”
“Bah. There is always snow.”
Rokan shakes his head. “No, this is a great snow. One that will rival the brutal season. It will not be safe for humans to be out in the cold. I must make sure that Raahosh and Leezh are not out hunting, or Mah-dee with Hassen. I sense it will be a very cold storm for a long while.” He glances at me. “And I suspect our chief will want you to bring your mate into the village so she is safe.”
I expect Bek to blow off his words, to make a dismissive sound and ignore him. But he is quiet, his hand stroking my arm thoughtfully. Then he nods. “I will make sure she is in the village. How long do we have?”
“A handful of days. When the moons disappear from the sky, I think. I can see the storms in my mind’s eye, and it will be a big one. Far too much snow.” He straightens, hands on his hips, stretching. “And now that you have been warned, I am going to continue on to the village. I saw the smoke from your fire in the distance and thought I would warn you.”
“It is night out. Do you want to stay for the evening? You still have a few hours of travel to go.” Bek gestures at our cave. “We have room, and we have food.”
“No,” Rokan says. He straightens his cloak. “The weather is pleasant yet, and being in my mate’s arms is even more pleasant.” He turns to the cave entrance and gives us a small wave. “I will see you both in the village soon.”
“Mmm.” Bek raises a hand in goodbye.
I say nothing, a little puzzled by the sudden appearance—and just as sudden exit—of Rokan. “Is it dangerous for him to go?”
“Rokan? No. He can sense things we cannot. And he is never wrong about a storm.” Bek presses a kiss to my brow, thoughtful. “If he thinks it is not safe for you to be out here, I must take you back to the village.”
I slide my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek to his shoulder and enjoying his warmth. “I don’t want to go.”
“I know. I would keep you here with me if it was safe, but I cannot risk you. You are the most important thing in my world.”
His words are confusing me. He makes it sound like he won’t go back with me, but Vektal told him it was fine. “So when will we return?”
“We will gather enough food to make sure you are well supplied for the storm, and then we will head in. Perhaps two days.”
He’s avoiding the question. “And you’re going with me?”
He is silent.
I push against his chest, frowning. “Bek? You wouldn’t leave me alone in the village, would you? I don’t want to go back without you!”
“Ell-ee,” he says, voice ragged. The look on his face is troubled. “It is…difficult.”
“It shouldn’t be! They’re your people!”
But his expression is bleak and fills me with worry.
BEK
Ell-ee is upset at me. I can tell by the stiff way her shoulders are set. She climbs out of my lap and moves to her furs, her delicate jaw set in a stubborn angle. She does not want to go back to the village by herself.
And I do not want her to go. Not at all. My greatest joy is having her at my side, hearing her laugh, seeing her face. Every day is better when I wake up with her at my side and go to sleep with her hands on my chest. It does not matter to me that we have not mated yet and my body aches with need for her. I want her to feel comfortable and secure. I want her to look forward to it with joy. More than anything, I want her to tell me she is ready. I do not want to push her.
I do not want her to go.
But…I am not sure I should go back to the village with her.
Vektal has given me permission. I am sure that if I return, some will look at me with glad eyes. My sister will be pleased. But I do not know that Claire will forgive me. Or the other humans. I remember Shorshie’s helpless anger when I did not understand why she was upset. And I think of the four new humans that were recently brought here because of me. They hate me.
They all hate me. And how can they not? I bought them. I did not realize how bad a thing this was until my Ell-ee explained it to me. Until she showed me what it is like to not matter to someone who controls your life. I realize it now, and I am sick at heart at what I have done. In my eyes, I was saving the humans. In their eyes, I am no better than those that stole them.
So I do not know if I can go back. Not yet. Not until angry tempers have cooled.
But I also do not know if I can leave my sweet Ell-ee’s side. I do not want to abandon her…but I also do not want my tribe to hate me more. What if the other unmated males are full of resentment that I have brought females here for them and yet I am the only one with a mate?
There are so many questions in my mind, and I do not know if they have answers. I look over at my mate. She sits in her furs, her shoulders slumped, the happiness in her eyes such a short time ago dulled. It hurts me to see this. I have done this to her. I have made her sad. “Ell-ee, talk to me.”
She shrugs. “You’re going to abandon me.” Her expression is stiff, but there’s a wobble in her voice. “You think I want to go back there? I want to stay here with you.”
I want that, too, more than anything. I move over to her side and sit down next to her in the furs, cross-legged. I do not touch her, but my knee brushes against her pink one. “I do not wish to leave your side—”
“Then don’t,” she replies quickly. “Don’t abandon me.”
“I did a terrible thing,” I tell her. “I bought humans because we wanted mates. The others are still angry at me, and I do not wish for them to hate me more.”
“Vektal said you could come back,” she tells me again. “He’s the chief, right? So they have to go by what he says.”
She is right, and yet… “If my presence makes the others unhappy, I will have no choice but to leave again.”
“Then I’m going to go with you,” she cries, wrapping her arms around my waist. “We go together, wherever we go.”
I pull her close, burying my fingers in her soft mane. I want that more than anything. “You would give up a tribe just to be with me? You would give up home?”
Ell-ee leans back and gazes up at me, her eyes shiny. “Bek, I never had a home before I got here. I was never safe. You are my home. You are my safe. I’m with you forever.”
My heart feels impossibly full. I cup my mate’s upturned face and kiss her mouth gently. “Even if I am a bad male who bought people?”
“You didn’t know what you did,” she says simply. Her hands touch mine. “And once you realized, you were sorry. There’s a difference between that and those that will never look at slaves as people. Who use shock collars. Who torture slaves just to be cruel. You could never be cruel.” Her expression grows thoughtful. “Though I do remember one time when you knocke
d me to the ground and covered me with bruises at a sa-kohtsk hunt…”
I am full of remorse and shame. “I thought you were running away. To leave at that moment would have been death. Ell-ee—”
“I’m teasing,” she says lightly, and takes my hand and kisses the palm. “I love you, Bek. Even when you’re impatient and grumpy.”
“Not with you. Never with you.”
Her smile is brighter than the stars. “Never with me.”
“You are my world, my mate.” I study her beloved face, humbled that I am lucky enough to resonate to such a female. “I wanted a mate, but I never imagined one as perfect as you. I am lucky beyond my wildest dreams.”
She slides closer, her hands going to my thighs. “I never knew what it meant to be happy before I met you, Bek. I thought I would be miserable here because it would just be another place I’m trapped. But with you, I don’t feel trapped. I feel safe. Like I have someone to belong to. Like I have something to look forward to every day.”
There is a knot in my throat. I wrap my arms around my Ell-ee and crush her against my chest. My mate. My everything. No male has ever been so lucky.
And then when I feel her little tongue slide along the side of my neck, I chuckle. My cock immediately aches. “Even now, you wish for me to pleasure you? My female is insatiable.”
“You’ve created a monster,” she agrees, tracing one finger along the arch of my horn.
“I wish to please my monster,” I tell her, and imagine laying her down on the furs, my mouth between her thighs. I want nothing more than this. Nothing.
“Then put your hands on me.”
“I would put my mouth on you, Ell-ee.” I lay her gently in the furs and then pull her leggings off. She is already half-naked, my mate, but I have her completely naked in a matter of moments. “I would kiss your cunt and lick you until you cry out.”
She gasps and gives a little wriggle on the furs, titillated by the idea. “You would?”
I groan. My fearless mate. “It would give me great pleasure. You do not know how much.”
Ell-ee’s hands go to her thighs. “Then I get to do the same to you once I’ve come.”
Ah, my lovely mate. “Very fair.” I lean in and press a kiss to the inside of her knee, then the soft inside of her thigh. Her body trembles as I move up, the scent of her driving me mad. My mouth is watering at the thought of being able to taste her. There is a saying that nothing tastes better than being between the thighs of your resonance mate. I have been waiting many days for this, and my khui sings an urgent song of agreement.
I kiss up her thigh, and she gives a little shiver as I pause and then spread her thighs wider so I can feast upon her. Her pink folds are exposed to my view, wet with need, and I cannot resist giving her a long, slow lick. The strangled moan she gives makes my cock pulse with need. I want more. I part her folds and bury my face in her sweetness.
Ell-ee cries out, arching, and I anchor an arm around her hip, holding her steady so I can lick her. Already, I am addicted to her taste. I need to have this every day, need to wake up with the taste of her on my lips. After days and days of touching, I know which caresses she likes best, and I use my tongue to give her those. I trace little circles around her third nipple and swipe my tongue over her sensitive flesh in long, languid strokes until she’s rocking against my face, her breath rapid little pants of excitement. Her hands are fluttering over my mane, my horns, as if she wants to hold on but does not wish to bother me. As if I would stop until she cries out. I drag my tongue over her sweetness and lap at her core, then push the tip of my tongue inside her.
This time, she locks on to my horns and moans loudly. Her skin prickles with bumps, and a fresh wave of juices coats my tongue, a sure sign that my mate is already about to come. Pleased at how quickly I can bring her to pleasure, I lick my way back up to her third nipple and tease it until she makes that gasping, choked little sound that tells me she’s almost there. I do not stop, tonguing her over and over again.
She comes with a stiffening of her body and a little shriek, and I lick up her release, loving the taste of her on my mouth. My mate. Mine.
Nothing—no one—will ever part us, I decide. If the tribe does not want me, we will leave. We will make our own tribe if we must.
I just want my Ell-ee to be happy. If she is happy, I do not care where I am.
14
BEK
We stay out in our small cave for two more days before we load up the sled with food supplies and begin the walk back to the village. Ell-ee insists on carrying a pack, though I would gladly take her burdens for her. My mate has a fierce spirit, but she is still thinner than I would like. The sled is full of fresh animal meat and roots we have harvested in our walks in the last few days, so we do not return to the tribe empty-handed. It is an easy walk back to the village—no more than a few hours—but as we journey, I notice that Ell-ee moves closer and closer to me until she is practically holding on to my belt by the time we make it to the pulley.
She is nervous. Afraid. I want to ask her why she is afraid, after all this time. After living with the sa-khui for several days before coming to stay with me, but I know the answer. She is happy with me in the cave and feels safe.
And she does not trust that to continue.
It makes me ache to think that she is so full of fear. My people are good people. I know that given time, her fears will go away, but until then, she will worry. I must do whatever I can to make her feel safe, then. We pause so she can rest, and each time, I hold her close and kiss her to distract her. Perhaps it is not very restful to encourage our khuis, but if she is thinking about mating, maybe she will not worry about rejoining the tribe so much.
“All will be well,” I reassure her as we approach the pulley that will let us down in the gorge that houses the stone village. Her cold fingers are wrapped tight around the leather of my belt, and her face has taken on a pinched look of concern.
“I just don’t want us to be separated,” Ell-ee tells me. “If they won’t let you come back, I don’t want to come back, either. I want to go with you. It doesn’t matter where.”
I want to reassure her that we will not be separated, but I remain silent. Resonance mates have been separated in the past when one needed to be punished. I remember Raahosh’s brief exile, and Hassan’s as well. I do not want that to happen. I do not want to leave my Ell-ee’s side for a moment.
I look over at my mate, and her round face is somber and pale, and she looks at the pulley as if she is facing down her worst nightmares. “It will be all right,” I reassure her. “We will still go watch the stars every night and watch the sunrise every morning.”
“Even in the village?” She looks skeptical. “It doesn’t get much light. Tiffany has to constantly move her trees all day to catch the sunlight.”
“We can come here and ride the pulley up to watch the suns rise every morning,” I tell her. I am happy to wake up a little earlier if it means so much to her. “And I will cut a hole in the roof so you can watch the stars every night until you fall asleep.”
Her mouth curves in the faintest of smiles. “It’s not a very good roof if it has a hole in it.”
I put an arm around her shoulders and hug her slight form to me. “I will make sure you have them, one way or another.”
She smiles, then, and presses her face against my chest. “I love you,” she whispers.
My spirit swells with affection. “You are my heart, Ell-ee.”
It takes time to load and secure the sled onto the pulley, and both Ell-ee and I ride down with it. Once at the bottom, I begin to undo the straps while Ell-ee waits patiently.
“Ho! Who is that I see before me?” calls a familiar voice.
I straighten, and Ell-ee automatically moves to stand behind me. Harrec. I raise a hand to him in greeting, pleased to see my friend. “You are just in time to help us with the sled.”
“Am I?” He smirks at me. “I am a busy hunter today—I must go catc
h seven fang-fish before the suns go down.”
It seems an odd thing. “Why?”
Harrec shrugs. “Because Kate thinks I cannot, and I must prove her wrong.” He grins and then moves forward to help me haul the sled off the platform. “Is that Ell-ee I see behind you?”
I wait for her to greet him, but she is silent, her hands knotted into the back of my vest. “It is. Rokan says there is a bad storm coming in soon.”
“Ah yes, his great storm.” Harrec gives me a mischievous look. “I think it is an excuse so he can stay home with his pretty mate and rub her swollen feet.”
“Bah.” As if Rokan would lie. His mate is with kit for a second time, but he knows his duty as a hunter. “Careful he does not hear your words or he will rub your face into the snow.”
Harrec just laughs and then slaps the side of the sled. “Well, come on. Pull this thing, lazy one. I have a pretty human I wish to prove wrong.”
“Are you sharing Kate’s furs? Pleasure-mating?” I ask as we haul the sled forward. There is not much snow at the bottom of the gorge, and it makes pulling far more difficult.
“That one? She would slit my throat before sharing her furs with me.” But he looks rather pleased at the thought. “I am going to wear her down, though. Wait and see.”
Harrec can indeed wear a person’s nerves. He likes to talk, and more than that, he likes to hear himself talk. “Any resonances while we were gone?”
“Not a one. I think Taushen is despairing of ever getting a mate.”
I grunt, hauling the sled forward as Harrec pushes. My Ell-ee moves quietly to the side, standing in the shadows of the cliff walls, out of the way. I give her a little nod to reassure her and let her know this will not take long. “And Warrek?”
“That one is so quiet, who knows what he is thinking.” Harrec shrugs.
“Maybe it is not that he is quiet, but that your mouth is just open all the time,” I tell him, and then grunt when the sled finally lodges into familiar ruts in the ground. “There it is. My thanks for your help.”