by Leanne Banks
Embarrassed, she pulled her hand from his. “My mind wasn’t in the gutter,” she protested. Just all over his naked body.
Guiding her to one end of the sofa, he gently pushed her down then sat across from her in a chair. “I’m not kissing you or touching you,” he said, lifting his hands. “I’m just thinking about it.”
His gaze raked over her, stripping her, kicking up the arousal inside her again. And he wasn’t even touching her. Swallowing the urge to yell for help, she covered her eyes. “Faith, look at me.”
She peeked between two of her fingers. “Do I have to?”
He nodded.
She lowered her hand to her lap. “I just have a hard time believing you’d be interested in a woman like me.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t operate in your social or financial or even geographic circle. I’m not drop-dead beautiful. I’m not—”
“Enough of what you’re not. You make me feel glad about being alive again. I haven’t felt that way for a long time. You make it okay to miss my daughter and my wife at the same time that I enjoy life.”
Faith was incredibly moved by his words, but she didn’t want to be. Gabriel scared her. “You could get that from a decent therapist.”
“I want to be with you as often as I can. I like the way I feel when I’m around you. I respect you. But I want you, too. A therapist can’t give me that.”
Her pulse beat erratically in her throat. She swallowed. “You scare me.”
He looked at her in disbelief. “Why?”
“You’re too good to be true. Any minute something’s going to go wrong. And if something doesn’t go wrong, you’ll just poof, disappear one day.”
His gaze held hers with a combination of compassion and exasperation. He stood and rubbed his hand over his face. “I’m gonna leave now. For the night,” he added. “Because if I stay, I could end up giving your kids an eyeful, and I don’t want to do that. But here’s something I want you to think about. What if something doesn’t go wrong? What if I won’t disappear?”
Gabriel left and Faith stared after him. What was happening here? Had she just imagined what had occurred? Had she imagined that he’d kissed her? That he’d said those things that had blown her away?
She pinched herself hard.
Edgy, she stood and went into the kitchen where the dishes waited. Reality waited. This was her life. Baking cookies, caring for her children, working at the café.
Gabriel Raines was fantasy material and she’d do well to remember it.
The following afternoon after school, Faith helped Jason with his homework while Becky did her math at the kitchen table. Becky had seemed more distracted than usual, peering out the window.
“What are you looking at, sweetie? Do you see an animal?”
Becky shook her head. “No. I was just looking.”
Fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang.
Becky slammed her book closed and scrambled out of her chair. “I’ll get it.”
Faith exchanged a curious glance with Jason, but he just shook his head. Hearing the sound of a man’s low voice, she rose. “I’ll be back in a minute. You keep coloring.”
She walked to the foyer to find Becky chatting with an attractive man in his mid-twenties. He glanced up at her arrival. “You must be Becky’s mother, Faith. I’m Mike Wayland. It’s nice to meet you.”
Still uncertain why he was at her door, she accepted his handshake. “Hello.”
“Mr. Wayland is the fireman I told you about,” Becky said, giving an exaggerated nod.
Faith nodded slowly. Becky had never mentioned a fireman.
“Becky told me you wanted to make cookies for us guys who have to work on Christmas Day, and I just wanted to make a visit to personally thank you.”
She smiled, tossing a questioning glance at Becky, who was innocently staring at the ceiling. “That’s very kind of you, Mike,” she said. “How many of you will be working on Christmas day?”
“It’ll just be a skeleton crew of about ten, but we appreciate your thoughtfulness.” He held her hand a bit longer than necessary and stepped closer.
If Faith didn’t know better, she would say the man was sniffing her. She removed her hand from his.
“Well, darn if she wasn’t right. Becky said you smell like sugar cookies and you do.”
“Thank you,” she said, for lack of anything else to say. “It was nice of you to stop by.”
“I guess I should go,” he said reluctantly. “You coming to the community party on Friday?”
“We were planning to attend.”
He nodded and grinned. “Save a dance for me. Good meeting you, Faith.”
He left and Faith immediately turned to Becky.
“Gotta go to the bathroom, Mom. Gotta go bad,” Becky said and vamoosed out of the foyer.
Faith narrowed her eyes. It was definitely time to have a talk with her daughter. After checking on Jason and dinner, she parked outside of the bathroom waiting for Becky.
After several minutes, her daughter finally appeared. “I should get back to work on my math, mom,” Becky said.
Faith snagged Becky before she escaped. “After you and I talk.”
Becky’s gaze held a tinge of desperation. “But I’ve got English, too.”
“That can wait,” Faith said, guiding Becky to her bedroom.
“But I need to get started on a science project,” Becky said.
“You’re a smart girl. I’m sure you’ll get it all done,” Faith said calmly, motioning for Becky to sit on her bed as she stood across from her. “What is this about me baking cookies for firemen for Christmas?”
“Well, you’re always doing nice things for people, so I thought you’d like to do this, too.”
“Becky?” Faith prodded in a warning tone.
Becky sighed. “He came to class today to tell us what firemen do and all my friends thought he was a hottie and that you should marry him.”
Feeling the beginning of a tension headache, Faith squeezed the bridge of her nose. How to explain this to her eight-year-old daughter so she would understand? “Becky, do you like Brussels sprouts?”
Becky shook her head.
“Do you like liver?”
Becky made a face. “No!”
“Do I make you eat Brussels sprouts and liver?”
Becky shook her head slowly. “No.”
“Do I put them on your plate at night for dinner for you to eat?”
“No.”
“Do I let you choose when and if you will eat Brussels sprouts and liver?”
Becky nodded. “Yes.”
“Honey, men are like food. What tastes good to one person doesn’t necessarily appeal to another. Just because you think I should marry Mike whatsisname, doesn’t mean I want to marry him. That should be my choice.”
“But you never even date,” Becky said.
“That’s my choice.”
“But Jason and I want a new daddy,” Becky said, her lower lip trembling.
Faith’s heart broke and she wrapped her arms around her daughter. “Oh, honey, I know you want a daddy. But daddies aren’t like computers or toys or cars. You can’t just call a number and order one. You have to find the right one. If you get the wrong one, it can be a big mess.”
She squeezed Becky tightly. “I’m sorry you can’t have a daddy right now, but I have to be very careful about who I date and especially who I marry. You and Jason are so precious. Whoever I marry will have to fall in love with the two of you. You two are too important for me to have it any other way.”
Becky gave another heavy sigh. “I just wish it could be different, Mom.”
Faith slid her hand through Becky’s hair. “Is it so awful the way it is right now?”
Becky pulled back and shook her head. “No. It’s actually pretty good. Everyone in my class knows my mom makes the best cookies.”
Faith smiled. “You’re the best daughter in the world, but no more matchm
aking.”
A shadow crossed Becky’s face that made Faith a bit nervous. “But will you at least start dating?”
Faith thought of Gabriel and her heart raced. “If it’s someone I choose.”
That night, Gabriel didn’t come to dinner or the house and Faith struggled with missing him. Ridiculous. How could she miss a man she’d just met? How could she miss a man about whom she shouldn’t be thinking? Or wanting?
She couldn’t, however, stop thinking about how close she’d felt to him, how natural it had felt to be in his arms. How right it had felt to comfort him when she sensed he felt sad. Her feelings for him had hit her too fast and too strong.
When she’d imagined herself in love again, and she hadn’t allowed herself to imagine it very often, she’d pictured a slow, steady relationship. Nothing that would rock her boat, just something she could count on. Someone she could count on. She hadn’t imagined fire, or a fast click. She hadn’t imagined riding a roller coaster. She’d never imagined a man like Gabriel could be seriously interested in her.
“But it isn’t serious,” she reminded herself as she climbed into bed after baking cookies and folding laundry. She pulled up her covers, turned off her bedside lamp and closed her eyes.
The phone rang, startling her. She picked it up quickly. “Hello?”
“It’s Gabriel.”
“Hi,” she said, her heart doing a silly Snoopy dance.
“I had dinner with the contractor for the restaurant,” he said. “Got a lot of business done.”
“That’s good,” she said.
He paused. “I would have liked to have seen you today.”
She felt a melting sensation inside her and closed her eyes. She shouldn’t encourage this. She absolutely shouldn’t. “I would have liked to have seen you today, too,” she said in a low voice.
“Then maybe we should see each other tomorrow,” he said, his voice doing wonderful and horrible things to her nervous system.
“Maybe we should.”
“Can I take you out to dinner?”
“That would be wonderful, but I need more notice to get a sitter. Would you like to join us for dinner?”
“Sure, but get a sitter for Saturday night.”
Chapter 7
Faith saw Gabriel every night. He joined her and the kids for dinner, played board games with the kids, answered their incessant questions, chatted with her after she tucked Becky and Jason into bed, asked about her sisters, then kissed her senseless.
Every time she learned something new about him, she wanted to know more. Afraid of depending on him, she told herself not to get used to having him around. When she looked into his eyes, though, she forgot to be afraid. She forgot not to hope.
On Thursday night, just before the children went to bed, Becky ordered Gabe to close his eyes.
“No peeking,” she said. “We have a surprise for you.”
“For me?” His mouth lifted in a pleased grin as he sat on the sofa.
“We can’t bring it ’til you close your eyes cuz it’s too big to wrap,” Jason said.
Faith felt a dart of surprise. What had those kids been up to? She’d caught them whispering a few times lately and Becky had kept her door closed more often than usual.
“Okay, I’ll close my eyes,” Gabriel said with a grin.
The children ran down the hallway.
“I wanna carry it!” Jason insisted.
“You’ll drop it,” Becky said.
Faith cringed and rose. “Kids!”
Silence followed. “We’ll both carry it,” Becky said.
Both children entered the room carrying a small Christmas tree decorated with a variety of ornaments.
Stunned and moved, Faith shook her head. “Where did you find it?”
“In the cellar,” Becky said. “We thought you wouldn’t mind. Jason and I made the—”
“You can open your eyes!” Jason yelled.
Gabe opened his eyes and looked at the tree. “What’s this?”
“It’s your very own Christmas tree,” Jason said, nearly jumping up and down with excitement. “Me and Becky made it.”
“Becky and I,” Faith automatically corrected, moving closer to look at the decorations.
“We decided since you weren’t going to be home for Christmas that we would give you a Christmas tree. We put your favorite things and special people on it.”
“I put on the football,” Jason said, pointing to a miniature football.
“And that’s a picture of apple pie with ice cream,” Jason added, rubbing his tummy.
“We put on a ballerina slipper for your daughter,” Becky said, pointing to the ornament. “And a diamond for your wife.”
“Oh, and look, there’s the logo for Raines, Incorporated,” Faith said, amazed at her children’s thoughtfulness. She looked at Gabe and saw him touch the ornaments on the tree.
“You two are something else, aren’t you?” he said to Becky and Jason.
“Do you like it?” Becky asked earnestly.
“I love it,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. “It’s perfect.” He stroked both their cheeks. “Thank you.”
The kids set down the tree and he embraced them both. They scurried off to bed and Gabe met her gaze. He pulled her against him. “Your kids are incredible,” he said.
“They are, aren’t they?” Her eyes welled with tears of pride and emotion.
“Their mom is pretty incredible, too,” he said and kissed her.
Friday arrived and she and the kids got ready for the community party. Jason had invited Gabriel the previous evening, so the four of them would be going. Faith walked into her room to find Becky going through her closet making clucking sounds of disapproval.
“What are you doing?” Faith asked.
Becky turned around with her hands on her hips. “Looking for something for you to wear to the party. Mom, all your clothes are so last year.”
Her clothes were technically year before last, but Faith wasn’t counting. “Buying new clothing for myself hasn’t been my first priority,” she said.
“But you got that big check from Gabe—”
“I intend to use that check for you and Jason and household repairs.”
“But Mom, you could at least get one new outfit,” Becky said. “The newest dress you bought was that black one for Aunt Beth’s memorial service.”
“I like the dress with frogs on it,” Jason said from the doorway.
Becky rolled her eyes. “That’s a summer dress.”
He shrugged. “I still like it.”
Becky looked at the closet again and shook her head. “Mom, you have nothing to wear.”
“I’m sure I can find something,” Faith said. “The community party is casual, Becky. I won’t need an evening gown.”
“Yeah, but how are you ever gonna—”
The doorbell rang, cutting Becky off.
Faith’s heart dipped in anticipation. “That might be Gabe. Jason, would you—”
Jason was already running toward the door.
Faith turned to Becky. “I’ll try not to embarrass you,” she said with a smile.
“Well, maybe you could put on some eye shadow and wear some earrings,” Becky said. “I need to call Amanda.”
Faith frowned as Becky left the room. She hoped Becky wasn’t cooking up another matchmaking scheme. She’d thought they’d settled that issue the other day. Turning to her closet, she glanced through her clothes and reluctantly had to agree with her daughter. She needed to call Fashion Emergency. There wasn’t time tonight, though, so she pushed all the way to the far side of the closet and pulled out a black velvet dress. It was cut simply enough that it never went out of style.
Pulling it over her head, she fastened the buttons in the back then put on black stockings and stepped into a well-worn pair of black pumps. To relieve the stark color, she put on a glittery Christmas tree pin that had belonged to her aunt Beth. She looked in the mirror and the sight of
her aunt’s jewelry made her feel a sharp jab of loss mixed with warmth. Her aunt would be happy she was wearing the pin. She was so glad her sisters would be home for Christmas soon.
Taking a closer look in the mirror, she scowled at the shadows under her eyes. Maybe Becky was right. Maybe she should put on a little makeup. She dabbed on concealer, lipstick and coated her eyelashes with mascara. She brushed her hair and wore it straight.
Picking up a small purse to carry her keys and some change, she walked into the den. “I’m ready. Sorry you had to wait.”
Three pairs of eyes stared at her in surprise.
Jason was the first one to speak. “Wow. You look pretty, Mom.”
Faith smiled. “Thanks.”
“You did really good, Mom,” Becky said, sounding surprised.
“Amazing what you can do with a black dress, isn’t it?” she said to her daughter, then met Gabriel’s appreciative gaze.
“Very nice,” he said. “A shame we’re not going to dinner tonight.”
Her stomach danced with butterflies at the thought of her upcoming dinner with Gabriel. She wouldn’t have the protection of her children. Silly thought, but she felt nervous. “The community party will be fun,” she said lightly. “I’ll grab the cookies and we can go.”
An hour into the party, after Faith had introduced Gabe to what seemed like a thousand people, she escaped to grab some punch. The local band had began playing and couples were starting to dance.
A man she hadn’t met before approached her. “Excuse me, are you Faith Donner?”
She nodded. “Yes, I am. And you?”
“I’m Randy Allen. I’m the new assistant principal at Greenfield Elementary school. I believe your daughter and son attend school there.”
Faith felt a surge of parental discomfort. “Yes, they do. It’s nice to meet you. I hadn’t heard there was a new assistant principal. I hope neither of my children have been sent to see you for some reason.”
He chuckled. “No. I met Becky when I filled in for the P.E. teacher the other day. He had a family emergency and had to leave school early.”
“Oh, well I’m sure that made for an active afternoon for you.”