Zach swallowed hard. That last line sounded all too familiar. He’d been doing the same thing. “I wish you had kept dialing. I didn’t know you were going to counseling. These last few weeks would have been a lot easier if I’d known that.”
“I . . . I went today, too. It was . . . I think ... sort of a turning point. So I had to come and tell you about it.”
“I’m listening.” Zach propped his crossed his arms on the tabletop. “Shoot.”
She looked him directly in the eye. “I wanted to tell you that I realized I’ve been a total fool. That without your support, I don’t think I can do this. That I need you as a sounding board. That I need to hear your take on my feelings. And I needed to come here tonight and tell you personally, not over the phone, but straight to your face, that I’m sorry for what I said to you that last morning. It was a horrible thing to say, and you didn’t—” She gulped. “You didn’t deserve that. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. Just please know I didn’t mean it to hurt you. I didn’t even mean it at all. It just popped out. I was feeling trapped and scared to death that I’d . . . that I’d lose you if I didn’t agree to your terms, and I said it without thinking. I don’t believe you’d ever do anything to hurt me, and I know you’d never be dictatorial. It was a stupid thing to say, and I hope . . . well, someday I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me.”
Zach stood up and opened his arms. “Come here, sweetheart.”
She leaped up, circled the table, and launched herself at him with such force that she knocked him straight back into the wall. He didn’t care. Tightening his embrace, he buried his face in her hair. “Over the years when we quarrel, both of us are going to say things occasionally that we’ll wish later we hadn’t said. I’ll forgive you for what you said to me that morning if you’ll promise to give me a pass in the future when I stick my foot in my mouth. I have an unfortunate talent for it. Do we have a deal?”
She laughed softly, the sound wet and smothered. “That strikes me as being a great deal.”
“I didn’t think I’d ever hold you like this again,” he whispered. “It feels so damned good to have you in my arms.”
She hugged his neck. “It feels good to be here. Right, Zach, perfectly and absolutely right.”
He swayed with her, wondering as he did if he wasn’t a little more toasted than he’d thought. “If you really need my support to get through this, Mandy, how would you feel about it if I went to the counseling sessions with you?”
She leaned back to search his expression. “You’d do that for me?”
Zach couldn’t help but smile. “Mandy, I’d cut off my right arm for you.”
“The sessions are boring. The counselor goes over and over stuff with me. You’d probably go brain-dead.”
“I doubt it. Nothing about you bores me. And being there, hearing how you feel and why you feel that way, might help me to understand you better. I think that might be a very good thing. Counseling can take you only so far. Then you’ll have to do the rest. It only makes sense for us to tackle your problems as a couple. Don’t you agree?”
She smiled. “I’d love to have you go with me. That would be awesome.”
Zach didn’t want to let go of her, but he felt her try to pull away and forced his arms to his sides.
“Well,” she said softly. “I, um ... As soon as I get my next appointment scheduled, I’ll give you a call. Maybe we can meet at the clinic. Would that work?”
Zach realized she meant to leave. “No, that won’t work.”
She looked startled. “It won’t?”
“No. If we’re going to tackle your problems as a couple, then we should be a couple. You’ve got two choices. I can move back to your place, or you and Luke can move in here. I vote for the latter. This house is larger. Luke can be with Rosebud almost full-time. My home office will be a better working environment for you, and I’ll leave less of a carbon imprint if I’m not driving back and forth.”
“But I’m not ready for marriage yet, and you said—”
“I know what I said, but that was when you’d ruled out the possibility of marriage. Now you’re working on that. It’s a whole different kettle of fish. So, you choose, your place or mine?”
She ran back into his arms. “I don’t care where I live, Zach. All I care about is being with you. You could pitch a tent and I’d be happy.”
He chuckled. “I think I can do a little better than that.” He held her close, reveling in the feel of her against him. “There is one thing. My dad is old-fashioned. For the sake of Harrigan family harmony, would it bother you to wear an engagement ring? It can be a real engagement—or not. I won’t push you on that. But it will be easier for my dad to accept us living together if he believes our intent is to get married soon.”
She slipped her slender arms around his neck and leaned back to smile up at him. “I’d love to have an engagement ring. And it won’t be a fake engagement, Zach. My intent truly is to marry you. I’m just taking the long way around. But I love you, I want you, and I want terribly to spend my life with you.”
Those were, without question, the most wonderful words Zach had ever heard. She truly did mean to marry him. He didn’t care how long it took them to get there. Mandy was worth the wait.
“Ring shopping tomorrow. We’ll celebrate over lunch. Sound good?”
“It sounds divine.”
Zach kissed her then. The instant their mouths met, desire flared through his veins. He bent to catch her behind the knees, lifted her into his arms, and carried her up the stairs to the master suite. Clothes, boots, and shoes went flying. They fell on the bed, so hungry for each other that their lovemaking was almost frantic. Zach tried to hold himself in check and wait, but it had been too long. His body screamed for release.
“I’m sorry,” he told her.
“Need you,” she whispered. “Need you, need you, need you.”
Zach thrust deeply into her. She arched to meet him. As her wet heat enveloped him, he felt as if he’d been lost and had finally found his way home.
“Don’t ever leave me again,” she murmured against his shoulder. “Don’t ever, Zach. I don’t think I could bear it.”
Zach struggled to slow his pace, wanting to make this as pleasurable for her as it was for him. But when she said that and he heard the sincerity in her voice, he lost it. His body clenched. He pushed in deep. She cried out and met him with an eager tilt of her hips. They clung to each other as a galvanic climax rocked them to the core.
Afterward when they lay wrapped in each other’s arms and Zach had caught his breath, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and told her, “Never worry that I’ll leave you again, Mandy mine. This time around I’m here to stay.”
Epilogue
Six months later
Mandy stood in the vestibule of St. Catherine’s, so nervous her knees were knocking. She plucked at her wedding gown, readjusted her veil, and turned frantically to Luke, who was going to give her away. “Please tell me I didn’t just mess up my hair.”
The moment she spoke, Mandy realized how stupid that was. Her brother couldn’t see her, but he was managing so well on his own now that she occasionally forgot. He smiled slightly. “You didn’t. Your hair looks perfect, and so do you. When I smell beautiful, I know it, and you’re beautiful today, Mands. Absolutely beautiful.”
Mandy giggled. “You’re looking pretty darned good yourself.” Zach had chosen to wear a Western-style tux, insisting that all males in the wedding party follow suit. She straightened Luke’s bolo tie, a gift from Zach that sported a chunk of amber that glinted in the light coming through the windows. “You make a very handsome cowboy.”
Her brother grinned. “I hope Laurie thinks so.”
Luke and Laurie had been dating hot and heavy. She had her own car and was out at the ranch so often that Mandy was coming to think of her as a member of the family. Because Luke and Laurie were so young, Mandy doubted the relationship would last, but Frank Harriga
n, whom she now called Dad, assured her that twenty-year-old kids could and did fall in love and stay together. He and his first wife, Emily, had married young. He claimed that first loves were the truest and ran the deepest.
Mandy took that to be a good omen for her and Zach. He was her very first true love, and he often told her that she was his.
“You okay?” Luke asked. “Don’t do a runaway-bride thing on me. I can’t see to chase you down.”
Mandy hooked arms with him. “I am perfectly fine. I’m ready for this, Luke. I truly am. The last thing I want to do is run.”
And she meant that from the bottom of her heart. As promised, Zach had gone to counseling with her, never missing a single session, and afterward they’d spent hours talking about her feelings. Zach had also spent a lot of hours wanting to break into the prison and bludgeon her father, but for Mandy, even Zach’s anger had been healing. She knew now, deep within, that Zach would never be like her dad. He was funny, sexy, sweet, and always her rock, no matter how crazily her emotions oscillated.
Mandy couldn’t remember ever being so happy. Zach had built her a gorgeous greenhouse at the ranch where she could dabble with her plants, and he insisted that she start college as soon as possible to get a degree in horticulture so she could open her own nursery in town. Mandy had already quit her job and hoped to enroll at the university for the spring quarter.
Her life had become exciting, wonderful, and filled with promise.
She leaned over in front of Luke to pat Rosebud on the head. “Are you ready, sweetheart? Don’t let all those people in there make you feel nervous.”
“They won’t make her nervous,” Luke said. “She likes crowds. Her only problem today will be that you’re suddenly getting all the attention. She’s used to the spotlight.”
Mandy laughed. “Too bad, Rosebud. This is my day to shine.”
The mini had completed her training and, as Zach had predicted months before, she was an amazing guide animal. She had become Luke’s constant companion. Recently Zach had received notification that the agency in charge of the Americans with Disabilities Act had voted to ban many species as service animals, and horses of all sizes were on the list. Fortunately, the ruling hadn’t yet come into effect, and Zach had the financial support of his entire family to launch a campaign to get the ruling reversed. He vowed to take it clear to the Supreme Court, if necessary.
Mandy could only pray that the decision would be overturned. Rosebud would be with Luke until he was almost fifty, unless something unexpected happened. With Carly Coulter’s help, Luke now managed to get around quite well with a cane, but Rosebud gave him increased confidence, allowing him access to places where he might have hesitated to go without her. And she was such a little lady, perfectly mannered and calm, regardless of what went on around her. If she was banned as an assistance animal, Luke would keep her, utilizing her services in places where her status didn’t matter. But ideally, he should be able to have Rosebud accompany him to college. He was enrolled for the winter term, and the mini would make it a lot easier for him to find his way around.
Animals generally weren’t allowed in a Roman Catholic church proper, but Rosebud was welcome because she was a service animal. Father Mike, who’d given Mandy and Zach their marriage preparation classes, was choosing to ignore the rumors about horses being banned. He’d gotten to know Rosebud well over the last few months. An Irishman with a thick brogue, he’d said during the rehearsal last night that anyone who thought a mini guide horse like Rosebud was unfit to perform the task had a blindfold over his eyes.
Mandy heard the first strains of organ music and nervously clutched Luke’s arm. “She’s warming up. She’s going to play a couple of numbers before the wedding march. We need to listen for her cue. I don’t want to be late for my own wedding.”
As if Luke sensed her mounting anxiety, he bumped his arm against her shoulder. “So when are you and Zach planning to leave for your honeymoon?”
“After the reception. Cookie will have Tornado and Whirlwind in the trailer, ready to go, and we already packed our supplies.” Mandy and Zach planned a week in a California wilderness area. She couldn’t imagine anything more romantic, just the two of them and the horses, enjoying pristine lakes, fishing, and swimming, taking hikes to scenic spots, and making love whenever the mood came over them. Tornado had become Mandy’s horse. When she rode him, he was a perfect gentleman. Last week, he’d even allowed Zach to get on his back and he hadn’t acted up. Like Mandy, the stallion was finding his way back to sanity and leaving the past behind him. “Zach wants to be on the road before dark. We’ll spend tonight at the trailhead and head up in the morning.”
“I wish I could go.”
“No way, Luke. It’s our honeymoon.” Zach had gotten Luke a saddle similar to those that Bethany Kendrick used, and now Mandy’s brother went riding on the ranch practically every day. He loved it. “This spring we’ll go again, and you can go with us. But this time, you’re staying with Frank and Dee Dee.”
The opening thrum of the wedding march vibrated through the church. “That’s our cue,” Mandy whispered.
“Calm down. You look fabulous. I can smell beautiful, remember.”
Mandy lowered her veil and held fast to her brother’s arm. Together they stepped forward, Rosebud steadfast at Luke’s side. Mandy thought of all the people who would be staring at her as she walked up the aisle. The church was packed. The Harrigans, their many friends, and Sam’s in-laws were present. Even the filthy-rich Kendricks had accepted the invitation. In fact, Bethany and Ryan’s daughter, Chastity, was the flower girl. Clint’s son, Trevor, now ten, had been chosen as the ring bearer.
“Oh, God, maybe I’ll run after all.”
“Don’t you dare,” Luke whispered. “Just find Zach, Mands. Keep your eyes on him, and nothing else will matter.”
Luke was right. As Mandy stepped inside the church proper with her brother, she sought out Zach. He stood with his back to the altar to watch her walk toward him. The moment their gazes locked, all her anxiety drained away. It didn’t matter if her hair was mussed, or whether her train was trailing straight behind her. Zach loved her. And he was waiting, his expression solemn yet aglow with happiness.
The nuptial Mass was beautiful. Mandy anticipated making her vows with no sense of dread. With Zach’s support, she’d benefited greatly from the counseling sessions. She had come to understand herself and had learned to deal with her fears instead of always trying to run from them. She felt confident now, and she knew, deep in her heart, that Zach would be a wonderful, loving husband.
When it was her turn to say “I do,” Mandy looked into Zach’s eyes and said the words loudly, clearly, and with absolute certainty. Marriage truly was a life sentence, but it wasn’t in hell. It was going to be the closest thing to heaven that Mandy would ever find here on earth.
She loved this man. She wanted to fall asleep in his arms every single night and awaken beside him in the morning. She wanted to laugh with him, play with him, cry with him, and face the trials of life with him. How could any woman wish for more?
Zach Harrigan was her everything.
Special Note to My Readers
In the autumn of 2009, the U.S. Department of Justice, in charge of overseeing and enforcing the Americans with Disabilities Act, removed many species from the list of sanctioned assistance animals. With a heavy heart I must inform you that horses of all kinds have been banned. In my opinion, this is a shame, and I hope to see this ruling reversed soon. Please get on the Internet to inform yourself about mini guide horses, and if you would like to see this ruling reversed, please flood the Department of Justice with letters asking for more hearings to reconsider this law. Well-trained mini horses of an appropriate size are incredible service animals. Please join me in asking for horses to be returned to the list of sanctioned assistant animals, with strict regulations to govern their size and the quality of their training. Some sight-impaired individuals cannot have a guid
e dog, for one reason or another, and well-trained mini horses provide them with a viable alternative.
Signet is pleased to reissue another
long-out-of-print historical romance by
Catherine Anderson
Comanche Magic
Available May 2011 from Signet.
Turn the page for a brief excerpt. ...
July heat hung over the yard like a blanket. A cluster of bees hummed nearby, feeding on drips of whey that seeped through the butter muslin hanging from the fence.
Chase Wolf repositioned his shoulder against the pine tree and closed his eyes to absorb the smells. He smiled at the images they brought to mind of his boyhood and other July days when he had run wild along the creek that bordered his parents’ property.
This summer he didn’t reckon he’d be doing much running. The smile on his mouth thinned to a grim line. He considered rolling himself a smoke, then decided against it for fear it might make him cough. Coughing, like all other activities that called for muscle movement, was a luxury he couldn’t afford, not with three cracked ribs. This would teach him not to let any moss grow under his feet the next time two logs tried to make a sandwich out of him.
He heard the sound of feminine giggles coming from down along the creek. He listened for a second and identified one of the giggles as belonging to his sister, Indigo. Twenty-four to his twenty-five, she had a husband and two children now. He grinned. Leave it to her to beat the heat by playing in the creek. The other wives in town, including his ma, were at home doing household tasks, a fair number baking bread if the smells on the morning air were an indication.
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