“Good idea. Call me tomorrow? I’ll be worried.”
“Sure thing.”
Still feeling restless after all the talk about chakras and auras, I rolled over, grabbed my laptop and Googled “pheromones”. It could be pheromones, right? I mean I’d never felt the uncontrollable urge to jump on a man and wrap my legs around him before in my life. Yet every time I looked at Parker I could barely think of anything else. All he had to do was breathe the same air as me and I felt my self-control crumbling, and the things he could do with just a touch were obscene. I screamed into my pillow to release the frustration. What is happening to me?
Okay, where was I? Pheromones. Right. Well, according to some websites there is much controversy over whether or not they actually exist. Huh! Someone should have been conducting a study in my parking lot a few minutes ago!
After a little more searching my thoughts were confirmed when I found an interesting tidbit in The Smithsonian Magazine. Apparently, if a wild female boar gets a whiff of the pheromones emitted by her male counterpart “she’ll present her rear to the male”. Ugh! Can he really reduce me to such a primal level?
I wondered where he was right now. The Parker Blackwell I used to know was far too used to getting his way. He must be furious, or maybe trying to find Blondie’s number. The thought made my stomach turn.
With visuals of wild boars, primal instincts, chakras and auras swirling in my brain, I undressed and flung myself across the bed wishing I could rewind the day and somehow avoid the fateful meeting that had my insides tangled up in knots.
While I was deep in thought I must have missed the footsteps on the stairs, but the knock on my door sent my heart pounding through my chest. I grabbed my dress from the floor and held it against me as I peeked through the peep hole. Shit! It’s Mary and Tom!
“Lauren, honey, are you there?” Her voice was full of motherly concern.
Still clutching my dress with one hand I opened the door just a crack and felt my face flush as I saw the looks on their faces.
“I’m so sorry Mary. I wasn’t feeling well, and I had to turn in early. I asked Parker to let you know. Have you seen him?”
Mary and Tom exchanged glances. Then Mary gave a knowing smile.
I knew it! He must be with Blondie, or some other warm body that fell for his alarming good looks and boyish charm. Why does that sound like sarcastic regret, Lo?
“It’s all right, dear. We just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Mary nudged Tom.
He sputtered a bit then cleared his throat, cupping his hand in front of his mouth. They looked stunned, but strangely amused.
“Yes, we hope you’re feeling better tomorrow. Mary planned a wine tasting tour for us. Go ahead and get some rest. We’ll meet you in the lobby at noon.”
Their reaction puzzled me. Then suddenly the fear of spending another day with Parker sent a million crazy excuses spinning wildly through my brain. Before I could choose the perfect one, Mary tugged Tom’s hand, and the two of them walked away arm in arm.
Fuck! Could this get any better? The truth is I didn’t have the heart to lie to them, and I didn’t really want to. But the thought of another round with Parker was, was…
I slid the covers over me and tried to block the thought of this night and that man out of my mind. I needed to sleep on it. Things would seem clearer in the morning.
Just as I was drifting off Jake’s ringtone came blaring from my cell phone.
“Hey, were you sleeping?”
The sound of his voice made me smile. “Not yet. How’s the project going?”
“It’s going.”
I could tell from his tone it wasn’t going well. “That doesn’t sound too convincing. What’s going on?”
Jake is a commercial project manager in charge of several trades. He’s under constant pressure to meet next to impossible deadlines, but he’s well equipped to handle it. He’s a technical guy. Straight-laced, organized and dependable. In many ways he’s the complete opposite of Parker Blackwell.
A twinge of guilt washed over me as I listened to Jake explain why he wouldn’t be able to make it home until late Sunday night. I wanted to tell him what happened, but I knew it wasn’t the right time.
“So, I guess I’ll see you Sunday night then?” He finished.
My mind had wandered from our conversation. Suddenly thoughts of Jake, the Jake I fell in love with flashed through my mind. What happened to us?
“Ah, yeah. My place?”
“Absolutely. See you then.” With those final words he hung up the phone.
I knew he wasn’t one for pleasantries. He would often hang up without saying goodbye or I love you, but this time the disappointment gnawed at me a little more than usual. I needed him, and his abrupt departure left me feeling even more alone.
Five
YOU CAN’T GO BACK
As soon as my eyes opened images of what happened the night before replayed in my head. I needed coffee, a shower and a plan in that order. I headed for the kitchen trying to imagine what the day would bring.
There was one thing I was sure of. Parker Blackwell was dangerous. The emotions that stirred inside of me when I was close to him were… My body began to recall how his hands and mouth had me on the edge, but my mind quickly stopped it from going there.
I remembered Nina’s warning and decided I would dress much less provocatively around him. After all, I didn’t want to give him any indication that I was interested in anything more than his friendship or invite him to repeat what happened the night before, because honestly if there was a next time I wasn’t sure I could resist.
I went to the closet and chose a girlish sundress. No cleavage, not too much leg, and definitely no sexy shoes. Yep, simple flat flip-flops would do. Oh, and a ponytail. I don’t know why, but guys hate ponytails. Jake does anyway. Yep! Today I would be “plain Jane” as my mom would say.
Proud of myself I strutted off to the shower. He might be bigger than me now, stronger than me, but there’s one thing I was sure of—he wasn’t smarter than me. I was going to enjoy the day with Mary and Tom and keep Parker in check. I wouldn’t let him push my buttons. Nope. Today was going to be a great day.
I rounded the corner to the lobby feeling confident that I could keep his pheromones in check, especially with my new plain Jane look, which I was pulling off flawlessly. Tom and Mary were waiting on the bench by the door, and their faces lit up when they saw me. I looked around quickly my heart beating faster. Where is he?
Reading the look on my face, Mary spoke up, “He went to get us coffee, dear. He’ll be right back.”
God! Am I that obvious? Don’t be a wild boar, Lo!
“Oh, who?” I feigned indifference. Mary smiled.
Right on cue Parker entered looking just as deliciously seductive as he did last night…with his head leaning back against the wall. Stop it, Lo!
“Tom this one’s for you.” He reached in front of me and handed Tom his to-go cup.
“Mary, your chai tea.” Mary smiled up at him sweetly.
“And for you, Lauren, vanilla latte. I don’t know what you like, but I’m sure vanilla is a safe bet,” he winked at me as he handed me my cup. “Oh, and here’s your room key. I forgot to give it back to you last night.”
All the color drained from my face as it went instantly blank. My mouth dropped open, and I glanced quickly at Mary and Tom, their eyes were wide, their expressions priceless.
I forced a stiff smile and replied through gritted teeth, “Why thank you Parker. I see you’re just as thoughtful as ever this morning. And thank you for walking me to my room last night. I was so sick I had all I could do not to vomit all over your expensive shoes. I must have rushed to the bathroom so fast that I didn’t even remember to ask for my room key back.”
Bastard! Nice save, Lo. I sure hope they believed you.
Mary and Tom were looking at us, and I could tell by their expressions they weren’t sure what to make of our little exchange.
I changed the subject quickly, “Are we ready to go?”
“I’m ready,” Mary sighed. “I’ve been waiting to take this tour for fifteen years. This is the first time Tom agreed to it.”
She pulled a brochure from her purse. “Our first stop will be Chateau Fontaine, and Parker volunteered to be our designated driver for the day. Isn’t that nice, Lo?”
“Yes. He’s such a nice guy that Parker. A perfect gentleman really,” I managed.
He eyed me suspiciously. I knew he was trying to get me to engage, but I had outsmarted him for now. He must be disappointed, confused even. Poor guy!
Tom held the door, and I followed Mary out into the sunlit sidewalk. I hoped he would get the picture. I’m not going to join him in his silly little dance today. But when Jim, our valet, pulled up with his car I almost caved.
I’ve seen plenty of fancy sports cars up here, and I knew exactly what kind of arrogant rich boys were behind the wheel-the kind that used Daddy’s bankroll to pay for them. The bastard drives a Mercedes! And not just any Mercedes. I don’t even recognize the model!
When Jim got out it was clear that even he was impressed. “This is one beautiful car, sir. I’ve never seen one like it, and I’ve parked a lot of ‘em over the years.”
Parker was instantly intrigued. “Thanks. Yeah, she’s a beauty! A Maybach Landaulet to be exact.”
Letting out a long low whistle, Jim opened the back door for Mary and continued talking about the car. “Bet you got her after winning the WTP in Australia, huh?”
“Nope. After that one I bought the Aston Martin One-77, but I thought the Mercedes would be more comfortable for my passengers.” Parker smirked at me.
My mind was clinging to the word ‘WTP’. Did he mean World Tournament of Poker? Parker is a poker player?
I should’ve known he wouldn’t choose a professional career, like a doctor or lawyer, although his parents’ money could have paid for either. But a poker player? By the looks of this car he must be quite successful, unless his mommy was funding everything. I couldn’t help myself. I was desperate to find out.
It took all the determination I had to keep my mouth shut as we drove up the coast. Mary took the liberty of filling in the silence, and her endless chatter provided a welcome relief. The longer we drove the lighter the mood became. Until we were all laughing comfortably and talking about all sorts of things together.
At one point Mary was telling us about a funny argument that occurred between Sarah and her new husband over the number of children they each wanted. Everyone was laughing, and from the corner of my eye I saw Parker looking at me. Things were going well so far. Better than expected, really, that is until he suddenly changed the direction of the conversation.
Looking in the rear view mirror he asked Tom and Mary, “Did you know our Lauren is engaged? Tell us all about your fiancé, Lo. What’s he like? I’ll bet he’s a real swell guy.”
Our Lauren? Swell guy? Since when does Parker say swell? I knew exactly what he was trying to do.
I could hear the excitement in Mary’s voice from the backseat. “Lo, you never mentioned you were engaged! Congratulations, dear! Where is the lucky fella? I’d love to meet him.”
“Yes, where is the lucky fella, Lo?” Parker mocked as he looked at me with those piercing green eyes full of mischief.
I’ll be damned if I’m going to let this asshole slam Jake! He couldn’t measure up if he tried! Be careful. Don’t take the bait, Lo!
I forced a smile and laughed casually. “His name is Jake,” I said, looking Parker straight in the eye, “And he’s amazing. Too bad he’s out of town this weekend. I know he’d love to meet you, too.” Rolling my eyes I returned my attention to the view out the passenger window.
“Well, too bad for him, huh? I mean that he’s out of town.” The corners of his mouth curled slightly when he smiled. And then it happened. The air seemed still, and I had to crack my window to breath. Pheromones. Damn him! I mean can he really use them on demand?
When he looked my way again I flipped him the bird cautiously so that our passengers couldn’t see, and his eyes grew wide as he clutched his chest in fake shock. He was impossible!
“Enough about me, Parker. Who’s the lucky lady in your life these days? Or should I say ladies?”
“I travel too much to have a lady,” his voice trailed off at the end sending a subtle message to me.
I knew exactly what he meant. There were many and probably none of them ladies. The thought made me squirm in my seat and had me adjusting my seatbelt to get comfortable. Time to change the subject!
The sign announcing we had arrived at the first winery was a welcome relief. I exhaled deeply as I exited the car and smiled at the sight of Mary anxiously tugging Tom toward the building. I started to follow after them when Parker’s voice stopped me in my tracks.
“Lo, wait a minute.”
“Yeah, I’ll wait a minute alright!” I spun around to face him, taking the room key out of my purse and tossing it at him. “What kind of stunt was that anyway? I’m sure some woman at my hotel is hoping this is a sign you’ll be back for round two tonight, huh?”
“It’s my room key, Lo. It was just a joke. Mary was asking me fifty questions about where I was last night. I think she was suspecting I was with you, so… It was too easy. I’m sorry. I should’ve thought about it I guess, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about.”
My stomach did a back flip and tied itself into a million double knots. I was afraid to turn around, and as I watched the door close behind Mary and Tom I knew I had to face him, all six feet of deliciously sculptured, dangerously fuckable, and extremely frustrating Parker Blackwell. It took everything I had not to want him more than my next breath.
“Look, Parker, if this is about last night I…”
“What do you mean if Lo? It’s more than just last night. It’s the way you’ve made me feel ever since I met you, the way you feel when you’re with me.”
My heart was slamming in my chest. I couldn’t deny how much I wanted him. What the fuck did he want from me?
“The way I feel? Being with you is torture. Everything’s a game to you, Parker. Whatever we had or whatever we were when we were kids, it’s still the same. I mean it’s different. Fuck, I don’t know what I mean anymore! What I do know is that you left me. You left me when I needed you the most, and now we can’t go back.”
Frustration got the best of me and as much as I wanted to explain, I couldn’t find the right words. Then it came to me. “We’re all grown up now. I’m a business owner. You’re a poker player. I’m engaged, and you’re still putting notches in your bedpost.”
Parker was looking at the ground, his brow creased. He looked deep in thought, and I could see the storm brewing as his eyes grew dark. I held my breath and braced myself for the backlash, but instead his voice was surprisingly calm. Almost too calm.
“Lo, I understand why you’d think that, and in a lot of ways you’re right. I can’t deny the number of women I’ve been through. With my looks, personality and profession it kind of goes with the territory. But honestly none of them has ever challenged me like you do. Not one. I know what you need, Lo, and I want to give it to you. I should have never left you back then. If you’d give me a chance I could make it up to you. I want to give you everything. We understand each other.”
Things were moving too fast, and my mind was whirling. I tried to steer the conversation away from what we both knew was hanging in the balance. The things left unsaid, the chemistry, the unresolved. “They haven’t challenged you? How could that be possible? I mean with your looks, personality and profession?” I fired back, covering my face then shoving my hands deep into my hair.
I couldn’t look at him, but I felt his eyes studying me. That’s when I realized I had two reactions whenever I was near him. I either wanted to run away or fight. Fight him. Fight myself. It was fight or flight. All or nothing, and when we engaged like this I had to resist the u
rge to rip his clothes off and unleash my pent up frustration on him. He was like a shot of tequila, tempting, strong and unpredictable. Would the initial burn be worth the invincible feeling waiting on the other side, or would I just lose control?
“You’re right, Lo. Some things are the same. You still put your hands in your hair when you’re frustrated. You hide your face when you don’t want me to see what’s going on behind those beautiful yellow eyes of yours. You’re still my fantasy, and we’re still like gasoline and fire together. So, I have to know, does this man you plan to marry really know you? Does he make you passionate, push you until you’re ready to unravel?” He paused as if he were waiting for me to answer. “I already know the truth. If he did you wouldn’t be here right now.”
“You have no idea, Parker! Jake loves me. He wants what’s best for me, and he’s not going anywhere. You on the other hand? You’re a gamble. You always have been, and whether it’s seven, ten or twenty years later you always will be.”
“You’re settling, Lo. I can see it all over your face.”
“That’s the best you can come up with? Well, I’m sorry you’ve grown bored with having one meaningless encounter after the next, but whatever twisted idea you have about me and you it’s never going to work! I’m not here for your entertainment, and I don’t base my life on challenges, silly games or bets for that matter. We’d be crazy to think that we could last more than one hour together let alone a lifetime! And you think I’m settling? That I’d be so much better off with you? Do these lines really work for you, Parker? Please! You’ll never know what I need!”
I fully expected the backlash at any moment, but once again nothing. In fact, the mischievous smile was back. “Who said anything about a lifetime? Let’s try an hour first.”
Before I knew what was happening, he grabbed me around the waist and hoisted me over his shoulder.
“Put me down!” I screamed pounding his back.
I hoped someone in the parking lot would witness my abduction and stop him. He must have thought so too and quickly set me back on my feet, dragging me by the hand instead.
Just Fall (The Fall Series) Page 4