The crackle and gleam of the fire made me feel warm and safe. Fire would help repel thralls and other creatures. My Blood would usually see to any such threats, but if we were all involved in trying to subdue the jaguar god…
The last thing we needed was a pack of thralls to fall upon us, too.
Besides, fire was meditative and relaxing. If I needed help clearing my mind or focusing on the mirror, staring into the flames might help.
I sat on one of the logs closest to the fire, and Maxtla held out the case for me. My fingers trembled as I flipped open the latch and lifted the lid. The white cloth gleamed in the darkness. A trick of flickering firelight made it seem as if the embroidered god danced in place. Steeling myself, I pushed the cloth aside and lifted out the obsidian mirror.
I’d forgotten how heavy it was. It was an inch thick and wide enough that with my thumbs touching and fingers spread, I could barely touch the edges. Gingerly, I laid the mirror on my lap. Even though I hadn’t activated it yet, I still didn’t want to look directly into it. Instead, I stared out over the water, listening to the night sounds. No boats, no people, just the quiet lap of water against the rocks. An owl hooted further down the shoreline, echoing across the water.
Eztli crouched down in front of me, but to my left so I could still see the fire. Maxtla took up position behind me, so I could feel his heat against my back. Luis and Diego joined us, still in their jaguar forms. Luis stretched out on the log beside me, and Diego hopped up on a large boulder that overlooked the little makeshift camp.
They were prepared for any threat, but I wasn’t ready. I didn’t feel centered. This place was beautiful, but it wasn’t mine. The land and plants didn’t respond to me. “Can you take off my shoes and socks? If I can touch the ground with my bare feet, I think I’ll feel more centered.”
“Of course.” Eztli immediately slipped off my shoes and socks.
I wriggled my toes into the sandy pebbles, soaking in the cool textures against my skin. Something deep within the earth stirred, like a monstrous dinosaur slowly lifting its head or twitching its tail. Slumberous energy pulsed beneath my feet as the land began to respond to me.
Yes. I pulled out a piece of the tree I’d picked earlier and crushed the needles in my hand, breathing in their spicy scent. I even touched one of the green needles to my tongue, tasting the sharp bite of pine.
Closing my eyes, I allowed my magic to bubble up from within me like a crystal-clear spring. This land was sick and weak, but it was starting to respond to me. No one had cared for it in centuries. It’d been paved in concrete and trod upon by millions of human feet, without a single gift of energy back into the land that made their lives possible. This wasn’t my land to nurture, but it made me mourn for what we had lost. So few queens remained, and even fewer had the kind of land connection that I carried. If we lost House Zaniyah, would any other healer be able to step into my shoes and nurture our lands? Or would the forests and fields wither with disease and die?
I knew the answer. Earth would lose this magic and the land itself would die along with it. Forests would become barren wastelands, fields blasted into deserts, and even parks like this would be useless.
The only reason I was here now was a severe drought that was slowly drying up even the largest lakes across the state.
My magic would help, at least somewhat, but if I died… If I never had a child to continue our line, I feared for what our world would become.
I opened my eyes and stared into the shining black circle on my lap. Firelight glinted on the surface, but there wasn’t any moonlight to brighten the it.
“It’s time,” I whispered softly, looking at each of my Blood. “I don’t know what will happen when I activate the mirror. I don’t know how Aztlán will be revealed, let alone Tezcatlipoca. But I do know one thing. I love you all.”
Each of them said, “I love you, my queen.”
Eztli touched my knee lightly as he shifted to his mighty jaguar. :I love you more than life itself. You will take your jaguar god tonight.:
I lifted my trembling left hand to his mouth, and he carefully punctured my index finger with one of his canines. Not too much blood, at least not yet. I had no idea how much I’d have to bleed before this was over.
The first drop of my blood splattered on the glossy black surface of the mirror.
I held my breath, waiting for something to happen. Maybe the earth would crack open. Trees would sway in a sudden hurricane. Rushing waters would reveal a magical island. Something. Surely.
I continued staring into the mirror. Waiting. My heartbeat thundered in my ears.
From a distance, I heard a jaguar roar. It sounded like Eztli, but it was so far away. Disoriented, I looked up, but he wasn’t there. Everything was gone. An enormous fog bank had rolled in, wiping away the world.
My stomach quivered uneasily, but I made myself look back into the mirror. I stared back at my reflection, suddenly painfully clear despite the murky fog.
My eyes were huge, wide with fear and glistening with tears. My lips trembled. Blood dribbled from my bottom lip. I swiped at my lip and chin, afraid too much blood would drop onto the mirror, but the blood didn’t smear at all in the reflection.
I looked at my fingers, and there wasn’t any blood on them. I ran my tongue over my teeth, and my fangs hadn’t descended.
My stomach churned harder, my breathing a short, quick pant.
I couldn’t hear anything, not even the gentle lapping of the water. I inhaled deeply, but I couldn’t smell my jaguars, either.
Had I already been sucked into the mirror? Was I lost to my Blood and my family?
I searched my reflection, trying to see anything on the other side that might be a clue. Firelight flickered around my image in the mirror.
It was too late. I was already doomed to Tezcatlipoca’s domain, and I hadn’t even seen him yet.
I looked back into my own eyes in the mirror. My mouth moved on the other side, and though I couldn’t hear the words, I knew what I said, because the words echoed in my head.
It’s too late. It’s over.
A surge of anger made me narrow my eyes, though my reflection didn’t change. The fuck it was too late. I wasn’t giving up yet. Not by a long shot.
I looked around me, trying to see through the murk. Fog swirled and flowed around me, almost like I was in an airplane flying through a cloud bank. “Help!”
At least I could hear my own voice. That was something, wasn’t it?
“Tezcatlipoca, Smoking Mirror, Lord of Darkness and Sorcery, I come to you in search of your jaguar aspect, Tepeyollotl.”
I turned, slowly, straining to see anything through the clouds.
“I call jaguars.”
Nothing but my own words echoed back at me.
What had Grandmama said about the mirror? I tried to remember her words exactly.
It would show me truths about myself, and I might not like them. People had gone mad rather than face the truths they saw staring back at them.
I looked back at myself, and yeah, the pitiful, terrified look on my face infuriated me. I knew I was stronger than that. I had searched the world for twenty years to find the mythical Aztlán. I had called four jaguar Blood. I had carefully honed my power, year after year. I’d built my nest’s defenses to better protect my child, if only I could have her. Not even the queen of New York City had been able to break through yet, and she was the most powerful queen in the Americas.
I had the nerve to search out one of the most feared and respected Aztec gods, with the presumptuous hope that he’d be willing to sire my child. That he’d be willing to fuck an Aima queen, when he had likely spent an eternity working his way through the Aztec goddesses of Aztlán.
What hope did I have of calling him to my side? Let alone convincing him to sire my child?
Confusion flickered through me. Was I weak and scared? Or was I arrogant beyond belief?
Staring at myself in the mirror, I had to admit tha
t I was both. I was terrified. I wasn’t a strong queen by any stretch, and though I was stronger now than when Grandmama had first passed the Zaniyah queendom to me, I was still only a minor queen. I always would be, even if I managed to have a daughter.
Even so, I was determined to do everything in my power, even attempt to bend a god to my will, in order to have her.
My power wasn’t earthshattering, but I’d always felt fulfilled and grateful for the blessings Coatlicue had granted me. I loved being able to heal people. I enjoyed caring for my lands. I loved touching a seed and giving it an extra little push with my power, willing it to grow strong, and then watching it do exactly that.
As I willed.
I focused on my image again, determined to drive the fear out of my eyes. You are stronger than this. You are strong enough. For anything.
The Mayte on the other side lifted her chin slightly. Her eyes narrowed. She licked the blood from her lip.
Yes. It’s working.
I tipped my face up to the swirling sky and shouted, “Tezcatlipoca! I need your help, Great Lord of Darkness. Lord of the Night, please come to my aid!”
I checked the reflection to see if anything had changed.
The other Mayte smiled at me and her mouth moved again. Thank you.
Then she turned away, and all I saw where my reflection had been was a black, empty hole.
8
Eztli
I’d accepted the fact that I might die on this expedition. In fact, it was likely, as far as I was concerned. I wouldn’t give up my position by my queen’s side, let alone in her heart, easily. If the jaguar god wanted to have her, he would have to go through me first.
But my very worst nightmare was now unfolding before me. My queen looked up from the mirror, but it wasn’t her. Her eyes were completely black. She didn’t know me. She didn’t even know herself.
“Mayte? My queen?”
Ignoring me, she stood and walked into the water.
I plunged after her and seized her arm, but I couldn’t seem to hold on to her. She wasn’t fighting or resisting me—my hands simply slid off her. I couldn’t stop her. She walked deeper and deeper into the water, and I could only watch in horror as the water inched up to her neck. Then to her chin.
She’s going to drown. Just like her mother.
No. I couldn’t bear to lose her. If anyone had to die tonight, it should be me. I had already envisioned it countless times. I would gladly die so she could have her heart’s desire. I could already see her smiling down at a baby girl, a tiny mirror image of her mother.
Her head sank beneath the water and I roared with fury. I grabbed for her again and touched her. I felt her skin against my fingers, but my grip wouldn’t hold. I couldn’t pull her back to me, to safety, no matter how hard I tried. Her hair swirled in the water, sweeping over my fingers one last time. Then she was gone.
I dived into the water, straining to see even a glimpse of her skin. I had to find her. My queen. My heart. My soul. If I lost her…
Something slammed into me like a freight train. I stared up at a night sky glittering with thousands of diamonds. But I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt like it’d been caved in by a heavy weight.
No, that was merely my empty ribcage. My heart was gone. Dead. With my queen.
“You would die for her?” The low voice came from nowhere. Everywhere.
I strained to move. To even breathe. I had to get up. I had to find her. Drag her out of the water. She was an Aima queen. My queen. It wasn’t too late to save her.
But all I managed to do was tip my chin down slightly. A massive dark shape sat on top of my chest. No wonder I couldn’t breathe.
The shape moved, lowering its heavy head down toward me. Jaguar. The biggest fucking cat I’d ever seen in my life. I was alpha, but this cat was…
God.
His coat was jet black and as shiny as the obsidian mirror. Instead of large golden eyes, he had two black eyes that reflected my own image back at me. I could see myself in his eyes. The stunned look on my face. Lines of grief etched around my eyes and mouth. The tears shining in my eyes. I couldn’t bear to live without my queen. Better that I died, and she lived, happy with this god she’d managed to call, than for me to live a single moment without her.
“Interesting,” the giant jaguar said. Then as casually as if he were a house cat, he stepped down off me, and went to sniff her other jaguars.
I pushed to my feet and wavered a moment, my head spinning. My queen. I had to find her.
“Sit,” the jaguar growled, not even looking at me, though I felt his command roll through my body like an earthquake.
I sat. Hard. On the ground, right where I’d been standing.
I might be alpha, but he was the jaguar god, and my beast didn’t hesitate to obey him. I didn’t even remember shifting back to my human form.
“Think, alpha,” he said mockingly. “Remember exactly what you saw. What is real? What is only a vision?”
I jerked my gaze away from the lake and looked back to where my queen had been sitting. She still sat on the log, staring intently into the obsidian mirror on her lap.
When her head sank beneath the water, her hair had been loose, even though I had braided her hair with my own hands this morning. The whole thing had been a vision. Now I couldn’t breathe because of relief, not agony.
The black jaguar sat on his haunches and watched her, his tail flicking back and forth. He watched her so intently that the hairs on my nape prickled. Other than his tail, he didn’t move, but he was poised, ready to pounce. To feast? To rip her to shreds? I had no idea.
“What are you waiting for?” I asked hesitantly.
He didn’t look away from her. “To see if she lives or dies.”
Mayte
I stared at the empty mirror, my mind shaken. What did it mean? Was I dead? Would I be trapped here in this gray nothingness forever?
“What is your name?” A deep voice rumbled through the fog.
Shivering, I clutched the mirror harder and willed my voice not to falter. “Mayte Zaniyah.”
“You have passed the first test, Mayte Zaniyah.”
I didn’t know whether to feel relieved that I’d passed—or sick with dread at the thought of more tests. I didn’t know how much more my mind could take.
I’d never been so alone. So lost. It was a terrible feeling.
Even growing up without my mother or father, I’d had Grandmama. I’d had my twin brothers. There were countless people in our nest that I’d seen every single day. I couldn’t recall a time where I’d been as alone as I was in this moment, surrounded by endless gray fog. My mind kept searching for something recognizable, like a landmark, or at least a color. Something other than the fog swirling from nowhere.
“You called me, Mayte Zaniyah. What do you want?”
Tezcatlipoca. I’d done it. I’d managed to call him from his resting place. I gulped with nerves, frantically searching the fog. Where was he? What did he look like? What would he do to me?
“Well? I grow impatient, queen.”
At least he knew what I was, though I thought I detected a bit of sarcasm in his voice, as if his lip had curled with disdain. “I want a child. A daughter. To carry on the Zaniyah line.”
A rough sound echoed through the fog. At first, my nerves shrilled with terror, but then I realized he was laughing.
And that pissed me off.
“I’ve looked for you for twenty years.”
He grunted with disgust. “You looked with your eyes. You made your plans and plotted your maps and wasted twenty years looking for a fairytale. You didn’t look with your heart. You didn’t look with your blood. Because you knew if you looked with magic, you would find what you sought immediately. Aztlán isn’t a place on a map. It’s not at this lake you’ve searched for so diligently. Aztlán is accessed through the mirror. Through yourself. You could have touched Aztlán at any time once you had the mirror at your disposal.”
&
nbsp; Blinking rapidly, I hunched my shoulders, my arms curling over my chest as if he’d struck me. I couldn’t breathe.
He’d wounded me, definitely, but only with the truth.
“I’m a coward,” I whispered, brushing tears away.
The mirror suddenly lit up, drawing my gaze to the image unfolding. I stared at my bedroom at home. My bed, covered with the quilt Grandmama had made for me ages ago. Eztli strode into the room, carrying me. He tossed me onto the bed, and I squealed with laughter. It made me smile, my eyes filling with happy tears.
“You were given much to love. Yet you never embraced it fully.”
I wasn’t sure what Tezcatlipoca meant, until the image blurred, and I was in the hotel bed with all four of my Blood. My cheeks heated at the raw sexuality. The mirror confronted me with my desire.
But they touched me differently this time. Eztli didn’t seduce me with a slow, gentle massage.
He had his hand fisted in my hair so tightly that my scalp screamed with sensation, my head pinned back against him.
Luis and Diego didn’t carefully suck on my nipples. They bit. They tugged. It hurt.
Even here, on the smoky side of the mirror, I felt that pain throb through my breasts, shooting fiery streams of lust straight down to my pussy.
I swallowed hard, fighting down the lust. That wasn’t me. Was it? Shame squeezed my throat shut. I averted my face, refusing to look at the image any longer, though I could feel the dampness between my thighs. I ached with need. To be touched.
To be hurt.
Tezcatlipoca let out a rumbling growl that made the hairs on my arms stand up. My heart thudded and skipped with terror. I had never heard a wild jaguar make that sound before, but I recognized it for what it was.
A warning that my time was up. He was going to kill me.
I had failed the test.
I made myself look back at the mirror, hoping that would quell his anger, but the mirror had gone black again.
Realms and Rebels: A Paranormal and Fantasy Reverse Harem Collection Page 120