by J. R. Rain
“Of course,” said Lucifer. “But they can’t see you. Life vibrates on a different frequency from death.”
“But I thought I’m dead.”
“You are looking at souls, Mr. Spider. Your flesh is dead, yes, forever trapped in your own dead body.”
“So how can I see them?” I asked. “If they can’t see me.”
Lucifer threw back his head. “I’m not the Prince of Darkness for nothing, bloodsucker. I have, as some say, mad skills.”
“Am I really in Seattle?”
“You’re in a semblance of it. Just as we were in a semblance of Key West.”
“So Purgatory overlays the real world.”
Lucifer leaned down and stared into the blank eyes of a woman pushing a shopping cart down what I knew to be First Street, very near Pike Place Market, which was the source of the fish smell. The woman pushed on, oblivious that Satan himself was just inches away.
“And how do they not see you?” I asked.
“Because there are rules in place, my boy.”
“I’m not your boy. What are the rules?”
“These souls are off limits. Untouchables, you could say. Neither fully evil nor fully good.”
I had a thought. “And where would the Count have ended up?”
“Purgatory, of course. Too weird for heaven...”
“But not evil enough for hell,” I said, recalling that the Count had been a doctor in life, before his obsession with Maria.
“Exactly,” said the Devil. “Except the good doctor made the unfortunate decision to sell me his soul.”
“In return for what? One day a decade with her corpse.”
“Hey, he’s the one with issues.”
“Which you fully exploited.”
“I take pride in my work, Mr. Spider.”
I had another thought. “And where did Maria end up?”
“Heaven. She was a sweet girl who went before her time. A devout Catholic.” Lucifer actually shuddered.
“So how did she end up in Key West? Possessing Parker, of all people?”
“Her decision. She’s here to help.”
“Help how?”
“Any way she can.”
“Except you have her,” I said.
“That’s not exactly right, Mr. Spider. I have Parker. Maria is just a bonus.”
“Since at the time she had been possessing Parker.”
“You’re smarter than you look, vampire,” said Lucifer. ‘Now are we going to do this?”
“Yes,” I said. “I’ll play along, but first tell me where you have Parker. She’s not dead. She can’t be in hell.”
“She’s in the next best thing,” said Satan, and I waited while the bastard drew it out.
“Where, goddammit?”
“An apt word,” said Lucifer. “She’s with, of course, the damned. Or, rather, those awaiting damnation.”
I considered his words, and considered what I knew of the netherworld. “The River Styx,” I said, referring to the mythological river where souls were transported into hell.
“Forever circling,” said the Devil, grinning.
“You never intended to release her.”
“Oh, I can’t keep her forever...just until she dies of natural causes, which shouldn’t be too long, since the River Styx really isn’t a river. Think of it as a sea of lost souls. We’ll add one more soon enough.”
“How do I get her back?”
“Well, you can go looking for her, but I warn you: the mortal entrance into the River Styx is hidden deep in the heart of Africa. Might take you decades to find it, if you find it at all.”
“You son of a bitch.”
“Probably,” said the Devil, grinning. “There is, of course, another way.”
“Our showdown,” I said.
“Very good, Spider. Now, are you ready?”
Chapter Twenty
He didn’t even give me a chance to answer.
Something crashed hard into my back and sent me flying head over heels. In fact, I somersaulted right over the devil’s head, so I know it wasn’t him that hit me. I landed on my feet and looked back down the sidewalk where I’d been standing only a moment before.
Four huge black dogs with spiked metal collars crouched there, haunches clenched, neck fur bristling. They were the size of Volkswagen Beetles, with slobber dropping from their huge mouths that were crammed way too full of yellow teeth.
“Your first test,” the devil said, and then he vanished.
The passersby on the street didn’t seem to notice the dogs—or me, for that matter. At least I didn’t have to worry about harming innocent bystanders. But this was Purgatory. Maybe nobody here was truly innocent.
The nearest dog growled at me, his breath as rotten as an open sewer. He took three long strides toward me, nearly causing the ground to shake. Lucifer had pulled off a nasty little bait-and-switch. I thought we’d be engaged in a battle of wits, but he’d changed the rules on me. Maybe I should have expected it.
“You cheated!” I yelled, and I thought I heard a rumble of laughter, but that might have been thunder or a streetcar.
That’s the last time I ever trust the devil, I thought, as I prepared for the creature’s attack.
As the dog bounded forward to spring at me, his ugly buddies circled around, sizing up the angles of attack. They moved in an experienced pack, which led me to think they must be Lucifer’s goon squad, the muscle who moved in when lost souls misbehaved. I had a feeling that only souls about to be torn apart could see them, and they were probably always patrolling Purgatory. But I didn’t have much time for a philosophical debate at the moment. I was too busy making sure my ass didn’t get chewed off.
When the top dog lunged, I sidestepped and tried to kick it as it hurtled past. It sounded almost like a freight train, and my foot bounced off of it like it was made of metal.
The dog dug its paws into the concrete, throwing up sparks and chunks of gravel with the impact. The other three hellhounds closed in, their eyes glinting red.
“Come on, Cujos,” I said, wiggling my fingers in a beckoning motion. “Let’s boogie.”
The pack leader charged again and this time I did a flip and landed on its back, grabbing the collar with one hand. It began bucking and snarling, trying to toss me like a rodeo cowboy. I yanked one of its ears and it howled in pain.
I’m an animal lover by nature. And not just for sucking their blood. I often have cats as pets, and sometimes bats and rats, but I didn’t have room to show mercy here. I jerked back on the collar, hoping to choke the dog into unconsciousness.
The other three dogs closed in as we spun, their jaws snapping and teeth clacking. I let go of the ear of the dog I was riding and hurled a punch right into the wet nose of one of them. It gave a whine and backed away, but the other two took the opportunity to grab me by each leg. Their teeth barely penetrated my pants but they shook me like a chew toy, pulling me off my ride. I let go of the collar and the top dog turned, wheezing for breath.
There I hung, suspended between the jaws of the two dogs, while the ugly beastie padded up to me, licking his chops. I couldn’t see the other dog, but I sensed it behind me. Plus he had a serious case of doggie breath.
I kicked and squirmed but couldn’t break free. It looked like I was going to be a Milkbone for these demonic mutts.
The weirdest part was that everybody just kept walking right on by, to whatever business lost souls had in the Purgatory of Seattle. I even thought I recognized one of them, a hipster blonde that I might have bitten a few years back. Which got me to thinking: what if my soul was wandering around here somewhere?
But once again I had no time for philosophical musings. It was Spider Time.
I let my weight sag so that the two dogs holding me were able to back up a few steps, then I scissor-kicked as hard as I could. My ass bounced off the concrete but I was able to whip the two dogs together so that their skulls cracked. They both released me and started yipping and y
apping like a couple of Chihuahuas. I shoved my feet into their moist snouts, tumbling them backwards so that they lay comically paddling their paws in the air.
I rolled to my feet and did a backflip just as the beastie boy behind me charged. I grabbed him by the ears and reeled myself until my mouth was near his neck. All this combat and danger had elongated my fangs, and they were practically throbbing. I drove them into the dog’s flesh.
The dog twitched and jerked as its blood spilled into my mouth. I’ve fed on many kinds of creatures, but dog’s blood was about the most disgusting I’ve ever tasted. Besides, I didn’t want the poor mutt to turn and be stuck as a hellhound bloodsucker in a land where souls had no blood to give him, so I just let enough of the stuff spill out to weaken him to the point of collapse.
That left only Top Dog.
We squared off, him back on his haunches, growling deep in his throat, his mouth and snout one big quivering, slobbering knob of rage.
“Hey, handsome,” I said. “Quite a smile you got there.”
And it was quite a smile. I could have sworn his teeth were yellowed and sharp earlier, way too long and way too many of them. But now, in the weird half-light of Purgatory Seattle, they glinted a little.
Silver?
It was just like the devil to change them into the element that could damage me the most. I don’t know why I expected him to fight fair. Maybe it was that charming handshake thing that threw me off.
So all I had to do was wrangle this big mutt without letting him nip me. No problem.
As he charged, I sidestepped, grabbed a metal trash can beside a bus stop, and swung it like a matador flagging down a raging bull. Only in this case, I let his speed ram his head deep inside the can, with the top stuck down around his shoulders. Barks resonated inside the metal shell, probably driving him deaf. I kicked him in the rear for good measure, his stubby little tail swinging back and forth in anger.
The lost souls trudged on past, going about their business, oblivious to the battle that had just taken place. I turned, wiping doggie blood and saliva from my lips, when Lucifer reappeared in front of me.
“Well done, Spider,” he said, giving a mocking slow clap.
“I passed the test, now hold up your end of the bargain,” I said.
“Oh, that wasn’t a test,” he said. “That was a pop quiz.”
“You bastard,” I said.
He gave his trillion-dollar grin and winked. “Let’s see how you handle this.”
Chapter Twenty-one
But I was already forming a game plan.
You don’t get to live for nearly two hundred years and not have some street smarts, immortal or not. Any number of would-be attackers have brandished enough silver to kill me a hundred times over. But, to date, I’ve come out on top...and feasted on most of my attackers.
No, I didn’t feast on the Prince of Darkness—although the thought occurred to me, along with a deep shudder—but I decided to play his game. Actually, I had to play this game, if I wanted to save Parker. Oh, and save my own pale ass in the process.
As the Devil was about to level another doozy—and I sensed this one would have been much fiercer and deadlier than a pack of ravenous dogs—I did the only thing I could think of. That motherfucker wasn’t the only one with a trick or two up his sleeve.
So just like that, I teleported said pale ass out of there.
* * *
One minute I was standing in my own Seattle rip-off version of Purgatory about to face down Lucifer himself and the next I was crouching on the edge of an enormous escarpment looking out over a beautiful landscape.
My black jacket billowed out precariously behind me as the cold night air assaulted my senses. A wide valley spread out below me and, even in the darkness of the pre-dawn, I could easily make out the shapes of the elephants, gazelles, giraffe and other animals of the savannah that slumbered in the brush and the grass below me. I heard the cursory roar of a lion and the yelps of hyena going home to their lair after a night of scavenging.
What a hell of a night this had been. It’s almost as if it would never come to an end. If I hadn’t high-tailed it out of there when I had, my night would probably have been over in the next few instants. Nighty-night, Spider. Forever.
I yawned instinctively at the thought. Indeed, I could feel the sun creeping closer. Also instinctively, I knew dawn was less than two hours away. Right, I could place it down to the minute.
The teleportation thing wasn’t exactly new to me, it was one of the things that I had apparently ‘inherited’ from the vampire that had made me, but it wasn’t a talent that I used often. Even a very experienced vampire found teleportation tricky and that’s because it was based solely on a mental concept. Having decided to go somewhere, the teleporter had to hold a clear image of the place they wanted to be taken to; even the slightest deflection in the image or the train of thought could be disastrous.
I chuckled as I had that thought. I remembered watching Harry Potter trying to use the flue powder, their version of teleporting. Yes, kids, it was exactly like that...without the filthy fireplace. The image had to remain clear—or who knows where the hell you could end up.
For me, I knew exactly where I was and, as the realization sank in, I also realized why the sunrise was also about seven hours premature. I was in Africa. More precisely, I was in the Great Rift Valley...the Cradle of Life. I was crouched at the edge of the legendary Ngorongoro Crater and somewhere on the floor of this magnificent depression was the entryway to the Underworld.
The devil had made a mistake. He had assumed I didn’t know where the entrance into the Underworld was. Being dead for nearly two centuries...you hear some things. And, yeah, I had heard about this place. In fact, I had even seen pictures of it...
Now I had to find shelter for the day; there was just no way that I could find the river before the sun rose. I stood and jumped from the escarpment, taking leaps and bounds down the steep slope towards the valley floor. I made my way to the western side of the crater and the thickest part of the forest there. A meal would be great as well. I hate animal blood but if I had to partake there couldn’t be a better, more pure source in the world...as long as it wasn’t a hyena, I guess.
It had been years since I’d had to sleep in the ground. Yes, in the ground. It had been, I was certain, decades in fact. Now, as I sprinted towards the shelter of the trees beneath the west slope, I thought more carefully about how long it had actually been.
I was stunned to realize that it had been back in 1863. Near Port Hudson, Louisiana.
I had enjoyed the Civil War. I hadn’t even been turned for fifty years yet when that beautiful skirmish began. It had been a vampire’s dream and many of us had followed the battles for the never ending supplies of fresh blood.
Yeah, I know. You don’t have to say it.
I’m a monster.
But more accurately: I was a monster. Now, well, now I’m trying not to be so monstrous.
When I settled in at the Siege of Port Hudson, I had slept in the ground. There had simply been no other choice. No caves or basements to keep me out of the sun meant that the soil was the only safe alternative. Considering all the guilt-free feeding I was getting from the battlefield, I didn’t mind having to claw my way from under five feet of dirt and meticulously dust myself off every sundown.
I could see every creature who I shared the savannah with that night as clearly as if it were midday. They would soon be alerted to the fact that I was not a lost human stumbling about but a predator on the lookout for a quick, clean kill and a warm, nourishing meal. I heard the soft grunts of a lion pride close by. They were stalking some prey in the darkness. They grunted again and a skittish group of antelope decided to make a run for it. Right in my direction. The young buck went down with hardly a protest and when I raised my mouth from its neck many minutes later, I was fuller than I had been in weeks.
I found a huge and ancient tree in the forest valley and moved the fallen leaves
and debris from around its base. The soil was soft and moist. There must be water close by. I looked a little more carefully at the little forest, and realized I was in an old gully cut by a river, only there was no river there now.
What had happened to it? I wondered as I scooped out the last of the dirt from my new sleep hole. Where did it go?
Something told me that I was going to want to find that out. I yawned again. Yeah, just as soon as I got up.
I backed off my jacket and eased into the dugout feet first. When I was neatly tucked under the roots of the large tree, I spread the jacket over my head and hammered the sides of the hole with my fist allowing the mouth of my makeshift cave to collapse inward on itself, sealing me safely inside.
Chapter Twenty-two
Or maybe it wasn’t as safe as I thought.
I had scarcely closed my eyes against the heavy dirt above me when something wiggled beneath me. The next thing I knew, I was falling, grabbing at clumps of dirt and foul, moist air. I can see well in the dark, of course, but there was not much to see except tumbling stones. At least until I landed several seconds later with a massive splash.
Luckily, I didn’t need to breathe, or the wind might have been knocked out of me. A mortal would likely have been pulled under by the torrential current and drowned. But I kicked my way to the surface and looked overhead at the glistening dome of stone and earth above me. I was in a subterranean cavern of some sort, swept along on the frothing, dark water. I was riding some sort of underground river, and I had a sinking feeling that I knew just which river this was.
Styyx, the legendary river separating Earth from the Underworld.
I shouldn’t have been surprised, since the entrance to the Underwold wasn’t that far from where I’d dug my hole. But it seemed like a pretty big coincidence that I was being pulled right to where Lucifer wanted me. And also where Parker was.
I’m not much of a swimmer, so I just relaxed and let the current carry me along. I bounced off a few stones here and there, but nothing fatal. I could have flown up into the narrow airspace and cruised along in the dark, but I figured it was better to lay low. The other benefit of being underground is that I didn’t have to worry about the sunrise sneaking up on me.