by Ellis Leigh
She also had to deal with being back in a town where a stranger had told her she wasn’t welcome. The anxiety of another run-in with the big shifter only fueled her inner turmoil. Everything about the day felt off, everything about the moment wrong. Had she been home and on a job, she’d have backed out. Would have canceled and tried another time. But she wasn’t home, and she couldn’t back out. All she could do was follow her mate and hope her instincts were wrong. That everything about the afternoon wouldn’t turn out to be a mistake.
“My boss mentioned that the pack treats women oddly,” Alaska said as they mounted the stairs at the library, heading for the records room in the attic. Obviously clueless to her inner torment. “We need to look for records of reasons why that might be—news reports, anything odd about town politics, stories that don’t quite add up from the entire region.”
“All this work because the local pack treats women the same way every other one seems to.”
He jerked, nearly stopping. A telling physical reaction to what she’d said, though not one she knew how to interpret.
“Not all packs are the same, Beautiful.”
His tone set her wolf on edge, though she restrained the beast enough to keep her voice from rumbling with the force of her growl. “No, but most still treat women like commodities. Something they’ve bought and whose value fluctuates over time depending upon what the men need from them.”
Alaska grunted in response. No words, no true answer. Just that one rough noise. The conversation seemed to be over.
They spent the next several hours poring over old microfiche reels and even older copies of papers from a hundred-mile radius. Dust covered everything, dancing in the sunlight streaming through the windows and causing the world to fade a little. Zoe grew more anxious in the grime, and her mate definitely seemed to hate it as well. A fact that seemed to turn his mood more sour as the day ran on.
“Fuck, I need my computer,” he muttered as he yanked a page up and flipped it over. He’d been reading through the old, yellowed newspapers from the county herald—apparently, that wasn’t going well. “I can’t put my finger on it, but I’ve seen something like this before. The lack of info, the isolation, the women not having any face in local media. You still haven’t seen a single picture of a woman in any of the files or records?”
“Not a one. Only men from the area.” Zoe scanned through more microfiche, the machine whirring as the images and text flashed across the screen.
Alaska suddenly growled and slammed his fists onto the table. “I can’t remember what pack this reminds me of.”
“Memory fading in your old age?”
He huffed, the wrinkle of newsprint telling her he’d gone back to searching through the paper. “When you’re over a millennium old, things start to go, I guess.”
Once again, the hair on the back of her neck stood up, and something within her told her to run. Millennium, he said. That was a thousand years. Shifters didn’t live that long, at least none that she’d ever heard of. He was either lying, exaggerating, or…immortal. None of which made for a comforting explanation. She knew better than to ask him about his comment, though. He didn’t trust her enough to tell her his name—he certainly wouldn’t trust her to explain how he’d lived so long. Or even if he’d lived so long.
Alaska didn’t seem to notice her shock, though. He paid no attention to her at all, it seemed, as he continued muttering. To her, to himself, she couldn’t tell.
“Over the years, we’ve dealt with just about every pack on the globe. Every continent, every country, even ones that no longer exist. We have records of it all. I just have to access them and compare traits. Maybe run an algorithm that will seek out keywords or something. That might work.”
He tossed the newspaper aside and ran a dirty hand through his hair, looking completely lost and unfocused. Her mate disheveled and pained was something Zoe hadn’t been prepared to witness, something her inner beast couldn’t stand to see. He looked so beaten down, as if this task had gotten away from him and he didn’t know how to get back on track. As if he felt failure looking overhead. His obvious distress clawed at her gut and made her want to fix everything for him.
If only life was that easy. “So…are we leaving, then?”
He looked up as if he’d forgotten she was there. As if she’d somehow surprised him. “What? Leaving?”
She didn’t understand the worried look on his face or the sudden gleam in his eyes. Didn’t understand it at all. She also didn’t like it. “To go back to the cabin. You said you needed your computer.”
“Right. Yes. Of course.”
Distracted. No other word encompassed the way he acted or the look he wore. The man seemed completely focused elsewhere, and Zoe felt the need to stay completely focused on him. To take care of him as he struggled with remembering whatever it was he needed to. Which was probably why she never heard the other wolves coming up the stairs until they were already in the attic room.
“I told you that you’re not welcome here,” the guy from the day before said, looking mean and ready to fight as he zeroed in on her. Zoe’s stomach dropped and her wolf perked up, inquisitive and wary. Not sure whether to run or stay put.
Alaska took the decision away from her by moving to block the men from looking her way. “She’s with me, and we’re just here for a few days.”
“Your Alpha said the same thing, yet he’s been sniffing around our pack for weeks.”
Alpha. The word slammed into Zoe’s gut like a wrecking ball into a decrepit, useless building. Alaska was a pack wolf—something he’d neglected to tell her. No, not neglected…lied to her about. Even after she’d made her feelings about packs clear, he’d kept that secret. Had continued to call the man who’d sent him to Alaska his boss, not his Alpha. There was no denying that deception.
Shame and anger crawled through her, making her want to strike out at the man before her. How dare he not tell her his truth? And she’d allowed it—had let him hedge his comments about packs and leaders as she’d ranted. Had accepted him saying boss even when she knew there was a deeper meaning behind the word. Had looked away when he’d refused to even share his name with her.
She’d done this to herself, and she’d be the one to fix it.
“You have an Alpha?” she asked, raising an eyebrow when Alaska turned to glare her way.
“Not now, Zoe,” he whispered, his voice pitched low. Barely loud enough for her to hear him, let alone for any other wolves in the room to make out his words. But she did hear him. She heard him loud and clear.
Heard the name he shouldn’t have known
Her heart stopped before kicking into high gear. Gut check number two—dishonesty. All these days, all this time as Beautiful and Alaska had been a lie. He knew her but hadn’t told her anything about himself. He’d never shared information equally. He’d gone against her wishes, looked up information about her, and manipulated her.
She’d never felt so stupid or foolish in her life. Alaska wasn’t Alaska, but he was a pack wolf. And a liar. Two things she couldn’t stand. Two things she refused to be mated to.
Zoe pasted a smile on her face and raised her hands, making sure the two men guarding the stairs could see her. “You know, I can end this easily enough. Let me get past you since you’re blocking the stairs, and I’ll head for the airport.”
The shifter from the day before nodded once, the two men moving to the side as if to give her a path out of the attic. One she planned to take advantage of. She pushed past Alaska, trying hard not to look at him. Not to touch him. Not to feel the rage his actions had incited in her. But the man wasn’t going to let her go so easy.
Alaska reached for her arm, pulling her to a stop. Zoe spun and let her wolf free, snapping at his touch and yanking her arm away from him with a growl. He stared, wide-eyed.
“Beaut—” He froze. She could only assume he’d realized his mistake. That she’d put together the fact that he knew her real name and had used it
. Or he was just as good of an actor as he was a liar. Something she wasn’t in the mood to figure out.
She stood to her full height, raised her chin, and gave him the sauciest wink and grin she could manage. “It’s been fun, but I’m going back to the city. You can finish up with your Alpha on your own.”
She spun and walked away, giving the two shifters a wide berth when she reached the stairs. She hated turning her back on the men, but she had no choice. She needed to get the hell away from them all, and that meant leaving them behind. Not that they let her. Or, at least, Alaska didn’t. He followed right behind her, staying two steps back as she hit the bottom floor and headed for the street.
“Zoe, wait. I didn’t mean to—”
“To what?” she asked, spinning and growling at the man who wouldn’t let her leave. “Break my trust? Lie to me? Ignore my wishes and try to control the situation?”
He sighed, looking completely out of sorts. “Yeah. All of that.”
“Well, you did. And then you refused to give me even a tiny piece of the same knowledge about yourself. I won’t deal with deceit, not from any man.”
“Just wait,” he said as he reached for her again. As he tried once more to restrain her, to stop her from doing what she wanted to. As he attempted to force her hand.
Just like a pack wolf to be so controlling.
“I don’t need to wait.” Zoe stepped back, putting more space between them. More space she couldn’t believe she even wanted after the few days of needing to be close to him. Of trusting him with her body…and her heart, sadly. She was such an idiot.
Not anymore though. “I don’t need to know your name to know enough about you. I don’t want a pack wolf, and I certainly don’t want a liar. Mating pull or not, this isn’t going to work for me, so I’m leaving.”
Alaska roared, but she simply turned and walked away. Ignoring him and his anguish. It could have been an act, for all she knew. Could have been part of his show. His trickery.
No matter how much it hurt to leave him, how bad her wolf whined and clawed at her mind to give him another chance, she couldn’t. She couldn’t risk her freedom on a man who didn’t even have the moral compass to be honest with her. Didn’t have the guts to tell her his real name. The fates had been wrong about them being kindred souls—it’d happened before. She’d seen bad matches leading to lifetimes of sadness and abuse when she’d still been with her last pack. No way would she follow that path. Her heart may have wanted him, her body too, but her head ruled on this one. Her heart would get over it.
Or so she hoped.
18
Deus paced across the small cabin, his wolf whining and growling on every turn. She’d left. His beautiful mate, his Zoe, had actually left him. She hadn’t even let him drive her back to the cabin, choosing to walk out of the library and walk to the airport instead. His instincts screamed to follow her—to track her down and argue his case until he convinced her to come back with him. Or to simply cart her back to the woods to stay with him. His wolf practically demanded it, but he couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Sure, he could go after her. He could follow her to the airport, take away her agency to make her own decisions, and drag her hot little ass back to his bed. He could—but she’d hate him forever if he did.
He couldn’t live with that thought.
His phone pinged, and he practically snarled at the device. Luc again. The man had been texting him every few minutes since Deus had watched Zoe walk away from him. His Alpha probably sensed his distress, the freaky psychic fucker tended to know when one of his packmates was off-kilter. And losing his mate had definitely made Deus feel off-kilter. But he had no time for all the “what’s wrong?” and “why are you distressed?” and “what the fuck is happening?” messages. He needed to think, to sort through his feelings and find the connection to Zoe so he could focus on that. He needed to figure out how to win her back, even if that meant letting down his Alpha—and by default, his pack—and chasing after her.
If only he’d told her about himself. If he’d explained about being a Dire Wolf and what that meant in terms of family and pack. He’d been so distracted by her—both physically and in researching everything he could about her—that he’d completely misstepped in their relationship. He should have focused on earning her trust. She wouldn’t have been so surprised then, wouldn’t have been shocked or felt betrayed by him when those bastards had brought up his Alpha. Fuck, if he’d just told her his goddamned name, this likely wouldn’t be happening.
Another ping. Another text from Luc. This one about the local pack. They’re on the move again.
“Not fucking now,” Deus said with a growl, tossing his phone across the room to land on the bed. Why the man had such a hard-on for that pack, Deus still didn’t understand. He also didn’t have enough energy to worry about it. He had to stay focused on Zoe, had to try to reach the bond between them that they hadn’t yet solidified. Was she gone already? Had his plane taken off with her inside of it, whisking her back to New York? Had he lost her?
No. He refused to think that way. His mate wouldn’t walk away—not for good. True, she was the daughter of a con man, something he’d learned in researching her history, but she’d been real with him the past few days. True and honest and present. Zoe was a strong, independent wolf who took no shit, and he’d lost her because he hadn’t respected that fact enough. Hadn’t trusted her or allowed her to trust him. Hadn’t given her a reason to. She’d been his for a handful of glorious days, and he’d lost her because he was an idiot.
No more.
Deus grabbed his laptop and settled on the couch to research more. He needed data to figure Zoe out, so he opened the websites he’d found previously and started reading again. Last time, he’d learned the barest of details—a name, age, and former pack information. This time, he dug deeper. Into her past, her family, her history. He should have felt guilty for looking when he’d promised not to, should have chided himself for betraying her trust again, but he had no other choice. He’d already fucked up—he needed to figure out a way to fix his mistake, which meant he needed to know more about her.
Ten minutes and fifteen text messages received—all most likely from Luc—later, Deus finally found a picture in what had only been text so far. It was old and grainy, probably taken by his Dire brother Levi, who was the pack photographer and documented their histories visually more than any other pack member.
Similar to the first picture he’d discovered but better quality and closer. In it, Zoe stood beside her parents in ragged, tattered clothing with her hair hanging down and her hand by her mouth. Scared. Her mother held her other hand, chin up, looking so much like Zoe it hurt.
So much like Zoe.
A century later, and they could have been twins.
Deus looked again, blowing up the picture. Zoe was the spitting image of her mother, and shifters didn’t age like humans. Had her mom been alive, it would have been near impossible to tell them apart. Would have been like looking in the mirror for the two women. Something clicked into place in his head, a feeling of dread and intuition settling over him as he tried to put the pieces together.
“You’re not welcome here.”
Not Zoe. Her mom. Maybe. Possibly. There was only one way to find out. Deus dug deeper, this time seeking information on the picture, on the dad, on the mom. Histories and pack records, details and legends about the family, plowing through random bits of information until he finally hit on one line. One remark about Zoe’s mom that sent ice shooting down his spine.
Possibly born into Brooks Range, Alaska pack.
“Holy shit.” He scanned the picture again, the pieces finally sliding into place. The anger from the local wolf directed at Zoe, the weird sense that they knew her even though she didn’t return the feeling. Her mom had come from the local pack, Zoe looked just like her mom, so the pack assumed Zoe was her.
Another ping sounded from his phone, and Deus grabbed it almost absentmindedly. Growling, trying to wo
rk out what could have possibly set a pack to banish a female of their own, he swiped the screen to life. Most messages were just as he’d expected—comments about the pack from Luc, messages of concern. The last one, though…one word. One simple request from Zoe that caused his wolf to explode from his skin with a snarl unlike any he’d ever issued.
One syllable that set his world spinning.
Help.
19
He lied to me.
That was all Zoe could think about as she hurried toward the airport. Alaska—not Alaska, not his real name, not that she knew his name because he wouldn’t tell her even though he knew hers—had lied straight to her face. Her heart had cracked wide open when that truth dropped on her head, and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to put it back together again.
But her resounding pain at his betrayal wasn’t her only concern, or at least, it wasn’t her immediate one. She could survive a broken heart—she wasn’t so sure she could survive the attack of a rabid wolf unless she got the hell out of this town. The local pack wasn’t kidding around with their you’re not welcome here line, and Zoe didn’t want to push them too far. Especially without Alaska by her side to—
Nope.
Not going there.
Her mate had let her down. Had completely destroyed her trust in him. Had manipulated her into thinking they were on even ground while really pulling strings to run the show. There would be no working, scheming, or fighting together. Ever.
Her wolf let out a plaintive howl at that thought.
“Quit whining,” Zoe murmured to herself. Or to her inner wolf, really. The beast seemed far more upset about losing her mate than the possibility of an entire pack attacking them. Zoe would have assumed that the instinct to survive—the natural fight for life itself—would have overpowered everything else to the wolf. She would have been wrong. Mate beat all in the animal’s world. Wonderful.