I LIKE IT!
Paul
* * *
For Jeff: I put up a first draft of the Clay and Randall scene. Hit that sucker and do what you want with Randall's dialogue or whatever.
Oddly, I couldn't get them to fight. Maybe you can. They just trashed talked for me. Might've got to fighting if the Aliens references hadn't come up. (I found a couple of colorful ones.)
Paul
* * *
I won't be able to read it until this evening, but Randall is in such lousy physical shape by that point that it would completely make sense that he'd resort to trash talk over violence when dealing with Clay. Especially since Clay has guns.
Jeff
* * *
Loved the Clay and Randall scene, Paul.
Jeff, to get Randall to that point, he's gotta ditch the wheelchair dracula, and get the circuit breaker back up.
Joe
* * *
Did I miss the "Jenny on the intercom" scene? I'm going to use that during the Randall vs. Wheelchair Dracula scene.
Jeff
* * *
I'm doing the "Jenny uses the intercom scene" right now. Her message is:
"Randall, I'm still in pediatrics with the children. I need you to...oh my God!"
This will be while the lights are still out.
Joe
* * *
September 10, 2010
Since Jenny is using the Intercom with the electricity still off, I see no reason for Randall to put the lights back on. We can finish the novel in the dark. Scarier, more suspenseful.
Get your flashlights, lighters, and torches...
Joe
* * *
I've added Clay and Randall 3.3 to Paul's folder.
Jeff
* * *
A new file up -- Just shy of 3k in length. Clay gets Shanna to safety, meets a TV crew there, offs the dead staties as they become draculas, gives Shanna the ring, hauls out his MM-1, and heads back inside.
Paul
* * *
Sorry, that was just shy of 2.3k
Paul
* * *
Fuckin' A Paul Wilson. Awesome scene.
I've got a Jenny/Lanz back and forth going on that will probably be the grossest scene in the book, then she'll be all ready to be rescued. She also has four kids with her, who should also be rescued.
Clay's gonna have his hands full.
Joe
* * *
Jeff 5.0...is done.
I'm going to do another short Randall chapter where he's stumbling through the hospital, really out of it (which lets us "cheat" the timeframe a bit because it's not specific about how long he's wandering around) and then I'll link it up to the Randall Meets Clay scene.
Jeff
* * *
All - can't wait to read the new pages...I've been quiet this week b/c I've been trying to wrap up edits on AMERICAN GENOCIDE but I should be back into DRACULAS Saturday or Sunday.
Blake
* * *
Awesome scene, Jeff.
I'm guessing Randall will get stuck at the stairs because of his injury, and have to crawl, and the legless dracula will be right behind him in a death race. Won't be so funny anymore when the dracula is closing the gap.
You also need to do a Benny scene where he finds gas. I did some research, and a two cycle engine like a chainsaw should be able to run on isopropyl alcohol. In other words, rubbing alcohol, which is everywhere.
Benny would know this because his chainsaw juggling buddy used to also spit fire, and used rubbing alcohol to both blow flames and power his saws.
Blake - No worries about being behind. Take as long as you need with American Genocide. Because we've replaced you with Brian Keene.
Joe
* * *
Joe, you're a treasure.
Blake
* * *
So let's bury him!
Jeff
* * *
Free sample is live...
http://www.amazon.com/DRACULAS-Chapters-Upcoming-Release-ebook/dp/B0042ANZBU
Joe
* * *
Sweet!
When I tried to download the sampler, my Kindle went dead. 100% blank screen, flipping the power switch did nothing--dead.
Fortunately, a manual reset worked, but clearly DRACULAS is a book of evil.
Jeff
* * *
Honestly, no shit, it crashed my Kindle PC too. WTF?
Blake
* * *
http://www.amazon.com/DRACULAS-Novel-Terror-ebook/dp/B0042AMD2M
Go ahead and tell the world. We're going into full-on promo mode.
Joe
* * *
September 11, 2010
My Jenny/Lanz scene is almost finished, then I'll be caught up to Paul. Jeff has one more scene to get him up to the point where he can meet with Clay.
Blake--you've got some catching up to do. If you haven't started it yet, let me do the Wolkenstein explanation, and you concentrate on Stacie and Adam and Oasis.
Or if you're really gung-ho about Wolkenstein, go for it. We can work around you until you're ready.
I'm thinking this whole thing will max out around 70k words. Then we'll each have a shot at editing it.
My wife has read what we have so far, and she couldn't tell who wrote what section. Which is pretty impressive, since she's read all of us. This reads seamlessly.
She loved it, BTW. But the one thing she says is lacking is suspense. She thinks it's a lot of fun, but could be scarier.
We're all in a dark hospital right now, so we might want to use this setting to stretch out the tension a bit. I also anticipate going back into the manuscript and adding a bit more atmosphere and creepiness.
That said, this is obviously a lot more like ALIENS than ALIEN, and I'm fine with that. I think readers will dig it.
Joe
* * *
I've lost track of time. What time of day is it?
Paul
* * *
In the book, or in your personal life?
In the book, I believe it's around 9pm.
In your life, it's 11:18, right about time for your first nap of the day. Your name is Dr. Wilson, and you also write books.
Joe
* * *
I made way more progress last night than I thought I would, and will be finished with my edits by tonight, which means I'm back on Draculas tomorrow and should catch up pretty quickly. I'm happy to do the Shanna scene, and I'll do it first, but if it's slowing anything down, feel free.
Blake
* * *
I left the end of Clay 3.0 open for that. It can then be connected to Clay & Randall.
Paul
* * *
A non-gory scene with our lovable clown.
Jeff
* * *
Nice, Jeff. Though, in total candor, I'm not sure if we want to step away from the story for a full-fledged flashback. What do you guys think?
I just wrote a scene with Lanz that actually made me a bit nauseous. I tried to keep it clinical, because he is a doctor, but it ranks up there with the grossest things I've ever written...
Joe
* * *
I thought about that, but I think we have to embrace the sheer absurdity of the "clown gasses up chainsaw with rubbing alcohol" concept. It's a quick enough scene that it doesn't really disrupt the pacing, and it provides a "quiet" moment in a book that has few, and Benny-in-flashback gets to speak for the reader who is saying "C'mon, gimme a break!"
Jeff
* * *
I revised this to a night scene.
If Maria wants suspense, I'll try to give her some. I'm sending Clay back up to the 4th floor (that's where Randall and pediatrics are, right?) Any problem if the emergency lights in this hall are knocked out so it's DARK -- I mean, pitch black?
Paul
* * *
I might be wrong--I think pediatrics is on the third floor. I went off the idea t
hat Clay found Benny on the third floor. So now Randall is going up to the fourth floor to find a different route back to pediatrics, where he'll meet Clay and link to your chapter, and then he'll continue back down to the third floor to reunite with Jenny.
Jeff
* * *
@ Jeff - I like the Benny flashback, and see your point. We'll pop it into the manuscript and see how it reads when everything is put together. A brief respite is fine. But if it throws off the pace, it may have to be done as interior monologue. What do you other guys think?
@ Paul - Pitch black is cool. The draculas could have knocked out lights. Clay would have a Maglite, no doubt. He'd probably have those spot lights that mount on gun barrels. Laser sights too. Though Clay might think laser sights are cheating...
Joe
* * *
Okay, I'll have Clay go to the 4th floor, do some suspense in the dark, then realize peds is on the 3rd and go down.
Where's Obstetrics? Eventually Clay has to meet up with the minister so he can show him how to off himself and take a load of draculas with him.
Paul
* * *
Okay, this one's done, and links directly to Paul's chapter where Randall and Clay meet.
Jeff
* * *
Great chapter, Jeff. Love the political correctness Randall grapples with.
Here's what I'm thinking as historical context:
Oswald von Wolkenstein was a member of the Order of the Dragon in the early 1400s. The Order was supposedly formed to fight the Turks and the Ottoman Empire.
But what if it was formed to fight draculas? Members of the order were called Draconists.
The black death raged throughout the 1400s, Today, historians and scholars believe it was the bubonic and pneumonic plague that caused it, but there has been no absolute evidence to support this hypothesis, only educated guesses.
So what if the black death caused dracula-like symptoms in some of its hosts?
Black death ravages the world, but when people with certain genetic precursors are exposed to it (like certain royal bloodlines) it mutates its victims into draculas. The Draconists had family members affected in this way, including Oswald.
The Draconists, out of self-preservation, manage to kill all of the mutations and keep it under wraps, even though it became the source for vampire and werewolf legends. But Oswald, rather than kill his diseased son, kept him chained up in the cellar.
The son escapes, goes on a killing spree, ending up in Transylvania and causing a dracula epidemic.
Vlad III of Wallachia (Vlad the Imapaler), to save his country in the 1450s, realizes the easiest, fastest, and safest hands-off way to kill draculas is to impale them on large stakes, where they'll eventually starve to death, unable to climb off.
Oswald's son is caught by Vlad, who beheaded him. It was Oswald's son's head found in the field by the farmer in present day.
Mortimer is a direct line from Wolkenstein. He's got the bloodline, and the genetic precursor. At the beginning, we can put a draconis ouroborus on his robe as a lapel insignia.
This ties in Stoker's Dracula, Vlad the Impaler, the Draconist order, the black death, and the source of monster legends, and wraps it all up in a neat little historically possible package.
Joe
* * *
BTW- the Draconis ouroboros symbol is a dragon creature eating its own tail. Much like our draculas eat themselves.
Joe
* * *
Verrrrrrrrry cool.
Where does it work into the story? Are we going to weave in bits and pieces throughout?
Jeff
* * *
Blake is putting it in, when Shanna is explaining to Clay what possibly caused this.
Joe
* * *
To make the timeframe work, I think Clay needs to reunite with Randall =after= Randall has saved Jenny. Randall has had enough solo adventures, so I'm going to take him straight to pediatrics, and his final battle with Benny should be when Jenny (and the kids!) are there. She has a grudge against the clown, too, so they can fight him together. They kill Benny, but right before that, Randall gets bitten, so Clay reaches pediatrics just as they're dealing with that unfortunate fact.
Joe, are you working on any new Jenny stuff? I can pick up where you left off, but I don't want to step on your toes (since everybody knows you type with your toes--the pictures Blake sent me are frickin' disgusting!).
Jeff
* * *
Cool. If a point comes up where it makes sense to do this, I'll have somebody try to explain the backstory to Randall, who has trouble following the details and says "You know what, this late in the game I really don't give a shit where these things came from!"
Jeff
* * *
Right now, Jenny is killing Lanz. When she's done, Benny can show up and Randall can burst in and save her.
Joe
* * *
Okay, how about this:
Jenny is fighting Lanz. Kills him. Benny shows up and chainsaws through the door.
Randall rescues her. Tearful reunion. Then they're surrounded by draculas. Randall fights off a bunch with his saw, but he's outnumbered. Gets bitten.
Clay comes in with the boom boom, clears the path. Threatens to kill Randall. Jenny won't let him. They go, with the kids, to the roof because Clay thinks he can flag down the tv helicopter.
Along the way they meet up with Adam, Stacie, and the baby.
Army shows up. Begins to massacre draculas, causing all of them to flee--running up the stairs. Everyone on the roof.
Randall begins to change. He and Jenny express love. Randall becomes a dracula and starts kicking ass.
Clay gets the kids on the helicopter, the baby, and then Stacie is killed and Adam wounded.
Randall is wounded and dying. Jenny stays with him.
Clay gives Adam the grenades, leaps onto the skids as the helicopter takes off (Yippe ki-yaa, mother fucker), and loses his grip and falls off the building.
Adam blows up, making meat confetti. Jenny tell Randall she loves him. He dies. Just as she's surrounded, the army drops a bomb.
Shanna sees the explosion. Watches the helicopter come. Clay isn't on it. She weeps. Meets another survivor. Young guy. He's calm and a bit flirtatious.
Clay climbs out of a tree, his arm and several ribs broken. "Jumping onto a helicopter is a fuckall lot harder than it is in the movies." Reunites with Jenny.
Survivor gets baby. It's Mort.
What say you all?
Joe
* * *
Also, my Jenny/Lanz section topped 5000 words. Which means that we've written about 50k words so far. I'm figuring it'll go 15k more, maybe 20k when we go back and add a bit more setting and atmosphere. 70k is a respectable word count for a book like this.
Joe
* * *
Who is this guy on your blog saying that hospitals don't use cell phone jammers? He isn't right is he?
Blake
* * *
Upon further study, he may be right. But that's a quick fix. We used that device because we didn't want people calling for help, but now it doesn't matter because help is coming anyway.
I'll kill it in the sample and reupload the file.
Joe
* * *
Just changed the jammer in the sample and the main manuscript, and uploaded it to Kindle. At the beginning of the sample I had a disclaimer saying it was uncorrected proofs, so it won't matter. We owe that guy a beer.
Joe
* * *
Apparently I was misinformed, and hospitals don't use cell phone jammers. I changed it in the sample and the final manuscript.
Draculas Page 49