“And?”
Heath looked past me, working his tense jaw.
I gripped my fingers around the bottle I held. “Heath. Talk to me, or I swear to God…”
“She’s upset, Blake. She’s your wife, so I figure you knew that already. What happened before she left?”
“We fought.”
“About?”
I lifted the bottle to my lips and took a deep swallow. “She wants me to track down Trevor, or at least let the feds know who they should be looking for.”
“And you won’t?”
“He’s not worth our time. Hers or mine. He’s—”
“He’s what, exactly?”
“Not the answer. The authorities can’t pin this on me. Sending them after him is a waste of time.”
Heath set his coffee down on the table and clasped his hands together. “You know I’m not big on confrontation, but this fucker has been after you for years. Maybe I’ve been too busy making a mess out of my own life to speak up about it until now. But he needs to be stopped. The fact that someone as smart you hasn’t put an end to it is ridiculous.”
I didn’t respond for a moment, tempering the verbal lashing I wanted to dole out. Maybe he was right. Maybe he and Erica both were. I cursed under my breath. I rubbed my eyes to soothe the stinging from lack of sleep.
“Erica thinks it’s because I feel guilty about Brian.”
“Do you?”
I swallowed down more of my beer. “Maybe,” I confessed, almost too quietly to be heard.
“You were young. And this kid isn’t Brian. He’s just as fucked up, but he’s never been a friend. You don’t owe him anything.”
“I know that.”
“Do you? Because sometimes it really doesn’t seem that way.”
I’d never met Trevor face-to-face, but somehow he was always Brian in my mind. I’d never admit it, but I couldn’t separate the two. He was a shadow, a ghost no one could catch. But to me, he was a ghost who carried around the blackest memory I had. Brian had been as misguided as me, but he’d taken things too far. I’d devised the whole plan with him, but he was the one who had followed through, far beyond the original intent. Because he’d taken the fall, I was free.
The threat of prison had been lifted, but the guilt that he’d taken his own life haunted me. For months. When I started working for Michael, I thought I’d moved past it. But maybe I hadn’t.
“I can’t change what happened.”
“None of us can. But you can stop letting this… menace… vandalize your life. If you don’t stop him, the feds are going to put you away, Blake. You don’t need me to tell you, but you’re not a minor anymore. This is a fucking felony. You’ve got a wife, a family who cares about you, hundreds of people who rely on you. And you’re going to mail it in because you can’t stomach turning the tables and making sure Trevor lands his ass in jail for all of this?”
“He’s not doing anything that I don’t do.”
“Maybe that’s true, but you do a lot more than he does. You’ve built dozens of companies that are putting good things into the world. You’ve helped Mom and Dad. You’ve helped me, when I’ve given you no good reason to. You’re Erica’s rock, and right now you’re failing her by being too blind to see the difference. Why won’t you face him?”
“If he ever showed his goddamn face, I would,” I snapped.
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m not going to be bullied by a shadow.”
“Well, that’s what is happening.”
I stood and paced around the room, Heath’s words rattling through my brain.
“Facing off… I guess it makes Brian real again. Trevor wants to draw me back into this nightmare. That’s what this is all about. He wants to turn me into the person the FBI already thinks I am.”
“You’re not that person. You’re so far from the kid you were, Blake. You’re an adult. You’ve had a million experiences. You’re married. You have people who need you and give you purpose.”
“Exactly. I don’t want my purpose to be giving him ammunition.”
“All you have to do is draw breath and you’re giving him all the ammunition he needs to keep coming back at you. Protect the life you’ve built. That should be your purpose. And if that means taking this little fucker out of the picture, that’s what you need to do.”
I leaned against the couch and let out a tired breath. “When did you get so fucking focused?”
“I have only you to blame for that. Alli had to fall in love with a completely different guy after I cleaned up.”
I nodded. “You’re lucky.”
“So are you. You just need to realize that you’ve got this all wrong, and that’s why Erica’s not here. Work it out in your head, and she’ll come back. I have no doubt about that.”
I shot him an imploring look. “Sounds like you have inside information that I don’t.”
He shook his head. “Nah, just a gut feeling. If Alli left me without a word, I can guarantee I’d be looking long and hard at what the fuck I did wrong. And no amount of pride would keep me from trying to make it right so I could get her back.”
“You’re starting to sound like the older brother.”
He smirked. “You’ve saved my ass enough. I owe you a few.”
* * *
ERICA
When I woke up the next morning, the reality that I was pregnant didn’t seem any less surreal. A part of me wanted to run back home to Blake and bask in the news, but another part of me was glad for our distance now. Life had thrown me some hard lessons, and I needed a chance to temper this wave of excitement until I could make sense of it. So much was uncertain.
My first priority was getting Michael’s help. I rose early and took a cab to his office while Alli stayed at the hotel. The driver pulled up to an impressive high rise situated in the heart of the city, and I took the elevator to the top floor. I’d reached out to his assistant the day before, letting him know that Blake was going to be in town and wanted to meet with him. She’d put it in his calendar without hesitation. When I arrived, after a little explaining that I was Blake’s wife and I intended to meet with Michael regardless, his receptionist showed me into his office.
Michael sat at a large desk in the middle of an enormous room. For a man who had the world at his fingertips, he seemed to have nothing around him. The surface of his desk was almost entirely free of clutter, save a notebook, laptop, and pen. Every surface gleamed. Every decoration was perfectly positioned.
Michael came to his feet. His eyes regarded me almost cautiously as I walked toward him. “Erica. I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I know. I’m sorry for that. It was important.”
“Of course. Have a seat.” He showed me to the sitting area in what appeared to be the west wing of his spacious office. He took a chair opposite a matching sleek black leather couch where I sat. “What brings you to Dallas?”
“I wanted to talk to you about Blake. I imagine you already know about the trouble he’s in.”
He nodded slowly. “Yes, the police came to me, so I know some of the details. I haven’t spoken to Blake about it, though.”
I was reassured that the police were at least doing their due diligence with Michael, even if their first suspect was Blake.
“They asked you about the Banksoft source code?”
“Yes.”
“What did you tell them?”
He eyed me for a moment, his lips an unmoving line.
“I told them that to my knowledge, outside of a very select few trusted staff members, no one else had access to my copy of it.”
“Is that the truth?”
“Erica, I’m not one for games. What are you getting at?”
I steeled myself to say what I’d flown halfway across the country to say. “I want to know if Max had access to it.”
Michael smiled tightly and clasped his hands together. “It’s feasible. Max has been involved in many of my business dealings.”
“
I believe he gave the code to a man named Trevor Cooper. He’s a hacker—”
“I know who he is.”
I was stunned silent a moment. “You do?”
“He’s a programmer who’d been working for Max for a while, helping him with some side projects. We funded his work through one of the investment companies that Max and I once jointly held.”
“All that money was used to try to take down several of Blake’s ventures, my company among them.”
Michael held my gaze steadily. “If that’s true, I’m very sorry to hear it. As you may already know, Max and I no longer have financial ties. And when we did, he was rarely involved in my daily business activities. I helped fund several of his projects, if only to keep him from wanting to be too involved with mine. I knew Trevor in name only because the company had cut checks to him.”
“Do you know where Trevor is now?”
“No. The investment company was dissolved and all its accounts were closed shortly after your engagement party. I don’t know what became of Trevor.”
Damnit. I felt like I was climbing a mountain and the top of it kept eluding me.
“Michael, I need you to help me find him. He used Blake’s Banksoft code to rig the governor’s election knowing that it would implicate Blake. If anyone wants to see Blake suffer more than Max, it’s Trevor. He’s held a grudge against him since before you took Blake into the fold.”
“I’m not sure how I could possibly help.”
“Reach out to him. Draw him out. Or tell the FBI what you really know. That Max very likely gave him the code. If the FBI knew it, they would at least start looking for the right person and stop investigating Blake for a crime he didn’t commit.”
“You’re asking me to implicate my own son, Erica.”
“I’m asking you to help me bring Trevor in. Whether you like it or not, Max was a part of this, and he’s been systematically trying to take Blake out of the game for years. I thought you cared about Blake. Are you willing to watch him go to prison for this?”
His countenance was tight, betraying his discomfort. This was why I hadn’t called. Face-to-face he couldn’t deny the truth. And the truth was that his son, his flesh and blood, had a hand in this.
“There has to be another way,” he finally said, casting his gaze to the floor.
“There is no other way. Michael, please, I’m begging you. Help me find him. I can’t—” I can’t do this alone. I struggled for words. I tried to push down the overwhelming emotions bubbling to the surface. Maybe I could explain to Michael just how desperate I was, but I didn’t want to lose his respect by breaking down the way I wanted to right now.
Before I could find the right words, he moved to sit beside me. He took my hand in his. His hand was warm and dry, tanned by the sun. His eyes were soft and almost sad.
“Erica, I know this is hard for you. And I know that what you went through when Max attacked you must have been tremendously difficult. No one deserves to go through something like that. I’m ashamed of him, more than I ever have been in my life. But when you have children of your own, you’ll learn that no matter how they fail you, no matter how they hurt you and shame you, they will always be your children. I love Blake like a son… but he’s not my son. Max is my flesh and blood. I will do whatever I can to help Blake, but not at Max’s expense. I’ve never stood between them, and I won’t start now.”
A single tear escaped, sliding down my cheek.
He squeezed my hand. “Erica, you just have to find a different way. Blake’s smart—one of the smartest people I know. That’s why he’s not here, because he knows how I feel.”
I ripped my hand away from his touch that now felt more condescending than anything. “He’s not here because he won’t defend himself.”
I stood and moved for the door. I curved my hand around the doorknob and hesitated. Across the room, Michael stood. His stance was casual, his face lined with appropriate concern. I’d always thought of him as different, because Blake seemed to think he was. Had I been so wrong?
“Sometimes I think about the men in my life. I think about how so many of them march around like gods, wielding their power and ego like a weapon with no regard for who they hurt or whose lives they destroy. And the rest of us are left picking up the pieces. For some reason, I always thought you were different. I guess I was wrong.”
His silence confirmed the hard truth of it. I left his office and hailed a cab back to the hotel, resigned in my defeat.
For the first time since I’d landed in Dallas, I turned on my phone. I waited, preparing myself for the deluge of communications that I must have missed. A dozen texts came through at once, one from James and the rest from Blake. All wanting to know where I was, if I was safe, to call soon.
One voicemail message waited for me. I began to listen to it, bracing myself for whatever Blake had to say. I didn’t expect it to be even-toned.
“Erica, it’s me.”
My heart twisted at the first sound of his voice.
“I don’t know where you are, and it’s killing me. I’m not saying I don’t deserve this, but… please, just call me so I can hear your voice and know that you’re okay. I know Alli is with you, but I can’t help but worry about you. I want to be with you wherever you are, to protect you from whatever trouble you’re getting into. And I already know what you’re thinking right now. That I won’t protect myself, so how can I protect you? And you’re right. I’m too stubborn for my own good, and you shouldn’t have to put up with me. You promised you would, though. Please… just call me.”
The sadness in his voice gutted me. I missed him more than I’d let myself believe.
I walked into the hotel room and found Alli working on her laptop.
“How did it go?”
I simply shook my head, and her shoulders sagged with the defeat I felt.
“He won’t help?”
“Not if it means implicating Max.” I slumped onto the bed beside her.
“I’m sorry.” She hooked an arm around my shoulders. “What do we do now, chica?”
I leaned against her, willing myself to believe that I could find another way to the truth. But I was tired, and all I wanted right now was the comfort of Blake’s arms. If I could get him to change his mind and fight for us, maybe there was still hope.
I closed my eyes with a sigh. “I want to go home.”
CHAPTER TEN
BLAKE
I must have called her a hundred times. No answer, every time. I’d called Heath a dozen more times. No updates. All I knew was that she was gone, and I had no idea when she’d be back or if she would be at all.
I sat at the dining-room table, lost in my own thoughts. The last swallow of scotch slid down my throat. Nothing could numb the pain of knowing she wasn’t with me though. She’d chosen to leave, and maybe I’d given her every good reason to.
I rubbed my eyes. One sleepless night had turned into two. I’d dozed off a few times, but woke in a panic. I’d go through the house again, check my phone and email. Call Heath with no regard for his own need to sleep. I’d realize she was gone all over again and worry until my eyelids wouldn’t stay open any longer.
I heard the front door click shut. Clay had been checking in on me. If he hadn’t worked for me, I had a feeling he would have been more vocal about how terrible I must have looked. How insane I was being. But nothing anyone could say would fix this. Nothing would be right until she was home. If she gave me a chance to explain myself, I’d make it right.
Then she was there.
Standing at the edge of the table, in jeans and a loose sweater, looking tentative. She was closer than she’d been in days, but somehow she felt a million miles away from me. I pushed out of my chair and went to her. She took a step back like she was scared.
I stopped short in front of her. Clenching my fists to keep from touching her, I tried to pull myself together, but the look in her clear blue eyes was ripping my heart out.
“Baby, I�
��m not going to hurt you.”
She swallowed, her lips parting slightly. “Aren’t you angry with me?”
“No. I’m—God, just come here.”
I hauled her to me, lifting her off her feet as soon as I could get my arms around her. I nuzzled her neck and breathed her in. She was more potent than any drink. I said her name, over and over. She was home. And safe. Thank God.
I sought her mouth, gliding my lips over hers reverently. The kiss reminded me of the one that had sealed us as husband and wife. Until her tongue touched mine. Tender at first, and then seeking more. I groaned when she slid her fingers through my hair, gripping by the roots. I caught a breath and pulled away enough to see the new fire gleaming in her eyes. She wrapped her legs around me, and I walked us into the living room.
I laid her down on the couch and covered her body with mine. The feeling of her warm little body under me was like heaven. Desire prickled my skin, but simply having her with me again overwhelmed me. I didn’t have words for it. I caressed her cheek, thumbing over her parted lips.
“God, I missed you.”
Something like sadness passed behind her eyes. Before she could explain why, I kissed her again. I swallowed all the things I knew she wanted to tell me. I kissed her, deeply and passionately, until she broke the contact. I wanted to make love to her and forget the past two days had happened. I wanted to start over, but I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. Reluctantly, I lifted my body from her, enough to look into her eyes.
“We need to talk,” she said breathlessly.
My muscles coiled with tension. I wasn’t going to let her leave me. Maybe she’d be better off with someone who was less fucked in the head, but I didn’t care. Selfishly, I’d fight like hell to keep her any way I could.
Mentally preparing myself for the deluge of thoughts that she’d no doubt collected over the past two days, I gradually moved to a sitting position. She did the same, lifting her knees onto the couch on the far end from me.
“Do we have to talk this far apart?”
“I can’t—I can’t think straight when you’re touching me, Blake. And I need you to hear me.”
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