Hard Love

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Hard Love Page 19

by Meredith Wild


  His jaw tightened and he regarded me coolly. “All I can tell you is that whoever is behind this will pay for it. One way or the other. I’m not the only one who had an interest in me winning. And I’m not the only one who wants answers.”

  “If you want answers so badly, help me find them. I know who did this. I found him once, and I need your help to track him down again so the FBI can bring him in. As long as they believe Blake did this, they’ll think you were involved in some way. Helping him helps you too.”

  He was silent a moment. “Who are you looking for?”

  “His name is Trevor Cooper. He’s someone from Blake’s past—a hacker who used Blake’s code from an old project to rig the machines. I honestly don’t think any of this has anything to do with you. All he wanted was vengeance on Blake, and unfortunately you paid the price.”

  “If all this is true, why aren’t the police looking for him?”

  “Because they don’t know he exists. At least not until I find him. That’s why I need you.”

  “This sounds like an elaborate story, Erica. Is Blake spinning this? I didn’t think you could be this gullible, but maybe being in love has blinded you.”

  My anger flared again, and I struggled to keep from yelling. “Love hasn’t blinded me. It’s made me see more clearly than ever before. And yes, I will do whatever I need to do to clear his name. And you’re going to help me.”

  He muttered a curse and rubbed his neck.

  I wasn’t going to win this by berating him. I wanted to. It felt good to. But I needed him invested. I needed him to feel a fraction of the desperation that I now felt. I wasn’t sure if he was capable of it, but I had to at least try. There were still so many things I’d never said to him.

  “Daniel.” I waited until he looked up, meeting his blue-eyed gaze with mine. I took a breath and hoped to draw in some courage with it. “Blake is going to be the father of my child. You said once that wouldn’t matter to you… Is that still true?”

  He grew pale and stared at some invisible point on the floor. In his silence, I carried on. I struggled to keep my voice steady as my heart skipped.

  “I’ll admit that I brought you here because I wanted you to see Marie again. It scares me a little bit to bring you into her world, however briefly, because I can’t ever know what you’ll do. But somewhere in your cold, power-mongering heart, I know you care about something other than this goddamn election. I hoped that for a minute you could open your eyes and see that she’s been like a mother to me since Mom died.”

  “I’m grateful she’s been here for you,” he said quietly, still avoiding my gaze.

  “Me too.” I closed my eyes a moment, trying to speak over the knot in my throat. “After the shooting… I was scared to death that I’d never have a chance to be a mother. I thought about it so much. More than anyone would ever know. I wished for it, and then, by some miracle, I was given that chance. And the most incredible part is that I was given a chance to share that experience with a man that I love deeply, with every piece of my soul.” My voice broke, but I pushed on in a whisper. “And I want to do better. I want to give this child more than I had. More than this.”

  My turned-up palm moved between us, a small gesture that meant to encapsulate the emptiness that had existed between us, over the years of his estrangement and the emptiness that still remained.

  “You will. I have little doubt.”

  “Then this child needs a father, because I know what it’s like to have to live without one. There will never be anyone else to fill that place but Blake. I had to grow into someone else’s heart. I’m grateful for my stepfather, but you were supposed to be the one. He knew that, and so did I.”

  My heart ached in my chest and my eyes brimmed with tears. Everything that I’d held back for so long, from before I’d even known who Daniel was, threatened to spill out of me. How could I despise him and still want him so much was a mystery I’d never understand. I could only hope the sentiment resonated someplace within him too. If this connection was worth anything, I prayed it could mean something to him now.

  His head fell into his hands. He ran his fingers through his graying hair. I wanted to see his eyes. I imagined them dim with regret. At least a part of me wanted them to be. Did he regret it, all of this?

  “I am sorry, Erica. You’ll never know how much.”

  His quiet words hit my heart.

  “I can’t do this alone, Daniel. I’m strong enough… maybe I could, I don’t know. But I can’t fathom it. I’ve been given a chance to have something I thought had been taken away. And now the love of my life could be taken away too. I need your help, please.”

  He sighed. “Okay.”

  My heavy heart fluttered back to life. “You’ll help?”

  “If I can. I’m not sure what you expect me to do. I’m under a microscope too.”

  I pulled a piece of paper from my pocket and handed it to him. “You can start with Margaret Cooper. She’s Trevor’s mother. She’s how I found him last time, but they’re off the grid again. That’s their last known address and anything else that might help. If I can find her, or if you can, maybe I can find Trevor or convince her to lead me to him.”

  He stared at the paper, his face expressionless. “You’re asking for information.”

  “Yes.”

  His face went tight. “Information comes at a price.”

  I parted my lips as I imagined what he might want. “I have money—”

  “I don’t want your money. I’m telling you that I’m not like you. The people who find information for me don’t walk into a room and ask nicely. People could get hurt.”

  I rolled that thought over in my mind a few times. I remembered Trevor’s mother, the way she came at me. If she hadn’t been so drunk, maybe she would have made it far enough to hurt me. I’d been stupid to go to their home alone, and maybe I was being stupid again now to ask this of Daniel, but I was running out of options.

  “I don’t care what you do as long as it gets me Trevor’s location. Find him, and you won’t ever have to hear from me again.”

  He nodded and stared back at the paper. He moved it rhythmically back and forth between his finger and thumb. “Is that what you want?”

  My breath caught in my chest. “What are you saying?”

  He shook his head and moved to stand. “I don’t know. I should go.”

  “Daniel—”

  Stuffing the paper in his pants pocket, he rose. “I’ll see what I can find. I’ll be in touch.”

  “You just got here.” I followed him to the door.

  “Margo started packing her things this morning. I need to get back and try to talk some sense into her. The fact that I left to see you won’t help my case.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Regret swam in his eyes. “Me too.”

  * * *

  Early the next morning, the sound of my phone ringing woke me. I picked it up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

  “Hello?”

  The reception was scratchy, and then an operator asked if I would accept a collect call from the county jail where I knew they’d been holding Blake. My heart pounded loudly in my chest, both in anticipation of hearing Blake’s voice and with the unwelcome reminder that he was still being held there. I accepted the charges and heard a click.

  “Erica?” Blake’s voice seemed far away.

  “It’s me.” I closed my eyes, struggling for words when all I wanted was to feel him with me. I wanted to speed to wherever he was and take him back home where he belonged. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m okay.” There was no life in his answer, and I fought the sudden urge to cry. I didn’t want him to hear me breaking down. I had to be strong…

  “I miss you so much. When can I come visit you?”

  He was silent for a long time. “I’d rather you didn’t,” he finally said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t want you here, okay? I miss you. Jesus…” He
released a shaky breath. “I miss you more than you can possibly imagine, but I don’t want you to set foot in this place. Do you understand me?”

  I sat up in bed as fresh worry sobered me. “Is everything okay? You’re scaring me, Blake.”

  “I’m fine. It’s nothing to worry about. Being here… you seeing me this way… That isn’t a memory I want for either of us.”

  “But what if—”

  “How are Mom and Dad?”

  What if you can’t come home? was the question neither of us wanted to contemplate. I took an unsteady breath, decided to respect his wish, and mercifully changed the subject.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  BLAKE

  “What the fuck is this?” I sifted through the stack of papers Evans had dropped in front of me.

  “Looks like it’s a detailed analysis of the code.”

  Evans was on the other side of one of the small round tables reserved for inmates and their visitors. I’d secretly hoped for another visitor, but I was glad that Erica had respected my wishes and not come. I wanted to see her, if only for a few minutes. I wanted the chance to comfort her in any way that I could, even if it was on the other side of a piece of glass, but I also didn’t want her to see me this way.

  Max had been right about one thing. I’d never paid much attention to my looks, at least not the way he did. I had a decent collection of vintage T-shirts that I could easily replace with a closet full of three-piece suits to wear to work every day, but I didn’t care about putting on airs the way others did. I never had. I knew who I was, and I didn’t need glamour to back up the wealth I’d accumulated or the success I’d earned without all that superficial crap.

  Still, with the wealth, I’d grown used to the finer things. Spending my days in a concrete box with access to only the bare necessities was a far cry from my real life. Real life, or old life? Damn, I’d fallen too far, and I didn’t want Erica to know it.

  I looked like hell, and I felt even worse. I couldn’t protect my family from in here. I couldn’t take care of everything and everyone who needed me. And I sure as hell wasn’t winning any beauty contests.

  I shoved away those thoughts and tried to concentrate on the details annotated between the lines of code, some of which I recognized as my own. Some was clearly not. What it amounted to was a fairly solid evaluation that I had not, in fact, written the entirety of the code used to manipulate the votes.

  I slid the papers back to Evans. “Took your techies long enough to put that together.”

  “They didn’t.”

  I lifted an eyebrow.

  “Someone ‘anonymously’ sent it in. Any ideas?”

  I shrugged. “You’re the experts. You tell me.”

  “You’re in jail and you’re on your way to doing some time, so why don’t we cut the shit. Who’s Trevor Cooper?”

  I stared. I assumed the notes I’d just skimmed through were enough to convince the police that I wasn’t guilty, but I could tell Evans wasn’t giving up the fight that easily. I was going to have to draw this out with crayon for him to believe I wasn’t at the center of this.

  He went on. “Gove is telling us he’s some sort of cyber-rival of yours? From where I stand, it seems like you coordinated this effort with someone else and now you’re trying to toss the blame onto him.”

  I let out a dry laugh but otherwise held my silence.

  “Damnit, Blake, start talking.”

  “I can’t get a word in edgewise. And why bother when you think you’ve got it all figured out already? I’d hate to burst your bubble by filling you in on the details, otherwise known as the truth.”

  He sat back in his chair and worked his jaw. “I don’t like you, Landon.”

  “The feeling is mutual.”

  “I don’t underestimate your intelligence, however.”

  “I can’t say the same about you.”

  He grimaced, and I knew his patience was wearing thin.

  Now was the time. I wasn’t holding on to any hope that Evans would hear reason, but at least he was asking questions. Dean had told him about Trevor, and there was enough proof distinguishing his code from mine in front of me that Evans might have to follow some new leads if he had any chance of making a case out of this.

  Beyond all that, things couldn’t get much worse. Every day I spent in jail was a day without Erica, and I wasn’t ready to martyr myself for Brian’s kid brother, no matter what had happened in the past.

  I drew in a steeling breath, preparing to tell him the whole story. “Fine. What do you want to know?”

  “Let’s start with Trevor. How do you know him?”

  “It’s safe to assume that you are aware of all the details surrounding M89, correct?”

  Evans relaxed back, that shit-eating smile back on his face. “For the sake of conversation, let’s assume that.”

  “Fine. When Brian Cooper committed suicide, he was survived by his mother and one brother, Trevor.”

  Evan’s smile slipped a bit. “Continue.”

  “I don’t have to tell you my story. I developed Banksoft, and I’ve invested in a number of my own projects since then. A few years ago, I noticed a few of my sites being targeted by a hacker or possibly a group of hackers. Nothing serious. Nothing that my team couldn’t work around. Mainly a nuisance.”

  “And you think that was Trevor.”

  “I know it was him. He credited this new generation of M89 every chance he got. I never spent much time trying to track him down. It seemed like more effort than it was worth, but Erica found him through his mother and confronted him about everything. He all but admitted it, but promptly went off the grid again. He’s a shitty programmer, but he’s good at staying under the radar.”

  “Okay. Say this is all true. Why would he get involved in rigging an election? Is he tied to Fitzgerald in some way?”

  “His only connection to Fitzgerald is through me and Erica. He doesn’t care about money or prestige. He’s built his life around avenging Brian. And what better way to avenge his dead brother than to see his former cohort behind bars for the very same thing that made Brian hang himself? Fitzgerald’s election was just the vehicle to implicate me.”

  Several empty minutes passed while I tried not to think about the life that both Evans and Trevor had been wishing for me. A life behind bars, maybe not forever, but long enough to miss a thousand precious moments I’d never get back. Moments with Erica and our child, the family that we were so close to having. That Trevor might be able see this plan through made me sick.

  I curled my hands into tight fists, pressing them into the tops of my thighs. Evans’s voice cut the silence.

  “How do I know you’re not just feeding me a load of shit?”

  I leaned in with a glare, more irate than ever that after holding all of that back until now, his immediate response was skepticism.

  “Let’s get something straight, Evans. If I rigged this fucking election, which I didn’t, you’d have never known it. Second, if by some miracle your band of geniuses found a way to tie it to me, I’d own it.”

  He snorted. “You’re prideful, I’ll give you that.”

  “Call it what you want, but having my name associated with any part of this bullshit is insulting. I brought a dozen of the most powerful Wall Street scumbags to their fucking knees when I was thirteen years old. You think I can’t rig a voting machine undetected? Give me a fucking break.”

  Red seeped into Evans’s cheeks, and he adjusted his shirt collar around his neck. “So if you’re telling me the truth, and Trevor is behind all of this, where would I find him?”

  I shrugged. “Figure it out.”

  “You want out of here, Landon? Or do you want your kid visiting you behind bars?”

  I bit down hard on all the things I wanted say to Evans. “I wouldn’t be behind bars if it wasn’t for you. Now you’re trying to squeeze me to do your fucking job for you, is that right?”

  His nostrils flared. “You think about it. Thin
k long and hard about it.”

  His phone rang then, a shrill annoying sound. He answered and held the phone to his ear. “Evans.” He stared past me. “You did? Where?” A second later he stood and the chair scraped loudly against the concrete floor. “I’ll be there in ten.”

  He shot me an inscrutable look and left.

  * * *

  ERICA

  I’d spent the next couple nights at Marie’s house, and I was glad for it. Even though I was still distraught with missing Blake and worrying about our future, I appreciated having her near. The same kind of carefree spirit and tender heart that made her love quickly and bruise easily made her a person who was comfortable and natural to be with. Warm and unassuming, she never judged, never let her worries compound mine.

  I was a long way from relief, but the progress I’d made with Sid had given me hope. We had anonymously sent Evans the analysis compiled thanks to Geoff’s contact. While I waited for any word on that, I also waited for Daniel to reach out to me.

  I’d run our brief conversation over and over again in my head. He’d seemed genuine. Genuinely pissed about his situation, and also genuinely sorry that he’d failed me so miserably. Hopefully he’d be genuine in wanting to find Trevor, because he was the key. He was the shadow who’d haunted our lives for too long. Sometimes I couldn’t believe that I’d managed to find him once. I cursed myself over and over for letting him slip away. I’d been rash going to him on my own. I should have waited for Blake’s help. Maybe we wouldn’t be here now, facing the prospect of a future divided.

  In the mornings, I went to the office. Having the simple routine and the company of the people at work was a small comfort. I spent most of the day trying to learn more about other computer fraud cases and comparing our situation to others. Most of the time, doing so only left me more anxious.

 

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