Shifting (Swans Landing)

by Norris, Shana

  The door squeaked a little when I opened it. I stepped into the darkened room, breathing in the familiar scent. Sailor. If I closed my eyes, I could feel her all around me. The room was full of her and of the memories I had with her. Her fiddle sat on a chair in the corner, now coated with a layer of dust. Her clothes were still tossed around the floor, as if she had changed out of them that day.

  On the dresser was a framed picture of the two of us. We were ten in the picture, and both of us held up crabs, dangling by one claw, as we grinned wide for the camera.

  I set the picture back down in its place and then crossed the room to Sailor’s bed. She still had the same yellow comforter she’d had for years, with the same goldfish shaped pillow tossed on top of it. I laid back on the bed, breathing deeply as I turned my face toward the pillows.

  “What are you doing in here?”

  I sat up, startled. Mara stood in the doorway, a blanket clutched in her arms.

  “I was just...” I let my voice trail off, shrugging. “What are you doing?”

  “Miss Gale seems cold, so I went to find another blanket.” She stepped into the room, looking around cautiously, as if she expected Sailor to jump out at her at any moment.

  The goldfish pillow tumbled off the bed as I leaped to my feet. “Oh, okay. We should give it to her then.”

  But Mara didn’t move. Her gaze scanned over the room before settling on me again.

  “You feel closer to her here, don’t you?” she asked, her voice sad and small.

  I dug my hands into my pockets and nodded. “I spent a lot of time with her here.”

  My cheeks flamed at the smirk Mara gave me.

  “Not like that,” I said quickly. “I mean, we hung out here a lot. I used to spend the night with Sailor all the time when we were kids. We’d always get into trouble with Miss Gale.” I laughed as a memory sprang into my mind. “Once, we got into Miss Gale’s cold cream that she always used at night. She said it was for keeping wrinkles away, so we tried to put it on a lizard Sailor had found outside. When Miss Gale found out, she chased us both up and down the street, threatening to whip our behinds if she caught us.”

  Mara smiled, though I could see the sadness in her eyes. “I wish I had memories like that with Josh. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have anything, like maybe it was all a dream. Maybe he’ll come back and things won’t be the same as they were.” She swallowed, blinking quickly.

  I hugged her, pulling her close. She tensed at first, but then she relaxed and laid her head on my chest.

  It was what I had wanted for months now, to be this close to her. But it felt wrong somehow.

  After a moment, she pulled away. “I think I’m going to stay here with Miss Gale tonight,” she said.

  “I’ll stay too,” I said quickly. “To keep you company.”

  Mara rolled her eyes. “Sure, because the couch looks big enough for both of us.”

  I gestured toward the bed. “I’m sure Sailor won’t mind if we use her bed. It won’t be the first time we’ve slept together.”

  I meant it as a joke, but the look in Mara’s eyes told me I’d stepped over a line she had refused to cross. We hadn’t spoken about that one night she had spent in my bed.

  But we were supposed to be friends. I was a nice guy. I could keep my hands to myself. Well, maybe not with Elizabeth, but this was Mara. I’d been a perfect little gentleman before. I could probably do it again for one night.

  “Dylan,” Mara started.

  But I didn’t want to hear the “Let’s be friends” speech for the hundredth time.

  “Sharing a bed with me doesn’t mean you’re cheating on Josh,” I said.

  “I know that,” Mara snapped. “But it’s complicated.”

  “It’s just sleeping! The couch is lumpy, the bed would be much more comfortable. And so what if something did happen? Would that be so terrible? Am I repulsive?”

  Mara shook her head and started to turn, but I grabbed her arm, pulling her back to face me.

  “Josh left you, if you hadn’t noticed,” I said through clenched teeth. “I’m the one who’s still here. I’m the one who has listened to you and held you when you cried these last couple of months. Don’t I get anything for that? No, because you think you’re in love with a guy who didn’t even care enough to stick around. A guy who might not even still be alive.”

  Mara’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. She stared at me, frozen for a moment. Then anger clouded her face and she pulled her arm from my grasp.

  “I think you should leave,” she said, her mouth tight.

  I reached toward her, feeling terrible for what I’d said. I didn’t want Josh dead. I might not exactly like the guy, but I’d never want him dead. He had to keep Sailor safe until she came home.

  “Mara, I—”

  But she stepped away from me, turning her head. “Just go,” she said, her chin quivering slightly.

  I stood there for a moment longer, but she refused to look at me.

  “Fine,” I growled. Ducking my head, I walked past her and headed down the hall.

  Chapter Eleven

  The agitation I’d felt about the things going on around the island added fuel to the frustration now coursing through my body after my fight with Mara.

  I didn’t want to be one of those guys who got angry over little things, but I was tired of being the nice, invisible guy I’d always been. I had tried being nice to everyone. I had tried not drawing attention to myself. I had tried to go along with what everyone else wanted, and what did it get me? Mara chose Josh over me, even when he wasn’t here. Elizabeth was happy to keep our relationship a secret while she paraded around with those imbeciles she called friends.

  I was still invisible Dylan Waverly. I was still stuck.

  I walked with my head down, kicking at small rocks and broken seashells that littered the path along Swans Landing’s main road. An engine revved behind me, drawing closer, but I didn’t look up until the ATV skidded to a stop in front of me.

  “What’s a little fish doing so far from the water?” Kyle McCutcheon snarled.

  I glared at Kyle, then turned and started walking in the opposite direction.

  The ATV’s engine roared as Kyle revved it, then he sped around me, swerving so he blocked my path. A cloud of sand billowed around us as he leaned over the handlebars, sneering at me.

  “I’m talking to you, Fish Boy,” Kyle growled. “You think that stunt you pulled at the dock was funny?”

  “It was one of my better moves,” I told him.

  Kyle revved the engine. “You’d better watch it, Waverly, or I’m going to kick your ass one of these days.”

  I held out my arms wide. “Why wait? I’m right here, McCutcheon.”

  Kyle’s jaw twitched as he studied me. He revved the engine again, as if he thought it was menacing. “You’re lucky I have something to do today.”

  But I wasn’t in the mood to back down. Adrenaline pumped through me, turning my frustration into a burning rage. I wanted to hit something, to feel the release of action, and Kyle’s face looked like as good a punching bag as any.

  I leaned over the ATV, pushing at his shoulders. “Come on. Do it.”

  “Don’t touch me, freak.” Kyle spat at the ground near my feet.

  I lunged at him, wrapping one arm around his neck and ripping him off the ATV. Caught by surprise, he slammed into the sandy asphalt, his head smacking the ground with a crack. I was on top of him immediately, swinging my fists to connect with any part of his body I could reach. It felt good, this release of energy. The sound of my knuckles smashing against Kyle’s face urged me on.

  It didn’t take Kyle long to fight back. He kicked at me, pushing me off him enough that he could get up and gain the upper hand. He threw me onto the street, knocking the air out of me for a moment. Kyle hovered over me, his right foot connecting with my stomach. I curled up, rolling onto my side and groaning as Kyle kicked me again.

  “You little bastar
d,” Kyle roared. “What did you think you’d do, huh? You think you can really take me, freak?”

  I uncurled myself long enough to wrap my arms around Kyle’s leg when he swung it my way again. I twisted his foot, pulling hard and knocking him off balance. Kyle tumbled to the ground next to me and I straddled his stomach, my fists once again swinging wildly at his face. I heard a crack and then a gush of blood oozed from Kyle’s nose.

  The sound of the ocean roared loud in my ears as I watched the blood drip down Kyle’s cheek. My fists were frozen in mid-air and I felt exhausted and disconnected from what was happening.

  My hesitation gave Kyle the advantage once again. He pushed me off of him and then rolled to his knees, lunging at me. I lay on the road, not even bothering to shield my face as Kyle pummeled his fist into my mouth and nose.

  * * *

  “Where have you been?” Elizabeth crossed her arms when I emerged from the trees at Pirate’s Cove. Her face was twisted into a scowl, but my gaze was on the bikini top and tiny shorts she wore, her long tanned legs planted in the golden sand.

  Elizabeth’s eyes widened when she got a good look at me. She raced across the sand, her hand over her mouth.

  “Oh my god, Dylan,” she said. “You’re bleeding. What happened?”

  Sailor was gone. Mara treated me like she never trusted me. I didn’t have anyone.

  Except Elizabeth.

  If Mara could spend her days crying over a guy who wasn’t even here, I could spend mine forgetting about her with a girl who couldn’t seem to stay away.

  I closed the distance between us, my eyes locked on hers. I crushed my swollen mouth to hers, pressing my hand into the back of her head and wrapping my other arm around her waist to pull her as close as possible. She smelled like sand and tasted like coconut lip gloss. I pulled her up on her tiptoes, my tongue twisting around hers. My body ached from Kyle’s beating, but the pain took away my ability to think about anything else.

  Elizabeth looked dazed when she finally pulled back to catch her breath. “Whoa there, Fish Boy,” she said, laughing shakily. “Where did that come from?”

  I wasn’t in the mood to talk. “Let’s go swimming.”

  I kicked off my jeans and then pulled her into the water with me, sinking low into the rippling waves. The ache of the change started deep in my bones and I turned back to Elizabeth, kissing her again. I didn’t want to let her go as my body shuddered and we slipped under the water, my bones popping and skin shredding into scales.

  We resurfaced once the change was complete, Elizabeth coughing and gasping for air. “Some of us can’t breathe underwater,” she reminded me.

  I pushed a lock of wet hair away from her face. “Be glad you can’t.”

  Elizabeth laid back on the surface, stretching her arms out to the sides. “I thought you fish people all loved to be in the water.” She squinted in the late afternoon sunlight. “Where were you anyway? And what happened to your face?”

  I ignored her questions. “Sometimes I want things to be simple. To be one person instead of two.”

  “To be human?” Elizabeth asked.

  I shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “Being human isn’t always as simple as you think,” Elizabeth said. “Sometimes even we have to be two people, whether we want to or not.”

  I studied her, thinking of the Elizabeth Connors I saw at school and the Elizabeth Connors that swam here with me now. How many different Elizabeths were there inside her?

  And which one was real?

  “What’s this all about, Elizabeth?” I asked.

  She blinked. “What?”

  I gestured from her to me. “This. What is this about?”

  She moved toward me, slipping her arms around my neck. “Whatever you want it to be about.”

  I pulled out of her grasp. “I’m not Kyle or one of those other dumb guys that follows you around. Why are you doing this? What exactly are you getting out of playing around with me?”

  She turned her head, looking at the surface of the water next to me. I wrapped my hands around her waist, helping to keep her head above the waves.

  “I don’t want to leave the island,” she said at last.

  “Why would you leave?”

  She turned her gaze back to me, her forehead wrinkled into a deep scowl. “Because my daddy says we’ll die if we stay here. The fish are disappearing, Dylan. The tourists aren’t coming. The humans and the finfolk don’t get along. People like your best buddy Lake Westray are driving my daddy out of business. We’re going to have to leave to find work. We’ll have to move.”

  My grip on her waist went slack for a moment and she slipped under. I quickly steadied her as she coughed out a mouthful of water.

  “So you think if you mess around with me, I can convince Lake to do what? Let your daddy have all the good fishing spots?”

  Elizabeth shot me a withering look. “Don’t flatter yourself, Dylan. You’re not that important in my daddy’s eyes.”

  “Then what part do I play in this?” I asked.

  Her eyes looked red, but I couldn’t tell for sure if that was from tears or the salt water. “I’m sick of being afraid. I’ve grown up hearing my daddy tell me how bad all of you are. But Mara saved his life, and then that day at the dock, with Kyle, you stood up to him. For me.” She swallowed, blinking quickly. “I thought maybe I could find a way to stay if we weren’t all so afraid of each other.”

  I shook my head. “You have a chance I don’t have. You can leave this island and find something better.”

  Elizabeth’s jaw twitched. “I see all of you people swimming and fishing and living your lives as if the rest of us don’t even exist. It doesn’t matter if we’re here or not, all of you will still manage to survive. You’re tied to this island in a way we aren’t. It’s not fair. This is my home too.”

  I hated the way she said “you people,” as if we were completely separate from her.

  “So how do I fit into all of this?” I asked through clenched teeth.

  Elizabeth’s lips looked bluer than before. The water was too cold for her, and she’d need to go back to shore soon.

  “I thought if I could get close to you, get to know you, then maybe you could help me fix the people on this island,” she said. “Maybe we could convince Lake and my daddy to work together instead of fighting each other.”

  She spoke with that same Elizabeth Connors confidence I had always known. Beneath the girl who kissed me and looked at me as if she wanted nothing except me, she was still the same scheming, lying, manipulative person she’d always been.

  And I was still just a pawn in her game. Something to help her get what she wanted.

  “You need to get back to shore,” I told her. I turned toward the beach, pulling her along beside me.

  “Dylan,” Elizabeth started, but a wave splashed water into her mouth and she coughed.

  I changed back to my human form as we drew close to shore, rising up on my legs to walk through the crashing surf. I let my arm drop from Elizabeth’s waist. She struggled through the current next to me, but I didn’t look her way.

  “Dylan, listen to me—”

  I grabbed my clothes from the beach and pulled them on, ignoring the sand that clung to them. “I’m done playing your game, Elizabeth. If that was all you ever wanted, all you had to do was talk to me. Not...” I gestured between us. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

  “How else was I supposed to get close to you?”

  “I’m a pretty reasonable guy, once you get to know me.” I glanced at her. “If you ever bother getting to know me.”

  My feet slipped across the sand as I marched toward the tree line.

  “Dylan, wait. It’s not like that.”

  I didn’t want to hear her lies. “You don’t have to pretend anymore,” I told her. “Go back to your friends and forget any of this happened.”

  She stopped, looking at me with glassy eyes. I resisted the urge to go to her and press my lips to her
s one last time.

  “What am I supposed to do now?” she asked. “My daddy is serious about leaving. This is my home.”

  “I don’t care what you do. It’s not my problem, is it?”

  Elizabeth flinched, taking a step back.

  “You don’t even realize how lucky you are,” I said, spitting the words with as much venom in my tone as I could. “You think I would choose a life stuck on a dying island? Do you think it’s fun always choosing between the land and the water? Do you think I enjoy beatings from your boyfriends because of who I am?” I stalked away, putting distance between us. “Do us both a favor and get out of here. Don’t be forgotten. Be human.”

  I left her as I slipped into the trees, my body aching from the effects of the water and her touch.

  Chapter Twelve

  My mom freaked out when she saw the aftermath of Kyle’s fists on my face. She demanded to know who had done it, but I wouldn’t tell. What was the point? She would either call his parents and cause even more problems, or she’d ignore it because of the strained human-finfolk relationship.

  But this was Swans Landing, and nothing stayed secret for long. By the next morning, everyone knew. They stared as I walked across the lawn of the school. They whispered behind my back when I passed in the hall. I wasn’t invisible anymore and I could feel all the stares burning holes into my skin. I sat in the back of all my classes, ignoring everyone else around me. At lunch, I went to the library so I wouldn’t have to deal with them.

  “Hey.”

  I looked up from the calculus homework I was working on to find Mara standing at the end of the table.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “You look terrible,” she told me.

  I gave her a half-smile.

  “Can I sit down?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “If you want.”

  She slid into the seat across from me, dropping her backpack at her feet. “I’m really sorry about yesterday.”

  “It’s fine,” I told her, looking down at my paper. The numbers weren’t making much sense and I hadn’t been able to focus.