“No, it’s not,” Mara said. “I think we’re both really stressed and worried, and we’re taking it out on each other. Which isn’t a good thing. I like you, Dylan, and I want to be friends.”
Friends. I would always be the friend.
“I want to be friends too. I really didn’t mean anything by suggesting we share the bed. It was supposed to be a joke.”
Mara sighed. “I guess I’m not in a joking mood these days. Sorry.”
“I’m sorry for what I said.” I rolled my pencil back and forth on the table. “I don’t want Josh dead, you know.”
Mara nodded. “I know.”
A laugh nearby caught my attention. Beyond Mara’s shoulder, Elizabeth and Jackie walked through the library door. Elizabeth’s gaze caught mine for a moment, but then she looked away quickly as she headed toward the computers.
Mara looked over her shoulder, then turned back to me, rolling her eyes. “The Swans Landing Witch is in full-force today. In gym class, she kept calling me Tuna.”
Elizabeth sat down at the end of the row of computers. She leaned over to say something to Jackie and then laughed again.
“Maybe she’s under a lot of stress too,” I said.
Mara wrinkled her nose. “What has gotten into you lately?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“That’s the second time in two weeks you’ve defended Elizabeth Connors.”
If I wasn’t careful, Mara would figure out something had happened between Elizabeth and me. And on an island as small as Swans Landing, secrets were hard to keep. If one person could figure it out, eventually everyone would.
But did it matter anymore?
“Maybe I’m tired of fighting with humans,” I said.
“We’re not talking about humans,” Mara told me. “We’re talking about Elizabeth Connors. She’s an entirely different species of her own.”
As if on cue, Elizabeth and Jackie got up from the computers. They turned our way, Elizabeth leading the path toward our table, a smirk etched on her face.
“Hello, Tuna,” she said to Mara. She barely glanced at me. “Fish Boy. I thought I smelled something rotten over here.”
Mara sighed. “Your jokes are getting old, Elizabeth. Call me when you have some new material.”
Elizabeth’s smirk deepened as she glared down at Mara. “What’s the matter? Upset your boyfriend ran off with a whale?”
“I guess you’re still jealous that he chose me over you, huh?” Mara asked.
Jackie sucked in a gasp, her eyes wide as she looked at Mara. “Don’t flatter yourself, Westray,” she said. “Elizabeth could have had Josh if she really wanted him.”
Elizabeth tossed her hair over her shoulder. “I have better things to do than play around with fish.”
My hand clenched around my pencil, but I bit my lip to keep from speaking.
“Besides,” Elizabeth snarled, “it doesn’t matter anyway. He’s probably dead now. I always knew you people were shark bait.”
Mara leaped from her chair, her nose an inch from Elizabeth’s. “One more word,” she growled in a low voice. “And you’ll get my foot up your—”
“Girls,” Ms. Perez, the school librarian, hissed from her desk. “If you don’t break it up right now, you’ll all get a trip to the principal’s office.”
Elizabeth stepped back, giving Mara one last smirk. “See you later, Tuna.”
She turned, ignoring me as if I didn’t exist. I clenched my fist tighter, the pencil in my hand cracking. Don’t say anything.
But I didn’t listen to my own advice.
“Elizabeth,” I said.
She stopped, her shoulders tensed. Jackie looked back at me, her eyebrows raised. Even Mara studied me with confusion etched on her face.
It was several long moments before Elizabeth turned around to face me. Her expression was neutral, but her eyes held a hint of fear.
“What do you want, Fish Boy?” Her voice dripped with contempt, as it always had whenever she spoke to me. She really was two entirely different people.
“Tell your idiot boyfriend I hope he enjoys the broken nose I gave him,” I said.
Elizabeth wrinkled her nose, casting a disgusted look at me. “Tell him yourself.” Then she spun on her heel and walked away, never once looking back at me.
Mara sat down again, tapping her fingers on the table. Seconds ticked by, but she didn’t say anything. I couldn’t meet her gaze. I kept my eyes focused on the jumble of numbers scratched across the page in front of me.
“Dylan?” Mara finally asked.
I forced myself to look up and meet her golden brown eyes. I could see the question there, on the tip of her tongue. I clenched my teeth, waiting for her to ask.
But instead, she said, “I think you killed your pencil.”
I opened my hand, releasing the two pieces of broken pencil.
* * *
“Mutant freak.”
“I can’t believe he showed up today.”
I buried my hands deep in my pockets, trying to block out the sounds of the voices around me, none of which were being quiet. They didn’t care if I heard. They wanted me to hear. They wanted me to know I was not like them. I could walk the same halls they did and act as human as I wanted to, but I would never be the same as them.
I missed Sailor so much my chest felt hollow.
“Where do you think you’re going, freak?”
Kyle and his friends stood in my way, fanned out in a line to block my path. They all had their arms crossed, matching scowls on their faces.
I tried to push between them, but Kyle and one of his friends pushed me backward. “I’m trying to get to class, dumbass,” I told him.
Kyle stepped forward, sneering down at me. “My handiwork looks good on you, Fish Boy. Maybe I should do it again real soon.”
I became aware of the audience around us. Movement in the hall had come to a complete stop and everyone watched the exchange between Kyle and me. I spotted Elizabeth standing with Jackie behind the line of guys. She stared at me, her green eyes wide and nervous.
I wanted to see the smile fall off Kyle’s face when he heard what I’d been doing with Elizabeth these last few days. I wanted him to know that she had chosen me, the invisible Fish Boy, over him.
I could see it in her face, in the rigid way she stood. She was waiting for me to tell Kyle, to tell everyone what she had done. All I had to do was open my mouth, and I’d tear down the facade Elizabeth had carefully built around her. Maybe we really could change the way finfolk and humans in this school acted toward each other. We could break through the barriers.
Do you trust me? I had asked her.
Yes, she had said.
But she didn’t really. Not fully. Maybe she had never really trusted anyone.
“What are you staring at?” Kyle asked. He pushed at my shoulder, breaking my lock on Elizabeth’s gaze.
I focused on him, meeting his snarling glare with a calm, restrained smile. “I’m staring at the biggest jackass on the island,” I told him.
There was a pause, a moment when everyone seemed to hold their breath after I had spoken, waiting to see what would happen next.
Then Kyle swung one fist, aiming at my head. I ducked and slammed my shoulder into his gut, knocking him into his friends, who all scrambled to leap on me in his defense. The punches came from every direction, slamming into my back, sides, head.
“Break it up!” a voice shouted over the noise. “Break it up now!”
Teachers ripped us apart, dragging each of us to different parts of the hall. Mr. Richter had hold of my left arm, his fingers digging painfully into my bicep. My lip pulsed, probably even more swollen than it had been before.
“Get to class!” Mr. Richter roared at the other students, who all scrambled away. Then he looked between those of us that were left. Kyle already had the purple bruise of what would probably become a black eye.
“You know the rules,” Mr. Richter barked. “S
uspension. All of you. You can explain it in my office while I call your parents.”
Mr. Richter and the other teachers led us down the hall toward the guidance office. Kyle and his friends protested, but I tuned them out. It didn’t matter. Nothing had ever mattered around here.
Chapter Thirteen
I knew she would be there before I’d even broken through the trees to the little strip of beach, so I wasn’t surprised to see the figure standing at the edge of the water.
“You’re supposed to be at school,” I said. It was the day of my suspension, the day after my fight with Kyle in the hall at school. My parents had given me strict instructions to stay at home all day while they were at work, but I was restless and had to get out of the house.
Elizabeth turned to me. The wind whipped her hair around her head, but I could tell she had been crying. Red lines etched across her eyes and on her nose.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice cracking.
I stepped past her, barely dipping my toes into the surf where it slipped onto the wet sand. The ocean stretched out far to the horizon, empty and gray. Thick clouds hung in the sky and thunder rumbled over the water, but the storm was still far out to sea. If we were lucky, it would pass by without noticing the tiny island. Just like everything else did now, except the mists. They were still here, coating us like a blanket.
“Dylan.” Elizabeth slipped her arms around my waist from behind, pressing her forehead into my shoulder blade. Her breath tickled my arm, sending a shiver through me. “Please talk to me.”
“What are you sorry about?” I asked.
“About Kyle,” she said. “And the other day. I’m sorry we fought.”
“But you’re not sorry about using me.”
She lifted her head. “I told you, my daddy wants to leave the island. I have to do something.”
There were two Elizabeths, and I could never be sure which one I was speaking to.
But there were also two Dylans. The water at my feet called to me, filling me with the strength of that other Dylan. The island was dying, we all knew that. Maybe there was some truth to the idea that it was being forgotten, as ridiculous as that might be. Maybe we would all be forgotten, those of us still stuck here.
But Elizabeth had a choice I didn’t. She didn’t have to be forgotten.
“You don’t belong here,” I said.
“This is my home.”
I shook my head, pulling her arms away from me. “This island doesn’t belong to you. The finfolk have been here a lot longer than your family has. It’s our island and we’ll run you off if we have to.”
Elizabeth’s mouth dropped open and she stepped back. “We live here too.”
“Do you know how your people have tormented us over the years?” I pointed at the bruises on my face. “Do you see what you’ve done? This island isn’t yours anymore. We’re done trying to live with you.”
Elizabeth glared at me. “You’re not the Dylan I know.”
I shrugged, turning my back on her. “You never really knew me, did you? It was always a game, for both of us. I had my fun. I’m done with you now.”
I knew my words had stung her, even though I kept my eyes on the horizon. I had to make her leave. I had to let her go, to let her have the chance I didn’t.
“Fine,” Elizabeth said after a moment. “If that’s the way you want it to be.”
“It is.”
A moment passed, then I heard her footsteps crunch across the sand toward the path that would lead her back through the trees.
I closed my eyes, fighting back the urges inside me. One half told me to dive into the water and swim as far and as deep as I could.
The other half told me to run down that path leading into the trees.
But I didn’t do either. I stayed where I was, trying to resist the calls of both land and water that fought inside me. I stood there, unmoving for a long time, watching the waves crash on the shore.
A crunch of sand and seashells behind me announced another presence some time later.
“So you want to tell me what’s been going on?” Mara asked.
I watched a sea gull dive toward the water, then swoop back toward the clouds. “Not really.”
“Okay.” Mara wrapped her arms around herself, lifting her face to the wind over the water.
I dug my hands into my pockets, hunching my shoulders in on myself. Foam gathered around my feet, the water licking at my ankles.
“How much longer do you think it’ll take?” I asked.
I wasn’t sure what I meant: how much longer before Josh and Sailor returned, or how much longer before we really did die out along with the island.
“I don’t know,” Mara answered.
“What should we do now?”
“We keep holding on, like we always do,” Mara said.
* * *
“I think that’s enough,” Mr. Moody said as he took the broom from me. “You’ve been here all day, working yourself to death. You’re going to be late.”
“I can help you close,” I said.
But Mr. Moody shook his head. “You don’t belong here tonight, you know that.”
I felt the pull inside me, calling me. It had grown stronger as the afternoon passed and night began to settle over the island. I knew it would be unbearable if I didn’t go, but I wasn’t sure Mr. Moody was right. I didn’t know where I belonged anymore.
“Go on,” Mr. Moody said. “Things are taken care of. I’ll finish up.”
I nodded and shoved my hands deep into my pockets. My old flip flops shuffled across the floor that was always sandy, no matter how much I swept it. Just as I reached the door, Mr. Moody cleared his throat.
“Do you…” He coughed and swept the broom back and forth over the floor at his feet. “Have you heard anything from Sailor?”
I had never heard him ask about Sailor before. She told me once that Mr. Moody had never really been a part of her life. He was her grandfather, and for reasons I didn’t understand, he and Miss Gale had never married. I didn’t know what the status of their relationship was these days, other than him being Miss Gale’s employer. They never behaved any differently toward each other besides a neutral business relationship. Not that I’d seen anyway.
“No,” I said. “I’m sorry. I haven’t heard anything.”
Mr. Moody continued sweeping the floor I had just swept and nodded, his gaze locked on the end of his broom. “Okay. Well, good night.”
The night was black when I stepped outside the store. Fog hung thick in the air, and the wind blew leaves and bits of trash across the deserted street. Farther down the road, some of the homes glowed with light that shone through the windows. But not all of the homes were occupied that night.
I climbed onto my bike and followed the road toward the southern end of the island. There was no moon to light the street and I couldn’t see more than a couple of feet in front of me, but I knew the way. Something inside pulled me along the road, closer to the beach where the rest of the people like me were gathered.
The crowd was restless when I arrived. Mom spotted me and waved, but I didn’t go to join my family. My gaze scanned over the group, trying to count those who remained. Maybe thirty or so. I could remember Song Nights as a kid when the beach was full of finfolk waiting to swim and sing.
“I was starting to think you weren’t coming,” Mara said when she found me.
“I almost didn’t.”
My words hung in the air between us as we watched some little kids chase each other around the beach, laughing and shrieking.
“Do you regret not going with Sailor?” Mara asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t want to be reminded how much different I am than everyone else. I don’t want to see the homeland.”
Mara crossed her arms, shivering in the cool wind that whipped around us. “Sometimes I wish I had gone. I wonder what it’s like.”
“Our ancestors came here to get away from it,” I said. “Maybe there�
��s a reason they decided to live among humans.”
Mara shook her head. “You always talk about humans as if they’re completely different from you. I’ve lived a human life, Dylan, and I can tell you, we’re not that different.”
The moment arrived. People began stripping off clothes, tossing them onto the beach behind them as they walked into the crashing surf at Pirate’s Cove. One by one they disappeared into the blackness of the mists and water.
“We’re different enough,” I told her. “And around here, that’s what matters.”
I resisted the urge that vibrated inside me. My body trembled and ached, but I wouldn’t give in. I had come to a conclusion as I stood watching the others. Maybe I couldn’t change what I was, but I could choose what form I wanted to be.
Mara paused as she unbuttoned her shorts. “You coming in?” she asked.
I studied the people like me, the ones who had never tried to fight for something different, who accepted life on the island as it was. But Elizabeth had shown me there was a different way. Maybe not now, but maybe someday, for those of us who chose to take it.
I didn’t want to be stuck. I didn’t want to be forgotten.
The ocean called to me, but I gritted my teeth together until my jaw ached. “No,” I said softly. “I’m not.”
Without waiting to see her reaction, I turned and walked back across the sand, burying the other Dylan deep inside.
About the author
Most days, Shana Norris still feels like she’s stuck at sixteen, which is probably why she enjoys writing about teens. She always wanted to be a mermaid and fell in love with the Outer Banks during a gray late winter years ago. She lives in a small town in eastern North Carolina with her husband and small zoo of pets, which currently includes two dogs, five cats, and five chickens.
Look for Surrendering, the final book in the Swans Landing series, coming Summer 2013.
To learn more about Swans Landing and the people living there, please visit www.shananorris.com. Follow Shana on Twitter @shananorris or on Facebook. Or email her at [email protected].
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