I can’t believe I’m doing this. I check my hair in the mirror one more time and roll my eyes at the dress Leo picked for me. Red. A bright, ruby red satin that clings to my body like it’s painted on. There’s no way I’ll be able to blend into the background.
I admit it’s a beautiful dress. I brush my hand down the length of the silky material. They wouldn’t let me pay for it, and I have a feeling it cost more than my car. But that’s the least of my problems.
I grab the matching clutch purse on the dresser and join them in the living room. The two of them are milling around the room like nervous prom dates. I can’t help but smile. I never went to prom or any school dance, but look at me now. Like Cinderella attending her first ball with two devastatingly handsome princes.
“What are you two waiting for? I thought we had a dance to go to.”
“Wow,” Leo says and elbows Asher.
Asher glances up from is phone, and the look on his face… Every nerve in my body lights up, and I go weak in the knees. I know he’s not as invested as Leo, but Asher looks as if I’m the only woman in the world.
“You clean up nice, Bambi,” he says, letting his eyes trail down my body. I’m disappointed we have someplace to be because that look promises all kinds of dirty sex.
I swallow and clear my throat, trying to break the spell. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting. We should probably go, or you’ll be late for your award.”
“Your chariot awaits,” Leo says and extends his hand.
To make it easier for me, we agreed that I’d go as Leo’s date. But that doesn’t stop Asher from placing a hand on the small of my back and helping me up the stairs when we arrive. The ballroom of the Renaissance Hotel downtown is decked out in an earthy fall theme. Several hundred people fill the room, mingling, and dancing to a full orchestra.
As we enter, the guys attract a lot of attention. A lot more than I expected. A sour taste settles in the back of my throat as all eyes turn to us. And because of their reputation, I can almost hear the whispers, speculating about me.
Several people greet them by name with handshakes or polite kisses as we make our way to the front of the room.
Leo introduces me, and there are the usual questions. Someone hands me a glass of wine, and I gratefully take a big sip to steady my nerves. I thought I’d prepared for this, but I had no idea the amount of attention we’d attract.
Once my glass is empty, it’s magically replaced with another. Leo is stopped again, and I go through another round of introductions. By the time we reach our table, I’m sure I’ve met a hundred people, but they just keep coming.
With each new group comes another round of questions. Question after question. These people seem to have no boundaries. The men are polite for the most part, but the women are vicious with their cloyingly bitter compliments.
All the attention and scrutiny bring me back to a time when everything in my life was out of control. It doesn’t matter how much older I am or more prepared, I feel like a frightened teenager all over again. Within an hour, I’m painfully aware that this was a bad idea. I shouldn’t be here, but I’m kind of stuck.
So I do what I do best. I try to go unnoticed. But every time I manage to melt into the background of the conversation, Leo pulls me back in. I can’t fault him for being attentive and trying to include me, but his attention is just making things worse. And someone else forces another glass wine on me.
It’s all too much. I feel like I can’t catch my breath, and my head starts to spin. I force a smile, but I’m on the verge of a full-on panic attack.
Asher comes up beside me and presses a steadying hand on the small of my back as if sensing the impending meltdown.
“Leo, isn’t that Heather over there? I promised to introduce her to Rose,” Asher grabs my elbow and turns to the rest of the group that’s surrounding us. “If you’ll excuse us. I’m going to steal Leo’s date for a second.”
In no shape to argue, I follow as he leads me to a side door. We step out into the sparsely populated hall, and I suck in a deep breath for the first time in what seems like an hour.
A waiter carrying a tray of wine glasses comes over and offers us another. I shake my head and try to back away, but Asher holds on tight.
“Fuck. What do we have to do to get some privacy around here,” he says and shakes his head. He tucks a curl behind my ear. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you.”
He leads me to an empty meeting room across the hall and locks the door behind us.
“Are you okay?” he asks, cupping my chin.
“I fine.”
“Fine my ass,”
I take another breath and let it out slowly. My heart is finally slowing down, and I lean back against the cold wood of the door. “I shouldn’t have agreed to come. I knew this would happen.”
“And what exactly is this?”
“I don’t do parties,” I say, trying to avoid his question. “I’m not cut out for this.”
“I’ll let you in on a little secret, I hate these things,” he says and trails his hand down my neck, lost in his own head. “I usually spend the evening at the bar, snarling at anyone who gets close enough.”
“Then why do you come?” I ask, feeling some of the panic subside.
“Appearances.” He plants a kiss on my cheek next to my ear. “Networking. But tonight I’m here for you. Leo wanted to show you off. He thought a dress and a party would be like a Cinderella moment or some shit. I’m guessing by your reaction, that’s not the case. So what is it that has you spooked, Bambi?”
“I told you not to call me that,” I say, backing away.
“You’re avoiding the question,” he says, pulling me back to his side.
“I had an unconventional childhood. My mom toured—still tours with her band MissConceptions. It was like growing up in one big frat party.” I take another breath and try to banish those memories.
“This isn’t exactly a rock star grade party,” he says. “What exactly spooked you?”
“You can dress it up in a tux, but it’s still a party. Excess, drinking, bad choices. I don’t like to be around that.”
Something in his demeanor shifts. Asher’s eyes darken as he pulls me into a crushing hug. “Fucking parents. Did someone hurt you?”
“No,” I answer out of habit. “I mean, not exactly.”
“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” His anger is almost palpable. He’s not angry at me. He’s angry on my behalf. I go soft at the thought. No one’s ever stood up for me, and suddenly I feel the need to soothe him.
“I did a lot of stupid things. Underage drinking. Drugs. When I was sixteen, I was out of control. I didn’t have a parent that told me no. One night, things spiraled out of control, and someone ended up dead.”
“Fuck, Bambi. I’m sorry.” He kisses my forehead and wipes away a stray tear. I hadn’t even realized I’d started to cry. “Was it someone close to you?”
I shake my head. “I don’t even remember her name. She was some groupie. We’d partied together the night before. We both had the same drinks and the same drugs, but she ended up dying in her sleep of an overdose.” I might not remember her name, but I’ll never forget waking up next to her cold, lifeless body. I still have nightmares about it sometimes.
“That wasn’t your fault,” he said. “Where the fuck was your mother?”
“Off doing her own thing I’m sure. She did her best to protect me, but there was a lot of press. Photos got out from that night that I wish I could take back.” I’m not surprised that this is news for him. I doubt any of this showed up in my background. Luckily, I was a minor and the band’s publicist did a great job keeping my name out of the press. Even with the photos, I was just an unnamed witness. “That night was a wake up call for me. The girl that died was only seventeen. Just a year older than me. I straightened up and made plans for a future away from that madness. But being with you and Leo feels like I’m sliding back.” I look up, and I meet his gaze. “Tell me I’m not making
another bad choice.”
“You’re not going backward. We won’t let anything bad happen to you,” Asher says, looking straight into my soul. “Like I said, I’ve got you.”
He cups my chin with both hands and kisses me softly. All the pent up fear and anxiety I’ve been holding onto tonight melts away with each tender brush of his lips. I reach up and circle his neck, needing to get closer. His solid frame is like my own personal shelter, protecting me from the hurricane of my past.
Foolishly, I’ve already fallen in love with Leo. I know what we have isn’t meant to last, but I can’t help myself. With Asher, it’s been easier to hold those feelings at bay. He’s sweet and a generous love, but has always been distant. He’s never been like this before. This is something different, something deeper than I’ve ever shared with any other man.
We have this connection. I can feel it to my bones. He sees the darkness in my soul that I keep hidden because it calls to his own. It scares me because I want to open parts of myself to him that I don’t share with anyone.
And when he’s tender and sweet like this, I have no defenses. The last brick in the wall I’d erected to keep my heart safe against this man, crumbles.
“Asher,” I whisper against his lips. “I lo—”
“Don’t,” he growls and plunges both hands into my hair, pulling me fully against his body. His soft kisses turn feral; rough and demanding. I kiss him back, desperate to be close to him in any way that I can, even if only physical.
“I need you,” he growls, picking me up. My skirt pushes up my thighs as he walks us deeper into the room. He sets me down on the conference table. I gasp as my ass hits the cold wood.
I don’t even have time to process as he yanks off my thong. His fingers find me already wet as I go for the button of his pants. This is insane. There are a thousand rich and influential people on the other side of that door, but the only thing I can think of right now is this man’s cock.
There’s not seduction or foreplay. Asher plunges into me with a grunt and starts to pound into me. His teeth sink into my neck as we build to a fast, hard release.
“Ours,” he grunts against my skin. “You never have to worry again.”
I’m close, so close, and his filthy words push me over the edge. “Yes,” I manage while rocking up to meet his thrust. “Yes. I’m yours.”
The orgasm hits and I claw into his jacket, holding on tight. The sound of our ragged breathing fills the silence.
Asher is the first one to pull away. He adjusts his pants and then runs a hand through his hair. He looks almost stricken. “I’m sorry. I didn’t bring you in here to do that.”
“It’s okay,” I say, trying to right my dress. I realize my panties are in shreds, so I’ll have to go without.
“Wait,” he says, “Let me get a washcloth.”
He goes to the small bathroom, and I’m left to wonder what just happened. This is the first time Asher initiated anything. He has always kept himself at arm’s length. Unlike with Leo, I never know where I stand with this man.
The two men are so different. Leo’s sweet and seductive. Asher is hard and demanding. He unlocks something raw and wild inside of me. And I realize that I need both sides. The soft and the hard. The light and the dark.
I realize I’m in love with both men. But despite his claim of possession, I’m not sure Asher would welcome that admission. I feel like this is a no-win situation.
Asher comes back with a washcloth, and I try my best to clean up, but it’s no use. I look like I’ve been thoroughly fucked. And that’s kind of how I feel. I’ve put myself in an impossible situation. My heart is going to be broken, no matter what happens between the three of us.
“I can’t go back out there,” I say, looking at myself in the mirror.
“There’s a back way out of the building,” he says. “I’ll call the car, and we can be out of here in a few minutes.”
“You still have the award ceremony,” I say. “I can make it home by myself.”
“Leo can stay. He’s better at this kind of thing anyway.” Asher grabs my arm and guides me to the door, checking the hallway first. “I already texted him.”
I want to argue, but I want to leave more. I need a hot bath and time alone to think.
We make it to the car without being seen. As soon as the driver takes off for the penthouse, Asher apologizes again.
“I’m sorry. I ruined your night,” he says, contrite.
“You didn’t ruin anything. You actually saved me from melting down,” I say and smile, trying to lighten the mood.
But the darkness in his eyes returns. “I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”
“Stop. Just stop already.” My nerves are still raw from our encounter in the meeting room and the realization that I’ve fallen in love with this man. I can’t stop the words from spilling out. “What the fuck is going on here? Do you even want me here? You go out of your way to avoid any kind of intimacy. You leave as soon as the sex is over. But there are times you look at me like a starving man. Times you touch me like you’re afraid to let go.” I puff out a frustrated breath and look down at my hands. “I don’t know what to think.”
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” he says, turning away from me to stare out the window.
“Of course, it does,” I say and move closer to him. “This has gone way beyond sex, and you know it. I’m in love with Leo. And I’m—”
“Don’t,” Asher growls.
“Don’t what?” I ask, challenging him.
“I know you’re in love with Leo and he’s in love with you. I’m fine with it. Actually, it’s a good thing. You make him happy, and he deserves to be happy. I won’t keep you two apart,” he says with finality, but can hear the hurt in his voice.
“You won’t what?” I grab his shirt and try to force him to look at me. “You stupid asshole. I want both of you. I’m in love with both of you. Don’t you see? You are part of this.”
“You can’t love us both.”
“Like hell, I can’t. We work well together. I need both of—”
My confession is cut off by the sound of crunching metal. The window Asher had been staring out shatters into a million sparkling stars, and then the world goes sideways.
42
Asher
My ears are ringing, and a blinding pain shoots up my left side. Our driver is already out of the car checking on us. The accident could have been so much worse. Even so, my first thoughts are of Rose. There’s a nasty gash above her eye, but other than that, she seemed fine.
“Are you hurt anywhere else?” I ask.
“I’m okay, but your arm,” she says. “We need to get you to the hospital.”
I look down. My wrist is about twice the size it should be, and my hand is hanging at an odd angle. But I hardly register the pain.
“An ambulance is on its way Ms. Morningstar,” the driver says helping Rose out of the back of the car.
“The other driver?” I ask as I exit the vehicle.
“Drove off,” he says. “I’m sorry, Mr. Knight. This white car came out of nowhere. He ran the light. I swear.”
I look over the car. The back end is damaged, and the left side smashed against a light pole. This is a busy intersection, and I know it was our driver’s fast thinking that kept us from colliding with other vehicles.
“It’s alright, Luke,” I say. “I know you did your best.”
Adrenaline is still pumping through my veins as they load us in the back of an ambulance. Leo’s already in route. My wrist is broken and along with a couple ribs. Luckily, my body shielded Rose from the worst of the impact. She’ll only have to get a couple of stitches.
Once at the emergency room, they separate us to treat our injuries. Everything is taking too long. I wait hours to get x-rays and then wait again on the orthopedist. Then there’s another wait to get the bone set. I want to check on Rose and make sure she’s really fine. The nurse keeps assuring me her injuries are minor, but
I can’t relax until I see her for myself.
The asshole that ran the red light got away. I keep telling myself it could have been so much worse. Rose could have been killed. But the only reason she was in the car in the first place was because, like an asshole, I manhandled her at the ball and she couldn’t go back. She should have been with Leo, safe. Instead, she left with me.
I’m in way too deep with this woman, and there’s no way she’ll ever be mine. What the three of us have is unsustainable. Eventually, she’ll want more and pick a side. I already know where her heart lies. She might say that she loves me, but she’s confusing passion with love. I’ve seen the way she looks at Leo—with a sense of awe and devotion. That’s love. I can make her come, but she’s never looked at me like that.
After the bone is set and they put me in a cast, I go out in the lobby and find Leo and Rose waiting for me. Leo is holding her, murmuring soft words into her hair. My heart aches at the sight.
“Are you alright?” I ask.
Rose turns, and I see an angry gash on her forehead that’s been stitched together. I feel like someone’s kicked me in my gut. Those big brown eyes filled with tears as she jumps up and wraps her arms around me.
“I was so scared,” she sobs into my chest. “I wanted to come sit with you, but they wouldn’t let me come back and see you.”
Leo presses a hand into my shoulder. “I’m glad you’re okay, man. Let’s go home.”
The ride back is uncomfortably silent. Rose clings to me while gripping Leo’s hand as if we’ll disappear if she doesn’t hold tight. I glance over to Leo. He looks stricken, his eyes never leaving Rose.
At that moment, I know exactly what I have to do.
We arrive at the penthouse, and I try to go straight to my room, but Rose stops me.
“Please, Asher,” she says, gripping my arm, “I need you. Come back to my room.”
“Not tonight, Bambi,” I say, knowing it’s the best thing for all of us if I walk away now.
She blinks up at me, tears shining in those dark saucers. “You know that’s not what I mean,” she sniffs. “Stay the night with me. With us. I need both of you tonight.”
Brothers Next Door Page 21