“What makes me feel this way?”
“Why do I choose to make poor food choices?”
“What is my core problem?”
Until you can answer those types of questions, you will keep making excuses that only you view as your roadblocks to success. We all make up excuses as a way of avoiding something we don’t want to do. Excuses are our way of making a decision okay for ourselves.
How do I know this?
Because I was once there.
I was that person.
I had that mind-set, so I am well aware of why that type of thinking only holds us back.
When my very first Weight Watchers commercial came out, people freaked out because I was sitting in a chair wearing a blazer.
“She didn’t lose weight.”
“She’s sitting down. Who can tell what she looks like?”
These were the types of comments people made about me. But in reality, these were just excuses they were making for themselves. They are the same excuses Julia is still making and the ones I made for myself over the years. That is why I can identify it for what it was.
When the second commercial came along, my stylist kept me in that damn jacket, so people still doubted my progress. It reminded me of getting the role of Effie in Dreamgirls. I heard so many people say, “She got the part, but I bet she can’t sing the music,” and, “She can sing, but can she act?”
People! Stop!
For all of those doubters, haters, and excuse-makers out there—listen up because I’ve got something to say.
Hear this loud and clear.
I am completely in charge of the choices I make about what I am doing to lose weight and get healthy.
And you know what? We all have this power.
Don’t be angry with me for something good I’ve done for myself. Be angry with yourself for not having the courage to do the same in your own life.
At the end of the day, you’re not hurting me—you’re hurting yourself.
So, stop pointing the finger at everyone else.
Stop making excuses about why you “can’t.”
And start taking action.
The same frame of mind that is keeping you from doing it is the mind that will help you to achieve what you want to do.
If you’re at home reading this book and asking yourself why I have this success and you don’t, don’t be angry with me—stop and ask yourself what your issues are that are holding you back. Don’t be afraid of the answers. Be afraid of not asking the questions.
My cousin Gina started Weight Watchers the same time I did. Every time I saw her, I was losing weight and she wasn’t. She’d make comments like, “You’re skinny and I can’t stand you,” while complaining that the program wasn’t working for her.
“Girl, you know you’re not working the program. If you were, you’d be skinny, too!” Then I told her to stop her complaining and get into the right mind-set so she could do it. When she finally made up her mind to lose the weight, it fell off just like that. If you can break down those walls you’ve spent so many years building to protect yourself, you can achieve anything.
Are you still making excuses or are you ready to make a change?
And speaking of change, I never thought I’d see the day that my entire family would gravitate toward something like losing weight. It still blows my mind. I often ask myself, Is this the same family? Everyone from the women and the men, the young and the old, is finally consciously aware of what they are putting in their bodies and want to make the right choices. Remember, I come from a family where food was a major part of every gathering and where the women would get on your case if they thought you were getting too thin. A family that loved a table full of fried chicken, pork chops, biscuits, and gravy.
Our biggest success story so far is my cousin Pam, who we lovingly refer to as our “biggest loser” because she has lost more than one hundred and five pounds so far (and counting). It had been a while since I had seen Pam, so after she lost around seventy-five pounds, I invited her to come see me at one of my shows. I saw this girl trailing me backstage but didn’t realize it was my cousin. I was only able to recognize her by the sound of her voice. I told her how amazing I thought she looked—and she did.
PAM CURB, MY COUSIN
Like a lot of women, I had slowly put on weight throughout the years without totally noticing just how much I’d gained. One morning I stepped on the scale and much to my surprise, it read 337 pounds! “No way!” I said out loud. The scale had to be wrong. I was expecting to see somewhere around three hundred pounds, but not 337. Now you might think that weighing three hundred that an extra thirty-seven pounds wouldn’t much matter, but it did. Every time I went to the doctor over the years, I always let them weigh me, but I never allowed them to tell me the number on the scale. I’d avoided it for so long that I lost track of my weight.
I didn’t think it was possible that I had gained more than one hundred pounds since my wedding day thirteen years back. I didn’t realize that I was that big. I got a little weepy-eyed because I had let myself go that far without paying any attention to how I looked or felt.
The truth is, I was tired all of the time. I chalked that up to getting up early for work, taking care of my three children, and running around all the time. I didn’t have the energy to do any of it with gusto. When my three-year-old wanted me to play with her, I couldn’t. She became intentionally defiant when I was scolding her. I’d say, “Come here right now,” but she wouldn’t move because she knew there was no way I was going to chase her. I couldn’t.
We were all at a family gathering when Jen walked through the door looking like a model. “Girl, what are doing? Tell me now!” She said she had gone on Weight Watchers. I had been on their plan before and didn’t believe her because I hadn’t lost a pound when I tried. But Jenny kept telling me how easy the program was, and by looking at her, it obviously works.
A few months later, I saw Jenny again. This time she had lost even more weight. I was mesmerized by how she looked.
“Pam, if someone gave you a book and told you to stay within these Points and you will lose weight while still eating anything you want, would you tell them no?” Jenny asked.
“I guess not,” I said.
That same night, the Lord spoke to me. “You aren’t going to be here for your kids.”
When I told my husband, Mario, about the message I had received, he said, “We want you to be here, Pam, and if you don’t make some changes, you won’t be.” He was right.
Shortly after that, Liz came to meet with some of our family members to get us all started. I was eager to jump on the bandwagon and give it a try. Liz explained the program to me in great detail. I immediately thought there was no way I could ever do it because I didn’t have time to count my Points. The reality is that I wasn’t sure I was ready to give the plan a chance. Liz assured me that I was feeling like many of her members—overwhelmed. And she was right. “Then just change one thing, Pam. Weight Watchers is a lifetime journey. Tell me one thing you are going to change for this week and I promise that you will see results.” I had to think about it for a second. When I told Liz that I ate chips for breakfast, she said, “That’s not breakfast food.” And she was right. For the next week, I made a conscious decision to eat better. I told my husband, Mario, that I was going to give Weight Watchers a try and if he wanted to help me lose weight, then he had to help me with the plan. So he woke up at 3:00 in the morning to fix me a bag of food to take to work. He boiled eggs for me, gave me apples, carrots, and all sorts of healthy choices to pick from. I wasn’t used to preparing my breakfast or lunch, so Mario’s help meant the world to me.
Mario had noticed I had gained the weight over the years but he never said a word. He wanted me to lose the weight but never really pushed me. He encouraged me to get healthy, which I didn’t understand meant losing weight. He inspired me every day by reminding me that I didn’t have to be full, only satisfied. He helped me curb my desi
re to go back for second helpings, something I never thought twice about before starting Weight Watchers. These days I have to make sure that I measure out my portions or I will still overeat.
I told my mother, husband, and children that I wanted to take a year and focus on taking care of myself so I could finally get healthy. They were all on board with that decision and said they would do whatever they could to help me get there. My husband got me started on taking walks around the neighborhood. He was committed to helping me on my journey any way he could. I was the luckiest wife on the planet because some husbands aren’t as supportive or involved. My mother helped out by making healthy dinners for us after I put in long days at work and didn’t have the time to cook for us myself. If I didn’t have everyone’s help, I am not sure I could have stayed with the program all on my own. My success has come from the love and encouragement I’ve received from all of my family.
Once I started exercising, I realized that I had to make the time to do that every day. It didn’t matter where or when as long as I got ten minutes of movement in. Since I drive a bus, I knew I had time while waiting in the lineup. I started running up and down the aisle of the bus until the passengers started loading. Sometimes I’d park the bus while waiting and walk around it for those ten minutes. My passengers began to notice what I was doing and were encouraging me to keep up the good work. The more I worked out, the better I felt, and my results were even more significant. I eventually joined a health club to take my fitness to the next level. My husband joined, too, so I would have a workout partner to keep me motivated.
Weight Watchers is the easiest plan I have ever been on. I didn’t have to deny myself anything. If I wanted to eat a piece of cake without feeling bad, I could as long as I calculated in the Points for my day. Over the course of a year or so, I lost seventy-five pounds and felt great. My knees were no longer an issue; I had more energy and could breathe a lot easier. It was right around that weight that I hit a plateau in my loss. I began getting careless with tracking my Points. I was messing up every day and couldn’t seem to get back on track. Liz reminded me that every day was a new chance to start over, so once I could get my head back into the game, I was able to focus and get back to the plan. As Liz so often reminded me, eating healthy is a lifetime journey. People think of Weight Watchers as a diet, but it isn’t. It is a way of eating you want to commit to for life. Not long ago, one of my coworkers saw me eating lunch and asked, “Are you still eating healthy?”
My answer was simple: “I have made a commitment to myself to turn my life around and this is part of it.”
To date, I’ve lost one hundred and five pounds. I’ve got fifty more to go. I don’t have a set weight goal, but I want to get down to a size 12 or 14. When I get there, I’ll be happy. My husband is grateful, too, because as he says, “I’ve got my wife back.”
My aunt Bae Mae is in her seventies and has lost more than forty-six pounds. I had only ever known Aunt Bae Mae as a big woman. She was so inspired by my weight loss that she decided to give it a try, too. I think she’s the true inspiration for making a decision to take control of her health and weight so late in life. If she can make that decision at her age, there is simply no excuse for anyone else to say they can’t do it. I was especially stunned when I heard that my uncle Charles, who is known as the barbecue man in our family because his brother once owned his own barbecue restaurant, is sitting in weekly Weight Watchers meetings, losing weight, too. These two relatives are living proof that it is never too late to get control of your health.
AUNT BAE “BABY” MAE
Age 74
I began my journey with Weight Watchers in May 2010 after one of my cousins called me to say she had started on their program. At the time, I wasn’t thinking about losing weight. I’ve never been a big eater, but I like rich food. I rather enjoy eating grits, greens with salt pork or ham hock, but most of all, I really like butter. And as they say, “Everything is better with butter!” Still, I’d been a big woman my entire life and at my age, I thought, What’s the point? She tried to entice me by telling me that the Weight Watchers people were coming to talk to everyone in the family and we were going to have our picture taken to track our progress. “Picture? I don’t want any pictures taken!” I told her the only way I would join her was if she took a bus trip with me to an upcoming family reunion. She said, “If I go with you, will you try the program with me?” I reluctantly said I would try it for a week or two.
So many members of our family had started on the Weight Watchers plan that they held their own meetings every week at our church. I really enjoyed attending those meetings because they inspired me. When I heard other people’s stories and saw how well my family members were doing on the plan, I felt like I could do it, too.
I lost two or three pounds the first week on the plan. That was enough to get me to go back to another meeting and see how I could do better during week two. I gave up drinking excessive amounts of cola like I used to and replaced it with water. I was amazed that I could eat all types of food as long as I ate them in the right portions. It took me some time to realize that I could no longer go back for a second hamburger, but at least I could still eat one if I wanted to. Today I still eat my beloved grits, but now I’ll have a half of a cup instead of a heaping spoonful serving—I get the flavor without all of the unwanted extra Points. I won’t bring my old favorite foods into the house, and though my husband still drinks his soda pop, I keep it in the basement where it is out of sight, out of mind, so I won’t be tempted. And even if I were, as a senior person, I am not walking those stairs unless I have to!
I’m a Christian woman, who believes that the Lord always has a plan. When I joined Weight Watchers I realized that, like my faith, the door is open for all those who will come. You have to accept the plan and realize that if you slip, and you might, you can’t use that as a reason to give up or stop. Even if you go a week without losing a pound, be happy that you didn’t gain one. Eating healthy is a continuous way of life. We’re all human, which means we will make mistakes. Don’t dwell on that—focus on getting back to eating right and you will feel so good.
Even my twelve-year-old cousin Star has benefited from the program. Her story is very near and dear to me because she is a young girl with a bundle of talent who has always been a little chubby and didn’t have the self-esteem to see herself as the beautiful girl she truly is. Her mother came to me awhile back to ask my thoughts on how to break her daughter into the music business. I knew from my own experiences that there is so much competition out there, and like it or not, my cousin was going to be judged on her appearance before her talent. Lord knows I had lived through that scene too many times in my life. I encouraged her mother, who was also a Weight Watchers member, to share with Star the new healthy habits from the program. That way Star could face the competition that she was up against with a fair shot of breaking out. Star said she was scared to make changes. Discouraged by Star’s refusal, her mom asked me to talk to her, hoping that I might be able to convince her to listen to the advice and learn how to eat healthy.
I spoke with Star for about an hour. I reminded her of all of her positive assets. I told her that no one is perfect—no one. We always think the grass is greener on the other side, but the reality is that everyone struggles with something. I laughed as I shared my thoughts on how everyone has a shape. Some girls have great shapes while others are built like boys. Both are still shapes. Some are built like two-liter bottles of soda and others are built like single cans.
“You know what? I was once that bottle!” I said. I think she knew what I meant.
As we talked, I assured her that no one needed to know she was changing her eating habits and that she could go at her own pace. Before we went our separate ways, I committed to becoming her mentor throughout her journey and promised that she wouldn’t go through any of these changes alone.
I didn’t have anyone to guide me like that when I was her age, but I was determined to brea
k that cycle in our family by making myself available to anyone who had the desire to get healthy. I managed to talk her into listening to what her mother had to say, and guess what? It worked! She is a whole new person; she can see herself for the amazing girl she is. While her outer appearance has definitely changed, it is her inner beauty that is finally shining through.
Altogether, seventy-five of my family members have gone on the program and, as of the writing of this book, they have collectively lost more than two thousand pounds. They attend a weekly Weight Watchers meeting where they all get together to support one another through their journeys. One of the most valuable lessons I learned from Liz was the importance of having a solid support system. That lack of support is one of the biggest reasons people gain back the weight they have worked so hard to take off. Weight Watchers was so impressed by my family members and their commitment to the program that they actually put two of my cousins in a television commercial for the company in an effort to make their weight loss real for everyday people. Ultimately, weight loss and getting healthy have become a real family affair.
It blows me away to see these people taking control of their health because our family has always loved food—especially unhealthy food. It’s such a change in lifestyle for everyone, especially the elders in my family, who never dieted a day in their lives. When I threw my son’s second birthday party, almost everyone attending asked me to plan a special Weight Watchers–friendly menu so they could stay on the plan that day. As I walked around the party, we all began talking about our personal weight-loss journeys, and we created a spontaneous Weight Watchers meeting on the spot.
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