The trip was quick. And when the train screeched as it came to a stop, the lady sitting with me adjusted her hat, picked up the bag in between her legs, and headed to the door.
I arrived in Petersburg about forty minutes after the train had pulled off from the depot in Richmond. The train made multiple stops along the route picking up people who were either going to Petersburg to work or to Norfolk for an extended stay. All of the riders in my car were colored. The white patrons were in the train up front. Even though they were separated from the coloreds as if we were diseased, I could see them through the train window smiling and talking. As I was getting off the train, Jessie rushed over to assist me down the steps. “I hope to see you again soon,” he said, as if he really meant it.
“We will probably see a lot of each other, since I will be going to school down here.” He turned and smiled.
“By the way, when will you be back in Richmond? I see your wife and children almost every day sitting on the porch across the street.”
He seemed a bit rattled by my comment. A frown seemed to appear immediately above his thick eyebrows. “Nadine is not my wife, and they are not my children.”
“I’m sorry. I just thought…” He cut me off.
“Don’t be. She had the children before we met. I was going to marry her, but she turned out to be a different kind of woman. She’s not the marrying type. Now the children, they are some good kids.”
“Sorry to hear that. You take care,” I said, in an attempt to end the conversation. I could tell he wanted to talk more. He moved in closer to me and whispered in my ear, “You are a beautiful woman.”
I shrugged my shoulders and struggled to release a smile. His manner seemed a bit inappropriate, since I was a married woman. So I said, “See you later,” and took off in a rapid stride down the road in the direction of Virginia Normal and Collegiate Institute. When I reached the corner, I turned and glanced back at Jessie. He was still watching me, peering straight at me.
The school was set up the same way the Union school had been. It was a short walk from the train station. Most, if not all, of the students were women. All of them yearning, like me, to teach school. I sat with my legs crossed and poured my heart out to the administrator. She was a serious woman. Had walked down Pennsylvania Avenue in the Women’s Suffrage March in 1913, and understood how it was for women and young people of color in America. “Women need a purpose in life. We’re not secondhand citizens,” Mrs. Middleton said.
“Yes, ma’am,” I replied. “I want to help the people around me to learn, so they can dream bigger than the farm.”
She was a founding member of a women’s organization called Delta Sigma Theta Sorority.
“Being on a farm is somewhere to be proud of living. Most of us come from farms,” she added.
“I’ve always wanted to teach, and I can’t wait to get started.”
“First, you need to fill out these forms for our records.”
She handed me two documents to fill out. As I sat at the desk answering questions, Mrs. Middleton watched me. I felt she was analyzing me, sizing me up. I sat as poised as possible, and tried to be as ladylike as I possibly could. Momma always said appearances were important. In Mrs. Middleton’s office were books on everything, from geography to mathematics.
When I turned in the last form with my address and family information on it, she gave me a book to read. She told me to come back in two weeks when classes started. I smiled.
I stopped by a rooming house across from the campus. The colored lady who ran the house told me I could stay there, share a room with another student, if I helped her prepare the food for the other students who had money to pay. I agreed. I had been cooking most of my life anyway.
On the way back to the train station, I realized I had thought about everything but little Robert. How could I go to school with a baby? I didn’t know how I would handle it, but I knew there would be a way.
I didn’t see Jessie when I boarded the train heading back to Richmond. I was sort of indifferent about seeing him. I wasn’t sure why he told me I was beautiful. Was it because he was lonely? Or had he been sincere? It sounded inappropriately good. I hadn’t seen my own husband in over a month.
Robert was sitting in Mrs. Hall’s lap when I got back home. His jovial eyes gleamed as she bounced him on her knee. He glanced at me, smiled and then reached with both hands for me. He was so charming. My heart filled with love when I saw him, and I wondered how I could go to school and leave my little boy.
“Well, what happened down in Petersburg?”
“I enrolled, Mrs. Hall.”
“Good, child. When will you begin?”
“In two weeks.”
“Good; now how many days will you be in Petersburg?”
“I will be there for four days a week. I’ve got to find someone to look after Robert for me while I’m in school.”
“We’ll take care of him for you. He’s used to us. Let us help you.”
“Mrs. Hall, that is too much to ask of you.”
“I like having Robert. He is like the child we always wanted. My husband loves him like his own. Besides, you and Simon are like our children too. Now, before you say no, talk to Simon about it. Send him a letter.”
“I don’t think Simon would want me in school.”
“Why not?”
“He thinks I should wait here until his career as a baseball player has taken off.”
“It is always about the man.” She giggled.
“What do you mean?”
“Honey, this is the twenties. A woman is supposed to be beside her man, behind her man, but never equal. In other words, women are supposed to cook, clean and open their legs when their husbands desire. There is more to life than being a housewife.”
“Did you want more, Mrs. Hall?”
“I wanted more, and I had more. I had my own business. When I met my husband, people couldn’t understand our relationship, so I sold the business and we moved here.”
“So, you did that for your husband?”
“No, I did it for me. He never asked me to do anything I didn’t want to do. We lived amongst a lot of racists. I didn’t want to wake up and find my husband hanging from some tree. I moved here because it is safer. I will go anywhere with him. After all these years, we are still in love.”
“I hope Simon will understand.”
“He will. Besides, you will be done in no time.”
“Mrs. Hall, please don’t say anything about this to Simon. I want to talk to him first.”
“My lips are sealed.”
I went up the stairs with Robert on my hip, shaking my head. Simply baffled.
Chapter 9
Simon came home just before the evening breeze had begun to stir up the leaves falling on the cool, dry ground, and as the sun descended behind the clouds. After traveling all over the map, going across the border to Washington and Baltimore, and even driving for three days to St. Louis, Missouri, he needed rest. The Colored League was expanding, but for some reason, Simon felt he hadn’t found the right team for himself yet.
Every time I saw my husband, my heart started to do a love dance in my chest, pounding for his attention. And this visit was nonetheless the same. A smile wiped across my face at the sight of him. The reason he had chosen to be a ball player had become prevalent in my thoughts. Finally, and for the first time since I’d been in Richmond, I understood how much Simon longed to be on a team; I had that same unshakable desire to teach children how to read. However, I couldn’t share my plans with him.
Simon’s instincts were sharp, though. He noticed anything odd or awkward whenever he walked into a room, said he had warning senses. It was good, since I didn’t pay that much attention to everything going on around me, partially, because I was a young girl taking on a woman’s job with little or no guidance. My daily chores took up my time. Each day slipped into the next; the ritual of making feeding bottles at night and fetching hen eggs in the morning, doing
laundry, all had me captivated in motherhood and trying to be a wife. Mr. Hall kept the furnace burning through the crisp fall nights. I had never put wood or coal into a furnace. If the Halls had not been downstairs, Robert and I would be cold at night.
Simon picked up one of Robert’s pullovers, and opened it up. “Baby, why are Robert’s things packed in a bag over here beside the bed?” he asked, and threw his old duffle bag loaded with soiled clothes from red clay and dirt from roaming from second base to catcher beside our bed. For me, It would make sense to find a place on a team and stick to it. Washing his uniforms by hand was more than a chore. I’d have to boil water and get the water hot enough in the tub to tackle the red clay and grass stains. Even a capsule of bleach couldn’t remove some of the stains engraved in the knees of his pants. Afterward, my hands were usually tired.
I had been pulling things out of the oak chifferobe the past two days, carefully folding Robert’s diapers and the little T-shirts Momma had made for him, into tiny piles. I wanted to leave Mrs. Hall with everything she needed for Robert while I was away. The booties I had knitted would go as well. He didn’t have a pair of hard bottom shoes yet. Simon had promised to order them from the Sears catalog for Christmas. With each garment, my hands trembled. I was doing something my momma and husband would say was unfit for a good mother.
“I’m just sorting his things. I’m putting the things Robert has outgrown in a separate bag, to be passed on to somebody who needs things for a little baby,” I lied.
“Why would you get rid of them? You can use them when you get pregnant again,” he said, removing his soiled clothes from the bag and placing them on the floor.
When I heard him, I bit my lip to keep from swearing. Why in hell would I want to have a baby at this time? He didn’t know what it took to raise Robert.
Simon’s words pierced my soul. A baby! He barely knew what it took to snap beans, slice meat, cook, and wash clothes all with a baby hanging on your hip. When Simon decided to be home with me, and work a paying job in Richmond, I would give him as many children as he wanted. Driving the model T all over the states did not leave much time for raising babies.
“I am not giving away everything, just some things. There’s a lady with a little boy down the block.”
“You need to keep them for yourself,” he demanded.
“All right, Simon, I heard you,” I answered.
“We can start tonight,” he said.
“I’m not sure a baby is what we need,” I answered.
“Why not a baby?” he asked, pulling me close to him. Just the sensation of his breath against the side of my face had me vulnerable. I could have undressed at that moment for him. I didn’t, though. Instead, I attempted to explain.
“It’s just that you are gone most of the time. I don’t want to do it alone again. It is hard enough for Robert and me. We miss you, and since we don’t have any kinfolk around us, it is a little lonely. I second-guess myself most of the time because I don’t know anything about raising a child.”
“Carrie, this is a good neighborhood. Everybody looks out for each other. You will be safe and I know the Halls would be happy to help you, if necessary. Every child wants a sister or brother.”
The Halls had already opened their hearts up to Robert and me. They were like godparents to him; at least that is what I prayed they would be. Aside from the occasional visits from Momma, they are all the family he has. They love him so much; they reach for him whenever I go somewhere. Mrs. Hall’s blue eyes light up and Mr. Hall seems content with Robert in their possession. He’s always bouncing him on his knee like Robert is riding a horse. Mrs. Hall said they always wanted children of their own, but she could never carry a baby to term. Their love for Robert is majestic and pure. I left him with them when I enrolled in school and I planned on leaving him with them for four days a week while I was studying in Petersburg.
“Simon, can we talk about a baby at another time?”
“Having children is natural. Most people don’t plan children; they just come. But if you insist, we can talk later. Seems to me now is as good a time as any to add to our family.”
After Robert was fast asleep, Simon pulled me into the bedroom. I quickly excused myself to the bathroom, searched in the back of the cabinet for my sponge, and inserted it for birth control.
When I returned, as Simon lay me down on my back, I was confident I wouldn’t get pregnant. I had taken the precautions any ambitious woman should take to pursue her own goals. So, when Simon kissed me on the forehead and then deep on the lips, I succumbed. His tongue went deep in my mouth, sampling my fluids. With each kiss, I lost control. I parted my thighs and coaxed his hard manhood into my sweetness. My syrup was flowing like honey from a bee hive. His sting was so inviting, I threw my head back and released myself to him. Simon thrust and thrust on me like a machine. I loved every moment, especially because I had my little secret weapon—the sponge.
Simon whispered, “I miss you, girl.”
I murmured back, “I miss you, too.”
I gripped his back and pulled him close to me. Simon loved it.
“I love you, girl,” he whispered.
While Simon slept, I went into the bathroom, removed the sponge, and put it back in my special place.
The fall was rapidly moving in. The mornings were damp and chilly. The trees barren, the leaves blanketing the ground like a tapestry bed quilt. Simon took advantage of the cool weather, and tossed the thick quilt on the foot of the bed. He woke up early the next morning. He started out by gathering the hens’ eggs and cleaning out the feathers and dirt in the chicken coop. He threw sawdust on the floor and patched up places where the winter wind chill could seep through and disturb the chickens. Afterward, he helped me hang out the clothes on the line in the backyard. For a while, I felt like he was going to stay. But, I knew better.
That afternoon, when I heard her knuckles tapping on the door, I cringed. Nadine knew how to rattle my nerves. She knocked for a few minutes before Simon opened the door.
“Come in,” he said.
Nadine came in smiling.
“I thought I’d pay you two a visit.”
“Please sit down,” Simon said.
She came in the parlor and sat directly across from Simon in the high-back chair.
I watched the way she sashayed into the house, and how she purposely sat directly in front of my husband. What was more sickening than her being there was how she sat with her thighs parted and pulled her dress up above her knees when she crossed her legs. Nadine was a deliberate woman. One who could rouse up even the mildest of temperaments. My nerves were so frayed that I wanted to jump out of my chair and choke her until she recognized I was sick of her.
“Nadine, I saw your husband the other day.”
Her eyes shifted. “Where did you see him?” I could tell I had made her nervous when she began to play with her hands, rubbing them as if she had experienced a chill.
“In the neighborhood.”
“Wonder why he was around here. I thought he was on the train somewhere.”
“This is where he lives.”
“How often does he come home?” Simon asked.
“Well, we are sort of separated.”
“Sorry to hear about your marriage.”
“He didn’t know how to handle a woman like me,” she said, peering at Simon in a seductive way.
“He seems to be a nice man,” I said.
“He couldn’t take care of me. I need me a big strong man like Simon.”
“How are your children handling all of this?” Simon asked, ignoring what she had implied.
“They didn’t like him anyway. He wasn’t their daddy.”
Simon was not looking in the direction of Nadine. He was staring at me, as if there was something I should have been doing. Finally, I said it. “Nadine, we were about to go out.”
“I just wanted to say hello to Simon. I miss you every time you come home. I told your wife to tell you hel
lo the last time you came home.”
Simon narrowed his eyes, and glanced over at me.
I didn’t say a word, but I watched Nadine give my husband a peep at her private area when she uncrossed her legs to leave.
I walked her to the door.
“Next time, Nadine, stay at home.”
“What?”
“You heard me!”
Chapter 10
Simon stayed for a full week. He seemed a little different about his stay. He was not as anxious to leave and get back on the road. While he was home, there was good news about the newly formed Colored League had open dialogue with Rube Foster and others to form the Eastern Colored Baseball League. The league would have protection from the invasion of the larger white teams. The formation of organized teams with paid memberships had opened doors to more games and involvement from teams like the Kansas City Monarchs and Baltimore Black Barons. Simon loved the news, and felt warm about the opportunity to join a team permanently.
All week, I’d watch Nadine sitting on the porch in the cool weather waiting for my husband to come outside. And when she’d see him, she would yell, “Hey, Simon, it is going to be a good day today.”
He’d wave and continue with what he was doing.
It was the middle of the week, and the fall wind had been strong, so brisk it chilled your cheeks. The last of the leaves were floating to the ground, and most of the trees were barren. Nadine had been sitting on her porch all morning with a winter coat and hat on waiting for Simon to come out of the apartment. She had a weird obsession with him. When Simon started to the corner store, she came off the porch, ran to catch up with him, and walked with him to the store.
I watched them go out of sight to the store. It wasn’t long before Nadine and Simon appeared between the two pine trees and Simon came into the house.
Before he could unpack the brown paper bag, I wanted to know what had happened.
“Why did Nadine follow you up the street?”
“I don’t know, Carrie. She seems to need a lot of attention.”
An Elderberry Fall Page 6