Altered: A Beyond the Brothel Walls Novel

by Ryans, Rae Z.

  Long hair, worn wild and loose, hid her bowed head. I believed she would’ve waited there for as long as it took to awaken Petre, if not for Tomas’s interference. Before Cain, I hadn’t witnessed a love rooted into the depths of the soul, and what I had thought about love was not truth. We had love; Korri had love, and I wanted everyone to see and feel the sensations. Fluttering hearts, breathless sighs, unfettered need, and caring rushed through my veins when it came to Cain. He squeezed my hand and kissed my cheek.

  Perfection wasn’t our goal, and no one should ever seek the notion, but love, love would always be enough.

  “There were times I questioned how Petre could have loved me.” She lifted her head and wiped her eyes. “He sought me out,” she chuckled, “and stalked me for years.” Korri touched a hand to her neck where a chain rested. An amber pendant hung between her breasts. “After my recapture, everything changed. I became a vampire and confessed my love.”

  I never did ask her why, or how, she’d become a vampire, and Cain’s twisted brows appeared equally curious.

  “Jules’ fault. He raped and tortured me within inches of life. Petre had given me blood before fighting with him.” She brushed a stray wisp behind her ears and dipped her head again. “Jules snapped my neck and fled.” She shrugged her shoulders. “When I awoke, I was a vampire.”

  Lights dimmed. Our car swayed; the train chugged along its icy track. Cain’s attention remained on his sister, and his fingers drummed over his thigh.

  “Let it go,” I whispered, even though Korri would hear. I rested my hand over his, silently willing him to still.

  “My sister is raped and murdered, but let it go, he says.” He brushed my hand away. His jaw tightened, and his teeth ground out his words. “Mother would roll in her grave.”

  “Dorian is right. You need to let it go.” Korrigan straightened her shoulders and rose from her bench. She knelt at his feet and grasped Cain’s hands in hers. “Look at me.”

  He shook his head and stared out the darkened window.

  “Babe,” I whispered, and wrapped my arm around his shoulders. “C’mon, remember what we talked about.”

  Cain’s bottom lip quivered, but he nodded. “She wants to help, and we’re helping her in return.” His tone lacked enthusiasm.

  “Please do this for me,” I thought, hoping he chose to listen.

  He tilted his head and faced her, but his body had remained stiffer than a sheet of ice. Without dismissing Korrigan, his fidgety composure was as relaxed as he would be. I couldn’t force Cain to come to terms, but time wasn’t a luxury. The pain in his eyes stayed and left a bitter taste in my mouth. Lights dimmed again, and both their gazes shot upward to the bulbs. I glanced out the fogged windows and wished for the ability to reverse all the demons had done to his family.

  Korrigan broke through my thoughts. “I forgave Veric and believe he didn’t know. Jules Garland is now dead, and he’ll never hurt another soul. Petre taught me not to live in the past, and you cannot either, Cain. Or you, Dorian.” She turned to Cain. “I see Mother, and the love she held for us. Let’s not let her sacrifice be in vain and finish the dream she envisioned.”

  “Veric still loves you,” Cain shook his head, “you can’t push your husband aside. Don’t you remember how much you loved him?”

  Korri chewed her lip and stared at the floor.

  He pled, “You’re hurting him, and I can’t hate the man who saved my life.”

  “I’m not asking you to hate him, Cain—I don’t hate him. In some ways, he saved me, too, reaching out to me through dreams and giving me strength to hold on, but my heart doesn’t belong to him.”

  My brows twisted. Veric had saved him on more than one occasion, and until recently, no one else had known the extent of Cain’s abuse. He shifted, and Korri returned to her seat.

  I still allowed him to keep secrets. My arm slid around his shoulders. Forcing him to relive nightmares wouldn’t bring us closer. On the contrary, it would tear us apart.

  “Dad sold us, but you and Veric didn’t learn about it right away,” he said, light bleeding from his eyes. “We lived fine for the first hundred years.”

  I winced. He lived fine? Cain stared out the window, but our gazes locked in the reflection.

  He whispered, “I was his lover, willing at first. One of many actually.” A nervous chuckle left his lips, but he raked his nails over his denim-clad thighs. “The war started among the humans, and our war began. His new council crawled from the cracks of Hell.” Cain gulped; his lips trembled. “You and Veric returned from England.”

  Korri said, “And everything had changed. Boric obsessed over the keys, demanded ours, or else. But Father didn’t have it, I did. Mother had sent it to me in England before Boric collected—she thought it would be safest with me.”

  “Boric kept me chained, like a dog, in his room after that.” He bit his lip but couldn’t hide the tremble or watery eyes peering back at him from the train window.

  My brows lifted wondering how my father could create such an evil creature, but the answer didn’t lie in our creator. People—Elioud—were not born evil. Maybe the others weren’t either. Father had created us to serve him, but the two hundred fallen angels, countless ones who had followed, had all chosen their fates. Some of them were not evil beyond their choice.

  “After Boric was through with me, he tossed me into circulation, failing to tell his guards I wasn’t straight. They thought I was just being difficult. At first, they forced me to service women and would beat me when I couldn’t finish. Within a week, Garland’s men had beaten me within inches of death. After I healed, they sent me back, but the results were the same.”

  I asked, “What changed?” and regretted the question. I clenched my fists.

  “One of the men raped me, and the other noted my arousal, despite being forced. I didn’t want it, and I sure as fuck didn’t enjoy it, but my body reacted to the prostrate stimulation.”

  “Bastards.” I coughed into my hand.

  “I spent years chained for the guards’ personal use. Boric still visited me during the time. I escaped a few times, too, but his guards dragged me back. You don’t know how many times I prayed for death, but the healers always brought me back.”

  “Your family didn’t know?” I narrowed my gaze at Korrigan.

  Korrigan stretched her fingertips, curling and cracking the knuckles. Her back was ridged, like steel, the sway of the train un-wavering her muscles. “How do you think he escaped?” she said. “Veric and I both put our necks on the line, but—”

  Cain slid his hand over mine and squeezed. “Dorian, I was too weak and defenseless to navigate the desert. I didn’t make it that far, not often.”

  “From Angel’s memories, it appears she didn’t want to leave Mother or Lily behind. There weren’t enough people to get them all out, and Cain was too injured and scrawny,” she whispered, tears pricking her red eyes. “Boric knew someone on the inside was helping, and naturally, Angelica was his first suspicion. Boric accused her because she was free—married, not sold into the Garland family.”

  I nodded, squeezing Cain closer, and chewed my lip. Why didn’t he tell me sooner? Parts of me had loved the men who’d turned on me. It happened among the humans all the time when they were still alive. How many women or men stayed in abusive situations out of love? Maybe beneath the surface we, too, were like humans. I brushed my lips against his temple, and Cain turned, burying his face in my neck.

  “It’s all right, babe.”

  “Your assumptions are wrong, Dorian. Yours too, Cain. While Angelica loved Veric, the marriage had been arranged. She was a prisoner, lucky enough to find an ally in her husband. He treated her fairly, as his equal, and Veric still fights for her, for me, until the end—yet despite all of this, it is simply too late for me to love him as more than a friend.”

  Silence settled over the car. Bitterness surrounded me, not because Korrigan or Veric failed, but because they were in the position to
begin with. Why hadn’t we intervened? We all knew about the slave trade, maybe not the extent of Boric’s underground system, but we did know. Long before the Sundering, before Boric gained the power, we—the ABDA and Horsemen—could’ve squashed him like a bug.

  “Angel brought the keys, shortly after Veric freed me, and told me to hide them.”

  I stroked his back, offering what little support I could muster.

  “Two weeks later, Boric captured, tortured, and executed Angelica, while I watched, helpless to save her life. He must know I have them,” he whispered. “Jules moved Lily and himself north. Veric, me, and Korrigan ran for eight years, dodging Garland’s men as we ventured from beyond the Mexico border, crossing into Texas by boat, and using public transportation and foot to cover our tracks. When Korrigan turned eight, Veric had brought her to Jules in Philadelphia, knowing we couldn’t run any longer. Jules must’ve had Lily hidden.” He shook, and closed his eyes. “But Boric caught up to us.”

  “But you have no recollection of this?” I asked her.

  “Fuzzy details. I vaguely recall Veric leaving me with Jules and telling me to be a good girl.”

  I shut my eyes, clutching hold of a sobbing Cain. The world had shattered that same year, and the humans disappeared, ascending or descending, to their rightful places. Two continents had survived. Father spared Canada for a reason—most of the Archangels were already living there. Sure, many had migrated north or south, but why had Philadelphia survived the destruction encircling the city? My head tilted, lashes fluttered as I eyed the Elioud vampire. Father had wanted her to survive. Her red eyes trained on me, and I nodded. Everything in life happened for a reason.

  “It’s hard to imagine the world before.” Cain sniffled. “I wish I’d known you then.”

  Me too but would I have been prepared to love him?

  “Did Lily know?” she asked.

  Cain responded with a curt, “No.”

  For the majority of the trip, we kept to small talk. Eventually, Cain fell asleep, and I laid his head on my lap, stroking my fingers through his wavy hair. My thoughts wandered to what Korri had said about Petre earlier at the house, shedding a different light on the vampire I’d met only a few times through Tomas. Love, forgiveness, and revenge all held a place in this hell-forsaken world.

  Slivers of color peaked on the horizon, churning the sky into fiery reds, oranges, and shades of blue. My fingers stroked Cain’s jaw and I smiled at the natural beauty outside the window. Our era didn’t need to become Hell on Earth. We had time to fix the wrongs, even if time had to move forward. No one but Father could change the past, and that wasn’t in his grand design.

  Korri’s breath sucked in, announcing her appreciation of the world flying by. “Petre taught me to see the beauty in the darkest places.” A grin widened over her petite features and wrinkled the edges of her eyes. “I do hope you’re right.”

  “I’m always right.” I chuckled.

  Some might have asked what role Petre could have played and why he was important. Another might have argued he had money and power, but it was neither of those reasons. Petre Von Baron had wealth all right, a wealth of knowledge. In a few years’ time, he had most of Arcadia and parts of Delphia on alternative energy. His teams had developed biofuel, and rumor had it, he dabbled in airplanes. Delphia and Garland already used crude, unreliable versions, but Petre’s company didn’t cut corners. Many inside the ABDA aligned their opinions of Petre with Korrigan. For all his glory and accomplishments, though, he was humble.

  Smoke from chimneys and factories rolled into view. Our train slowed. Cain stirred from where he’d fallen asleep in my lap, blinking his brown eyes. A five o’clock shadow fell over his handsome face and hid the dimples. In the entire world, I wanted to see no other man.

  “Good morning,” he muttered, stretching.

  Hot breath blew over my groin, through my cargo pants, and I bit the inside of my cheek. Having an erection pinned under his head all night didn’t make for a good morning at all.

  Korri mumbled her morning and left us, assumedly, to fetch breakfast.

  The door had barely closed before Cain pinned me to the bench seat, his lips feathering over mine. His tongue slid into my mouth and I moaned. My hands dipped into his jeans pockets and kneaded perfect cheeks. Though there would always be someone to save, when this crazy mission ended and his sister was safe and we had all the time in the world to be together, I wanted the world to know how much I loved Cain.

  His kiss deepened with my trailing thoughts, and I grounded myself in his fiery flavor and fragrance. The past weeks had been nothing but Hell and lust fueled moments with sprinklings of tender love. Cain deserved better. A home, a devout lover, and no worry to crease his brow ever again. No pain or heartache, either, yet I didn’t dare promise what I couldn’t keep. Love, though, I promised him love and forever.

  The train rumbled and hissed. As we approached Montreal Station, our alone time ended.

  My hands pressed Cain against my aching cock, reminding him how much he drove me wild. If I could have stolen a few more minutes, I would have bent him over the bench. Cain drew away, and I caught the glint in his wide eyes.

  “Your thoughts,” his head shook and a grin spread over his lips, “sweets, think pure thoughts.” He grabbed his bag and changed his clothes. Bit by bit, his beautiful chest disappeared under the cotton, and coolness crept where our skin had touched.

  Within, I cursed our mission, and the world we lived in, because fewer chances would arise in the future for us to be alone. A sigh tickled my chest, and Cain cupped my cheek. I mimicked the action, running my thumb over his rough skin. At a glance, he appeared a bit older, but still not old enough to reflect the wisdom in his muddy eyes.

  “If we survive this crap, babe, I want you to move in with me. For real.”

  Cain kissed my nose and rolled from my lap. I reached for him, and he paused, staring at our joined hands. A lump formed in my throat, and his brows scrunched, trying to follow my thoughts. I slid from the bench and rested a knee on the vibrating floor. Blush rose in his cheeks, and he glanced behind him before looking at me once more.

  “Marry me.”

  Cain said nothing but spun toward me.

  “I know I’m not perfect, and you deserve better.”

  He blinked.

  “Neither of us knows how anything will play out in the future,” I shrugged, “I love you and don’t care who knows the truth. You stormed into my life, kicked the shite out of me, and little did I realize my heart had chosen you then, Cain. When you left me, I was lost, and I can’t continue without you. So…marry me, please.”

  “Will you do the dishes?” he asked, and cracked a smile.

  I nodded.

  “Take out the trash?”

  Again, I nodded, and he knelt to the floor, joining me. The train car swayed.

  “Will you quit smoking?”

  My brow rose, and I slanted my head.

  “Just kidding sorta, but I’d rather have you stinky than not at all.”

  My lips brushed against his, and I gasped. He still astounded me with nothing but contact. “Will you?” I held my breath

  His lazy grin rolled over his face. “Yeah, sweets, when all this shit is done, I’ll marry you.”

  He barely said it before my arms crushed him against my chest.

  Cain strained his words. “Does Death have a last name?”

  “No, but Dorian does.”

  His gaze lowered to the floor.

  “Why?”

  The train squealed to a complete stop, and a sighing hiss released into the air.

  Korri opened the compartment door and yelped. Wide eyes greeted us.

  Cain turned as the blush deepened.

  She said, “Sorry, I’ll come back.”

  “No, we were… testing out the floor,” I said.

  Amusement sparked in her amber eyes as the heat burned my neck.

  “We should grab some food to go in the c
entral court and head on out.”

  Korrigan revolved on her heels and departed.

  As I stood, Cain stopped me and said, “I love you.”

  Hearing the words caused my heart to race.

  He glanced to the window, and the wrinkles sunk into his brow. “I thought I loved him...I’m sorry.”

  “Babe, there’s nothing to be sorry about.” My finger tilted his chin, and a smile spread over my face. “Love is strange and wonderful, and we can’t always help who we love, or where it takes us. When love dies, it’s like the person died too. We mourn the loss from our lives, even if he is a sadistic bastard.”

  An audible breath blew from his parted lips. Boric might not have been a sadist to him at first. I hated thinking it, but I was glad he did end up that way. If not, we never would’ve met. A life without Cain didn’t seem worth living…without his charming smile or his silent strength…so many pieces of him reminded me of the little things. No more could I have pinpointed why I loved him any more than why we needed air to breathe.

  “There’s a spell I can cast…I won’t if you don’t want me to.” Cain shook his head and rambled, rubbing a palm over his jeans.

  “Babe? What does the spell do?” I grasped his face and forced his gaze on me.

  “Oh.” A sheepish smirk gave him a youthful glow, despite the wisdom of his golden eyes. “Allows you to hear my thoughts.”

  “Tempting,” I thought, but my stomach did not agree. “Do you want me to hear your thoughts?”

  He whispered, “Yes.”

  People exited their cars and more noise made it harder to hear. I jumped up and glided the door across its track until it closed. Muffled sounds inside and out still reached me, but this equally satisfied me; I would hear Cain easier without the distraction. His freckled nose wrinkled at the black smoke billowing past our window.

  “Then, yes, I want you to cast the spell.”

  His palms flipped upward, and kneeling again, I caught the glistening perspiration. Why was he nervous? I cocked a brow.